Day 608: “H” as in “Help”

As one of the most Predominate words starting with the letter ”H”, that I’ve used, consisting of;

“Help”, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up, but not good enough, except when your fall is physical, other than that, it’s like begging for Hell-Please, that falls on deaf ears, although “Heard”, but no compassion for those who can’t “Help” themselves in the broad scheme of things, I mean if you’re literally deaf dumb and blind, all you got is your mind, which is one “Hell” of a way to live, and “Half”, (If not all the time) we act def, dumb and blind, when following the mind, so give me a “Hand” please, without clapping, because my one “Hand” is on figuring out my problems and the other is gesturing to get your perspective on what I have done thus far.

Is it really “Hospitable” to “Help someone after they’ve gone down the tubes when trying to figure things out for themselves, then “Hey” this person needs “Help”, but by that time, they “Have” one foot on a banana peel and the other “Halfway” off the cliff of insanity, because all their life the details on “How” to, was a bit blurry, and the explanation they received was standardized, which doesn’t work for every single person, I mean I should know because I’m one of them. Then you “Have” those who only step in after one person took the initiative to do and say something, as if to say; “Oh this person is cool now”, let me share my perspective, I mean 1 person can’t Help everyone in the world alone, and maybe not even 2, so “How” can I claim that I’m one and equal with everyone alike, when I don’t respond to and or give them the time of day/patience/courtesy and respect the same as I done those who I know? Really.

So you see the word “Help” “Has” been somewhat of a battle throughout my life, being that when I didn’t readily receive it, I would give up in a way, but if I really had to do it, I would do it my own way, and blame the fact that others didn’t want to “Help” me, on the way things turned out, but How about now, one would ask as a question raised under suspicion, defining the “Help” I should be giving myself, and giving myself; but to completely live the word “Help” as an Expression of me, a redefinition is in order, but first

Positive

I have used the word “Help” as a Positive connotation of the word, in a sense of needing a “Hand” for “Heavy” lifting and/or moving things around, as a question of uncertainty growing up of “How” to tie my shoe, and as a point of need when first starting out on a new phase of things.

Negative

I’ve also used the word “Help” in a Negative sense of the word, when laziness arises in the moment of resistance claiming; “Ah man I don’t feel like doing this, I need “Help”, as an abdication of my responsibility. And seen used unto me, as a cause for chastisement coming from a Parent or older Guardian for the moment stating, this will “Help” you to remember next time, which is a lie and really used for an Egotistical Power trip of releasing one’s anger and as a control measure.

Sounding of the Words

Help

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have Defined Help in the sense of resisting the chance to take self-responsibility for figuring things out, as a preliminary investigation to a point I’m walking in my life, where laziness sets in at the sight of seeing something that seems complicated then thinking I need Help, which in that case is more like a call to saying I want to remain in Hell-Please, instead of seeing/realizing Help to be that in which I ask for only after I’ve gotten to a point within my own self-investigation and need assistance to further my understanding on the current subject matter, therefore I Hereby Redefine Help to being that support received, when asked, after I have come to widths end or deadlock within a point of situation in my life.

Hell-Please

Heard

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have added my version to something I’ve Heard with the intent of making it more than it seem and/or making it sound good, as if I was the creator of it, Defining Heard as my perception of knowledge and information received, instead of listening intensely to what’s being said to not mistake or change any of it.

Hell

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have believed Hell to be someplace out there one would go to, if they didn’t follow the design of a belief systems God, instead of realize, the induction of Hell I place onto myself on a Daily basis, by following my mind around, that I’ve given the Master Controls of my life to, to direct me. Therefore, I commit myself to Helping myself to regain Directive Principle of me, by stopping my participation in this Hellish way of thinking that I Have patronized myself to living/being/becoming, to becoming who I am as life, as all as one as equal, bringing forth Heaven on Earth for all to live in.

Hand

I forgive myself that I Haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize my hand as two points of assisting myself to create that which is best for all life, in all ways, but have created self-abominations that I would call, my work, because society Has deemed it to be cool, which left no room for me to lend a Creative Hand to those really in need, because I wasn’t in fact Handing myself the Help I needed to learn How to create and How I was created. I commit myself to Handing over to me that in which I’m missing as the point of Self-Creation.

Help-And

Hospitable

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to only perpetuate an act of Hospitality, whenever it suited my self-interest out of spite to some who didn’t agree with the way I would Help other and for what reason, in some cases, but in other , chase after the positive energy of doing so, which in fact is consequential to myself on both end, therefore, I commit myself to living the word Hospitable as a form of expression to myself first, before I try and project it onto others in a Positive or Negative way.

Hold-Spite-Able – meaning no spite involved

Have

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have not accepted the responsibility for the things I perpetuated onto towards others, as the HAVES when writing out my Self-Forgiveness statements, therefore I commit myself to continue taking responsibility for the HAVES I Have done unto others through the continuation of writing my Self-Forgiveness Statements.

