Day 766: Coercion (Perspective)

A thought of convenience, convincing oneself or another that it’s ok to do one thing or another, that may not be in the best interest of you both, but needed at times when one sees what the other don’t, and so used as a point of assistance, in uncovering the path that leads down the road of no return.

But mostly used as a seconding to not be question about the reckoning that’s about to take place, from one’s own mistakes, but quick to call the person that’s being coerced, the second in command, that supposed to stand in the place of you, when you get pinched to finish out your spiteful intents.

Reckoning in the sense of what’s going to happen when the damage is done and all the perceived fun you had, becomes but a dumb idea and a passing fad, then get mad that you didn’t get away with it, in a physical sense, that easily becomes a mental point of suspense, when the sense we use is not common.

Let me explain, interesting how we coerce ourselves into feeling sad and ashamed, when things don’t go our way, but let an interesting occurrence happen in the next moment, and watch the frown turn into a happy face, that erases the sadness and replace the hate, and leave it unchanged as a common mistake.

Manipulation is the main play of coercion, a premeditated spoken language that nobody deserves, but pre-rehearsed and inserted into the minds of humanity, that makes it humanly possible to be mind controlled and managed, into living life as survival, as our primary point of existing, then come up with words like care – less and Longsuffering, that’s useless if you ask me to suffer a long time, but I’m supposed to be fine with just doing my time, and living out my life constantly falling behind, I mean should it be a crime to repeat the same mistake twice, and fight against what we really know is right and the right thing to do, outside of all the spite, and self – awareness of Life that hasn’t been reached yet?

Given all away during a moment of regret, the checking in to see if there is something to correct, and introspect the concept of coercion in itself, to learning to be frank, candid and honest with yourself, and to know thyself enough to trust thyself and not the thoughts that’s running ramped in my mind, take a moment to confront thyself, to see what you will inevitably uncover and find, with;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a core problem within myself, by believing what sounds good at the time, in my mind, that all is fine in the state I’m in, the manipulated experience of me, manufactured to believe I have a right to feel happy or sad, but mostly sad that my rights are always wrong. Coercion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wanted others to go along with my own self-interest, so coerced them into it, to not be the only one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe I need a seconding, as a point of justification, to justify to myself, this manipulation is ok, which make things premeditated, like coercing others to not like one another, because (I let them) “they all hurt my feelings”, that has a long list of consequences that’s soon to follow, while closed off to the fact coercion is bound to do that, and just so happen the same done to me, and didn’t see how I would end up in the same place and way.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize how delusional one could become, about the true state of things, when believing the point of comfortability is within the thoughts I think, eluding the fact that I just coerced myself and made it worst, by living in this state of belief, where there’s more work to be done in this process of releasing myself from being coerced by me.

And so here I stand in the process at hand of living the words ‘Frank and ‘Honesty towards/with myself.

Thanks for reading.

Advertisements

Day 765: What is a Goal

A score keeping of sort, a reaching of levels in the process of self-expansion, and once reached, more should be set in place, or else limitation sets in to confine one into a space/time and place of comfortability, unable to maximize on one’s utmost potential, and even then, there’s more to be done.

A point of fun if you have them, but if you don’t, frivolousness is the play, as it seems to be, walking our days with no set direction and when asked the question; “What is your goals” a blankness comes up, to being frustrated and angry at the one asking the question (as I have experienced), and excuse it in saying, ‘I’m taking it as it comes’, which doesn’t always work out, but work in conjunction with the perceived fun of doing what I want to do, then restate the question back to them, stating “What about you”, that suppresses the point one is trying to make, or lesson to be learned and taken into consideration to change our ways, no matter who’s asking the question, it should be heeded as a point to start taking direction, (if you haven’t already).

A step towards having a directive point of You, something that I can do and see for me, by my own direction and you for you, where in actuality it’s an attainment, of training oneself to keep breaking through the barriers we’ve place on ourselves, of giving up or giving in when it seem to take a long time to get to where we’re heading, because of the perceive idea that goals are something far off, out there somewhere, like the government or education system, that should be here with us, in governing and educating ourselves – the ability to reach our goals.

