Day 460: Friends

What is it that you can say to someone, who confide in you that they will act a certain way when faced with an upcoming situation, before going into a mind possession, then end up regretting the decision they made to do what they did after the fact? Friends. You know how you want to tell someone what they’re attempting to do is wrong, so bad and give them advise by saying, “if I was you, I would…”, because you’ve seen the light and/or have walked through the point they’re facing before, but if you do, will upset or change the outcome in some way, where you’ve stopped them from having their own realization as to what their actions portrayed.

In the past, one would have agreed upon the course of action that was taken to be justified in a way of a lesson being learned, as if I was placed in that situation to be a witness to such self to self-diminishing abuse. Taking the high road to saying nothing substantial to assist a friend obviously in need, but would rather agree and find yourself as fault, because you didn’t at least attempt to give advice worth listening to.

What make a friend and keep friends together these days, is but a string of lies attached to one another, because they agree to disagree to see things eye to eye, not stepping on each other’s toes and accepting what the other do and say in their own world, that’s why we are so compatible! The blind leading the blind purposefully, to not have to face themselves for their own actions, but able to confide (which is hide) in/behind the validation received from a likeminded individual. That’s not a real friendship, nor a real friend.

When one is able to standup to, assist/support and give advice to another, that they don’t want to hear in the moment, won’t hear in the moment, but fully understand what you’re saying, although what they might end up doing is on them, is when you can say that you’ve been a true friend to someone, but that’s not it, because one still have to be there for them, to walk through the rest of the point, depending on what was done as a result to, within the situation, either way a true friend will give a common sense perspective..

Next point is, what happens when your advice is pushed aside by an uncontrollable Mind Possession, being that your friend hasn’t the slightest idea of what a mind possession is, let alone how the mind works, in fact doing the total opposite of what was spoken between you two, because in the heat of the moment, one faced a loss of words, which caused one to lost it, as the temperate grew stronger and stronger and the urge to resist became less, to the point of inevitable conflict?

That’s when you must listen to them unconditionally and chose your words wisely, without committing the spiteful act of saying, I told you so, what do one say to what’s being said – not to say you should have or shouldn’t have done this or that, because in a way that’s insinuating blame and does more harm than good, so to speak, but what I’ve found, when listening to them explain what happen, is that I went back into my life to see where I had faced the same or similar point and how I walked through it, so instead I started with; “You know for me” and “I remember when I..”, in bringing it back to self, without any judgment, which was well receive and understood, reflected upon, then realized that one’s actions was unwarranted and unacceptable, which opens the door to being able to take corrective action and what to do, if and when a similar situation arise.

This was the first time I was ever faced with such a situation, being who I am now, meaning the way I view things, my perspective on things and my resolve to oneness and equality, that by listening, not jumping to conclusion or wanting to jump in as if had all the answer, but remaining stable and Here, I was able to shed light on the situation, so that one could see things a bit more clearly, by bringing it back to self, although I am a process in progress, that was cool cross reference, for seeing where I have come from then to now, and for that I am grateful to have been able to start HERE then go HERE, in Learning myself and in the process Learn about Effective Relationships.

Thanks for reading

Day 459: Taking A Walk In The Mind

“Can somebody please point me in the right direction?” The most thought about but seldom sought out question one could ask, should ask, but pass to chance, going down the lonely but exciting road of ignorance. It’s bliss in the moment, the secret nothing whispering in your mind telling you everything is going to be alright, just keep doing what you’re doing, “I’m here for you”, don’t worry you’re not alone, let me figure it out for you.

The attitude one get, when someone says; “Figure it out for yourself, I did”, I mean what’s the secret, what’s the conclusion, I wasn’t put in the position you were with the extra helping hand you received, I’m just not seeing things the way you are, I mean I’m tired of taking a walk in the mind.

It’s not that hard to be pointed in the right direction, when there’s only one true North, but of course we have misunderstandings and misconceptions on how to figure it out, then lead ourselves into a misdirection, finding ourselves back at square one at every turn, because I’m too scared to ask questions, being that we’re too busy taking a walk in the mind.

