Day 614: “N”

The letter “N” to me is a tricky one, because, there’s “Not” too many words that I use that is supportive to my vocabulary, most of them I have use are “Negative” in “Nature” such as “Nope”, “Notta”, “No”, I got “Nothing” for you, in a spiteful sense of the words used, as revenge for disregarding my Self-Interest in a moment of my weakness, I mean how could you “Not” know that I am sensitive, emotionally driven, so maybe that would teach you a lesson, then turn right back around and ask for help, but “Now” it’s their turn to do the same unto you, as you have done unto them, living the cycle of Tit for Tat, because we thrive off of the Power receive, when chasing after an energy rush, derived from our Spiteful behavior.

Nature as I have seen it, only referred to the trees, plants, grass, flowers, insects and bugs, there was “Never” a recollection of my Human “Nature”, being the way I was, what I liked and disliked and reacted to, and if you would have told me “Nothingness” back then, I would have defined it as having “Nothing”, meaning, being broke, which would bring up a form of depression within and as me, feeling down and out that the world was against me, that somebody had did me wrong, while (hypothetically speaking) sitting in a bucket of lemons with a sour look on my face.

There were very few things of substance that I’d take “Notice” to, such as, for some reason, I “Never” Liked stepping on Bugs, I would always go around them, I mean it could have also been a point of fear as well, but all and all to “Notice” for me was a view taking of Self-Interest, only what I wanted to see, and most everything else, I would turn a blind eye towards, with emphasis on “Noticing” and having an eye to spot out any conflict directed towards me.

If you were to tell me to live in the Here and “Now”, I would tell you., don’t you see me right Here, right “Now”, without realizing that it was being said, that I was always in my mind, but in the sense of things I have defined the word “Now” as a selfish indication of immediate proportion, meaning I wanted things immediately.

Negative

During my Adolescence, hearing the word “No” was the worst thing in the world to me, until I discovered that I could have the power to by saying it myself, and so learned to say it, but telling me “No” “Never” set well with me, it only made me vexed and wanted that whatever it was, that much more.

Positive

In the sense of believing there was “Nothing” I could do about the way my life turned out to be, made the word “Nothing” a Positive, being that I believed that it was beyond my control to change, therefore I waited for change to drop in my lap, so to speak, living the idea that if I did “Nothing”, “No” wrong, then I was being Positive and change would come, boy was I wrong, because I didn’t realize that by being Positive creates the “
Negative”.

Sounding of the Words

Nature

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have only defined Nature in the sense of trees, plants, grass, flowers, insects and bugs, in separation from myself, without realize my inherent Human Nature, being the way I was, as what I liked and disliked that I reacted to, that Never changed, until I started walking my process, therefore I hereby redefine Nature to that in which I see all around me as me, that I must and will take responsibility for, while in the process of changing my Human Nature, to doing that which is best for all life. Going from Not-Sure to making sure I see all as me in a major way.

Not-Your

Not-Sure

Major

No

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word No in a spiteful sense of revenge, to gain, obtain power over another during a moment of their weakness, without any explanation as to why, I would use this word, instead of directing it towards myself, in the sense of telling me No I will Not place myself in such positions again, and so, I commit myself to only utilizing No in the sense of Self, within the statement; “From Here NO Further”, and “No I stop” when telling oneself to Not follow the present thought around in my Mind, and also within the point of correction, for someone to gain clarity on the matter, with an explanation to follow, as in; “No, it’s like this” or this way, within a Self-Honest starting point.

Now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want things immediately, No waiting, then once I got them, I would feel as if I’ve won or something, and so have defined this Now; as a selfish indication of immediate proportion, without any realization as to the Here and Now, as the present state I should at all time be in, without the Mind stepping in, therefore I hereby redefine Now to the present state of Here-Ness in every moment of breath.

Won [If I got it Now means I Won]

Never

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the word Never as a way to escape responsibility for haven done something that I am ashamed to tell others about, as if the secret of say Never would exempt me from haven done the thing in the first place, without realizing that I will inevitably have to face myself for all the things that I’ve done that I have tried to cover up by saying Never, I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to use the word Never as a blatant coverup of things, but only in the context of something that I self-honestly know that I will not do to compromise my process, in which case because of the polarity that exist within this word, I will replace it with Not-Ever, Again/No Longer.

Not-Ever

Nothingness [refer to this Link]

Notice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the word Notice in the sense of only seeing that in which stimulated my self-interest, while saying No-I-See, when looking through the mind’s eye, blinding myself from seeing with aware everything in front of and around me as me, myself then taking responsibility for it, therefore I hereby redefine Notice to that in which I Now see as all as me in awareness when looking at myself from an outsider’s viewpoint.

No-I-See

Now-I-See

Not-to-See

Thanks for reading.

