Day 884: Don’t Want to See it (Just a Point)

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first it’s practice to deceive, but interesting how the deceit I find is an attempt to turn a blind eye towards what comes up in the mind, we somehow connect to others that has nothing to do with our thought process, but suppress the negative in what these thoughts are, wondering how is it that I attach others to the worst of what I think, where if not corrected correctly could come up when least expected, unless we purposefully blame what’s coming up on another that they can’t see but feel within their being, like direct seeing but unaware of what we’re really looking at, that I have experienced as the negative, something must be going on, then go into fear about it as if I did something wrong, suppressing the movement that moved me away from being here, until the next positive energy comes up and think I’m in the clear.

It’s fascinating how we’ll get a feeling, a chill of sorts where the hairs on the back of our neck stands up and think somebody must be talking about me, or get an itch in the palm of our hand and thing I’m about to get some money, then sit there waiting and nothing ever happens, then suppress it because we don’t want to see that it’s not real. Makes you wonder if anything we’ve ever thought about is even close to being real, I mean I’ve remained hopeful throughout my life thinking that change would just fall in my lap, as if I could take a nap and wake up a changed person, like praying to the lord ‘please take these burdens away from me’, then get off my knees thinking now I’m saved, because I begged and pleaded to some unseen entity, but what remained is the same thoughts, same feelings, same emotions, and hide the fact that I’m still the same care-actor during devotion, hoping that no one notices what’s still coming up in my mind, and so have become crafty at creating things to hide behind.

As a child growing up we looked up to people telling us what to do, and how to be and what we should do once we’re of age, I mean I became comfortable in following the beliefs of what they said, and created my life around it thinking no one can tell me anything, and when someone would try I didn’t want to see it, and so hid behind the idea of trying to embarrass another in front of others, pointing out (superficially) what I deemed as flaws in them, that I also got from growing up and being exposed in front of the church, as a protection and defense mechanism to not be put in the hot seat, but if I would’ve just looked at what they were saying I would have seen more of me, to so move forward into correcting the worst of me to bring out the best of me.

But I didn’t and now I’m sitting here writing out how I didn’t want to see it, that could have cut time off of my process by just having a look at it, because what I didn’t realize is that when having a look at what you don’t want to see, soon comes the acceptance that what I have been existing as and now become aware of still (for most part) needs correction, like I can’t correct the present by sweeping the past under the rug, and try walking into a character presentation of change that’ll make matters worse, for me, because the past is still present that’s why these unexpected thoughts continue to surface, so the dessert to it all is to correct the past first. Therefore;

What I found is that I still existed as some old patterns/habits/ways and behaviors from my past, that I didn’t want to see then and still at times not now, thinking out with the old and in with the new, leaving the past in the past, unchecked and uncorrected, and although some points have been walked, there’s still a lot of memories left, and wonder why the same s*** keeps coming up in my mind, it’s because before letting things go unconditionally, I hadn’t embraced it as a part of me/pieces of me that I continue to let float around in the back of my mind, waiting to be triggered by an idea/picture or perception of another, or even a smell can possibly trigger old thoughts/memories to come up, then all hell breaks loose, in the sense of being overwhelmed by them, when all I had to do was to accept the bad and ugly also as me, to be introspected and corrected to start directing my life accordingly, and sort out what I don’t want to see that comes up from time to time, to in time express the best of me all the time = Have a look at it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed, to have paid too much attention to the things I didn’t need to see, instead of having a look at the things I don’t want to see, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have deceived myself into turning a blind eye towards what comes up in my mind, that I sometimes connect to others in my world nowadays, that really don’t have anything to do with my thought process, and so within not wanting to see it, suppress the negative of what these thoughts are about, that goes back to memories of my past I left unchecked and uncorrected, and now when they surface I attach those in my current reality to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe, that because I’m walking process I’m ok and don’t need to go back and have a look to correct what’s still coming up from my past, as some memories that I don’t want to see, with the idea that I’m already changing, in my mind, instead of changing my physical reality to being the living change in fact, by having a look at these thoughts that triggers memories of my past, to so stand within and as them, embrace them to then introspect and correct.