How

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have used the word How as a point of questioning a Self-Interest, not as a point of questioning myself through introspection, so I commit myself to gifting myself the word/question How, when coming to a point where introspection is needed.

Thanks for Reading.

Desteni.org

Day 607: “G”

They say “Good” things come’s to those who wait, but what “Good” does it do if you’re always trying to be “Good” but have no patience. It’s interesting how, I have defined the association with “Good” and “God” as almost the same thing, where if it was “Gods” will to flood the earth, that to me was a “Good” thing, opening the “Gate” of sorts to punish people that treated me un “Godly”, which in reality is insane, but carried out by the masses in Christianity in the name of “God”.

Then you have the statement “Good” “Grief”, which is an oxymoron, because what form of “Grief” do you know that’s “Good”, and the blame is either, it was “Gods” will or they shouldn’t have done…, but more fascinating is, why is it that someone have to “Go” through “Grief” to reach “God”, such as a bad accident or a life threatening illness, then wake up with a testimony from Hell, stating that I’ve been tested and saw the light, Hallelujah, I mean these are words and incidents I grew up with hearing and believing was a matter of fact, and thus defined as essential to the moral standardized way of living I was brainwashed to believe was the only way to live life, and so in purifying my vocabulary, redefinitions and/or replacement words to be lived, are in order. Side note {Nothing against Christians, if you’re living the message of Jesus].

To “Give”, to “Give” as you would like to receive. As a child, I always said “Gimme” “Gimme”, because after trying something one time, I wanted to experience that sensation again and again, so “Growing” up the “Gimme” turned into a choice of, can you “Give” me, then when I “Got” it, I didn’t really share sometimes, and the crazy part is how we misconstrued this message, by “Giving” in order to receive, I mean if you look at it, how many times have you Honestly “Gave” someone something and didn’t have any intentions in NO way what so ever of “Getting” anything back, probably far and few in between, but most would say I have a “Good” heart though, but again that where the “God” principle come in. So, within this, “Give” has been something that I’ve done with the expectation of receive in the long run.

It’s ashamed how it takes us, slowly but “Gradually” to get to know ourselves as someone else, I mean how “Great” would it be, to be “Grateful” to know every Human Being that you see, as if the “Gravity” between us, all of a sudden dissipates, NO more locked doors for real. Lol

Positive

How “Good” do one have to be to live a Positive life, as to me everything that was “Good” was Positive, that is until I realized the saying, what’s “Good for the “Goose” is “Good” for the “Gander”, “Gander” meaning male “Goose”, which with animals, may be so, but with Human Beings, it’s a different story, being that the Mind is in play with the Ego and an abundant amount of self-interest, so in essence what others may see as a “Good” thing and Positive, another may see as a Negative.

Negative

To “Grieve” over someone, I’ve always found as a Negative and used this word in a Negative connotation of it, being that death was a Negative to me, so anything associated with it such as “Grieving”, I see as Negative, being that I felt that “Grieving” had no purpose, simply because it couldn’t bring the person back, so therefore useless to me.

Sounding of the Words

Good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think being Good was an interest of self, to appease someone or something and have defined it as such, instead of realizing and living Good as a natural expression of who I am, by doing that which is best for all. And thus, hereby redefine Good as doing that which is best for all, being aware of and consider all as me as life.

God

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined God as something/someone unseen but special, a higher power, someone to be feared, instead of realizing this special being to be the same as me, where Godhood would be obtained once I stop my mind, and realize all as one as equal as me and become life.

Odd

Dog

Give

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Give as something I would do with the expectation of receiving something in return, instead of realizing that to give should be in the sense of a Gift, where how I would like to receive without any stipulations, I should do for other, being that others are me, I am Giving to myself.

Gift

Gimme’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word Gimme as a substitute for Give-Me, as a child, always wanting to re-live the experience I had with something I was Given, then Growing up with the same mentality, instead of realizing things should be Given to all freely, as how life should be, therefore the word to live should be Give, as in Gift, also “Sufficient” as in Self-Sufficiency, without the need ask for unless it’s dire, and without any expectations.

Give-Me

Gave

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word Gave in looking for, receiving Thanks or Praise, in the sense of a Handout give, in which I also attached a sense of Superiority to, thinking, just because I Gave someone something, I’m entitled to some form of Attention for it, instead of realizing everything I Gave and who to, should be past tense and thus letting go as the memory unconditionally should be the case, so I hereby redefine Gave to that in which I’ve done unto myself in the form of another, as if to move something from my right hand to my left.

Cave

Getting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a feeling of happiness to the word Getting, in the sense of something I wanted, that I would at times use to showoff, by saying “Guess what I’m Getting”, instead of keeping it to myself, simply because I don’t have it yet. I commit myself to no longer use Getting as a showoff mechanism of sort, but instead to keep it to myself.