Fuck it, I’ll figure it out on my own, was word’s I hated to say, but these same words nowadays, have made me change in a way, being that I know now what to figure, accepting what I have allowed, I stop walking around in my mind so much and wanted to stay Here on the ground, what I had to realize is that;

Why is it we let our minds complicate things to no end, I mean just thinking of something to say is hard enough when you don’t have the vocabulary to express what you really want to get across, making things too complex to comprehend, missing the simplicity in it all. This is the problem that we all have faced at one point or another within our life, whether a math problem or a book we read and couldn’t understand, even what someone has said, we interpret things differently than the way they are presented and with little to no knowledge on the subject matter, we step into our minds and walk around, try and make sense of it all.

It takes time and practice to see things from a different perspective and with an open mind, to say the least,
I mean when you’ve only known one way of looking at things your entire life, something new, although you may grasp onto it, still takes time to simplify in your mind, to see things for what they really are, I guess that’s why I write so much to get out all the riff raff, to get to the simplicity of words and the meaning, definitions and to redefine them as my way of figuring I out, but once I reach the point of simplicity it will be that nothing else of complexity will exist within me, so however long it takes, I will keep writing and keep on applying self-forgiveness until I stand one and equal with the word simplicity as who I am, to be able to express myself with clarity, as I continue to figure It out, and instead of walking around in my mind, focus more on walking my process.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org

Day 458: Hope/Wishes/Dreams

I Wish I had a million dollars, I’ll save the world, then get a million dollars and forget everything you just said, being that in most cases you won’t even help your own family members if they’re in need. I wish that I was magic and could disappear from this place, the abdication when responsibility is starring you in the face, wanting all our problems to go away. I wish that I could get back together with my Ex, so I’ll beg in love looking for another chance, but end up pushing them further away as only I can, not realizing that wishes are but ideas of hope, to clean up our life, where for some reason we think that if we think about something long enough it will happen, but it never does.

I Hope that when I die people will remember me, being that hope is a suicide note waiting to happen, in hope of, wishful thinking, just in case they might come through, but never do and fine ourselves experiencing one let down after the next, then end up saying I hope I can get my ass out of this mess, being stuck in an endless cycle of perpetual stress, going nowhere, but not Here, not realizing that HOPE is the key to limitation, because if you’re hoping, you’re not doing, like hoping to change, the same as hoping for change when you’re broke, it won’t come, so stop hoping and start hopping around, getting yourself moving, because change will only come when we walk our process.

Nothing is going to stop my Dreams from becoming real, all I got to do is work hard and I’ll make it, well, keep dreaming kid, being that it takes more than hard work to make any dream come true, as it all looks good running around in your mind, then reality sets in and you find yourself creating another dream. Follow your dreams son, said the parent to the child, I dreamed of be rich, but look at me now, just a stone’s throw away from barely making it, but at least I look the part, even if I’m faking it, we settle for less, then say that wasn’t my dream in the first place, then criticize those who came up faster than we did, was my thinking when I was a kid.

And as we grow up these things don’t really change, our hope, wishes and dreams absolutely remain the same, we could be in our forties, still inspiring to be a rap star, driving a nice car and maybe buy a Bar., but that’s still just wishful thinking, in hope that our dreams come true, when all the while nothing changes for you.

What I realized is there is nothing substantial in this world that warrant a hope, a wish or a dream, just that if we stop Hoping, Wishing and Dreaming = we’ll be moving forwards, taking responsibility for us, as us, for all, as us, but first we must, I must

Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that my hope, my wishes and my dreams is all I have to get me through this life, not realizing the limitation, that I am accepting and allowing myself to live as, whenever I say the words, I hope, I wish, and my dream is to be…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope for things I know won’t happen, unless I move myself in taking self-responsibility to making them happen. The world won’t change itself, unless I change me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Wish myself into a stupor, being that all my wishes were self-interest base – that all wishes are self-interest based in hope of/for things in my world to magically change and/or get better for me and only me, me, not once considering the we in it All, as All, as what is best for ALL life, which includes me, no wishing needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a Dreamer, day dreams, night dreams, my dream is to be a…, thinking what I would conjure up in my mind using my imagination, I would be able to place myself in the same position I saw someone else in, on TV, in the media, down to the neighborhood baller, superstars, actors and musicians, irrational dreams, being that they wasn’t my own, not realizing that my dreams were but illusive visions that was unattainable, due to the environment I placed myself in and became the person I was. To this day memories of dream’s, I once had, still come up within and as me, so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed memories (to this day) of past dreams I had to still come up within and as me.

And so on and so forth until I no longer have the desire to Hope, the desire to Wish, nor the desire to Dream, but to be Here in the Present, to live Here in the Present, with Nowhere to go, to experience the veil lifted, to see all as me, which all starts with me stopping my Hope, Wishes and Dreams.