So, When and as I see myself not wanting to see what comes up in my mind, I attach others to for no apparent reason, and so, or be shown/mirrored through another what I still exist as and not want to see it, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand, how I still need to continue to go back and correct more memories of my past, that when coming up causes a reaction within me, as I then accept and allow my mind to randomly bring up people in my present to attach to it, not realizing how I have defined myself as the memories of my past, thinking/perceiving/believing this is still who I am (in a way), but not.

Therefore, I commit myself to the continued correction of the memories of my past, no longer accepting and allowing myself to think/perceive/believe that I’m over it, and/or some of these memories don’t need correction because look at me now, but instead to replace this idea with action, acting on any and every movement/moment of memory that comes up within and as me, so to stop it at its inception, not go into it, or bring another into it and react even more, but to look at it, embrace it, correct it and move on. [Note to Self-] How do you know that you ‘don’t want to see it’, unless you’ve already looked at it?

Thanks for reading.

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Day 883: Appreciation, The Good and Bad (Perspective)

Along with the good someone says about you, is it possible to appreciate the bad some talks about you, sought out of self-interest to make one look good, under reasons defined for their own self-recognition, which really shouldn’t have to be the case, because of being accepted by others just the way we are, that’s cool in a way how we normally are, without all the extra additive s*** we stuff in to a personality, that characters our individualism in division with others, who then may turn around and appreciate seeing you for who you are, where the “Fool me once” aspect may come into play – that’s Facing Our Own Ludicrousness before learning to change, like looking at one’s own starting point for going into things, and watching how vulnerable we are with those presenting themselves as trustworthy, and deserving of a friendship they’ve said to have fostered on their own, but one cannot spin this merry go round alone = if the appearance is appreciation but really apprehensive to the plight of another, it’s extensive the length we’ll go to to make ourselves look right, until ‘the cat is let out the bag’, could it be that things are in reverse, that doesn’t mean we should judge another for what we may have done first.

I mean it’s like a curse to suppress our own self-worth, in exchange for the insecurity that I’m not enough, which is made up in the mind right behind the words ‘shut up’, thinking what I have to say may fall on deaf ears, when all the while this is just related to fear and should appreciate what each situation is showing us, that may come in a way we least expected it, and from whom we’re gifted to have know thus far, it’s always an eye opener to see yourself in another, that un-blankets the smothering we’ve done to our expression, where you can’t blame someone for our own acceptances, we’ve allowed in our past that came around full circle, and think, is this deserving when I’m a changed person, or is this change just a dress rehearsal for what we haven’t corrected yet.

Before programming ourselves it’s rehearsed the mind states we go into, not considering the consequences we may cause upon ourselves, which is consciousness playing out the part of human nature aloud, as we proudly sit back thinking I’m quick to the punch, and rather enjoy how easy it is to beget spite with spite, thinking it’s alright because you did it to me first, as we sabotage the relationship by making things worse, and quick to walk away thinking I can’t stand this person, when it’s the personality we’re presented we can’t stand to correct, and because we can’t see it we take things personal, and purposefully hold the others feet to the fire, lying to ourselves “I don’t appreciate what you did”.

But because we’re not standing as the person in consideration, we’d rather debate in validation they don’t know what they’re talking about, instead of appreciating how we’re shown the flaws in expectations, we’d soon wait for the right time to put them in their place, and only later on realize we didn’t have to save face, about what it is we’ve chosen to miss take as a mistake, and even though it may have come be way of another, if I appreciate the uncovering of a deep seeded personality, within myself would be best for me to correct and move on, because as it was said you need all your relationships when moving forward in this process, instead of secluding myself and staying within the mess I know best.

What I realize is that it’s not really that hard to appreciate the bad of another, along with the good if my starting point brings it back to me, in the sense of investigating the things I see in another, that I too may have perpetuated to/towards others in my past, because when it all boils down to it, we bring things upon ourselves, but blame the other person for mirroring the hardness of human nature, I mean we all still exist as this hardness of human nature, that is possible to correct and become a living example, and what I mean by living example is to inaugurate a new start, of being aware of the things we come up with to say in the moment, and with how we choose to say it and to whom it may concern, should be considered the ripple effect it may cause in our ‘Worlds/War with Relationships’.

