Day 842: Your Own Worst Enemy

What’s gotten into me is an enemy in fact, when intimacy seem to be the thing that we lack, where the truth about things is always correct and exact, but over looked when asking the question, “Did I do that”, your own worst enemy is the ‘I’ in the mirror, as seen through the eyes as mirrors of one another, on the wall in our minds we mural one another, and place images of them being the blame for us, where in a God we trust outside of ourselves, with made up promises to take things out on them, when I’ve created the world of me around myself, but play the victim to not take responsibility. Its heart felt when going through depression and anguish, where the pain is excruciating to say the least, when using blame that ends up feeding the beast, it makes me my own worst enemy.

We get mad when sabotaging the relationships we have, in hopes the relationship would stay the same, while the relationships we have with ourselves is estranged, which makes us deranged from having our life in order, where the follow of some rules is a self-sabotage, a mirage that the mind use to massage us to sleep, and while asleep we damage the very essence of our beingness, that most don’t realize we have but say, “I think, therefore I must be the mind I am”, I react and so must be the anger I feel, I feel and that makes me an emotional person’, without considering could these emotions be the enemy of me, that I use loosely and perpetuate in a moment of confrontation, as if to confront ‘why am I doing this to me’, but by never asking the question why am I doing this to me, makes us our own worst enemy.

Self-Position and Placement we create an enemy of, especially when stepping into a situation blindly, and find that it’s getting beyond my ability to direct, and expect things to magically sort themselves out, then pout about things not going the way we expected, in protection of the idea we have about self- placement, but wait, if everything would work itself out, we’re quick to shout out loud, “YES, I did that”, with the claim, “Right place, right time” all the time, which shows that I’m the curator of where I go, and the people I meet and the interactions I have – that when accepted as a self-placement become a correction of the past.

Before last but not least it’s the idea of feeling empty, that I need something to shake up this world of mine, with all I know in it, once friends of mine that has shown me in so many ways my own human nature, without knowing they were doing so, but pushed aside, thinking I just don’t need them in my life, and so place as an enemy them in my mind, to continue on chasing after a self-interested buddy, or a friend who would always be on my side, lying to myself about having fulfillment, while feeling guilty about having no fulfillment, so turned to guilty pleasures to stop feeling empty, that only drain me more from being complete, all this while thinking I’m awake but sleep, in the sense of not looking inside myself to deep, but stayed on the surface of how people see me, and here I would remain within a point of defeat, never once consider being my own worst enemy.

What’s not realized is that anything outside of investigating oneself is the exacerbation of being our own worst enemy, where it’s actually easy to agree with what some have to say, if what they say is a pointed out fact, without wanting to react, or lash back out at them, for showing us what we’ve done to others, that obviously we’re still doing to ourselves, or else it wouldn’t be perpetuated towards us by them, where we may say, some people are just a**hole, but what about the holes we drag others in, and down to our level because of embarrassment, it becomes a clear picture for me when seeing things this way, that if I accept this point of responsibility, others won’t have anything to say, that would correct our relationships and stop the sabotaging within it, to spend every moment being here in the present, and if every moment is being spent here in the present, lessens the chances of me being my own worst enemy, because I’m seeing and correcting these flaws within me, to reach my utmost potential to be a friend of me.

To be continued…

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Day 841: The Question Behind the Question (Perspective)

[Real quick] Starting points are like bartering points for asking some of the things we do, and doing some of the things we do without asking the question, but why am I really doing it or what am I really asking, as King of my own self-interest, where curiosity is possibly the most nosy word around, but yet we remain curious and serious about wanting to know, unless it’s how things work to know more about what we do. Where what we’ve been through, (if questioned) is a prying perspective of sorts, that some may use to go against the grain and against you with no remorse, making vulnerability a question of how much should I say and who we choose to say it to that can ruin your whole day.

We devise way of manipulation to get the truth out of somebody, I mean is it the truth we’re really looking for or a hearing for our curiosity, and what will we do with the information if it’s not what we expected, that so makes the question behind the question a point of irrelevance, from questions like “Are you ok”, or anything from the past, especially if the question seem too difficult to ask, where we’re quick to pass judgement silently behind a smile, while saying in our minds, I got something on them now, that can be used when I see fit to throw a fit about something, in wake of becoming emotional, wanting to ‘fit’ about something, that don’t fit when emotional and not knowing what we want, so ask questions of grandeur to get the answers that we want.