Truth be told, we all follow until we know better, but for some of us, still choose to follow because ‘it’s just feels better that way’, and so become a copy of the goalie that came before us, i.e. our parents/mentors, that leave a sore taste in our mouths when seeing others in our world expanding and we’re not, never asking the question, ‘how did you achieve that’, that would probably be met with an openness and respect from the one you’ve asked the question to, that wanted to say something, but didn’t know how you would take it, and so waited to be asked, a good friend that is.

Lol, interesting how you learn a lot when you don’t have nothing/broke/poor, that you once had now gone temporarily for you to learn something, but only after taking / accepting responsibility for one’s own self-positioning placement at any given point in time, that takes time to walk through, and goals set at different point to get to, through and throughout the process you’re walking, in rebuilding a house built on solid rock, a solid foundation of self-trust and self-honesty, that takes perseverance and consistency, to pull off the accumulated layer of self-sabotage and self-compromise in our relationship to other and the time it took us to build it.

A lifetime of inconsistency, in consistent with a reality that was not best for me, and so not best for all, that I failed to set goals for, thinking time will just roll over and be the cure to everything, but didn’t realize how it would be the cure to me seeing myself in freeze frame moment of disowning my own life for a moment of plagiarism, in playing with somebody else’s ideas and making it my own, simply put, it was never my own goals.

A bold point of vulnerability that need to be realized by all, that all can individually set goals that’s best for all, as a collective and respectively share them with all, so all can grow/expand/develop into the utmost potential of self and this reality and aggressively get along with one another, passively and passionately, expressing our passion to life, together with all and life, that I now realize what a goal is, and for, as the ultimate Goal. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the gift and importance of setting substantial goals at different points/positions and locations in my life, in the constant self-expansion of me, on the journey to reaching my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be/become a goal keeper to substantiate my life exponentially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought, long term goals are too far off in the distance to reach, instead of reaching for the star in me, to expedite my process of getting to and living change, because of the goals I set.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have let my goals change with the wind, whenever I get a spurt of energy to do something else that I see others are doing, making different fascist of my life incomplete, to completely giving up on the initial long-term goals I set, for the making of short bets, that only last for a moment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to walk through each and every moment, leading up to a long-term goal with clarity, to see clearly that what I am moving towards is the best for me and my future, but instead let myself be distracted with the fascination of rushing/chasing after a good life – accept creating one and walking into it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize that a goal can also be a point of reflection, in looking back at where I’ve been, to where I am now and keep moving onto the next goal, into the image of change I envision myself to be, that starts with setting goals for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adapt to the goalie mindset of my parents, (that’s all they knew) which got me to a certain point in my life, but didn’t realize until late, that I could restructure the way I can protect my goals, by remaining steadfast in the principles I live, but to simply set the goal first that’s practical and not astronomical, and to keep the promise of commitments I make.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize that goals are also like short breaks, breaks between the past, present and future, but in the sense of break-throughs – with strength, determination and will power, to push passed the resistance of the mind and onto the next stages of process, in my progression of answering the question ‘What is a Goal’ really.

I commit myself to standing equal to and one with the goals I set and no longer accept and allow myself to give up on them, meaning to walk to, towards, through and with the goals I set, on the journey to reach my utmost potential.

Try it out for yourself.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org

Day 764: Puzzled Piece, to Piecing the Puzzle Together (Perspective)

Circulating occurrences of things happening for seemingly no reason at all, that’s noticed when realizing one had to fall, to be shown something about the way one participated within things, in past interactions in a state of confusion, and choosing to stay in that state for a while, because in the past we lacked the correction so now, we’re stuck within the comfortability of separation from Self, where our only form of interaction is touching our Self.