With this could it be I/we’ve been partial to appreciation, only appreciating the things that feeds our self-interested Ego, but when the Ego takes it revenge we start to feel low, instead of slowing ourselves down to see how we should appreciate both, the good and the bad shown as this would only make us stronger, where when corrected, together we stand stronger as all humanity alike, that starts with you and I putting aside the need to fight, that just so might be the light that’s talked about at the end of the tunnel, that was never reached for being so goddamn dishonest, I mean could it be that on the other side of right is common sense, but to get there we all have to stop chasing after broken promises. Therefore –

Appreciate this; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have appreciated what I wanted to, as someone being there for me in my time of “need”, and all the good things I felt that complemented me, and the compliments from others made me feel at ease, without considering I should also have a look at the other side of the equation, where with the bad, I pushed aside to give way to the point of agitation, instead of appreciating being able to see in real time, points I may have existed as and not corrected, by way of another showing me my own human nature.

Where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be partial with appreciation, only appreciating the good and disregarding the bad as something not worth my appreciation, but not to say you should just accept the bad being done unto you, as this would imply, me purposefully given into the plight of another, but to consider in appreciation what the situation is showing me, so the next time my starting point for going into things is corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been one to be quick to fall into the conflict of things, welcoming it in order to say I won on the other side, then only appreciating having the last word with more people on my side, that has sabotaged a few relationships in my life, but interesting how when this last situation that I just faced with someone came up, after the initial shock of it, instead of rushing into making a statement about my ‘rightness’, I chose to slow myself down and look at the situation from an objective point of view, along with sharing it with a few people in my world, that gave me the space needed to bring things back to self, that brought up this point of appreciation that I hadn’t looked at in this way.

So to me when appreciating what we see/face/shown and do, see being done and so express what we learned, no matter good or bad, helps in piecing myself back together into being the best version of me, and hacks many points of conflict, fear and insecurity, because I’ve taken the BLAME away from them to EMAIL BACK to Self, Self-Responsibility – That I now can use Appreciation in a constructive way for Myself, when it comes to the bad/negative problems and conflictual situation, that stops me from getting all roweled up about correctable occurrences in my life, to be able live Appreciation as my form of expression.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 882: Family + Humility

Often times we’re quick to dismiss family/family members as, they’re just like that, not considering we may be seen as the same in their eyes as well, from leaving home, away from family to only visiting every once and a while, thing is we tend to want to pick up where we left off, so if it ended in conflict, we’ll pick up with being timid, and if it ended with a happy/fun memory, that’s where we would want to pick up at with them, but interesting how if anything changes with them outside of what we once defined them as, that sort of alters our definition of them, we’re quick to think/say that’s not who you are, in exchange for impressing our certain change upon them, where in most cases, we present ourselves as having learned to the tee, all that was taught to us/forced upon us growing up, as the modality in which we should live by, that’s quite limiting I might add, and so stay within idea/perception and belief (with a few minor adjustments) of what was deemed as the norm for how we all grew up, and call this expanding ourselves.

While in the mean time the only thing that has grown is our self-interested Ego, (That I have experienced) mastered in personality and character, thinking my only responsibility was to stay within this limited point of view, but boy was I wrong. The disassociation and wanting to get away from… was eventually short lived when moving from place to place with part time friends and relationships that didn’t really mean a thing to me, because I simply didn’t have a relationship with myself, therefore everytime I would go into a relationship, it would fail, that showed in hindsight how I needed to go back and correct my initial relationships of the past, to so create a substantial one with myself first.

I mean it’s a humbling experience when you get to a point of having said all you can say to someone, under the guise that they do understand you, but don’t, where most conversations end up with blame being the name of the game, blaming the past one grew up in, to blaming the present in the position we’re currently in (that was blamed on the past), to blaming the future and the world for being a f***** up place, to giving up on one’s self for being in a f***** up space, not considering, “Hey wait a minute, how did I get to this point”, and for some, start crying claiming one misses home and our family, to getting over the sad energy by passively moving into the next happy energy experience we get ourselves into.