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Day 613: “M”

Have you ever caught yourself in the “Middle” of a “Moment” with a “Miraculous” idea/realization, where the “Mind” steps in and” Make” you forget, then claim that you lost your train of thought, I “Mean” how “Much” “More” confusing do things have to get, before we realize the “Mind” is not who we are? In that “Moment” it’s as if we’re innated with a “Mirage” of thoughts, that flow in line to block the Idea/realization from surfacing, then we say; “Man” what was I about to say, and/or it’s right on the tip of “My” tongue, as the next person then step in and say, ‘Don’t think about it, and it’ll come back to you, then sure enough as soon as we Stop Thinking about it, it comes right back to us, but then go right back to thinking, instead of realizing that too “Much” thinking was the problem in the first place.

Neutrality as the “Middle”/fence sitting, stagnant, not going to either side in one way or another i.e. a people watcher, instead of interacting with people, and the word “Moment”, I’ve used in the statement; I’ll be there in a “Moment” hold your horses, as if it was a “Mission” to pull “Myself” together to go to the aide of someone who was calling “My” name, then “Manipulating” “Myself into being “Mad” that I had to stop “My” Self-
Interesting, to go and assist “My” Self as the request of another.

Before I started to take responsibility, any “Mention” of “Myself” was a selfish indication, that things was all about “Me”, in the context of not wanting to share “Me” with anyone, where the statement would come in of; I can do bad by “Myself” and/or leave me alone, I want to be by “Myself” and as long as I have “Me”, “Myself” and I, I don’t need none of you, within a “Moment” of anger, when I didn’t get “My” way, it was never used as a point of Admittance or Acceptance, that I had “Made” A/the “Mistake” “Myself, that I reverted to the point of blame, so within that, I, “Myself” has been used in separation from “Me” taking responsibility for/as “Myself”, as said within the statement; ‘I Forgive “Myself”…

Positive

In the Schools hallway and corridors and on Billboard in “My” Neighborhood, I saw signs posted and was told that ‘A “Mind” is a Terrible thing to waste”, therefore that, along with other statements like; Use Your “Mind” and “Mind” Your “Manors” lingering around in “My” Head, I saw these as forms of Positive recollections and indications that the “Mind” was a good thing to have and anything good to me back then, had to come from Positive thinking and so Positive, as said in the Bible, whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovey and of Good report, to THINK on these things, validating to me that the “Mind” was in fact Positive in Nature, without realizing that in separation I existed from it, when following it around and believing it to be “Me”, “Myself” and I, that would eventually create the Negative.

Negative

Back in “My” hay days (growing up) there was no such thing a learning from ones “Mistakes”, “Mistakes” were dealt with punishment, therefore to “Me” the punishment in itself was the learning curve, “Making” the word “Mistake”, seem as a Negative connotation in the usage of it, and so when realized or told that I “Made” a “Mistake”, instant fear would arise within and as “Me”, due to the stigma I had of being punished whenever I would “Make” a “Mistake, stemming from being aligned with the design of a belief system, and so Negative.

Sounding of the Words

Middle

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed Myself to have always found Myself stuck in the Middle of things, not wanting to Make a stand for anything, but claiming neutrality as an escape/excuse to why I was a fence sitter, instead of using Middle as a way to step outside Myself to observe what I am doing, to get a better picture/understanding on what I needed to correct within Myself, therefore I commit Myself to when using the word Middle see it as a self-placement of observing how can I correct/change Me, as well as what to correct/change within Myself.

My-Deal

Moment

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed Myself to want More time for Myself, I’ve defined as a Moment, when someone is calling My name, thinking that Moments are the excuse of a time for Me to take My time and they can wait, instead of realizing that Moment are the general accumulation of time in unspecific increments, that is not to be taken for granted or used in self-interest, but walk through with breathe as the incremental ticking of a clock, with awareness and consideration for everything and everyone around you, therefore I commit Myself to utilizing Moment in the context of the above statement in every Moment of/with Breath

More-Time

Miraculous

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed Myself to think that anything that happened, occurred, appeared, transpired without Me seeing/knowing how it’s possible, I’ve defined as a Miracle, without realizing there to be an explanation for any and everything that exist and occur in this world, reality and existence, but thinking that God was the cure, instead of looking in the Mirror as Self, that the Cure is Us, so I commit Myself to realizing the Miraculous Miracle of Self as the Cure for imminent Change, Meaning it’s Us that holds the key of reason as to why what is what in this world, through the power of Manifestation/Creation as so the inevitability of Change is imminent.

Mirror-Cure-Us

Mind [See Desteni.org]

Mine

Me-Indeed

Make

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed Myself to see and have used Make in the sense of forcefulness to do something, i.e. Making Myself get up in the Morning, instead of seeing realizing Make as a form of creation, where I create a will within Myself to get up and create my day, without any aches and pains, brought on by forcing myself to do something, and so I commit Myself to living the word create in place of Make, Meaning to create a way to do something instead of Making (Forcing) My way into doing something.