I mean who would have thought that you can talk to yourself and ask yourself questions and get a response, but not in a tone of voice or internal conversation, but a slow paced movement that presses against your flesh, like putting in a request it all takes time, to learn the difference between the physical and the mind, but if you told someone this they’ll look at you puzzled, and remain muzzled until you explain it to them again. So, in simpler terms;

The Google platform makes it easy for you to type in and word the exact question from your mind that you’re looking for, into a search bar and receive the answer/suggestion or facsimile thereof, that you requested, (oddly enough) as a form of investigating your thoughts/what comes up in your head, to fulfill your curiosity/satisfy your self-interest and possibly answer the question you’ve asked, in the seeking of what you’re looking for, but interesting how this hasn’t always been as such, where once upon a time, in neighborhood around the world, kids never left their blocks, let alone their city, and anything outside of that was but a puzzle waiting to be pieced together, starting with one’s own imagination, I mean we only believed what we were told and read through Newspaper articles and heard on the radio that made the world a very big and scary place.

Where the answers we had was handed down from generation to generation with no self-investigation before implementation, propaganda and secrets was own by the free masons, who made it their point to keep us complacent, and the life within the family was only brought out on Vacation, and the rest of the time was a hurry up and waiting, where the whole of humanity became very impatient and over a period of time created this blankness.

Instead of seeing that we’re all pieces of the same puzzle of uniqueness, became a puzzled piece in seek of coming together, but with a divide and conquer strategy that only created tragedy and drastically reduced the population we’re in, claiming it’s not enough space or food to survive in a place that all of existence now fit in, where even if you die you come right back here, but on the other side just to realize the mess we’re in.

Now that we’re seeing all the pieces, it’s time to piece them together to see where I/you/we all fit in, and the best way to do that is to look at what we’ve done individually and collectively from a different point of vi-ew, that shows we-individually invited a space between each piece of ourselves as you and me, that’s not really at all a space in between, but a covered up connection line from you to me, meaning, if I have a problem and in search for a solution, the solution may not be to Google, but to connect two pieces of the same puzzle together, that’s you and that’s me and whomever else is needed, for assistance to assist me in the work to my resolve and resolve whatever the situation at hand, and that’s how a network is supposed to work, in the connection of every single Living thing, human being and organism.

The same network I also have with myself in piecing my life back together again, the same with you piecing your life back together again, that starts with asking Your-Self one simple question, “How do I get to know who I/you really are”, in a moment in the mirror, that you’ll be surprised at what you come up with, and from there you start Piecing the Puzzle (Of Self) Together.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org

Day 763: Conversations are Changing

From wonderment to a wonderful lie about them/they and those people and what they did in my observation or what I heard in the wind, that keeps the adjacent party interested in listening and conversing the same back to you, is what some may call dinner talk, over a meal or in the midst of having a thrill at a gathering that’s pleasuring when supplements are involved, giving one an energy boost with a portion of “I Don’t care” in it, because I’m feeling myself, or better yet accepting the feeling the mind has presenting to me, in a cloak of happiness, I mean we’re happiest when conversations goes our way, and even when they don’t we’re still happy anyway.

Human beings are like sponge Bobs and Bernice’s, soaking up what we heard to be used in the next moment and make it our own knowledge and information pieces, to be said in the next conversation we have with “someone we can talk to”, shunning any realization we may have about ourselves and/or what we see that needs to change about the way we are, as humanity, in this reality.

Interesting how we have a love hate relationship with conflict, where we can’t wait to talk about it, but hate to be the one in it, unless we got the upper hand, then man does it feels great, but for Christ sakes it’s a wonder how we can be so fake towards one another without realizing the mistake we’re making, for the simple fact that the same person we’re talking about is the same person we’ll face later on, and in some cases feel bad about what we said, then look for fault in what they say, to justify what we said about them, in a conversation with others, something has to change

They used to say get out the room when you see grown folk talking, that’s because the grown folks were talking about one another and don’t want you to get wind of what they said, about your best friend’s mom or dad and what they did, because kid have an innate sense to show the nature of their parents ways, and tell on their parents thinking it’s ok, that’s why parents used to beat the silence into their kid in those days, and pray to God that their secrets don’t come out that way, and for most part they didn’t.