And when it’s something else, we don’t believe a word they’re saying, to walking away with the idea that I can’t trust this person, is it really deserving to take what others have to say for granted, instead of managing the possibility they’re only answering what we asked, that we mask when using pre-questions to beat around the bush, with the belief that what I’m seeing may be misunderstood, and taken the wrong way which cause for investigation, before sabotaging a relationship by being complacent.

Adjacent to that there is such a thing of making a point, but only if the point needs context to get to, in the sense of contextualizing what one has been through, to get and understanding if what we’re saying makes sense, so the walking through perspective of each step makes perfect sense, to ensure that nothing’s missed or misconstrued as a hindrance, being that the way we see things may be different than others, so the question in front of the question poses no threat when uncovering, what’s needed to be seen when asked for a perspective, especially when in contexts of learning a self-lesson, and that’s it. We all are a work in progress.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 840: The Lady in the Red Dress (Perspective)

Plus the buff guy in the beige shorts (as an addon), and all other people and things in our world that appeals to us, should be congratulated for a distraction well played, and made in the nick of time right before or after we should have or have realized something, although seeing it coming, our roaming eye gravitate toward the curvature that bevels the body, where we probably should have kept our eyes from roaming on their own, and honed in on what we were actually doing, in pursuance of walking through the steps of our process, for each one of us at different locations, positions and placements at different times in our lives, that we’ve created to walk through this lifetime, and you’re right we all have been distracted, in fact we might be distracted right now.

An image of a god like body materialistic, that covers up a devilish mind unpresented, the thoughts that lies deep within such an acceptable figure, is the thought that we pick up on to be delivered, as one liners and pick up lines we designed, in hopes to connect to the other persons mind, and see if it align with our ideas of connection, that messes with the point of us standing as correction, but say ‘my god they’re beautiful’, is what we’re left with, and that’s it when all is said and done with this perspective.

But the affect only comes in when one reacts to what we see, then go into our minds and create possibilities, that poses a threat to our insecurities and doubts, that if I talk to them they may curse me out, so think the worst about them to validate our infractions, without them even giving us a glance, where in the midst we have a chance to stop this from happening, to stop our nose sniffing senses from being attracted to conflict, and self-inflicted mayhem when our feeling set in, and addiction starts to arise when thinking about them, that can easily be avoided by staying in our own lane, when we Know we have a problem when looking at pretty things, it’s strange that we have problems when looking at pretty things, where a memory comes up from what we saw on T.V., to thinking that’s me, it’s my time to get what I want, that’s cut short when not knowing the wants that I need, and plead to god ‘is this really for me’, because I feel like I’m in Love with what I see.

I mean this all happen in a moment of reaction, in imagining what if this was real, it’s really the lady in the red dress holding the blue pill, for us to go back and see just how blissful ignorance really is, and every once in a while you may be invited into a situation of grandeur that stamps and reason for acceptance in our minds, where someone in our interest may reach out to us, out the blue that you may think is compatible to you, so we entertain the idea for a short period of time, and that’s all the mind needs to distract us from being here, into thinking I got this because I’m aware of what’s happening here, and so use awareness as a war of energy surging through our bodies, to falling for the very thing we’ve committed ourselves to be aware of, and swear that I manifested this into my own life, for the good, that’s bad, until the bad turn ugly and find ourselves walking the same point again.

Addiction is the sucker that drains us dry, that sits right behind what the eyes see, that’s why most of us say I love people watching, that really only watch the way they look and walk, and from there determine how far our imagination will go, and if they catch us looking shift our eyes real quick, to not make such a defined gesture with our heads and/or act as if we’re trying to see something behind them.

But the purposeful purpose of the lady in the red dress, or the attractive buff guy (to me), screams the point of self-acceptance, do I accept myself more than the image I see, compared to an image of a person I would like to be like, that I allow to create judgement when relating with others in my world, causing me to lose sight of relating to the self of me, and so separate myself from the images I see, that all I envision is pieces of me, that’s been spread out over and long period of time and now seeing glimpse of myself in my mind, dressed up in characters to feed my eyes, that can easily be corrected this lifetime. Learn how HERE.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 839: The Ultimate Separation (From Me)

When your way is not a way of getting we say things like, Ima cut you off, because I need to surround myself with people who loves me, as the piney imperfection that I need love and to be love, which is a cry for acceptance from Yes men and women who won’t tell me that I’m full of s*** when I’m down and out and want to blame the world and you for the experience of me. These things are like breeding strings of separation, to becoming old, ornery and alone, simply because we ran out of people to cut off in our lives, and now stuck living in a state of evil, eventually withering away, because we were looking for love in all the wrong places and complicated the simplicity of a life worth living, with all in our world as equals to us.

