Day 675: A Startling Realization

The alarming shock treatment perpetuated onto the physical body, that some connect to the statement; “Being caught read handed”, with big eyes and a solemn look on one’s face, is not necessarily a point of fear, or being scared, but a return to the Here-ness of Now, out of one’s mind, during the following of a thought around in one’s head, that in most cases we dread to leave and believe it’s who we are and in the midst of creating, that’s misconstrued as contemplating, which is an actual internal conversation that’s taking place, interrupted and erased when a noise/sound, movement and/or person comes into our vicinity unannounced, and in our unawareness we say; “Man you scared the shit out of me”, while really it’s a gift (if realized), that one was in one’s mind, which is NOT into-me-I-see (Self-Intimacy), and so become startled.

A simple jolt is all that’s needed to awaken the inter-you from participating in the sideshow, in essence, as if the cells in your body are asking you, have you learned your lesson yet, and still create an imaginative picture of ‘what if though’, and that’s where the fear of things come in at, which begs the question, are we really afraid, or just scared of the idea of something happening , I mean it could get extensive, when not realizing that nothing should move me in anyway what so ever.

And in some cases, we cleverly suppress the reaction inside, then go outside and smoke a cigarette to stabilize ourselves, stating to oneself; “I’m alright”, but Whoa to the act of none correction, which is self-forgiveness for accepting and allowing myself to not take with me the lesson and Art of being Here, but instead for the second time got caught looking into my mind and so became startled.

A borrowed moment from reality is a fallacy, because I fail to see the importance of being Here, and that time is not on our side, but a tool to be used and side with, in increments when spending one’s day in the moment, which houses clarity, which makes for a less startled me. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to inundate myself with an alarming shock treatment, as a statement of being startled when roaming around in my mind and awaken suddenly by a noise/sound, movement and/or someone coming into my vicinity unannounced, as if the cells of my body have announced to me in the form of a jolt, “Where were you”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved into being startled, when following around a bombardment of thought in my head, and instead of realizing the gift within it all, fall for being scared of “what if”, something was going wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become startled when my friend walked in the room where I was working, then look at him with big eyes, because of being shocked out of my mind and back Here.

So after I experienced this a few times, I started to investigate why this was and realized it not to be a point of fear, but a needing to be Here and focused on what I was doing, then tested it for cross referencing, where when he came in times after that, I didn’t experience such a jolt of being startled, but more of a stable calm demeanor, because I made sure I was in the Here-ness of Now, and as an bonus/additive was able to support him, when I went out for a moment and came back in on him working and startled him, and so shared my realizations with him about how I experienced the same thing when he came in earlier, and so became an “Ah Ha” moment for the both of us.

Thanks for reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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