But nowadays those same kids are the one’s changing existence, with changed conversation, in asking more questions and people are listening while others are whispering, talking about how they feel something is missing, but can’t quite pin point it and leave it at that, and end up saying no one knows about that, then turn right back around and answer the same question asked, and say to oneself, “I just realized that”…

I mean, conversations are changing with less of a blind acceptance, but more of a perspective point of view, that’s my perceptions, being that, way back in the beginning stages of walking my process, I started taking notice of things, and one of those thing were other people’s conversations, and so start noticing a pattern of them gossip about other people, (as I once did and thought I was the only one) lol, where yes I saw how I would do the same and so began correcting myself to change this, and thought this was only with those of us walking the same process.

Thing is, even with people in my immediate environment, just 2 years ago, there conversation was as such, but interesting how the other day I was invited to a birthday party with the same people, and hadn’t talked to them in quite some time, and when I got there, they were spread out in different group around the park and as I went to each group to say my hello’s, each group I went to was all talking about life in different ways, and the changing times, with some sharing their realizations and experiences, which was News to my ears and cool to hear, I mean there was nothing I could say but just listen and enjoy and that’s what I did, and saw how others in their own ways, in their own locations and positions, in their own processes are taking steps forward, in changing the way they converse with one another, which was a cool realization for me and motivating to see, to keep doing what I am in walking my own process of changing me.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org

Day 762: Invest in You

The desolate longing for acceptance, what you may not see in you, others will invest in, no matter if it makes them rich or not, just the time they put in says a lot, whether it’s a few seconds of interaction, a moment or a life time, you must have been worth it in somebody’s eye, that realized for a moment, you were you, at the time you couldn’t see the real you in you, that happens in an instant when we need it the most, and most of the times it’s on the edge of being broke, in the sense of having a breakdown and nowhere to go, where the belief is I’m stuck on which way to go, at a fork in the road in my mind that’s a joke, because I’ve been in this same position before, and tide the same rope around my neck, as in repeating the same problem and didn’t care less, until the problem took the air right out of my chest, all because we didn’t take time to invest in us, and in self we trust when things are going ok, but when s*** hit the fan we’re quick to run away, ‘From Me’.

Invest is the inter-chest of getting to know self (simply put) what am I good at, what do I see in me that I’m quick to give away to others, that smothers the flame inside my chest, every time I take a breath to say “I’ll help you”, that’s time away from investing in me, the same as others invest time in me/in you/in us, every time we meet new people and start new relationships with new people, we check and see if there’s any compatibility issue and if it is, it’s in comparison to them, but go out on a limb to create a relationship that works, I mean everything doesn’t have to be bad all the time, just as everything is not fine all of the time, but the time we have here now is yours and mine to do the best we can to invest in Self. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to invest more time in me, but have become to comfortable with being invested in throughout my life, in the sense of being shown my capabilities are worth my time too, not just for others to see and push me to move more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push myself to move more, then sit in the position I’ve planted myself in for and extended period of time, instead of continuing to push myself – that is the investment I need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the time others invest in me as gratitude, but only then use this to push myself more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a sense of stagnation when not pushing myself more in whichever avenue I need to go, and so waste a bit more time getting to and thru where I need to, and what I need to do, that could have been done in record time if I would have invested more time in moving me.

Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not invest more time into moving me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow a track record/pattern of waiting to be pushed in a way, when believing I need energy to move myself, as a point of praise of pat on the back, instead of patting myself on the back when getting to a point of accomplishing something, then moving on/forward to the next thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times, when seeing what needs to be done, take my time getting to it, that creates a stretch between me and what it is that needs to be done, that in the midst, I let entangle me in a web resistance, making the process (there in) that much longer for me walk through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed at times purposefully take a slower pace to get to and through things, which may seem like a good rule of thumb, but a justification to the underlying point of laziness.