Get-In

Gradually

I forgive myself that I that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used Gradually as a process of procrastination, taking my time, when time I didn’t have. I hereby commit myself to Redefining the word Gradually as the process I’m walking that takes time, to take things slow, in being thorough walking through each point to at a point in my life, Graduate/Amalgamate to Life.

Graduate

Interesting how there are very few words beginning with the letter “G” that I use in my vocabulary and for most as well, so in the process of expanding my vocabulary, I will investigate the using of more words starting with the letter “G”.

Thanks for reading.

Day 606: “F” Fighting/Falling/Forgiving

“Fight” “For” what you believe in, stemming “From” the statement, if you don’t stand “For” something, then you’re nothing, the same as telling a kid on the playground, I dare you to punch that other kid in the “Face” then calling him a sissy when he don’t do it. “Fascinating” how we “Force” one another to comply with the system standards of survival to “Fight “For” your rights, when what’s right is “Far” “From” how we designed this reality to be, which is “Foreign” to most, but complete common sense that we’ll rather “Forgo” than “Face” head on as a matter of “Fact” that we should live by.

They said we needed a “Few” good men, so I jumped “For” the cause like a “Fanatic” “For” change, because I didn’t resonate with the environment I grew up in, but soon found that the “Freedom” I was “Fighting” “For” was only “For” a “Few” bad men, as I have defined “Freedom” as the right to keep my material possession and way of life, even though it was “Forced” on me, as these words I’ve associated with the design of “Fighting”. But most importantly that perpetuate my external reality, is the day to day “Fighting” I do within myself, yelling and screaming at myself, then judging myself “For” doing so, this “Fight” resides in the “Forefront of one’s mind, “Forgetting”, hey wait a minute, I got a life to live Here.

Now before the “Fight”, one “Fail” to realize the “Falling” that will take place during and after, in the sense of the reactional contact that’s being made with Self or another, causes one to lose “Focus”, stability and “Fall” more than one would anticipate, until the I can’t get up becomes the Giving up on life.

The point of bracing for impact, is only a validation for the “Frequent” “Falling” one would knowingly participate in, i.e. an addiction to anything, where the ride is “Fascinating”, up then down like “Frequent” “Flyer” mile accumulation, as the consequences we create “For ourselves, must and will walk through, but if standing resonate with oneself, “Falling becomes a gift, when unintentional, where we’ll see it, “Face” it and “Forgive it, so in essence “Falling to me has been a point of Helplessness, Hopelessness, and Disempowerment, that needs to be redefined.

The lumps one gets “From” “Falling” as the consequences accumulated is overlooked, when the words; I’m “Fine” is spoken and/or I’ll be ok, instead of “Forgiving myself in the “First” place, and in my case, thinking believing I could tough through the pain, because to me, weakness was a “False” sense of perception that I “Feared” to “Forgive”, not realizing the “Fear I exist as is the “Fear of Self-“Forgiveness”.

Positive

Standing up for oneself when no other choice was give, was a way of Positivity I used to “Fight” against physical abuse, without seeing the Self-Positioning I was placing myself in.

The self-induction of a “Fall” for fun created a Positive happy “Feeling” within me, i.e. going snowboarding “For” the “First” time in my life, without realizing and “Forgiving” the harm I was doing to my Human Physical Body as the recognition of Self’s presence as life.

To “Forgive” and “Forget, a hopeful other that the same would be done unto me, as the Positive message I grew up hearing, but not always living.

Negative

A spiteful rebuttal inflicted onto someone or something physically and/or verbally, “Fighting” “For” an idea of one’s own self-interest to appease one’s Ego, I hated to see anyone “Fighting”, being that growing up that’s all people did, better yet I hated any form of abuse in itself and saw this as a Negative connotation of the word Fighting.

In a sense of one hurting oneself, no one likes “Falling”, I “Fell” a lot growing up and was told to get up and try it again, only thing, that didn’t take the pain away, and so I saw this word “Falling” in a Negative sense of the word.

Asking God to “Forgive” you when something is going wrong in your life, then waiting “For” the wrong to stop happening, but never does, goes to question why am I even asking, and how I saw Forgiving or asking for “Forgiveness” for a higher being useless and so Negative.

Sounding of the Words

Fighting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify Fighting on one hand as a last resort of position placement with no way out, and on the other as cruel and unusual punishment that need not exist, without realizing, the ultimate Fighting existing within and as me with myself as the perpetuation of all Fighting that exist in my world, this world and reality, as we exist in a form of hiding from having to face ourselves for our own minds.

Hiding

For

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used For, as a giveaway factor, shying away from that which I really need at times, as an eventual change from what I was doing, by stating, that’s just not For me, instead of realizing For’ as a prefix that’s always adjacent to me, as myself and /or through the eyes of another as me.

