Day 775: Being Left in the Dark (Self-Forgiveness)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that it was others fault that I wasn’t aware of what was going on in my life in the past, and so believe that I was being left in the dark, when it was me who turned a blind eye to different situations in my world and in my life, not wanting to see what was being show to me in different way, until things in my life started falling apart.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dark spot for me to live in in my life, back then, hiding away from any situation that needed to be shaken up, my detailed attention, but tended to my own self-interest, thinking things would just work themselves out and found myself out of a few friends and sabotaged a few relationships I was in.

This is not to say that anyone from back then is exempt, but my point of responsibility, is to correct my fault in the matter, my participation and self-positioning placement, to not repeat the same again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how the dark serves it purpose, for me to investigate what’s going on within me, in back tracking to the root cause, why I experience myself the way I did back then, that lead to what I am experiencing in my life today as this belief.
On another note, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get to the point of realizing all that I knew was not the truth of what was really going on in this world, and so believed that I was left in the dark, without investigating for myself the truths I come to realize and was assisted to see.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, how being left in the dark, was in a way good for me, because if I wasn’t, I would probably not have moved passed the point of comfortability, staying within ignorance is bliss, which would have made my process that much harder.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the dark side in me, when I should’ve been looking at and within myself, to see these dark spots that needed correcting as in the good, bad and ugly that resides within me, good being that of the positive energetic feeling/chasing after an energetic experience, fix and rush, in the rush of things, and correct them myself, because the time I spend blaming others only created more consequences for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted an allowed myself to purposely leave myself in the dark about things I need to see/look at and correct and experience resistance toward, thinking these things will just sort themselves out, which never did, and so found myself in a poor spot in my life, to becoming emotional wondering why I didn’t take the opportunity to correct these things earlier.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push things off till later to be corrected, then when later comes, believe I have no energy to do this – but let something come up, that motivates my Ego, the energy would somehow magically come out of thin air.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait until the last moment to move myself about things that are pressing in my life, that causes me to believe that I’m being left in the dark about things, from others who see what I choose not to look at, when it’s me whose watching things crumble in front of my eyes, but don’t want to believe what I’m seeing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the crumbling effect in my life, by not wanting to see things, that was blatantly happening in my life, outside of an Egotistical point of view, until my Ego took its revenge and found myself looking from the outside in.

Interesting how we have defined anything associated with the word ‘Dark’ as something bad or evil, therefore this correct was in relations to how I had defined the word ‘Dark’ as such. In post to come I will correct my relationship to this word, but for now, thanks for reading.

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Day 774: Being Left in the Dark Pt.2

They say that you can see better in the dark, then in the light. I say turn the lights out and test it out for yourself, but not only that, the premonition that something is going on, opens the door for investigating what it is that you are, or think that you’re missing, especially when walking process, that couldn’t have came at a better time for me in my life, internally hooping an hollering around the bothersome idea that all in my life had it in for me, my friends, family and the relationship I was in, that didn’t bother to tell me what was going on that involved me, which ended up being me wanting to hear about what I perceived, instead of what did or didn’t happen then, in essence placing myself in a dark spot in my life, and blamed others/them for leaving me in the dark.

For me what opened up when questioning my life, was the resounding question of; “how did you get yourself to this point”, after the blame stop working and started working on me through the DIP Lite course, that showed me the importance of writing and taking responsibility for my participation, and point position placement in my life, where I was at, at a dark time in my life, that only being left in the dark spawned my search for answers, and so expounded more on what I had found when discovering Desteni.

It’s like the greatest gift from a curse, and so was able to see through the darkness that had immersed itself upon me and looming in the background of everything I thought myself to be, and do, you see the belief that I had, that others was at fault for not telling me things, was my fault for not investigating me, long before any problems came to be, which veil any insight I may have had shown to me, by brushing it aside, hiding behind the idea that ‘this couldn’t be’, not wanting to hear about what may have been busy taking place, and so remained in a space of ignorance is bliss, because looking back on it, I remember the person I was in a relationship with wanting to open up to me at one point, but told them they were tripping and didn’t want to hear it.

Thing is, the darkness cover/veil we place over problems and situations in our life, ends up manifesting this you believing you’re being left in the dark, then wonder why this is so, after countless amount of times jumping over the fence away from things/problems/situations we should/need to face in the moment, but don’t and won’t, like in this case, until you find yourself alone wondering why no one wants to tell you anything, because obviously we ‘cry wolf’ too many times, when others have attempted to show us the signs, that things are getting out of hand.