My-Ache

More

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed Myself to have always been in search for the More of Myself, outside of Myself, therefore whenever I used the word More, I felt as if I was incapable of looking within Myself to see that I already exist as everything I wanted, searched for, looked for the More of, without realizing in chasing after the More of things, I was giving the Me aspect of More to Energy, in the want and chase thereof. I commit Myself to realizing the More of everything as Me and thus utilize the word More in the context of completing Me.

Me-Or-Energy

Myself

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed Myself to define and have used the word Myself as a selfish indication that things were all about Me, but never My fault, instead of realizing the word Myself should be used in the context of Admittance to, and Acceptance of my failed Creation as/of myself in my world and reality in that Moment, then taking responsibility by Myself, for Myself, being that no one can do it for Me, as seen in the statement; ‘I Forgive Myself’…. Therefore, I commit Myself to taking responsibility for the Myself that is Me, in all the aspects that I exist as, to become one with and equal to my Physical Flesh, as the Self I am.

My-Self

My-Flesh

Thanks for Reading.

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Day 612: “L”ife

In “Life”, what is it that excites us in our “Leisure” time, when meeting someone for the first time, in one moment then saying, I “Like” you, while “Looking” at them straight in the eye, with an unconscious intent of trying to “Locate” their soul, as if just a moment ago, they hated you and everything that you stood for, ironically this is just a mild assumption when “Looking” through the looking glass as the eyes of another, in the attempt to figure them out in the next moment, so you can walk away with an impression “Left” on yourself, happy go ”Lucky”, and for the next 24 hours or so, find yourself, “Loathing” in the memory of what has been, within the wonderment of do they “Like” you too, and we call this feeling; “Living” “Life”.

The statement of “Let” me “Live” my “Life” the way I want to, is spoken in vain without the consideration of all “Life” as you, as me, but said countless amounts of times throughout my “Life” out of self-interest in the moment when perpetuating an Energy-Filled reaction, which is actually “Life” spelled backward, while backing myself into a corner, thinking that I needed space to experience me, “Leaving” no room for change, I mean I have grown to “Like” being alone, just so I could say that I’m “Lonely” to anyone that would “Listen”, while “Lusting” for the response of, ‘What can I do for you’, which inevitably “Locked” me into the trap of being introverted and dependent, which secluded me even more into the “Life” I wanted to be “Left” alone to “Live”, which wasn’t really “Living” “Life” at all, but “Living” a “Lie”, when chasing after energy experiences. Therefore, I have defined “Life” in that instance as a choice to be, a certain way, through Characterization and self-interest, when chasing after energy experiences, as the experience of me.

Is this all “Life” has to offer, as the statement of self-acceptance, when giving up is placed on a the table, under the assumption that I have no choice but to conform, without realizing what “Life” had to offer is the position I’m in now, walking my process to become it, “Live” it, breathe it, be it, protect it, stand equal to and one with it and most Importantly, to do what’s best for it, “Life” as the final frontier to changing this existence is to be “Lived” without any Self-Imposed “Limitations”, illusions of Grandeur or Evil.

Positive

Positivity I saw/thought to be the key to “Life”, therefore I saw “Life” as a Positive thing, without realizing the “Limitation” I have placed upon it, claiming if I was happy, (in the sense of having money and/or material possession), that to me was “Living” “Life”.

Negative

In the context of taking a “Life”, has always been a Negative to me, where the question was asked, what about in a kill or be killed situation, where I stated, if you get the upper hand, you then have a choice, being that “Life” is now in your hands, and should not be taken for granted, in a moment of rage and/or fear.

Sounding of the Words

Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Life as a series of self-interested
choices to be a certain way, through Characterization, when chasing after energy experiences, as the experience of me, without realizing all consist of Life as me, therefore if I wasn’t living for/as all, then I wasn’t Living Life, so I hereby redefine Life to that in which one becomes and live as all as oneself, doing that which is best for all in every moment of breathe, to be obtained through self-investigation/realization/Self-Forgiveness and Correction, without Filling oneself up with energy Limitations.

(In reverse) E-Fil = Energy Filled

Leisure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the word leisure as a way to try and escape my reality in Leaving Here, which in fact was an abdication of my responsibility, instead of leaving my mind and coming back Here to experience the present as a form of expression to be lived, therefore I commit myself to redefining the word Leisure to that of presently expressing and enjoying who I am as everything around me in the moment when alone with oneself.