Four

From

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have utilized From as an umm statement of separating myself “From” seeing/knowing/understanding all as me, clarifying; to me “From” me.

Umm

Face

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have turned my back on me, to not see the First ace, as problem that comes up for me to Face, therefore (Hypothetically Speaking), I let my beard grow, instead of keeping a shaved life, in cutting out/“Facing”, all the riff raft, I exist as.

First-Ace

Fascinating

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created and participated in Fascinating moments, in the sense of chasing after energy experiences, and letting my inherent Human Nature as spitefulness run amuck, creating an out of this world showcase of emotional turmoil, instead of fastening my seatbelt of sorts, strapping myself into my process, and standing Firm in my commitments

Fast-In-Nature (Human)

Force

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have whenever I gave myself the Cold of emotions, during a conflictual situation, become hoarse as the Force of sorts, I use in trying and make others see my point of view, instead of realizing the point I viewed had no substance within it, therefore the Force of sorts I perpetuated was a scream of non-comprehension to what I was viewing, so instead I will use the word investigation in its place.

Hoarse

Far

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself for distances beyond my physical eyesight as Far, due to the Fact, I have blinded/veiled myself from seeing all that is me, with my mind, instead of stopping my mind to see everything here within and as me, making that in which I deemed Far here. I commit myself to continue walking my process to make this happen.

Few

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the word few as not enough, always craved more, instead realizing the simplicity within the few that speaks volume, when of substance, such as one you and one me.
You

Fanatic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined the word Fanatic in separation from me as something/someone out there that’s too attached to something or someone, instead of realizing how much of a Fan I am to the Addiction of my own mind.

Fan-Addict

Freedom

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that true Freedom comes when one has completely detached oneself from being controlled by one’s mind, into directing and living one’s life to one’s utmost potential. And this is achieved by Reading and applying the Damned material.

Read-them

Forgetting [see Here]

For-Get-Thing

Falling

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Falling as a loss of one’s bearing, due to some form of physical occurrence/interaction with someone/something, instead of seeing/realizing it also as a Gift to one when one resonates with standing up, I hereby redefine falling to that which assist me to see a point through a mistake made when not realized.

Fall-In

Calling

Forgiving

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used Forgiving/Forgiveness as a request For validation From someone when things were going wrong, From a higher power, instead of realizing Forgiving should be done unto toward and For Self-only, For it to be effective, therefore I redefine this word, to Gifting to me the Gift of awareness, that I can see/correct and change my ways, to support in a way that which is best for all.

For-Gifting

Thanks for Reading.

Day 605: “E”

When will “Enough” be “Enough”, after falling then getting up and “Expecting” the world to hand you a bone, “Eagerly” awaiting for someone or something to step in and take the blunt of our responsibility, I mean when is “Enough”, “Enough”, as a momentary way of saying in layman’s terms, I don’t want to play anymore right now, I’m tired, until the next “Energy” “Experience comes alone, then back to falling again, while being sidetracked by looking at the lady in the red dress, so to speak, with no “Emphasis” on life, but only an “External” stimulation that satisfies and suits my own self-interest., “Evidently” “Enough” wasn’t “Enough”, but defined as an “Easy” way to stop the pain in the moment, and when the pain had subside. it was back to living life rough.

“Enjoyment”, only as a momentary pause from reality, described in the statement; “Enjoy” it while you can, heard and “Expanded” upon as a rush to combust the “Energy” that “Existed” within and as me, feeling the need to “Enviably” let it all out, mad at those in my world who wasn’t raised as I was, always thinking of the “End” times, so I had better “Enjoy” the little moments of solitude while I Could, in which case “Enjoyment” = Something momentary and attainable, but only after a series of strenuous “Event”

Filled with “Empathy” for the little man, came from being in no position to do anything about things I was faced with in my past growing up, that I used as an “Excuse” to take out my frustration on the bully in question as recompense for what I was incapable of doing in my past, instead of setting an “Engagement” to oneself/myself to correct and let go unconditionally the memories I suppressed within and as me.

Positive

Oddly “Enough”, I used “Escapism” in a positive connotation of the word, meaning if I didn’t have to go through something or face something, it must be a good thing, instead of realizing the more I abdicated my responsibility, the more I would trap myself in the midst of a problem/situation, but if I could always “Escape”, I must have been doing something right.

Negative

Not understanding the reverse of “Evil” as the life I was living, I’ve placed this word as a Negative outside of myself, a thing that was unseen to the naked “Eye”, a force to be reckoned with, that could determine, whether or not I lived or died, without seeing the “I” as me that was “Eternally “Enslaved “Eternally” as the “Evil I let possess me, “Even” though I was the face looking at me through the looking glass of life.

Sounding of the Words

Enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Enough as a momentary pause in my reality for the pain to go away, then back to doing the same old thing. I hereby redefine it to being a statement of closure, an end to a monotonous way of life, into becoming who I am as life.