I mean this could apply to anything in your life you choose not to see/ look at when being shown it by anyone in your life, for any reason or another, therefore my suggestion is to embrace the dark spots we put ourselves in, that has everything to do with the belief that we’re being, or have been left in the dark, which is not really possible, because the truth of EVERYTHNG is out there, but have always been right here waiting for us to walk into it, on so many levels, and so a point of realization is to not put off what one can face today (when being shown something), thinking that you don’t want to see it, then later on believe that you’ve being left in the dark about it, and find yourself alone in a dark spot in your life, forced to investigate what’s going on with you, as it was for me, where self-forgiveness was key and instrumental to opening up my self-positioning placement, my fault in all matters concerning me, that I brushed aside and had to do with my life and the way things turned out for me. Don’t make the same mistake I did.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 773: Being Left in the Dark

Close your eyes and cover your ears, so the boogey man won’t get you, as the stork did when sticking it’s head in the sand, where he didn’t want to see, hear or even think about the danger that had behest him, thinking, just maybe, possibly it would go away, that didn’t always, to never happening, then realized once he got to the other side, “shucks” what was I afraid of, (Hypothetically speaking) Lol.

Not knowing can bring out the worst in you, until you simply immerse yourself with purpose to find out what’s making you nervous and deserve to know what you’re being left in the dark about, without realizing that it might not be in the best interest of your intentions to know or even mention to someone that you would like to know, when you really don’t, but on the other hand, when not being told by those around you, what happen with things that concern you, that they knew, but not you that could have changed the way you viewed things and decisions you made in your life, that changed your life forever more, is a hindsight headache, in hindsight thinking how big of a mistake I’ve made by not insuring everything was in its proper place and so missed out on what was pressing in the moment. Hmm, think about that for a second.

As the hours, months and years just drifted on by, stuck in the thought of ‘what was it’, back then that ‘what is it’ couldn’t answer, knowing that you was purposefully left in the dark, by those who you’ve come to know and gave up a chunk of your life for, that’s now being brushed aside, as they smile in your eyes, believing that all is forgotten, but forgiven it was and remembered it remains, but ashamed on my part for not being aware of such occurrences in my life, when seeing the signs that was evident.

Where the details of the matter don’t really matter at this point in time, but a sign it was, to be aware of every aspect of the relationships I’m in, and have, because, being left in the dark, such as what happened in this case will happen to you, if you are not aware of all who resides in your world and their true intentions.

Ignorance is bliss when the statement; “Nobody told me” comes to mind, believing that you were left in the dark on purpose, but purposefully stayed within the darkness of ignorance while seeing the signs and turning a blind eye, being that it didn’t fit your standard hard drives ‘Operating Systems’ protocol and procedures at the time, and so called it beyond your comprehension, that distracts our attention away from the comfortable front roll seat in the theater of our minds, detached away from what’s really going on. Let me explain –

The pain staking realization that all we know is not the truth, that’s backed up with facts, when seeing things in reverse, that instead of blaming ‘them’ as the problem, to look at you first, that’s I hear all the time and sounds good, saying, “I know it’s me” but doing Nothing about it, until the consequence thereof comes to the light, and might just have an epiphany about it, before wanting to fight, (being left in the dark)…

To be continued…

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Day 772: Reserve

Nothing federal about it, but fed up with the relationship I have to it, in a sense; to save and serve to yourself later’, but when later comes, nothing was held back, but held back things were in essence. Let me explain, as for me this word I’ve used/saw and viewed in different ways, reserving my own interpretations of it and judged it, that really didn’t work for me, but believed that ‘it’s working’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to taint my relationship to the word reserve, defining it according to a feeling, the way I felt when seeing/hearing/using the word, and so judge it as either something more than me or as a point of self-satisfaction, believing that it worked for me some times and other times not, according to my perception and expectations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reserve expectation to the word reserve when conceptualizing it into different aspects of my life, without realizing the disservice I was doing to myself by doing so.