That’s just it, I often went from one energy experience to the next, and only when I found Desteni did I realize what I was doing, where lol the first person I was in contact with told me “When you’re ready to let go of these energy experiences we’re here for you”, and for some reason I broke down into tears in that moment, which I later on realized – showed how I had been neglecting myself on many levels, but back to the point.

Interesting how once I stared walking process, I became overzealous in wanting to share (more like tell) all my family members what I found, but from a starting point of debunking my past and/or wanting to show off, not realizing how by doing this would push them further and further away, that taught me a valuable lesson, thing was at the time I didn’t consider how I needed to rebuild a relationship with them, because as I mentioned, where I left them was how I still saw them, and so had separated myself from them and from whence I came.

Once I got to the consideration point (Of course after listening to “Friends and Family” by Alice Bailey) I then started the process of figuring me out, where I learned how my verbalization was shot in a sense, and so when communicating with others, it was all about someone else, and not a sharing about myself, with realizations I had and/or what I walked through/been through, but the things I had and can do, under the guise of having status, which states, Stay away from Us, to being all about me.

Since then I’ve slowly but surely started re-connecting back with my family, up till a recent visit I just had with a few of them, where I realized how for most part it was never really about them, but more so about me/us who choose to say “Well if they don’t reach out to me, I won’t reach out to them”, unless we unconditionally have and that’s another story, but interesting how it’s sort of a sense of relief (On both sides), when humbling oneself to being vulnerable to sharing what has happen since we departed away from each other, where they may see that, and become comfortable in doing the same, I mean all it takes is for one or the other to step up and share unconditionally, to have such a humbling experience, even if it becomes one sided, its still good for those of us that do. You may be surprised at how things may turn out for the betterment of all, when re-connecting with a family member/family.

So what I realize within the point of Family + Humility is that it helps to strengthen existing relationships in our own worlds, where a friend might be as a family member to you, that may open up a push to connect/correct with more people, because if just one of our relationships with someone is substantial, shows our ability to blueprint any relationship we choose to go into, that make for a better, more substantial relationship connection with each other, and so the world as a whole. Enjoy the process.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 881: It’s Specific (Perspective)

From the things we see when others don’t look, to what one understands another may sit on, that only becomes clear in the space of our location, where some cross reference pain, while others may see signs, in awareness of puzzling together a better life for our Self, coming from preprogramming into directing a better life for myself, is what this process is all about, whether shown through the eyes of another our ways, or ashamed at the way we constitute blame, we’re quick to come together just to drift apart, overlooking the specifics of why ‘what’ is going on, to really have a look at how we created what’s going on, if only we can get passed the abdication of responsibility.

Interesting how it takes fear for everyone to come together, but when the initial scare is over, we’re back to the same s***, like telling momma “Ok I’m sorry, I’m not going to do that again” just to bypass consequence for the present moment, but when the moment passes we grow ball again (hypothetically speaking) and want to do harm to those we think scared us most to death, as if LIFE wasn’t always present to make itself KNOWN, for its capabilities of assisting humans to wake the f*** up.

But still again we look for more pathetic ways on how to destroy human life, I mean we’re specific in thinking this life is just the game of who lives and dies, while knowing that it’s not – is the game we play, that’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt, and most of the time it’s those of us who had nothing to do with it, but doesn’t make us exempt from seeing what’s the specific in it for us, where if I’m subjected to something, I must have accepted and allowed it in a way, and need to look way deep inside to see how I created it within myself, and yes we ALL play a part in what goes on in our world, that trapped us into neglecting the specifics of what’s being done, to realizing the specifics of what life is telling/showing us, so we can specifically move into stepping ourselves up out of it. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in times specifically ignore the state that I’m in, the state of myself that I project outwards onto the world as a whole, and so as things accumulated into a consequential outflow, sit back and wonder how things have gotten to this point, in the state the world is in today, neglecting the part I played within it. And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play apart in the way the world is today, but didn’t want to see my fault in the matter.

Because, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let things accumulate in my world to the point of consequence, then look to blame someone for what I am experiencing. And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-responsibility onto another being the cause for the Negative experiences of me, while knowing how I specifically created the state that I’m in, but still choose to under mind any opportunity to change, because of being too comfortable with the way things are, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too comfortable with the way things are and so perpetuated disregard toward the specifics of things.