E-Nuff

End-Rough

Expecting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be Expecting things to happen for me on its own, instead of realize, I’m the one who needs to do the work, in order for things to happen for me in my life, world and reality, in Essence stop looking for enablement, and be dependent on myself.

Ex-Pecking-Thing

Eagerly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Eagerly look for an Easy way out of the messes I got myself in throughout my life, instead of seeing this lie as a way to stand up and take responsibility for myself, to be Eager to investigate and correct myself.

Eager-Lie

Energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by Energy Experiences, thinking that my inner chi is who I am, instead of seeing/realizing myself as life and not these spurts of adrenaline rush’s.
Inner-chi

Experience

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to utilize/see/understand that an Experience is something that should be learned from and/or cross referenced with and not just that, that one programable-ly,
goes through.

Expert-Entrance

Expire-In-Sequence

Emphasis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have only used Emphasis as an accent point of Self-Interest and not on that which is best for all life, I hereby commit myself to putting more Emphasis on my process and that which is best for all life, because I’m for common sense.

I-For-Instance

I’m-For-Sense

External

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay more attention to my External-Reality, the things that goes on, including the blame I perpetuate outside of myself Externally, instead of taking responsibility for all as me Internally first, then Externally.

Ex-Turn-On

Ex-Turn-All

Evidently

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Evidently as a spiteful way of validating my point of view, in which an Eventual lie was Eminent, instead of seeing/realizing Evidently as a matter of fact, when investigating through consequences a point of occurrence that can be change, and thus I hereby redefine Evidently to correcting and changing those parts of me that’s seen and unseen.

Evil-Then-Lie

Eventual-Lie

Easy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think just because he-say or she-say the way things are, makes it easy to follow them, instead of realizing a level of complexity within each person’s starting point.

He-Say

She-Say

Enjoyment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that Enjoyment was only momentary and something to attain to, but only after a series of strenuous “Event’s”, instead of realizing that real Enjoyment comes through self-Awareness and the willingness to change.

In-Joy-Moment

End-Joy-Moment

Expanded

I commit myself to Expanding my understanding of myself, my awareness to life as everyone and everything around me, and my vocabulary, in order to communicate Effectively with others.

Existed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have Existed in the ignorance of not knowing who I am, now seeing that this word is more than the usage of those that are no longer around, I can use it to cross reference and see when I am living an old pattern.

Exited

End

I commit myself to End/Stop all of my old patterns/ways/behaviors that would cause me to End my own life, if I were to let them persist.

In

Event

I commit myself to taking the Energy out of any Event I’m faced with, and to replace it with a walk of stability through it and/or to Experience without any movement of sorts coming up within and as me, i.e. concert etc.

Energy-Vent

Empathy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay more attention to those like me who couldn’t stick up for themselves in one way or another, where I would have empathy for them in trying to step in and fight their battles for them, all because, I wasn’t able to do this for myself growing up, and now derive energy as recompense for stepping in and or wanting to get Even, which is really pathetic to say the least.

I’m-Pathetic

Excuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give an Excuse as an Extra Cause to why I did something, to not just be straight forward in acceptance for the real reason behind my actions, instead of being straight forward, admitting to all of what I have perpetuated

Extra-cause

Escapism [See Here]

Evil

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to Embrace/Accept and correct the Evil within me, as me, first and foremost to be able to live life to my utmost potential and that more abundantly, but instead only projected it outwards as something out there in separation from me. I hereby accept and Embrace all of me that is me, and commit myself to live the reverse of Evil as Life as who I am. Energy Free

Energy-Filled

Live

Eye [Refer to Desteni.org]

Eternally [Refer to Desteni.org]

Enslaved [Refer to Desteni.org]

Creative Writing

Even though I felt that Enough was Enough, but it wasn’t, which was Evident in my repeating the same patterns over and over again, I Eagerly Expected someone or something to save me from taking responsibility, for going into Energy Experiences, Emphasizing that Externally I would Eventually take the Easy route, in hope for an Easy way out and being that my Enjoyment was only momentary, Self-Expansion was Nowhere in my vocabulary, I only Existed as the End of the word mentality, but showed Empathy for those too weak to stand up for themselves, without realizing that this process can only be walked alone, that I can’t save anyone, while living the Excuse; “Nobody helped me” as an Extra cause for Escapism from living an Evil (Energy Filled) life, therefore what my Eyes couldn’t see, Entrapped me to living a life of Enslavement, as I lived these words starting with the Letter “E”

To be redefine and live as Expressions of Seeing/Realizing/Understanding/Expanding/Growing and Developing myself, my vocabulary, verbal Expression, communication with Emphasis of Correction with the Enthusiasm of a Child in the midst of Exploring life for the first time.

Thanks for Reading.