Moving on –

As a master of suppression, we reserve reactions to points that should be faced in the moment, but don’t want to own up to it and correct it, in which case consequence is reserved for us, that serves its purpose when looking to change oneself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a master of suppression in reprehension of myself, when reserving (in a way) my reaction to points that I should face in the moment, but not own up to, until the consequences thereof surface from within it, and then spend time trying to rush through it, missing the point, instead of correcting it with urgency and reversing the point of suppression into progression, and so commit myself to pressing the issue immediately, when seeing things needing to be faced in the moment and do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait until the last minute to handle things/points in my life that should have been corrected a while ago, and so commit myself to real time correction, living the words ‘real time’ in Realtime, right Here and right Now, for real this time, lol.

Reservation = A seat saved just for you, if you call in enough time, so you can bypass the line, in front of everyone else whose been waiting there for hours, and could have ate already, before you got there, then walk passed them with the word in facial expression, (Specialness) written all over your forehead, because of having the money to do that, but wasn’t so long ago when you were in the back of the line to. Interesting how I’ve, been there, and perpetuated the same, at times throughout my life, but ended up back in a previous position as before, a NO body in the back of the line. And really nobody cares about a No body and probably think twice before looking your way, but hey this space is reserved for you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that I was special, that I made a reservation and got to walk to the front of the line, bypassing others who couldn’t go in because the space was reserved for me and my party, and so felt no need to correct this, but looking back at it, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself within the realm of Superiority/Inferiority from standing in the back of the line to now/then being able to bypass the line, until my lime light ran out and found myself a No body, back at the back of the line.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in this sense of the word, define ‘Reserve’ as a specialness, something of status or stature to do/have, to be seen as better than others, instead of realizing the specialness in this life is Life itself, that WE all are, but need to get back to, by way of self-correction, not separation, and commit myself to equalizing my stance towards all, when making reservation when needed, at places that only accept them, for most part.

Grow up in my time, when you acted out in public, you just knew that you had something reserved for me when you got home, and so feared the whole way there, as this knowing was insinuated by that look my parents gave me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define “Reserve” in the sense of fearing what I had waiting for me when I got home, as a child, after acting out in public, then seeing the look on my parents face that showed my for certain future, lol, instead of accepting the inevitability and surety of it being my fault, and punishment to come.

Another aspect is the point of holding my tongue, not saying what needs to be said, in moments things need to be said, as in; “if you see something say something”, but didn’t out of fear or self-interest, and excusing this as my right to reserve my tongue, especially when some things were blatantly ‘Not Right’, mums the word, along with asking question for the betterment of oneself, but choose not to, in fear of judgement, but F*** that nowadays, I need to know who I am, and so chose to correct my position towards this word, in all its facets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my tongue to not say something when seeing things that’s blatantly Not right and need to be said, and instead chose self-interest or fear over standing as a point of common sense in situations. I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to stand ideally by, in idol of my own self-interest, when seeing thing Blatantly not right, no matter who it is, I will say what needs to be said, while watching what I say.

Then you have the unspoken spiteful intent of the word, internally spoken within, the words; “Ima remember that” or “Ima get you/them back”, for what someone has done to you, and so reserve our action toward them, to be taken when they least expect it, except when you really can’t do anything about it, that still causes consequences for all parties involved, as a resolve to getting what you deserve.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word “Reserve” in back chat within the unspoken statements; “Ima remember that” or “Ima get you/them back” for what they done to me, manipulatively and so go into a premeditation sequence and sentence ourselves to the consequence that’s deserve, because of failing to take responsibility for putting myself in the situation with them in the first place, because how would it get to that point if I didn’t egg on the process, leading up to the point of extreme conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been the one to egg on a situation when interacting with others in my world, but when things turned away from my favor, became angry and frustrated in the moment, because I got bested, and so chose revenge as a reservation for/towards them, that always backed fired, because of the starting point of starting it in the first place, on my part, therefore I commit myself to, not bite off more than I can chew, in the sense of standing up for what’s best for all, and all else can just “kick rocks”, meaning Not to go down that road, it you know what’s best.

Reservoirs and Reserves for wild life and water, shows just how wild us human beings have become, greedy and despicable, empirical to take the best parts of the land for ourselves, and cordon off pieces of life in Sanctuaries from its natural place, stating ‘you’re in my space’, (that I took from you to make money), giving an exterminator a license to Kill life, in spite of coming from the same source of life we kill, but we’re ok with that.