The same as saying I’m downsizing to fit my budget, that’s a lie to covet the money I have, to eventually falling off because I thought hoarding was a point of investment in itself, instead of realizing investments is a point of self-movement, in circulation to keep the blood pumping in circulation, to circumvent the point of stagnation in a stationary position, waiting for things to happen that won’t, if we don’t reciprocate what life has to offer, that offers itself up freely for all, to have the ultimate experience of connecting with one another as all one Self, while being here just to connect with oneself, where what we have here is a failure to communicate, and this failure to communicate is how we separate, but after seeing that another don’t look like me, in the face because their skin color is placed of a different shade, that validate the point we’re trying to make, that each continent should hold just one race, and borders we use as our saving grace, to not take responsibility for this mess we’ve made that exacerbates separation.

A point of inception is skin coloration, to claiming I’m colored and you’re not like me, so separate ourselves from ourselves (each other), without knowing how this even came about, and for some of us we really don’t want to know, but would rather live within the idea that I’m the cream of the crop, and so blame the other for what we have and have not, that can be taken away at any given moment on either end, because things are not simply the way they were, where times have changed and in these changing times, skin color is now just a state of mind, that can easily be corrected and replaced with acceptance, that we all are cut from the same potato, and shapes and sizes lies to the eye in spite of us all being alive and well, we prefer the dissonance of being in hell, and so choose to say ‘hello’ to one another, instead of ‘be well’ that does wonder to our well-being, I mean I’m guilty of the same before redefinition, and so say hello as a point of creation, creating heaven on earth that will only take place if our ultimate goal is to stop the way we separate.

What’s the rush, why are we in a race to leave this place, to go someplace that doesn’t exist, and leave everybody behind so we can exist, as a ghost like image because our bodies won’t go there, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have exacerbated the separation that exist in this world, in a rush to want to leave this place to go someplace that doesn’t exist, leaving everyone else behind who didn’t follow the same religious stand point of view I was born, bread and raised in, taught to be true, instead of seeing the likeness in every human being as me, and so become an example of how WE all can live on this planet as equals in oneness and equality.

That it takes all to come together to make a difference and this coming together is not a point of discussion, but a sharing of our own self-corrective points, that would solidify all coming together on one accord, and connecting ourselves to the life line of Life, and live life in abundance as caretakers of this existence, I mean I once thought I was special and never knew the mission, because I missed the obvious of speak and tell, in the sense of telling exactly what I see, when looking at my Self inside of me, that doesn’t make me any better than anybody else, and NOT a fight with the Systems that’s out there somewhere, but a showing how I’m processing to ever so change me, to be the best that I can be doing what’s best for all, and that’s it.

In fact, I’ve separated myself from getting knowing my body, I’ve separated myself from the thoughts I think, I’ve separated myself from each one I see, by thinking they don’t look like me. I’ve created spaces of separation as us over here, and them over there we need to be aware of, then tried to convert some from over there to follow my self-interest, thinking it’s imperative to have more on my side, where as a collective we say “You don’t want to die alone” then go out and find someone to die along with, interrupting their lives with relationships, that built off of a feeling and bound to fail, but all hail to human nature that separated us all, in spite of knowing that we are all one, alone but together in individual expression, that doesn’t change the First Molecule we all came from. Enjoy Process!

Thanks for readings.

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Day 838: Do You Mind (Perspective)

When getting to the brim of a breaking point and the rim lips a downward slope over the edge, the claim one’s cup runneth over, is but the tip of the iceberg, that’s braked beforehand, when saying ‘Do You Mind’, preceded by ones short coming of irritation that’s clearly in formation with our perceived interruption, that states ‘stop bothering me, I’m thinking’, too busy in my mind blinking through chapters of character placement, wonderment and what if’s, and what if what they have to say is a point of support that’s being missed, into miss taking the opportunity to hack what I’m conjuring up in my mind?