Day 604: “D”

“D” as an exclamation point of past tense, to end out words, stating, this has been “Done” before, enacted upon already, as a closure of sorts, but can also be looked at as things that I can take responsibility for, with words ending with the letter (D), and Because I “De”-man-d to know the truth about me, I’ll start with first hearing the word “Don’t” and what that word made me “Do” as the envisioning of me “Doing” through my imagination what I was told, but never shown why not to “Do what it was that I wanted to “Do” and “Did”, being that from an early age, I felt as if I “Didn’t” belong, so I ‘Dared” to be “Different”, in separation, from seeing/knowing and realizing I once was and still connect to all in which I “Don’t” see and see myself “Different” to/as, as the ultimate “Definition” of separating me from myself, through these few basic words that start with the Letter “D”.

“D” as in ‘Demonic’, ‘Devilish’, ‘Deceitful’, ‘Discuss’ me in away when facing these ‘Dimensions of myself, that I’ve “Decided to bury “Down” Deep” within me, unware that the Deeper’ I bury, the more they would come out and “Disrupt” my “Day to Day” living, by becoming a living, walking, breathing point of Self-Destruction, believing that it was important to not let my Character be “Defamed”, as if fame through Characterization was the ultimate way to live life, but ‘Didn’t” see the evil within live, and so “De-mon-eyes-ed” myself to being lessor than a man, by the look I perpetuated. These words I used as points of Blaming Others/Things/Beings outside of myself for what I would experience and how I turned out.

Positive

They say that no good “Deed” goes un-noticed, and for me, this was such a Positive connotation of the word, but when really looking at it, I say who is it that’s taking note outside of ourselves, “Determining” if what we “Do” is good or bad, in which case I “Decided” to relinquish my self-control to that entity no one has ever seen, and that being said, I have “Defined” “Deed” as that in which I “Do” to receive or obtain something, i.e. a place in heaven, and have thought that these “Deed” were payments of sort, to seek favor when crossing the great “Divide”, but boy was I lied to.

Negative

Growing up I was told that if I “Didn’t” follow the word of God I would be “Dammed” and in hindsight “Dammed” if you “Do” and “Dammed” if you “Don’t” and because I “Didn’t read the “Dammed” Material, I felt as if my life was headed for imminent “Destruction”, so I blame it all on the “Devil” made me “Do“ it, as a “Devious” way of abdicating my responsibility, and this to me I have “Defined as a Negative way of look at life and the words I used to “Describe“ it, through following the “Dots” that never connected anywhere.

Sounding of the Words

Done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, that being done with something was all there was to it, instead of realizing that, being Done is only one aspect of needing to do more.

D-One

Do-Need

Demand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have chosen to Demand things, out of self-interest, that would diminish me as a man in separation from others, seeing things as them and me, instead of Manning up, to discover the me as who I am as life.

De-Man

Dem-And

Don’t

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take heed to the Don’t, as was told to me growing up, where I then took this as a sign, in spite of the person saying Don’t, I would Do, instead of investigating for myself the consequence behind it to really see what not to do.

Do-not

Do

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to only Do unto other as I would like to be Done unto myself, in which case when the Dew from the rain falls, there would be no reason for me to cover up, because I’ve treated all as Equal, instead of ending up as a Joe Doe that nobody likes and knows.

Dew

Doe

Doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have Defined Doing as, in the process off, while taking as long as I thought I needed, always ending in procrastination, instead of in the moment of to completion.

Do-in-G

Did

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use Did in a sense of cockiness, stating that I Did that/I Did it, not realizing all the why’ll, I was creating my Demon id, to obtain status, instead of using honesty as a policy in what I did, and to take responsibility for it, good or bad.

D-id

Didn’t

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and use as a cover up the words, I Didn’t, when lying face down in the midst of a problem, because of whatever consequence awaits and or the thought of personal Judgement being inflict onto me, which in fact is self-induced, instead of being the unspoken expression of the word, where my actions through walking as a living example would show otherwise, making it obvious that I Did Not.

Did-Not

Dared

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be antagonistic in following suit and or pushing myself to go outside myself and do something, I wouldn’t normally do, as a Dare, while the truth of the matter in me standing out, was wanting to be accepted, instead of being the first in my world to take responsibility for myself as all as me.

Da-Red

Different

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through the looking glass of blindness perceive myself as other than what I was seeing as all, Different, therefore separating myself from that in which I am as everything around me, instead of soaking up all that I haven’t seen and/or heard, investigating it and taking responsibility.

Differ- Rent

Definition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the ignition to everything is a words Definition, a person’s action or premonition, of who one is in every moment in one’s life, that when redefined, I walk/live/breathe the actions behind the words I speak as a commitment to me.

The-ignition

Def-in-it-on

Demonic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to describe and believe through this word (Demonic) the nature of an entity outside of myself, that I didn’t see/realize was within me all along, blaming my self-inflicted sickness on, that in which I created in my mind in separation from me, instead of seeing and correcting my inherent human nature as a mind possession.