And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the specifics of, what to learn from/take out of what I/we all have created and experience as consequences from time to time, instead of deconstructing the problem, by backtracking it to the root cause, to create a viable solution that will last a life time, meaning looking at where in my world can I correct my behaviors and change my habits and let go of old patterns, to so stand within the starting point of “From Here No Further” no longer accepting or allowing myself to miss the specifics of what LIFE is showing for us to look at.

What I realize is that specifics are designed for each one walking each one’s own process, individually, according to our own location point, meaning which situations you deal with in your world and others in theirs, signifies the things we need to look at/sort out, correct and change to be the best versions of ourselves, which starts with our relationships to things and people as human being in our immediate environments = It’s Specific for You. And that all I got to say about that for now.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 880: My Relationship with the Word/World SCIENTIST

For those who know, I had a L.P. reading done in the recent past that brought up this word in relations to “Being like”, plus a few more Words that I’ll get to in time to come, but for now and so for me to understand the full context in which it was presented, I must dive into from whence I came, to where I’m at, to realizing the walking into and expressing with awareness the redefinition thereof the word (SCIENTIST). Enjoy!

Interesting how when looking at the word Scientist what originally came up was the definition I had when I was a child, as; someone who’ve went to school and learned biology to deal with plants and organisms and molecules and atoms, that looked through microscopes and know what they we’re looking at, as one thing, that I couldn’t possibly wrap myself around knowing or understanding where to start from, because I didn’t go to school (College) and didn’t want to go to school, because I felt that it would take too long and interrupt my Play/Exploration time with what I was doing at the time, as a kid , plus thinking I wasn’t smart enough to understand it, so couldn’t possibly be that and would get bored with it.

Then seeing how others in my world went off to college and then just came back home, I didn’t want to go back home, so used these things as an excuse to not go into something profound, like being a Scientist (or something similar) and defined it as something I couldn’t reach… but now since it came up again, those same thoughts/ideas of/ about Science/being like a Scientist brought me back to the same place as before stuck, where instead of seeing/realizing how there are different aspects of Science, such as the Science of Self and the Science of the Mind and the Science of the Process I’m walking and the actual actions of Specification that Scientist do to reach the understanding of what they’re processing to figure out (to name a few that I can do/learn), it didn’t register how I have in a way been this for myself when walking my own process, but called it something else.

So, for me to look at the current definition of Science/Scientist to see where I can Redefine it for myself to step into, (as a staring point) the living expression thereof, with the abilities I have with whatever I’m doing/learning/walking in my world = The Science of…

Therefore, let me start with the current definition: Science =

The intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment.

This as one definition, but what I find interesting it that there is multiple definitions leading to different interpretation (if you will) of the same word/world, that leads back to the same point, where in one dictionary it say’s this and in another it say’s – a systematic enterprise that builds and organizes knowledge in a testable explanation and predictions about the universe, which to me sound like the art of figuring out Preprogramming, in a sense.

But in order to understand Preprogramming one must first understand the Mind in which ‘Us’ the beings resides in our own individual bodies, that’s rarely to none looked at by Science, and when you look up “The Science of the Mind”, all you find is a book by and author proposing a Science with a new relationship between Humans and God, I mean “Let’s keep Ignorance is Bliss alive”, where in many conversation I’ve had with others/knowledge seekers, I find that most, always got to a point of saying, “It’s beyond my comprehension” and/or “Words cannot describe it”, as if to say things are unfathomable and above my head, including me too, I’ve also been one to not question what I couldn’t understand or believed that I couldn’t understand, but only believed what I was told and shown with pretty pictures or words conjectured in a way to make one want to give up after hearing them, we call that having faith or blind faith with hope, especially coming from the religious background that I grew up in, where you don’t question the “Work of the lord” so to speak and/or “God has a plan for you”, and so on and so forth.

So in that sense, to me Science was for those trying to play God, which made a Scientist one who was playing God, (in my limited view of things back then) but didn’t realize the simplicity of Science which is actually getting to know about everything that exist in its totality, with the additive of “AS ME”.