I forgive myself that I have (as, and one of the collective) accepted and allowed myself to be ok with building Reservoirs and Reserves as a treat for wild life and water, accepting my separation away from them after ruining the land they once ran free on, to satisfy the comfortability of my own self-interest, just to be next to another greedy like-minded individual, like me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize all the while, thinking I was cordoning wild life off, (as a collective) in actuality I was boxing myself into a corner, to within that build blocks with boxes on them, to live in a box physically, and a bubble mentally, being that our own “Wild” Human Nature needs to be contained, that does no one justice, because it’s just us, Humans who needs correction and so, commit myself to continue to correct my Human nature, until Wild life and Nature can see that I can be trusted with the Life they already are.

No one is coming to save you, so why reserve taking responsibility, when it’s in our ability to respond urgently to matters of Self, in our own worlds and this world as a whole, where blame is the name of the game, that’s not a game at all, but ‘you did this to me and made me feel’, taking away from our ability to fill in the blanks, we missed from knowing all, as me as one with all as life, simply put.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the opportunity to take responsibility for myself, time and time again throughout my life, thinking that some entity was going to come and save me/us, and so reserved my ability to respond for being ‘blessed’ and ‘saved’ by a minister, but saved from what, when W-Hat is a Hat We attach to The self we have become, that shows we are literally trying to save ourselves from ourselves, but vicariously through Jesus/God/Buddha or KRISHNA.

I commit myself to no longer holding my ability to respond hostage, in hopes/wonderment/prayer for other to clean up what I’ve messed up, but instead to get up and stand up for LIFE, which includes my Life, ‘No holds barred’.

But that’s not just it, the point I’m walking at the moment, in relations to the word Reserve, is one I’m sure many have faced and/or is, will face at some point in one’s life; Having a Reserve i.e. saving, money, sending from one pocket to the other to be lock away for a raining day, used for future purposes when needed, that starts with telling myself, everytime I feel the need to buy something extra, “Remember Reserve”, that I should have done a long time ago, but can’t cry over spilled milk, so to speak, just put a top on it or close the crease’, meaning stop what I’m doing, and pay attention to WHAT I’m doing, where within the longevity of it all, I won’t end up in the same position I’m in today. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, but not realize the importance of having a reserve, not being a show case, but a space of stability, that expands our capability to maintain our well-being, in the lifestyle we’re capable of living, as a point of comfortability, to really not have to worry about s***. Therefore, I commit myself to from hence forth looking at, in consideration and act toward the longevity of things, to not recreate any longsuffering, as useless as it is, that’s for resentment, instead a lesson said to be, and no longer accept and allow myself bar myself from a comfortable future in this world, that having a Proper Reserve would bring.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 771: Hide and Seek

Or better yet Hide and Sneak, in tip toe away from the things we left hanging in the balance, unbalanced with the life we seek to live, with our heads slightly lowered, arched back and a cringe on our face, hoping that what we left won’t show its ugly face, so we can move on to that happy place, care free of worry, but it doesn’t necessarily work that way, because the bad in me is connected to our nature and as they say, let nature take its course, and it will, accompanied with life as the rectifier and source of everything, it’ll show you what it means to be in a time loop, until we uncover what’s hidden and take the time to correct it, because the truth will set you free, but only after realizing it’s me who needs correcting, and not the rest of the world, first.

So, the question was asked in a challenge; “What have you done to support yourself through the worst of yourself, hard times, let’s say the despicable natures we can live within”?

It takes the same tough skin we used to turn our backs on ourselves and others, we’ve left dealing with a problem we created for them and didn’t care, until the bad and ugly, stares us in the face, saying ‘hey I’m still here and haven’t went nowhere’ at the most unforeseen time, and as it was said, the Ego will have its revenge, and revenge it will, that reveals our true nature that slip out of turn, and have the nerve to be surprised, when all your bridges are burned, and only then we become concerned with something is wrong, and so waited too long in the scheme of things, to correct this.

For me, just in the last year, it’s be one ’Hell’ of a realization – that things needed to happen in a way for me to see the Human Nature of Self, Myself, because ‘Self’ is an Overstatement that Stands when I choose to sit in my mind, where last December I was gifted to be able to see my capabilities/the Who I really am as Life, and can be all the time, and enjoyed every moment of it, with supportive individuals whose walking the same process.