Desteni.org

Day 457: Triggers

Let me paint you a picture. The bullet of a Gun travels through a chamber headed for its intended target, triggered by a firing pin that’s released by the Triggering Mechanism, pulled by a finger after the hammer is cocked back by a thumb, triggered by a reaction coming from a feeling and/or emotion that’s triggered by a thought presented by the mind after seeing or hearing something from someone or something in your world and reality, where you then say; “I Got U Now”. (GUN)

Obviously throughout that process, if slowed down you’ll see that, between each point one has the chance to correct oneself before the end result is tallied, but when sped up in real time it all seems to happen in the blink of an eye, like a doctor hitting the funny bone on your knee causing an uncontrollable reaction of your leg jumping, but tis not the case when it comes to the mind, being that the mind is mine, meaning you decide what your Triggers are and if any, you’ll notice a peculiar thing, you are not directing yourself, but being controlled by your mind.

A fist or word can emulate abuse (As the bullet of a gun) headed for its intended target, triggered by a reaction after assuming the intentions of another being and/or by the self you have created yourself to be, triggered by a probable list of emotions such as fear, embarrassment, jealousy, anger, frustration, envy and so on, after you’ve seen a self-create picture in your mind that appeared out of nowhere, from following a thought around in your head, before coming to a consensus that, I can’t explain what’s going on.

“The devil made me do it”, is but an abdication of self-responsibility and excuse, used as a trigger, then validated through prayer, that “He” comes to Kill, Steal and Destroy, which in fact is you Killing any chance you had at becoming Life, You Stealing the flesh off your bones (courtesy of the mind) and Destroying, taking down the whole of humanity and existence with you, because our inherent human nature is that of spite, being the creation of Triggers

Peer pressure, porn the words pussy and dick, advertisements of alcohol so sleek and slick, the way a person looks, the idea of having a good time, is but a few triggers that comes up in our minds, socially interacting with those of us who do drug, with those of us who gossip, spreading the gospel with love, I saw a movie on TV and wanted to be like that actor, which triggered me to react and act like that actor, overlooking the factor of consequences to come, I saw a commercial about Jamaica and wanted to drink Rum, with no real understanding of what triggers our responses, so in hopes for something greater we sit around in séance.

Being the person you want to be is capsuling to say the lease, because we believe that it’s our Triggers not allowing us to be free, but to the contrary my friend, it’s not the triggers that’s the problem, but us with in ourselves as the solution that can resolve it, dissolve this way of thinking and responding to things, in separation from ourselves living a dream, so reverting back to the bullet climbing through the chamber of a Gun, when will we stop killing ourselves just for fun? Got U Now.

Learn what your triggers are and how to stop them, starting HERE.

Thanks for reading

Day 456: Waiting to Exhale

In strenuous situations why is it that we hold our breath, until the initial shock is over then we Exhale, having to catchup on the breaths we missed, causing our hearts to start racing at a fast pace in that moment in time, where we’re waiting to Exhale at the drop of a dime.

Realizing your breath is not an easy task to do, being that for the longest we haven’t realized me as you, or you as me, we both do breathe, but without any awareness which creates Dis-ease, discomfort within ourselves we hyperventilate to say the least and have asthma attacks while falling to our knees, for most it’s too hard to see, but when seeing only a few can tell, that instead of realizing our breaths, we’ve been waiting to exhale.

Exhale, Exhale, Exhale, Exit Hell, Exiting Hell is hard to achieve, when you’re stuck in hell you wouldn’t believe, that in hell we have the chance to Inhale the breath of Life, we have the chance to make all our wrongs right, in spite we slowly divide, then run away and try to hide, holding our breath to not make a sound, down in the basement underground, sought out by tornados and earthquakes to face ourselves, all in one moment while waiting to Exhale.

Stop for a moment and breathe you’re in hell, then hold it in for 4 counts as the truth is revealed, the truth of who you are between the in breath and the out, then Exhale as the release will show what you have accepted and allowed, yourself to be/have become in your world on this earth, since coming out your mother’s womb during the dawn of birth, it hurts when you know someone that has taken their last breath and no church is going to save you with the time you have left, what works is to stop waiting and Exhale on your own, because we as humanity have been waiting for so long.