And with the point of “AS ME”, I start with myself, with what is the Science of Me, in order to become the Scientist of Self. Then get to redefining the Word Science/Scientist according to my abilities of Investigating and Introspecting myself. Where;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at the word Science/Scientist as something separate from me, outside of myself, with the belief that I wouldn’t be able to comprehension it, instead of seeing the simplicity of Science which entails getting to know everything in existence in totality and specificity, how it operates and functions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to (growing up) instead of seeing ‘The Science of…’ as everything, think/perceive/believe it to only be about one thing (in a nutshell) where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize how that one thing encapsulates many that drives this Existence and so Humanity as a whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that in order to be a Scientist you can only get that from going to college for a long period of time, instead of realizing we are all Scientist in a way, where in its most simplistic form, we’ve learn the Science of walking and talking without following any tutorial but our parents patience.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to let register (in a sense) the process I’m walking as an act of being a Scientist, in investigating/introspecting/dissecting my own words/patterns/habits/behaviors and ‘Mind’, to find out what makes me ‘Tick’, Who am I and how did I get to this point of losing touch with Self/Myself, this Body/Physical Existence and Life as a whole, to so correct my standing as all, as life as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have left it up to others as Scientist to figure LIFE out for me, as a collective to tell me what’s out there, instead of realizing for myself that it’s all right HERE within and as me to do as well, from the seen to the unseen with the naked eye, and take the good of what Science have to offer in this Existence, by way of Investigating all things and keeping that which is good, but not taking anything away from Science/Scientist because we all specialize in something, that have in a way shed light on many things hidden in plain sight in this reality, for the Betterment of Humanity, and Existence as a whole, so in a sense thank you Scientist.

Where, I (as a collective) forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that I have nothing to offer humanity and so left it up to the Systems out there to take care of me/us, instead of also taking care of Myself in a way the System cannot, being that of Correcting my/our own Human Nature, in what we think and how we treat one another, that needs No Science to – ‘Do As We Would, Like For Ourselves’.

What I now realize is that how I/we individually are seeing/understanding things that interest us to our own Self-Evolution, tried out and tested, lived and/or walked through, is the act of Science per se. Therefore, being able to break down into a timeline of sorts how I am/have been existing, to so moving into the correcting/changing aspect for the betterment of me reaching my utmost potential, is the act of Being a Scientist, that for me opens up more understanding of the word/world of Being like a SCIENTIST, the Science of Self and the Science of me, to start from. Happy Journey, as I am a work in progress. More to come…

Thanks for reading.

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Day 879: Who Are You (Perspective)

Protective layers that shields us from the elements, to being wrapped with a collage of pieces of me, separates us even further from whence we’ve came into labels and titles, ideas/perceptions and beliefs, and so speak with different understandings/viewpoints of seeing things, that’s interesting because most of the time it’s all about the same thing, I mean who are you that left an impression on another, defined as the way we now poke out our chest, where we’re the best at making a grand entrances that’s short lived by a flaw, that characters our appearance in being full of impressive thoughts, it’s the way we get attention when out trying to be somebody, but around those who know us we’re nobody special, except when we did something that made them happy, to now being asked by them “Who are you”.

When that question was posed “Who are you”, I came up with a slew of answers that’s not who I am, such as being a Producer, Martial Artist or Basketball player, and although done well, doesn’t define who I am, but what I can do as some of the abilities I have, under the guise of you can learn a lot if you put your mind to it, but within that I’ve built character around it in limitation to the more, believing that there’s only a few things I can be, where within the slogan “Be all you can be” houses the belief you have to join something to get to who you are, where in one case I joined the Marines and was classified as a “Devil Dog” and even before that in Religion I mantled being a Christian, with no idea what it really entailed, but told myself this is who I am.

For what it’s worth these things helped me to get to know the world a little better, while also pushing me further away from getting to know me, because instead of realizing who I was within these things, I let these things tell me who I am and supposed to be, and oddly enough that’s a choice we all have, and so half my life I choose to walk where I was told, but somehow knew there was/is an method to the madness, but wouldn’t figure it out unless I kept on walking.