Thing is, all we do is mine away chances for advancement, by shhh-ing one another, which may not always be the case, where the words ‘do you mind’ can go either way, where that’s what’s busy happening here, from them, as a test of ones resolve (if the point has already been walked) and from you, a failure to see the mirrored image of what we’re thinking, accepted and allowed, and for most part our awareness of being here is shot, and at times need these subtle nuances to awaken us back to the Real that Is You, Reality in essence, that should be counted as a blessing (so to speak) and to speak easy to those that communicate with me.

I mean these day’s it’s not that often you can find one to communicate with effectively, because of the taint we’ve placed over the trustworthiness of one another’s words, where if things sound unbelievable to us, we belittle the other in our mind and say stop lying, because we probably haven’t hard of it before, and so stick with it, and when explained more the context behind it, we already have our minds made up, to stating “Do you Mind”, that would bury the situation that has just been uncovered, and realized through the lack of understanding, that there’s more to this life and existence than we imagined, because our Ignorance is bliss created room for us to stay within the comfortability of not wanting to see s***.

That’s why when woken from a deep sleep, we get mad and want to fight the person who woke us up, literally, and at 6oclock in the morning we even knock the alarm clock off the night stand for interrupting our dream and/or so push the snooze button trying to pick up where we left off, because we’re too busy minding, which makes this a question “Do you Mind”, and answer how you will, because that’s all we do, like thinking it’s a feat to perfect the spoon bending technique, that take ectoplasm to achieve, but the mind won’t allow us to see that, and realize we have the capability of standing equal to and one with it, which opens the door for directing me within and as it, The Mind.

Things these days don’t just happen by chance, but programmed into enhancing the devolution of man, which when looked at it in reverse, show how we created it all, therefore must also be the solution for these problems to be solved, that starts with the way we interact with others, that I forgive myself for the way I’ve interacted with others, in character, accepting and allowing separation to be present, that I validate with irritation and so tell others “Do you mind”, when all the while being stuck in my mind, directing any situation according to a feeling, and emotions that’s potent enough to sabotage my world and all relationships I’ve made thus far, and so on and so forth.

And from there one can see just how important it is to treat others how we would like to be treated, and live the message of Jesus in fact, for all believers and all who is self-aware of just this point, could be a point of equalizing humanity as a whole, so “Do You Mind”, we all are a work in progress. Investigate you HERE.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 837: Imitator

We often times present ourselves as the walk of a walk we’ve learned to walk from watching someone else walking their process, and the talk of all talks to be the talk of the town, from hearing what others have to say when expressing themselves, where we learn how to express ourselves just enough to be able to put our 2 cents in perspective and have it make sense and be satisfied with the nonsense we’re really emitting to the public, in imagery of the copy cat character in fact, I mean it’s really only wrong if you copied the wrong cat, or haven’t lived the corrections to how that cat became that, before blasting out facts of what they’ve realized lived and seen, that we should take the best from and live ourselves before imitating them.

I’m it a tailor, tailing after what someone else do well, never to learn from or be like, but to soak up the claim of it as my own, as if all the good ideas just pore right out of me, and I have knowledge about everything you see and think about, and if I do, I don’t want share the source, so you can always come back and praise my intellect, it’s amazing how we interact with others, to keep them under the cover of our thumb, where rule of thumb is to practice to faking it before you make it, but end up getting the big head from all the attention you get, and never make it to implementing the knowledge we know, because playing the imitation role is so much easier.

Seeing a fresh face you haven’t seen in years takes for premeditation of what character will we present, so scroll through the memory banks of all the characters we’ve imitated to pick the best one to emulate towards an old friend or family member, where the old friend or family member in turn to the same, and you fine yourselves wanting to leave as soon as you can, because it just not who you are and the characters butt heads, in a way of being very hard to maintain, so miss the opportunity of catching up from old times, because we’re comfortable with the imitation of a life we live now.

Not necessarily a knock off brand, we’re off brands of the mind, with branches of preprogramming stemming from Eons of time, knowing how the mind work in imitation of life, we side swipe to the left instead of accepting what’s right, that may not look how we think it should, but good for us in any case that’s misunderstood, because we’d rather take after a branded version of life, instead living the limitless possibilities that life have to offer, and been offering itself up for free, that we’ve declined responsibility for and now have to prove that we can be Trusted with Life, in Every way possible to become life in fact, and be the examples the imitators emit to.