Interesting how the point of self-investment is often time met with resistance, which should automatically be a flag point, saying “Ok this is an immediate must do”, that would inevitably shed light on the next move one should make, that I’m seeing right now is the point of ‘Investing in You’ (Yourself), Investing in Me (Myself), that would make any other Investments (That doesn’t always mean Money by the way), greater than any money ever earned or received, because what goes around comes back around in one way or another.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org

Day 761: Who is God

So, in a Challenge for the week, the question was asked; “What is your concept of the word God?”, that I will share my concept and real-life/time perspective about, enjoy!

Good gracious, and greatness alike, in so many ways am grateful for entering this life, that I only realized after a few times being here, and blamed it on God for putting me here, without putting me in touch with what I’m supposed to do here, so feared that I would be taken out of here, but Here I stand, learning How to be here, without being ‘elsewhere’ as a place in my mind, where it’s an eternity in one minute or a thousand years equaling one day – that it took seven day to create this existence = seven thousand years to open up my eyes, 350 billion years ago for the first time, that’s a pebble in the bucket to what is to come, in an imagination that shows no image of the future, but tell me again, why am I supposed to be scared of this?

From out of the darkness (oneness), hence we came that changed how we looked at everything, then forgot that everything equals all of Us = You stand/I stand until we all stand up, standing equal to and one with each other, in other words we are all God together as Creator, Creation and Created, but cant see ourselves as the 3 C’s of Life, because of being lost looking within the light of things, unable to see that;

The division between an Idea of yourself and who you really are, is the empty space most was taught to insert God into, and let “Him” play median between you and life, guarding access to it, where through only “Him” you would be granted access, but I couldn’t actually process the reasons why, that blind faith was a bummer to our saving grace, and never was amazed at how sweet it seemed, or that someday we’re going to see the King, that seemed like a page straight out of a story book, but real in songs and Hymnals, like Simnel’s waiting to grab you in the movie Matrix, I hated being scared and happy at the same time, where in one moment “you gone die and go to hell” and the next you’re fine, because you’re saved, all in the same church service that happened every Sunday, that kept us in check when going into Monday, where by mid-week (for most) God had left for the weekend, just to be reinstated on Sunday again. And I tell you my friend, if that’s the way God is, then I must have to change my concept of the word God.

It’s kind of odd when it’s been ingrained within me, that the man upstairs is watching everything you do, but don’t you know everything you do, that’s perpetuated by you is watched by you too, being that you see yourself doing it before you do it, but follow the man upstairs telling you to go through with it, as the voice in your head that’s evidently cool with it, and if it works out, that was definitely God, but if it don’t, somehow Satan was involved, so if God and Satan is just a change of your mind, why can’t we choose to live God all the time, I mean that’s ME, then we’ll all be fine, and find out together the possibilities of life, if all were Gods living in this Life, where no one would starve and no need for a Christ, that starts with stopping our relationship to spite, I’m sure we all would want to see that, right?, but takes correction.

Therefore the correction would be, the redefinition of the God into God as Me, but first; I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to correct my relationship to the word God, but have separated myself as inferior to it, creating an entity of it, that stands in between the idea of me and who I really am as Life and Life in itself, believing that I must go through this God entity to get to and enjoy Life and experience it (Life) as me, thinking that this is how it’s meant to be, that my life belongs to this entity, blind to the fact that I’ve allowed myself to place me Here, being that I am the Creator, Creation and Created that created me with a mind to suppress my inherit nature by creating character as the experience of me. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself see that this characterized me, is only a shell that covers/veils the real me as God equally with all, in a world of suppressed Gods looking to find ourselves whole again, as the Gods we are, Guardians of this existence that exist as one whole organism all together. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spread myself thin in separation from all as me in this one organism body of Life, that should be lived ideally to my utmost potential and tend to all life as me, equally. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the potency of ‘all as one, as me, as life’ that’s God in Fact, that if we all came together as one, would see no need for the word God, being that we would in Fact be it.