Leave-Here

Like

I forgive myself that I have accepting and allowed myself live the energy experience of Liking someone within a split moment of meeting them, just because their actions resonated with the character I was perpetuating at the time, stating ‘I Like you’, then leave with an impression of them on me, and at the forefront of my mind, which magnified the wonderment of thinking do they like me to, instead of keeping it simple with agreeing or not with what’s/who’s resonating in front of me, unconditionally., Therefore, I commit myself to no longer over sensitizing the genuine like I have for someone or something, but instead to continue getting to know that someone or something more, before Living Like I really know them.

Living-I-Know-Energy

Creative Writing

Therefore, “Living” “Life” with only “Like” minded individuals was “Ludacris” to say the “Least”, because of the “Lostness” of self that I “Let” “Limit” me in so many ways, unable to “Live” who I really am as “Life”, because whenever I “Looked” at someone I didn’t see myself “Looking” back at me, and so had “Lost” touch with reality, as a “Loser”, as the “Life” I Lived.

Redefinition

Simply put: You as all and everything around You, as You/Me.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org

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Day 611: “K”

They say “Kill” em with “Kindness”, as a figure of speech, but what “Kind” of person speaks of “Kindness” when “Killing” is all we do, that’s hidden through the advertising of giving to charities, as seen through a Kaleidoscope of pretty colors and shapes, that makes up the sacred geometry of our inherent preprogrammed designed nature, making it appear hard for one to live the word “Kind” as the expression of oneself, but if only one would lift the veil to see what’s under the shell, you would fine the redefinition of this word as; ‘Being me,. so, I must “Keep “on “Keeping” on.

Investigating all things and “Keeping” that which is good, without any accumulated Self-Interest to “Keep” me busy, as the side show of living without a purpose, stating that I’m “Keeping” this for myself, in relations to the “Kind” of things that only makes me happy, hoarding away any possibility of experiencing change when one gets the idea that something must give, but “Keep” allowing myself to do the same thing.

“Knowing” is half the battle, but when it’s a battle to get to “know” yourself, something is severely wrong with this picture, being that “Knowledge” without application is useless, where I have gravitated towards “Knowledge” to be obtained for purposes of stature/status, which in all aspects was an illusion of grandeur.

Positive

“Kindness” in the general sense of the word, I’ve always used in a positive connotation of the word, where a random act would be to open the door for the lady, or share a treat with my friends growing up, but never “Kind” to everyone and everything the same equally, meaning that there’s a flaw in the way Positivity is reached.

Negative

That’s not my “Kind” of party, meaning that it doesn’t suit my self-interest at the moment creating a Negative drawback of sort against a “Kind” of, place or thing, in separation from myself, that all things weren’t good for me, because I just didn’t like it, as a spiteful way to exist, while trapped in the introverted self as me.

Sounding of the Words

Kill

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have looked at killing as a bad, horrible thing, without realizing that I was Killing myself all alone, by keeping myself Ill with thoughts and reactions. I commit myself to stopping the Killing of myself through the continuation of following my thought around in my head and reacting to what comes up, by investigating what comes up within and as me and correcting myself.

Keep-Ill

Kindness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Kindness in the sense of only being kind to those that was close to me and no one else who I didn’t know, keeping it in the Nest (so to speak) instead of making my acts more than random but to treat everyone and everything the same as I would like to be treated. I hereby commit myself to redefining kindness to that of treating others with the respect I would want for myself.

Keep-In-the-Nest

Kaleidoscope

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have distracted myself with the workings of a Kaleidoscope with all its colors and shapes, without realizing my own preprogrammed designed within what I was seeing, as I was colliding with myself to No avail, therefore I commit myself to stopping the collisions within me, the fight within and as me, to be able to de-program myself and live life to my utmost potential.

Collide-with-Self

Keep

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Keep things to myself, to have been closed mouthed, without asking question when I needed to learn things about myself, where I would keep the Key-pieces of my self-interest intact that would cause me to diminish myself, therefore the selfishness within me kept me limited from reaching my utmost potential. So, I commit myself to keeping myself focus on my process instead of Keeping my problems to myself.

Key-Piece

Knowing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at one point in my life, think that I was all-knowing in the sense of communicating with the people in my world, where I would spew knowledge and information in hopes of receiving status, defining Knowing as that in which I possess of Knowledge and information to make myself seem more than others, therefore I hereby redefine Knowing to that of retaining that in which I learn to be used as self-support in the process of changing me to reach my utmost potential, where there’s no ending to learning and applying.

No-Ending

Thanks for Reading.

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Day 610: “J”

Throughout my life I’ve often found myself trying to “Justify” my “Judgements” of others by “Joking”, as if I was a court “Jester”, “Judicating” the way I viewed people, as a form of breaking the ice, when there was too much silence in the room, which was actually an excuse to cover up my own insecurities, while claiming that it was “Just “ a “Joke” as has been in my world as “Jurisdiction”, believing that I was to Judge to remain in control of me, when in fact the “Joke” was on me for “Judging” myself.

They say ