Day 830: Who Is Self (Me)

Why are we so prone to addictions and reactions, always passively accepting what’s happening.? Is the core of me just defined by servitude, is it rude to say NO when knowing the truth? Have I designed my life to always be in the service of other, is it smothering to impress my feeling onto others? How is it that we really don’t know ourselves, when stepping into position that’s bad for Self? Who makes the choices that control our lives? Why isn’t everything just cut and dry, and plain and simple and not accidental, where simplicity is one of the most feared word in existence, in a sense of existing with no common sense and when told that we’re the problem we look in suspense, as if it’s the shock and awe treatment and wonder what was meant, by “I am the problem” when we are the Selves who created our problems, that looked for others to step in and solve them, while remaining Hardcore, Dead set in our ways, because these days it’s frowned upon to share VULNERABLY, that’s looked upon in stupidity – then stated “I wouldn’t put myself out there like that”, but blast the next person for doing the same to you, when the holy grail of Help is within the sharing of Self to others, in realizing how one is disconnected from the reality of Self, while in fact actually looking for the Self of Me.

We the people are all one Self in fact, that has separate ourselves from the Self we are, picking apart any connection points that held us together, by way of creating (And oddly enough) family comes first, when it’s not necessarily bad to put family first, but the worst of ourselves comes out when dealing with our families, where over time we become superficial with each other, scare to talk to one another as Self, so we compliment the S*** that they’ve worn plenty of times before to break the ice, while the real S*** is the stuff we ignore, then turn and walk away in sigh of relief, that I didn’t piss them off and got through the day, that suppresses any real feeling we may have towards them, and walk the rest of our life missing pieces of me.

Who is Self – the living breathing life force within you, that will not accept and allow anything less than who you are, and so do things in support of the beings ‘Life’ as you, with inflictions to circumvent the systems inside us, presenting a warning signal of pain, showing the points we need to change, where all we have to do is ask the question (to self), ‘what’s wrong with me, what am I missing’, and rest assured you’ll get the answer, and learn what it means to really trust self.

Interesting how pain is more healthy than bad for us, where at least you know when to go see the doctor (for what it’s worth), where the more it hurts, means the more we’ve suppressed the subtle nuances that was presented as aches, to now being possessed by a full on dis-ease, and need meds to attend to what’s ailing me, claiming I need to be fixed instead of fixing me, so run to the doctor to be propped up, but imagine (if you will) there was No warning signals at all and would see people just dropping on the floor in the mall, would we then stop and take notice of our Self’s well-being and support, which is actually the Flesh residing under our skin that supports each one equally as life in fact, a singularity manifested into life in fact, and the skeleton bone structure connects to the earth that grows with the earth as the earth manifest, that’s how we get taller, then deteriorate fast, from not listening to the self of our bodies in the past, but allowing our minds to long for leaving it here, and so disconnect ourselves from the Self that’s been Here.

Throughout my life I’ve been living as a selfless Self, and ‘Oh Boy’ what a selfish me, when the self of me I couldn’t see, and for the like of me I couldn’t be, and the rest of me lacked the recipe, to question me for the self I was, and all the above is my-self opening up with statements adjacent to what I perpetuated, instead of seeing things in reverse, in utilizing selfishness as a point of getting to know who self is, I created the worst self ever and called this being me.

To be continued…

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Day 829: Anticipation ( Another Perspective)

An addon from day 452: Anticipation

And tag you’re it, gifted by the idea that we can for see things coming, and so build up a defense against a possibility, with the belief that “I think ten steps ahead of you”, and so head into the unknown with expectations of what we thought to be an absolute is true, that salutes the failure we then experience, then tell ourselves, “But I thought I had all possibilities covered, when in fact what we did was to cover up the reality of things, around what we anticipated.

Future thinkers are idealist with no preparation of what the future may hold, and so walk into the future unprepared for what unfolds, which is the biggest flaw I participated in, standing within the word anticipation with NO Patience to put the work in ‘Now’, for a brighter future tomorrow, landing myself in unspeakable positions, wishing things could be easier or could have been different, where anticipation is (Yes) participation in the mind and not in reality, where casually we allow the rush of things to constantly deter us from seeing the bigger picture, that tomorrow is always a representation of what we do/say participate in today, and what we do today sticks in the minds of others tomorrow, that’s why it’s best to check the steps we take when concocting our mouths in a certain way, to say what we do, that does something to other, when all the while sitting back anticipating a reprisal.

Time really doesn’t heal wombs, none physical, but the physical remember all inflictions of the mind, and the mind have no problem anticipating our demise, as we gracefully walk into it ‘thinking ahead’, instead of being right here in every moment owning it = that’s anti productive to the mind, that like to play out extreme worst case scenario in merry go round fashion, separating us from one another into acts of anticipating your next move, because I too have done the same thing I think you’re trying to do, which for most part may not be the case, in which case all we’re doing is trying to anticipate fate.

I don’t want to leave or cross over because I’ve crossed my fingers in life too much, and now looking for the holy grail to keep me well and staying alive, but resist what it really means to be alive and live life well, where we can’t anticipate the line drawn – that’s when we close our eye without waking up HERE first, where before we leave it’s a need to take responsibility and clean up the mess made by each one of us individually, and critically look at the patterns I exist as, and permanently purify the reality we live in.

So how can I use Anticipation in a constructive way, recognizing the patterns I exist as and the habits I’ve engrained within and as me, that engines the behavior I perpetuate, stemming from the thought I follow around in my mind, upon correction, seeing these things is like looking down a road I’ve been down before, and so can use anticipation as a point of seeing/knowing the outcome and consequences ahead of time, to stop my participation within it and so walk the correction/commitment statements I’ve made to these infractions.

In fact we can see things before they happen, that’s why we say I knew it, that’s old news to us, when manifesting our own demise, lied to by the mind to lay down and don’t do nothing, is something we can surely anticipate, by taking the steps to correct our mistake, so from here no further will I wait any longer to change my fate, as I am a work in progress.

Thanks for reading.

Day 828: The Following Perspective

Scared to go into something alone, we say “You lead and I’ll follow”, that’s good for tunnel rats and Daredevils alike, in spite of knowing something could happen, we dream of being the first one through a maze of conflict, drafting behind another until they slip up or crash, then pass them by with our foot on the gas, like that’s not my problem they created it for themselves, not considering that our push behind them may have had everything to do with it, but rest easy in sigh that it missed me ‘this time’, until the time comes around when it happen to us.

The point of peer pressure is also a following perspective (on either end), we’ll follow in order to get next to the person in question, where the person in question may be too scared to do it themselves, until we take the lead role and do it for them, judgement is a rug that’s laid down before you, where If you don’t do it they’ll cut you off and call you names while cutting you off, and tell everybody how you’re so soft, when all the while this is all about me, as them who talk a lot and don’t saying nothing, just fuss about how I’m disgusted with life, that blinds one from seeing what Life really have to offer, when offering up the characters we’ve existed as for so long, in exchange for Life Awareness, that all I’m following is me, so the pressure we think we experience from peers is just a cover of blame in the seeking of attention, and the seeking of attention is the suppression of our expression, just to follow being liked by another human being.

The best leader are those who followed and understood, that following is not the walk behind but right alongside, and right alongside helps to cover more space, showing that on some levels we all have the same capabilities, and with these capabilities each fellow man plays their own part, in sweeping through the Minefield of the Mind disconnecting one another, where in a sense we’re led to follow in order to do the same for others, as others in our lives have done the same for us, the simplicity of the 1+1 equation is the best way to uncover each one’s potential that’s smothered up in the ‘follow’, allowing all to lead a fulfilling life that’s mellow, because I’ve messed with ‘to changing the preprogramming I exist as, which make the ‘following’ a cool changing experience, when following in the sense of learning from my mistakes, then take those miss take and do self-correction, that would show how the following could be a cool lesson.

The interesting thing about following is the work in between, where I can get to where you are but have to put in work to get there, because most of the time we take the follow in the sense of things being done for us, instead of seeing and duplicating with our own points of investigation what’s being shown, while taking suggestions every step of the way, resistance may set in that requires a reset to our way of looking at it, to effectively walk the path of those who’ve gone before us, and so become the for goers to assist and support other, until all the sins of the fathers have been corrected and taken responsibility for.

Now the backtrack aspect start when sitting on a lap, to being able to walk, then running amuck, to following a prominent figure around everywhere they went, learning to soak up information and create a personality from it, where sadly for most the ‘following’ was “Do what I say and not what I do”, and when some didn’t, would get punished for it, but all that aside our ‘follow’ was tarnished, that varnished every step we took from there on out with fear, into growing up, blindly accepting what we we’re told to do, into creating laws telling people what they should and shouldn’t do, and if you did it you’ll get praised for being a good follower, that so made the ‘following’ into a reward system.

But interesting the reward you get from learning about self and from learning about the mind and how to direct self, that would lead oneself into untapped potential and simply help purify “The Following Perspective”. HERE is how.

Thanks for reading.

Day 827: A Compromising Correction

OK I’m back so, open my eyes and see the correction to make, along with the core of Self that’s filled with compromise, in the sense of internal integral parts all working together, where a piece of me may function in one way that serves purpose for another part/piece of me (organs) to do its job, showing both in agreeance with one another = Constructive Promises, but in human interaction;

The agreeance of always saying the words ‘Correct/Correct/Correct’ or ‘Yes/Yes/Yes’ when someone is telling you something, that you may not know too much about, leaves little room for expansion, because no real questions are asked, and so companion oneself to the point of compromise, in our minds eyes away from detailing the integration to what’s being said, that allows for being on the same page when questions are asked, especially when the pack is all working together, doing what’s best for all, and what’s best for all is learning how to correct oneself, through promising one another to stand equal to and one with each other, assisting and supporting self as a whole, which makes the statement ‘each one teach one’ an absolute.

Another interesting point is, when making a promise to someone, then realizing before its acted on, said and done to be a point of compromise, (by the promiser), one holds you to statement, don’t make promises you can’t keep, then ask for a signature hand shake to seal the deal, locking you into a point of demise, and now one can’t go back on what we said, where on the other hand, if it’s explained as to why one can’t follow through, would probably be more acceptable than just leaving it be, because most of the time we fear the reprisal of what could happen, so would rather walk away for the relationship so it won’t happen, putting another notch on our belt for the long list of failed relationships we’ve had with others, and so live the sabotage before the relationship flourish, that nourishes our Ego with the point of compromise and lie to our self, I’m doing it for the right reason.

I mean this is just a perspective of the ever so compromising me, the good and the bad, and other things that I see in my world and reality, that casually changes one way or the other, and at times smothers the commitments to life we’ve already made, thing is not to take it hard and encage ourselves, because the commitments are still here, waiting to be stepped into and lived, but in the midst have to walk through points of despair of how we’ve prepared this reality to fail, that takes moment to compromise to at times to stay afloat, and nope that doesn’t exempt anyone from this reality, we’ve all have experienced a compromising thing and can tell you a thing or two about our compromising way. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how the point of compromise can be a constructive thing, when done with a starting point of changing me, knowing that I live in a world where we have to do things in order to survive, that may not jive with our point of stand, that’s where self-honesty vs honesty comes into play, am I looking at things from a self-honest starting point, instead of the trues of manipulation, that may stop one from living well, and having means to help others as well, because at times we need all we can get.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand my internal points of compromise in my mind, accepting things the way they are presented, that instead of asking questions, I would say Correct/Correct/Correct and Yes/Yes/Yes, would stop me from expanding my awareness of Self, in the reality I’ve created for me to experience, that I built off of compromise, then wonder why things are not working out correctly, and so step knee deep into the point of despair and have to pull myself back away from wanting to give up.

Not going to happen, in no way shape or form, that’s easier said then done, but a will I will do, where I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the point of ‘Willing’ within compromise, where if there’s a willing to do something in chase of energy, and not just a have to, the point of compromise is then compromise, by the energy we would receive from getting ahead, but more than willing, if I am correcting myself through the consequences I walk, the consequence to this is making a way to get back to the commitments I’ve made.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have built a life I’ve lived off of compromise, and so surprised myself with the consequences I’ve faced, in awareness now of the consequences we face if change is not enacted, with the point of resettling inside myself and resetting up my life with a corrected starting point, as change is often times needed to expand our self-development, and develop more ways to live a fulfilling life, where taking the first step into our utmost potential, is a well warranted compromise to the way we used to live, so the coming promises I’ve made to myself are the correction and commitments in actions that I walk, to no longer accept and allow myself to separate myself within and from the point and word of Compromise itself.

Thanks for reading.

Day 826: A ‘Compromise’ Perspective

Close my eyes and promise that I won’t come back to this point again, but when again comes back around, we find ourselves standing there, staring at the precipice of compromise, thinking I have no choice but to do it again and take it personal for being the person that placed self in a position of compromise in the first place, even ever so subtle moments that can go unnoticed, a quick moment of reaction is the same as being in a full on mind possession with a massive reaction, it’s all the point of compromise, that lies right next to the idea that I’m going to be alright, when doing this, that or the other, and although one may have to, the move pass is filled with regrets in a way, that I made a bet with myself to get ahead, not realizing ahead was already the state that I was in.

The things we do to get ahead or stay ahead or just to survive, may at times be filled with compromise, like we wouldn’t normally do that, but sense we’re situated in this position what choice do I have, I may have a business to run or a few mouths to feed and need every little bit I can get, but don’t take it personally it may be for emergency purposes, that I know most of us have been there before, and for the most part never want to experience that again, but when one is standing up from within the mind, we have to walk through consequences, where the use of compromise can be seen as constructive instead of destructive, if the promise comes in with a starting point of change, where correction is the engine that accelerates the change when coming to grip with, this is not who I really am, but live in a world that don’t accept us for who we really are, and spares with the process we’re walking, that’s not an easy feat by any means, especially when the feet are walking alone, with every step compromising any opportunity for assistance and support.

Believe it or not, we are all rebels that want to rebel against the mind, but to fight the mind is asinine and useless that gives it power, finding ourselves powerless with the belief that we’re useless, every time we do so, and every time we do so, it’s another point of compromise and with these point of compromise we create our reality and world in subservience to the mind, that serves no purpose but to diminish life, but life is the rebel in fact that will always be here, no matter what we do to it, it remains unwavering, even when we’re gone it remains absolute, that’s why it’s best to become life while we’re here, that would show our promise to changing the system and so standing up for life in every way possible.

An obstacle of conjecture is survival of the fittest, and the first thing that comes up is how big ones muscles is, and with our muscle meat for brains, we try and muscle our way around, the point of taking responsibility for what we’ve done, with compromising our existence and every one within it, by separating ourselves from one another in self-interest, each one claiming our own religion of self, that you better follow me or I’m not going to help you out, that give power to the few, while the rest of us stay weary and weak, thinking we need to be helped out that’s a point of self-defeat, and so fall for not helping ourselves up and into a position, that would no longer compromise our way of living.

The interesting thing I find about compromise is, in whose eye am I looking to please me, when it’s us who can only live our own lives, and show life that we’re able to be trusted with it, that starts with learning how to trust oneself, when telling you that this is what you need to do to get to the next point, that we disregard in compromise of our evolution, when the solution may not be what we want to see or do, but need to do to maintain our survival, that may at times rival with the process we’re walking, so in the next post I’ll bring forth my points of correction.

Be right back…

Day 825: Articulation (Perspective)

Tickling the senses in art of how one describes something with words, that houses energy in manipulating fashion, fastens one into acceptance of what’s being said, especially when what’s being talked about is not directly lived by the conjurer, good for the listener/reader or best for all in any way.

The simplicity comes in when what rolls off ones tongue is a ton of support that has supported the presenter alike, amidst a challenging point, that’s now accounted for with responsibility taken when sharing a realization that’s been walked through, or walked to a point of sharing from beforehand, how one got to this point through vocalization/speaking or the words we write, in spite of any differences of resistances we may have, it all comes to head when one takes a lead role in ‘Knowing the Words we Speak’.

For each there’s little tweaks and differences that signatures the context in which one is sharing the expression of one’s own Articulation, awesomely situated to know that came from you and cool that I can see it more clear when looking at the truth of you behind it, that shows not only in ones writing/speaking, but in ones actions as well, I mean we’re all well done when vulnerably sharing and correcting ourselves, it’s well worth it and worth it if practiced and lived well.

Indicative of the past, living in pastures of bliss, ignoring any well-spoken activist who I thought was better off than I was, I escaped the learning curve of articulation through introversion, and slurred speech, the words didn’t seem to come out right or how I wanted them to, so I didn’t speak, and didn’t realize it takes practice to make this particular want into a reality, that called for my participation in many conversations that would teach me how to articulate correctly, in accepting the words I chose within and as me as me, and through time I begin to mesh my way into speaking effectively. ‘But’

“Why do you speak so soft”, (For the Big Fella you are) is the most prolific line that was mirrored back to me (most of the time), with the capacity to speak distinct, I chose the speaker box setting when responding to others trying to get my point across, not that I was scared, but a fear point in fact, engrained so deep that tippy toes around my convictions and stayed convicted to my beliefs back then, and all the other things that I didn’t even mention, not wanting to awaken a reaction in others was my pass time, thinking it’s a good time to be on their side, because conflict would just tick me off into a world wind, and blow away any chances I had with connecting with them. You see because I paid too much attention in thoughts of conflict, my lips seemed as if they had weights on them, that took a stuttering step before I babbled somethings, and when I babbled, I got stuck at the beginning of each word.