Following in the sense of walking along side, without any sense of pride that I got this alone, is a way imitation can be redefined to support, meaning ‘do what I do in steps to correcting your walk’, which makes it easy for one to correctly imitate a walk, because one soaked in what was emitted through practical example, from another who presented practicality as their standing for life, and so learned what real imitation is really for. In which case I’ve learned how to live, as a work in progress and so –

Imitate THIS.

Thanks for reading

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Day 836: It Happens When You’re Alone (All One)

Skin deep and that’s it, we surface the purpose of thinking about other who’s not around, but sitting right next to us in spirit and even hear them talking back to us, in rebuttal to what we think they may think about what we’re thinking, sinking deeper into the perks of aloneness, that’s only lonely because we’re not prepared for the present of being here, where it’s clear to me now that this is where the thoughts of despair is formulated and premeditated upon, that makes it hard for one to get to know me, when preemptively attaching oneself to the green screen of ideas in a mean scene that’s unclear, because what we’re thinking about is just Not Here.

Then think, In my eyes I’m in control of everything, from the conversations I’ve been in, to the confrontations I’ve lost, I mean you can’t tell me nothing, because I’m the one talking and you’re just a ghost in a machine that’s subservient to me, in my mind a figment of imagination, that I imagine doing what I didn’t do or say what I didn’t say to you in real life, in spite of knowing my thoughts hold no weight, but make me feel better about myself.

Going into time out as a child, puts one into the corner of the mind to pout, and oh what a dangerous place this is, imagining the worst being done unto them, by you times ten and then some in their eyes, then build thick skin around the likes of others, to wanting to get even with them, but behind closed doors, that sores the infection we inflict upon ourselves, that’s a reflection of the s*** they took from you, that motherfucker’s the motherfucker we turned out to be, not once ever considering the point of self-honesty, and this is what happens when we’re all alone.

The organization of the mind is outrageous at times, when hanging out with a few things we call our friends, like Emotion that puts me in an Emo mood, and Feelings that stirs up the excitement in me and Reactions that have me running around in circles, that flirts with the idea of wanting to hurt something, courtesy of the acceptance we give to them, when no one else but you can read your own mind, in laymen’s terms we live this outrage in silence, but stay out of the way when reality strike, like staying out of the ghetto in the middle of the night, where we think something is sure bound to happen in the dark, and so close our eyes and dream on these things, then wake up hoping that the world has changed.

Not seeing that the world is one collective entity, with individuals in it that have no empathy and can’t see in to me I see, as a solution, and the thoughts we think is what causes pollution, like smog from a factory, we pollute others mind and whine about the crime we created ourselves, to shelving the possibility that we need help, that only comes when opening up the door for yourself, that starts when you’re alone all by yourself, investigating what comes up in our minds, and the correction is to all the proverbial lessons we’ve learned, that shakes loose the bubbles we’ve been bouncing around in, to becoming aware of ourselves in our own skin, and embracing the good/bad/ugly that got us to this point, as me.

Looking from the outside in is but a taste of realizing how far out I’ve been away from here, everytime I choose to point in the direction of another, creates one more layer that thickens the separation between me and my Self, that mostly happen when alone without any lash back, but on the same token, this aloneness is the point of bringing things back to self, with no excuses – as the gift of correcting oneself without interruption, that’s actually easier to do then tough being done.

Where all one have to do is to question one’s Self Positioning Placement to Self, by asking why are these thoughts prevalent in my mind, like how is it that I think others are in control of my feelings, when I’m the one who is in control of my feeling, or am I, and if not how do I control myself from reacting to what’s coming up in my mind, I mean I’ve been that person in so many ways that person, and still the same person asking my Self personal questions, that’s personable to me, about the persona’s I’ve created from the personalities I’ve embodied from the moment I opened my eyes.

So what happens when we’re alone is blueprinting how we live and what goes on in our everyday life, and when this point is corrected we start seeing things simplistically, in a complex world we create complexities about others, but to stop this I’ve looked into finding THIS that change the whole way I interact with me, when Alone I’ve learned to take self-responsibility, and now walking through changing every part of me, and that it. Check it out for yourself. Enjoy!

It happens when you’re alone.

Thanks for reading

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