So, I commit myself to redefining the word God to that of; the embracing of all that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/perpetuate and create as me, encompassed by the correction and change therein, directing my world accordingly, to directing the world I/we live in together with all, in Oneness and Equality, doing that which is best for all, always in all ways, that doesn’t need mentioning when I silence my mind. [Note to Self-]; “Be still and Know that I Am/ (We Are) God”.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org

Day 760: I Deserve (Perspective)

The dessert of emotions that enact a feel good feeling, when saying to oneself and/or hearing from someone else the phrase “I/You deserve a break today” and think it’s ok to do so in the midst of a pressing event, stating, I’ll get back to it when I feel better, but in order to feel better, one should desire to finish whatever it is, that creates the desired deserve as the dessert of time gifted to oneself for getting through a point/project without projecting toward the prolonging of it, that’s hard met with resistance when trying to get back into it, after one has fulfill one’s desire.

The dis-honest distancing oneself from the body, stating “I deserve”, that has nothing to do with the physical, but only exacerbates what the mind feels and commands of you as Ego, is in blatant disregard to what Self, as you, as life really deserve, a chance to flourish in the expression of ones utmost potential, that we tend to put on the back burner, to serve ourselves a dinner of thoughts/feeling and emotions, with a reaction for dessert, because that’s how we choose to express ourselves, which is really not us, but a presentation of a mind we let circumvent our future, by following only what we think we deserve.

I’ve heard to follow your heart, that only pumps blood, to and unorthodox rhythm we call love and care for, that’s designed by how a person makes you feel, but for real don’t you deserve to be in control of your feelings, that don’t happen naturally, and no one can explain it, better yet no one wants to explain what we think doesn’t happen naturally, like haphazardly laughing at a disaster or catastrophe, but scream bloody blasphemy when I don’t get what I think I deserve.

The careless non-consideration of another’s weakness into mistake causes one to say; “They got what they deserved”, as if justice was being served, and what they did hadn’t crossed our mind before, and/or maybe acted out where we didn’t get caught, but in the end you will see how this was also your fault, and have to face the exacting of what you deserve, a taste of your own medicine to calm your Nerve, I mean the Nerve of you/me to be the judge of someone else, just to cover up what we’ve done in the name of somebody else, and when all else fails, this is not what anyone deserve, to be treated like a nerd in a world full of good ole boys, that only enjoy giving others what they think we deserve, that doesn’t make us exempt because we accept this dish, and only after wish we had the power to stop it.

That in which we do, accept and allow deserves correcting, without expecting things to just magically change, in which case each one deserves a chance to learn how to change, one self-positioning/placement in space and time, giving oneself space to change in time, and reconfigure the design of the patterns we lay waste in, in a mind that secretes waste to create our kids, I mean we’re always screaming “Just tell me the truth”, but when the truth comes out it like, “How dare you”, but I dare you to investigate into what you really deserve, into the things that scare you that may sound absurd, then you’ll realize that the fear of it, was only a myth and that Life has been waiting for you to walk right into it, and live it unconditionally as your utmost potential, then simply be the change you want to see in this world.

But by all means don’t hesitate to treat yourself, because at times we all need it, but forget that we do within the hustle and bustle of survival, that’s a rival to our well-being that deserves to be King or Queen for a day, or even a life time, with No subjects or patsy’s, only subject to enjoying our downtime that passes me by on a daily, that’s fine and dandy, just as long as I hand me what I really deserve, time need to become the learning curve, and turn the corner into understanding and learning me, totally and completely to living equally with all, in oneness and equality doing what’s best for all, and that in essence is what we all deserve. Therefore;

I commit myself to redefined Deserve to – that of a gift given to Self by Self, the time with Self that’s needed to get to know who Self really is, as all and everything in my world and reality – to become equal to and one with who Self really is, in this world and reality, and enjoy life as the Flesh = the recreation of my Self from ME.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org