The absurdity was me making things up as I went, and would go on this big spill about something that wasn’t, and would end each sentence with “I know what I’m talking about”, that should be a red flag when someone says, they know what they’re talking about, that’s a knowing of seeing through the eyes of the mind, that time and time again whisk us away from reality, to live lackadaisically in a world of pretty pictures and with these pictures we create the worst world of words.

But pretty words that creates a picture in ones own mind with the illusion of grandeur, is the band stand of the mind that gives one front row seats to the sideshow, that holds one into position while mining us for energy, to feeling depleted and wanting to fall asleep, and may fall asleep when a school teacher speak, that’s why most don’t like school because of the way it’s articulated, where we all walk in and get treated like sheep, and think the world should participate in this curriculum, that so placed this world into its current position, and position ourselves into a 3D reality, thinking that we’re touching one another outside of ourselves, instead of realize the self we touch is really us Therefore;

Speech is important and a vital part of our communication and communication is important and a vital part of our lives, but you don’t have to be a speech therapist to be aware of life, meaning the life within every word we choose to redefine, that fits well with the life we choose to live, if the life we choose to live is what’s best for all, so to learn the words we speak is the articulation of self, and to share the self of self we would like to interact with, is the Articulation of a well created life.

Thanks for reading.

Day 824: Participation ( A Perspective)

Or, Part-This-In-Patience, meaning before you say something know what you’re talking about, as a note to every-Self (that’s me) that likes to speak on that in which we’re learning, instead of what we’ve learned, tried, tested and true through investigation, which brings up the point of, ‘If the shoe fits, wear it’, then speak about how comfy it is, which makes the knowledge within it/ about it, something that’s lived, that way when we have our slipups and falls, we’re not held to the words we held high, in blast of others, that attended to our seeking for acceptance or praise in some form.

A thing I realized about participation is that it’s more than just reciting from a script of information and giving ones point of view with the claim, “I got it, what about you”, that in a way separates us from the information, when stating “What about you”, in the form of ‘Most People, Them or They, instead of adding oneself to the equation by way of ‘I/We/Us’ in cahoots with one another/as all, meaning we all have done, faced similar or the same points at different times throughout our lives, so why talk about what they’ve done when we’ve possibly done the same, and if we haven’t why speak about it at all. And although we may have it, a constant refinement to what we have, may be the refreshment that’s needed to bring back to self, our reasoning for making the commitment to stand in as part of the whole, one and equal, when the whole as us individually can’t stand ourselves, effective participation allows for that, more than just Partici-pacing. (I’ll come back to that).

For me listening is a vital part of participation, especially when the blueprints to understanding self is given, oddly enough be anyone in our world we come in contact with, I mean I exempt no one from telling me something, whatever they have to say can be used in a constructive way when listening unconditionally, and constructively criticizing what I’m thinking, (that comes up when they’re speaking), is a level of self-participation like none other, that’s smothered in self-regard, so when one is not speaking, (in a setting with others) doesn’t always means there’s a lack of interest, but more so a self-fulfillment in some cases, patiently awaiting to learn more ways of how to part ways with my old ways, by way of applying what I’ve heard, then share how I’ve done it.

Then you have what I call Partici-pacing, where I want to see what you see, so I share what I see in what I heard from you and put my own spin of it, and call this being faced and/or applied in my own life, without hearing/understanding the full context of what’s being/have been said, then when context is given, I’ve magically faced that too, but a shot in the dark, being that you can’t tell a person what they do or don’t know/have or haven’t faced/done or haven’t done, but they can, where within Lies the honesty point that we have to face within ourselves, self-honestly, when at times the shut up should be the commercial for listening, and listening should be the key to participation, and participation should be the effectiveness of change, and change is what we’re all busy walking, so why pace around what we want to know, instead of sharing about what we’ve walked now. I am a work in progress.

Thanks for reading.