Being that I had that chance to see this potential in me, all there was to do is correct the lingering Human Nature (In the Bad and Ugly) of myself, within myself and live the change, but didn’t realize the compounding effect of accumulated consequences that would take place in my life, shortly after I got back, where Everything can to Head, I mean EVERYTHING and hard times ensued, rough patches became field of worst case scenarios in actuality, and so naturally became perplexed at what was taking place in my life, where now that I saw the ‘True’ Darkness, verses the illusion of light that I was living in, it was time to take responsibility, because I alone am responsible for My past, and you yours.

The reaching out I did for assistance, in different way, was in awareness, and so stayed on course to return the favor until things changed within the industry I’m in, that created a “Controlled” spiraling affect of things going downhill, “Controlled”, because now (unlike the past), I have the tool to keep me stable within the continuation and duration of walking through what I’m going through, which I can say is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in my life, and not an easy feat by any means. (No Sympathy Needed, that pathetic), thing is with Self-Forgiveness being my stabilizing factor, the pressure I face for the refractions I’ve made and the ripples I’ve caused, is the reason I’m here today, still walking my Process, with much still to correct and change, but no longer estranged within the wonder of ‘How’.

I was told that it’s also the bad and the ugly, along with the good that got you to this point in your life, and if you’re experiencing some form of clarity, you didn’t just so happen to do it all yourself (in so many words), these things also played a major role in the shaping of who you are today, so gifts of sorts, for me to open up, investigate and sort out the point within them that needs to be, and so, everything that started happening back to back, to back, to back, none stop, was met with the Tough Skin, I mentioned earlier, I REFUSE to give up, and within this Refusal, I am being shown a direction towards my resolve.

But to continue walking and stalking out these patterns/ways and behaviors I exist as, to change their directions, and shake things up in the malt of my life, that opens the door for molding and creating myself anew, into the New Me/You of who you really are, ‘Not a Brand or a Character replacement, but a space filled Awareness of all as Life, as who we really are as all as Life, NO MORE Hide and Seek.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 770: Blind Spot

With a peripheral that’s trivial at time, we don’t see our complete surroundings that question our point of grounding oneself soundly, being that we’re always on the move with one objective in sight, makes our side view undistinguishable, and might just bump into something and blame that something for being in the way, but if that something had something to say, it would say; “Hey, I’m right here, and how do you feel that way”, that watched you run right into it and didn’t flinch, and so spend time in a relative state of emotional suspense.

Living life within the sideshow of survival, create a blind spots as a rival to who we really are, and how we’re supposed to live, and then some, I bet you didn’t see that coming, we use that as a surprising effect after premeditating and calculating the affect we would have on someone who we ‘think’ is out to harm us, so we enter into their blind spot to blind side them, just to find that behind us they stand and really have our backs – so any perpetual attack is not a cool thing to do.

Car crashes are created partially by not seeing around the blind spot of the vehicle, and the other, sitting behind the blind spot in our minds, deep in thought, thinking, “I ought-a” then crash, instead of releasing oneself from the past unconditionally, that puts one in a paralyzing position to not focus on the road ahead, I mean cell phones do that to, as the mobile mind we carry around with us everywhere, and dare to be bothered when I’m doing something. (Reality can wait!!) –

But life can’t and won’t, that works hand and hand with time, that gives us chances to correct our blind spots, before we lose ourselves within them, for the mere fact that we wake up every day, is another chance and fresh start to correct what binds up from looking/seeing passed our blind spots, (so thank your Life for that) to see what has been, and what’s to come, with clarity, and clean out the spots of imperfection in our own lives, by our own will and fruition, when no one can tell you what to do.

When moving assertively with a purpose and will, one is able to see in all directions, that lessens the chance for other things to happen, and just so happen you may see it before it comes, and some of the times it could be fun, when knowing, I’m really correcting and changing myself, but everything is not always a downhill ride, and our bad side may be the side we need to correct first, so matters won’t get worse when trying to change ourselves, where a new emergence will come with introspecting and investigating, f*** waiting I want to move passed this point, in time.

Even if you’re blind you can still be spot on, hearing, feeling and thinking, just like everyone else does, and some say you can see more in the dark anyway, because when the light comes on we tend to wear shade, and play all day without taking responsibility, and see this as a feeling of being put on the spot, instead of realizing the spot we just put ourselves in, when using blind spots as the excuse; “I didn’t see them”.

Where being a watcher is like a potter clay, that we use to shape our own reality, and place blind spots in front of the things we choose not to see, until that thing actually confronts me, and at times still turn the other cheek and get smacked in the face with it on the other side, because life don’t play games and life don’t lie, but stand it does, because it stood for you, and now it’s time for us to stand for Life, and correct our spite in order to see everything, and mean what we say and say what we mean, until we intrinsically become life, and All Live as kings and Queens right Here on this Earth. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create blind spots in front of the things I choose not to see, but end up seeing them anyway, because they’re always there/Here, waiting for me to correct and change my relationship towards it, and sort out the rest of me, to get to the best of me – that’s making the spotted me clean, by purifying the words that I speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use blind spot as an excuse that I didn’t see them, while hiding behind the blind spot in my mind, thinking too much and rushing at the same time, just to fined myself on a crash course into a collision.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize, the mere fact that I know, see and use the word blind spot, states that I am always aware that I have a problem and should immediately do something about it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to immediately do something about the blind spots I see and know I have, that would hinder me from moving passed different points in my life, but would rather chalk it up as a human nature flaw that needs no correction, until it just so happens to shake up my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I can’t see everything and so stick with the excusable saying; “I don’t eye’s in the back of my head”, instead of looking behind me to see from whence I can, that would shine light onto my present stance, to walk into a certain future without re-creating the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself create my future from my past, blinded by the spots that tarnished my being, meaning how I allow my weakness to remain in place, instead of correcting the parts of them that needs to be replaced.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to save face, meaning accepting the characteristics of the face I present as who I am, instead of eradicating these characters by facing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste space, by filling in the distance between me and my utmost potential with blind spots as pockets of resistance, and miss the obvious every time, where only if I use these blind spots as bridges, instead of walls, I would walk over these pockets of resistance into change.

I mean not to say blind spots doesn’t exist because they do, thing is, what are you going to do when realized we’ve only been living in the shadow of Self, as a figment in our imagination, and not who we really are as the Flesh in Fact? Learn how to recognize your own blind spots, Here.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 769: Seemingly Unchangeable

A feat in itself no one says is easy to do, but doable in the sense of doing it all for you, that’s presented as a mountain of accumulated consequences, and consciousness love the fact that we react to it, after a hard hitting realization that hit home in so many ways, that for everything we’ve done in the past, we still have to pay, I mean (it’s not over until the fat lady sings), FAT meaning, Fixating our Attention To everything as Life, that should be treated like a Lady we court, at all times respecting all Life from ‘Source’ equally, or Life will show you through Hard times and Rough Patches, that matches in feeling of the pain we’re in.

With the idea of change being so unrecognizable, the lie is then Sold that you can never change this, that it’s not within your Stars to understand this, that there’s a greater plan for you being unaware of it, makes it easy for us to be scared of it too, because throughout my life I hadn’t changed a lick, while thinking that we know what change really is, but if you take away the ‘Doe’ as Money would you change then, or find something else to make change with, instead of creating the change we would like to live.

Seem = See Mind present you with doubt, in wonder; “How is all of this really going to work out”, and fall for this Ponzi scheme every single time, instead of taking the time to start on building something new, and that too can end up being a headache in the making, when waiting on something to fall in your lap, and perhaps spring board you out of this hole, that’ll put you back even with what you owe, just a couple of real time scenarios that goes through my mind (at times), that’s seemingly Unchangeable when I follow it’s design, but time doesn’t stand still, we have to keep moving with it, and as it until we get to the other side of correction. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish I had more time, when stuck in a mind frame of thinking, things in my life are unchangeable, which is true in thoughts that presents worded pictures, to puzzle together scenarios of grandeur, that’s not true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the word seemingly, being an idea in my mind that presents doubt, to things being changeable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into this idea, believing that things are too hard to change or unchangeable, instead of realizing that accepting the awareness of it, to moving forward and acting on it, is the actual process of changing things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe some things are too hard to change, instead of seeing the resistance form base, as a gift that shows, if I resist, I must persist, being that the hardest part when walking a point, is right before a break through.

And so, at times a break is needed to correct oneself, before falling to deep into thought, that would lead to the prolonging of one’s process, due to the complacency of the experience one is in.

Also, to look at breaking down the big points, one is walking to smaller more specific point, to not be overwhelmed with the mountain size view of everything we’re facing, and that’s all I got for now. ‘Work in Progress’.

Thanks for reading.

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