De-man-Sick

Devilish

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put a label on a Human action, perpetuated by most everyone in existence and called it Devilish, instead of realizing that I don’t have to partake in such conniving ways as my ancestors Did, that is now coming out of me, but instead to dive into investigating supportive ways to live my life. to that with is best for all. I’m not a Villain.

Demon-Villain

Dimensions

[See Desteni.org]

Deep

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to describe and define a specifically placed conglomerate of words as Deep, thinking that this Deepness would be the saving grace of my life, not realizing that anything deep is of the mind, based in knowledge and information, instead of keeping it practical, in the sense of a Hole, dug taller than one’s own physical body.

Day

[Self-Explanatory} A cycled hour span of time.

Destruction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not once take into consideration the word Self, connected to Destruction, but have always, picture a Demolition site, whenever this word would come up, so when and as it does again – to check within myself to see what is misaligned within me.

Demonized

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look upon everything outside of myself in Judgement of it, Demonized. stating that this may have some adverse effect on you, instead of looking into my own eyes to see how I have been judging myself
De-mon-eyes-ed

Deed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Deeds as that in which I do to obtain something, i.e. make a place in heaven, but instead I now commit myself to living and taking responsibility for the actions I perpetuate good or bad

Dots

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself pin-point place times in my life as Dots to go back and re-live, bring up as memories and try and connect them to no avail, hoping for some sign of the future of what’s to come in my life, instead of realizing to Stop, searching out there and look within.
Stop

Creative Writing

The thought of being “Done” with everything, is when one is headed “Down” the road of giving up, without “Demanding” that I “Don’t” listen to the thoughts in my mind, but “Do” listen to myself saying you’ve “Did” it, you’ve been “Down” this road before, so keep “Doing” what you’re “Doing” without “Daring” to take the next step on a “Different” path that would lead me to self-awareness, instead of being sick with a stench of “Devilish” behavior on you, where the “Deeper” you go into my mind on a “Day” to “Day” bases, you’re headed for Self-“Destruction”, “Demonizing yourself with the characters you perpetuate and no matter how many good “Deeds” you “Do”, you’ll be forever trying to connect the “Dots” so STOP. As the commitments of ‘instead of’s’, I hereby redefine these words beginning with the letter “D”, as I am still in the process of Actively “Doing”.

Thanks for reading

Investigate Desteni.org

Day 603: “C”

As in Care, so when the questions/statements come up, “Take Care”, “Be Careful”, “What do you Care about”, and so many more, but in particular, “You don’t Care about me”, then stating; “I Care about you”, we give an answer with no plausible reason as to why, other than a superficial, be Cause of the things you do for me, so if I stop doing these thing, would you still care about me, goes to question ones starting point/motive for being together, and if you’re Curious test it out for yourself, ask your partner/mate/friend why do you care about me, as one of the toughest questions asked when dealing with a relationship of any sort, that I have Come to validate my reasons for the above statements.

Consider the possibilities, if I were to do this or that in my life, that I’ve been told, but only Considered them, without Committing, always leaving one foot in the door as an escape route, just in case the shoe didn’t fit Comfortable, being that my Comfortability as Blindness was the Case and Cause for my limitation, as I would Call on a higher power for help, which never Came, as my Confidence in Certain things started slipping, because I filled myself with Contorted facts, which was only ideas passed down from generations to reach me, just as Confused as Can be.

Positive

Christianity although fearful, became a Positive way for me to live, in the sense of having something to believe in, and while being stuck in the lie, I still didn’t feel Complete, but used it as a source for Conversation with like-minded Congregations is how I have used and defined in Connotation these words.

Negative

The thought of re-Creating the Crucifixion through Communion, to me wasn’t a Cool Community thing to do and after experiencing it a few times, the Negative Aspect Came forth, in the sense of simulating, breaking the bones, eating and drinking the blood of Christ, with grape juice and Cracker was more like a satanic ritual you would think, as the use of these words describe how I defined one viewpoint in my life as Negative.

Sounding of the Words

Care

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Care less for self, but more about the way someone makes me feel, which should be the opposite way around.

K-Air

C-Are

Careful

Care-Full

Cause

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see a Cause for everything as something out there, instead of looking within myself as the true Cause for how I experience me in my world, which I would end up paying the Cost for through Consequences in my life

Cost

Curious

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be Curious about the things I don’t know about, instead of investigate all things to see that the Cure is us.

Cure-Us

Come

Co-me

Consider

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to Come sit with myself Here in order to take everyone and everything into consideration, instead of just writing some things off. I Hereby Consider everything as me

Come-Sit-Here

Committing

I Commit myself to be the Committee of me/myself/and I, my mind/Body/Being that investigates every aspect of myself, to become one with and equal to each other and Amalgamate to life.