Not to say that I’ve made it somewhere as this walk takes a lifetime in process, in progression to becoming who I really am, where along this trip I’m realizing an interesting thing, that who I am is not limited to what I think/perceive/believe, but more so what I see/hear/feel and experience in the physical as the experience of me, that’s hard to see when being told by someone, “This is who you are so just accept it”, that for most of us, all we’ve done is just accepted it, without questioning or checking in with Self first = is this really who I want to be, to so move into being more than what I perceived myself as, because life is the vastness of all that exist, and all that exist is within you and me.

Where if I take into consideration all as me, then this is who I am allowing myself to be, if I take the time to really get to know another, this is who I am allowing myself to be, if I no longer accept and allow myself to be spiteful and reactive towards others, then who I am is aligned to what I’m processing to live as me in my world, if I take the time to investigate what comes up within me, as to why and how to correct myself from within it, then who I am is on a Journey to Life, if I forgive myself for my acceptances and allowance, then who I am is equalizing myself to everything that is Here, if I no longer fear what comes up in my mind, then who I am is the living expression of what it means to be Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when asked myself the question who are you, initially not know what to say, then said everything that really wasn’t me, with labels and titles of grandeur of things I could do, without realizing how I had limited myself to thoughts/perceptions and beliefs, believing who I am is defined by what I can do, which is not the case, where I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize it’s not about what I can do, but who I am when doing these things, that’s accepting the introspection of the experience of me, to shed light on who I’m allowing myself to be, so I can ultimately get to who I really am, uninterrupted by ideals of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have followed a belief in being told this is who you are so just accept it, and so gleefully accepted it without questioning “Is this who I want to be”, and so at times walked away feeling defeated, but glad I kept walking instead of giving up.

Where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the more I stereotype myself the further I move away from who I really am, so need to focus more on getting to know me, in my world and reality internally, so that I can see how I created my external reality, to so uncover the truth of who are you/I am – When now seeing, is all life that exist as me.

And so, for me these are just a few personal points that opened up, while walking into who I really am as life, where the thriving and longing for acceptance is short lived, in exchange for changing my belief into the actual reality of who I am as life, to be lived. “Who are You”?

Thanks for reading.

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Day 878: A Breath of Fresh Air (In 2 Minutes)

While the Earth is taking a breath of fresh air, we say; “Somebody, anybody please make it stop” screams the selfishness of humanity, when having longed for separation for so long, manifested it and now since we’re so separated hate it, wishing we can go see somebody, because we never got to know our neighbors, and probably have thought bad about them or better yet did spiteful things towards them, so how could I possibly get to know them now, but that’s not what this is all about.

Sensing a sigh of relief or a light at the end of the tunnel, that stamps our coming to the end of something, to so moving into the next thing or something New, we delight for that moment, “A breath of fresh air” so to speak, the exhale, then inhale into the future unaware of the things we’re still holding on to, pushed aside and/or forgot about that needs our attention, like the way we would rather go into conflict instead of moving towards a solution, by way of correcting myself first before putting in my 2 cents, that way I don’t place myself in any precarious positions, but while breathing in hold myself stable where I’m at, sheltered in place with no one really to react to, where really our reactions was never about the other, but only projected as such because of not figuring out myself, where we now have the time to see what we’re made of, and so should take it as an opportunity to get to know me better.

The Question of choice is, what will I do with all this time on my hand, after I’d scrolled through every new feed on social media, and sitting there twiddling my thumbs waiting for a new post to drop, brings a new meaning to Stop what you’re doing and go out a smell the roses, but in this case shows there’s something we all can have a look at, which is how we’re now pushed into creating a breath of fresh air for all, where the low end jobs are Now the cream of the crop, and all the executives is saying ‘Crap’ I ain’t got no job, where shouldn’t the pay be arranged in a way as such, for the Helpers to equally get what the manipulators have, that would bring back what used to be called the middle class, or better yet create one class of responsible human-beings, in Oneness and Equality it’s obvious we can put an end to poverty, just as easily as going into fear and in one moment printing Trillions , I mean would it really hurt for every person on Earth to have a Million, and what they do with it is to their own demise, after being educated on how to survive a life time with the minimal, I think that’s fair, and that there would be the breath of fresh air that the world really needs. Wake Up!

Thanks for reading.

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