As a child, in fear I saw things that’s really wasn’t there, so I held my breath in anticipation, because I was too scared, to move anywhere until I closed my eyes and cover my ears, in a dark hallway in our house while running up the stairs, when I got to the top of the stairs, that’s when I would then Exhale, hoping that someday I could break this spell, I mean I was tired of being scared for nothing huffing and puffing out of breath, if I only knew how the hell I got myself into this mess.

“That’s it I done had enough” was not enough for me to realize to just breathe, not understanding this at times made me dizzy, I get mad I’d hold my breath, I push something, I’ll hold my breath, I’ll pull something, I’ll hold my breath, until I had no energy left, when all I had to do was breath through every point in every moment with breath.

So you see waiting to Exhale only gives you a headache, like waiting to eat at a dinner table with no food on your plate, but it’s not too late all you have to do is relieve, relieve yourself from all the shit you got hidden up your sleeve, by applying self-forgiveness and learning how to breathe and remember you can’t Exit Hell without taking self-responsibility.

Thanks for reading.

Day 455: It’s Not the Same as Before

There’s this old Gospel song we used to sing at the Church I went to growing up, with lyrics that goes; “Things I used to do, I don’t do no more”, I mean obviously, back then it was rather confusing, because what I thought I shouldn’t do, I saw others do and get away with it, plus being raised a certain way, there weren’t too many things I could do/did do outside the bounds of this religious establishment, making this song a projection of sort for whenever I went “Out into the World” and did these things on my own, that would validate this song, make it worth singing if I would ever overcome these “Things” per se. Lol

Well, a lot of things I did and even more, the way I thought, what excited me, made me happy and sad, I mean, there is a level of excitement in not knowing what’s to come, in search of the truth, where one could say that it is quite intriguing to say the least, wondering if the worlds going to end, the energy rush you get when you almost get caught doing something against the norm, against the status quote, the rush one get when participating in body jolting events i.e. skydiving, speed racing, going to amusement parks, sightseeing, I mean whatever excites you since you were a kid, the good old fun you had and want to relive again and again and again, over and over and over again, the party life, hanging out till 3, 4, 5, 6 o clock in the morning or staying up 2 Days in a row, it’s not the same as before.

One would say, when you get older you lose interest in most of these thing, which in a way is true for most part, but on the other hand, at times we still do participate in some things that used to excite us, that loses its excitement when becoming aware of its purpose, for example I never been to Disneyland, but when I went recently the most exciting part was me having an online chat with a few friends from around the world, while being inside the park, but don’t get me wrong afterwards I still enjoyed myself, but the mind blowing, jaw dropping, Awe-ness wasn’t there, as when thinking about the idea of going when I was a kid. It’s not the same as before. Same thing applies, the other day I went to the LA County Fair and it’s fair to say that I enjoyed myself, but saw it for what it was, meaning I understand why we are so drawn to events like these, because we fail to see the much more of ourselves that we are and can be, because we’re too busy working to survive and surviving just to work, just to eat and call that normal.

It’s not the same as before, when I sat ideally by with the idea of doing nothing, it’s not the same as before, when I would go to sleep and wake up at any given time the day/afternoon/night, then go back to sleep, it’s not the same as before, when I didn’t want to take responsibility for anything, I mean life is already fucked up, it’s not the same as before, when I sat around all day playing video game, it’s not the same as before, when I use to react to any and everything someone said to me, taking it personally, it’s not the same as before, when I used to compromised myself for an energetic experience, it’s not the same as before, because I’ve decided to stand up before it’s too late for remorse, before it’s too late to still walk outside your door and breathe in the breath of life, before it’s too late to save humanity from itself, me and you, each one of us have to take a stand and no longer accept and allow things to continue to go on as it did before and still do, I mean times are changing and so can you, so when it’s all said and done and we look back, we can honestly say that it’s not the same as before, but in fact have changed, as we experience Heaven on Earth.

Learn how to change yourself from before, HERE.

Thanks for reading

Day 454: No Follow Through

Good intentions get you nowhere, because what you intended to do you didn’t do, which shows that you have no follow through. In the midst of saying that we will do something, most of the time we really mean it, but our meaning never justifies the end, because in the end there is no follow through, and the most common excuse we use is; “Well one thing led to the next, then the next, where I lost track of time and/or found that I didn’t have the time”, but never saying, I was in my mind and second guess myself. No once do we ever consider the person on the other end, patiently waiting for us to follow through with what we said, I mean at least communicate, which is my biggest problem, no communication, no follow through, is not conducive in getting to know someone, building a relationship/friendship with someone and/or for that matter any existing relationship, I mean I’m sorry this is just how it is and how I have been existing that I really don’t like about myself and want to see this part of me corrected, so I’m writing about it.