Committee

Case

Ace

Certain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself align myself to Certainty out of self-interest, only following/believing in certain things in this Case that made me happy, all energy based, instead of stating and living, what I will and will not accept and allowed, as my Certainty to becoming life.

Sir-Tan

Confused

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I was living on top of a Consciousness fuse that would ignite at any time, Causing me to react in Confusion to any and everything around me, instead if extinguishing the flame of Conflict

Consciousness-Fuse

Christianity

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live Christianity as Commonly known as Christ like, which implies, doing unto other as you would like done unto you, but instead got wrapped up in the worship of a Christ entity.

Christ-Entity

Complete

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to listen to myself tell me to Come with me please and investigate oneself, in order to be Complete, but instead always relied on something outside of me to Complete me, as such in any relationship.

Come-with-Me-Please

Conversation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for so long, have this debate in my head with my mind limiting, then stopping me from having an effective Conversation with another human-being, being that I Couldn’t decide on what to say or talk about, because I’d be too busy talking to myself, instead of silencing my mind before Conversing with someone

Consciousness-Verses-Self-Debate.

Real Care is when Self makes a Commitment and live by it, which shows that one really Care for oneself, which Constitutes Self-Care.

Creative Writing

I see myself in a memory looking for a Cure to be Consistent and Concise, Confused as to whether or not I Could be like everyone else, picking up something and sticking with it, I felt the world owed me a Chance to live Corrected and never took it, but remained for some time Closed off to the possibility of Change if there was more work involved. Curious to what was on the other side, I Came up with the idea that I was special, but Couldn’t Comprehend why. Conflicted between the thoughts in my mind and the reality in my face, I Chased after energy experiences, instead of investigating the inner me to experience who I really am as life for real, so with a Collective of words that starts with the letter “C” is how I have defined parts of my life as a catastrophe, to be redefined as the Confidence in living the Corrections I have/and will continue to commit to and make in my own life.

Thanks for reading.

Day 602: “B” or “Be”

Because my communication is not as effective as I would like it. To “Be” from that which has Been, should “Be” one’s ultimate goal, if one’s goal is to “Be” come Life, which is far with few in ”Be” tween, being that, we’ve always let It “Be”, IT as in I-Think, Believing that this IT’ must “Be” who I am, therefore “Let it “Be”, as in let it “Be” as in Content, meaning I’m content with Being who I am as these thoughts, instead of Being All I can “Be” as All as Life, To “Be” = I am Here, I exist as the Here-ness of Now, which houses, NO Belief or must to what is certain, the absolute BEINGNESS of what is Here as All in one Body.

A Body full of words, statements, slogan and phrases that I have used in separation from it, starting with the statement; I’ll “Be” right Back’, a pause or loss of focus from the present – that I allow myself to drift away from Being Here, for a moment of Self-Interest, “Be” leaving that it’s ok to leave a moment of interaction open ended, allowing for the mind to step in and “Be’ come directive principle, to analyze what has taken place thus far, to possibly inject into, add on to, a perspective given during the interaction, therefore when I come to “Be” (Back Here) the outcome of a viable solution has turned into conflict, because I chose to “Be” right back = turning my back on the present moment of interaction thinking that I’m right, and so Let It “Be”.

“Be” as in,’ Believe in me, due to the mistrust I have in myself, that make what I have to say and/or can do, that I’m not doing or haven’t tried an eventual Lie, basically saying help me to validate the lie I am perpetuating, Being or Becoming. “Be” as in Belief system, believing the outlined structured format, I was raised in as religion, which was to Become that which wasn’t attainable Being Here that was a lie, that I have used as a Positive connotation of the words.

In a more Negative aspect; “Be” cause, as a tide turning prelim to a forth coming excuse, that would validate a point I was trying to make, so when question as to why, I would say “Be” cause, as if there was a cause Behind my reasoning, which for most part there wasn’t, ‘Being that my bases for communicating, was only to spread the New knowledge and information I had gathered, ‘But never investigated.

Sounding of the words

Be

B-He

Been

Be-In

Between

Bet-Wing

Being

Become

Be-Come

Belief

Believe

Be-Lie-Eve

Be-Leave

Because

Be-Cause

Creative Writing

To Be he that’s Been In Between, that has Betted against life, in hope for Wings in the afterlife, unaware that I am a BEING in the process of Becoming Life, that takes No Belief System of Being the lie that I Believed, thinking that I was Leaving, But Because it was a Lie, I am the Cause for my current Allocation in this world.

Redefinition

So, from Here I stand as the “Be” ness of Here in every moment of Breath, to “Be” Here with every word I speak, to “Be” come Life as who I am, to change the inherent nature of my Beingness, to no longer spiting myself and or any other life form in this existence, I choose to “Be” and not Believe.

Thanks for reading.