The stench of fear is always at play, in a way when it comes to Not following through with things, whether it’s our insecurities or being too scared to say I can’t, not going to, don’t want to etc., then explain why we believe so, no excuses just how it is, again what will that person think if we tell the truth, most likely nothing, but ok thanks for telling me, as a few other dimensions connected to, No follow through.

My main excuse is thinking I’m not ready, I want to see things more clearly, learn more, do more before I…, which it really doesn’t take all that, I have the tool and know the rule to change, to just do it, so it’s either I follow through or don’t say, leave the assumption in someone’s mind that I will, so man up, excuses aside and follow through. In handling this point;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have good intentions to do things when asked, but not follow through with it, in the time I said I would.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that my good intentions are enough, and not follow through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when saying I would do things, always leave some kind of back door open to getting out of it, by saying things like’; “Possibly” or “Let me see how things go with me” or “Sometime soon” or “I’ll see what I can do”, which is playing both side of the fence, trying to keep everybody happy and shit, leaving nothing solidified in any case, and don’t mean anything if (in the end) I don’t follow through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always think that I’m not ready for something, to do something, take on a commitment after thinking that I am, and saying that I will.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave others waiting for me to follow through with things and not communicate what’s the matter in me prolonging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after insinuating that I will do something, have this fear come up within and as me of, what if I mess up or make a mistake or something.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that this fear is a level of resistance brought on by the mind that I’ve allowed to sway my decision and within that; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to sway my decision from following through, to wanting to follow through, to maybe I’ll follow through, to pushing it off indefinitely, then beating myself up about not following through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have all the excuses in the world, after I’ve allowed myself mind to step in and sway my decision to follow through and second guess myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully take into consideration others waiting for me to follow through with things, I’ve personally said that I will to them and for that, to all the being who I’ve personally said that I would follow through with something and haven’t as of yet, I’m sorry and asking you to please forgive me, as I am now taking a stance to follow through with things and no longer accept and allow myself to commit to something that I’m not going to do, but do what I have committed to. So;

When and as I see myself having good intentions to do things when asked, but not follow through with it in the time I said I would to the person I said I would to, I stop and breathe and communicate to the person I said I would to, what the matter is, to not leave them hanging/waiting for me to follow through with something and not do. I commit myself to keeping a line of communication open with this person, if/as/when things change, the reason and possible solution.

When and as I see myself saying I’ll do things but leave back doors open to getting out of it, by saying things like, possibly or let me see how things go with me or sometime soon or I’ll see what I can do, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I am trying to play both sides of the fence here, trying to make everyone happy and shit, which in the end I leave nothing solidified in any case, causing my chance to step up to be pushed back, effecting not only me but others involved. I commit myself to giving solid answers and no longer leaving open ended doors and assumptions in the minds of others, to be a man of my word, to step up and follow through.

When and as I see myself thinking that I’m not ready for something, to do something, take on a commitment after thinking that I am and saying that I will, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that this is but a mind production that I’ve characterized myself into, causing me to be confused and become indecisive and projecting it onto something I’m able to do that would stabilize me even more in my process. I see this as a defense mechanism of the mind, for me to stay the way I am and not expand myself, so I commit myself to cutting down the facade my mind presents to me of not being ready for things, but to gift myself that chance to prove to myself, that all it takes is to follow through one time and watch things in relation to this point get easier.

When and as I see myself insinuating that I will do something, then have a fear come up of what if I mess up or make a mistake or something, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that this fear is a level of resistance bought on by the mind that I have allowed to sway my decision from following through to wanting to follow through, to maybe I’ll follow through, to pushing it off indefinitely, then beating myself up about not following through, which in the long run I experience the effects of the low/down and out Emotion, then into self-pity, and the cycle continue. I also realize that it doesn’t have to be like this, it doesn’t have to go that far, if I but only silence my mind and with no question follow through.

I commit myself to silencing my mind in relation to having internal conversations on second guessing whether I should follow through or not with something I said I will, as it is not a valid question, but a waste of one focused moment HERE, so I commit myself to following through when I say I will, as the statement of me correcting, transforming and changing me to being a man of my word, not only sometimes but all the time.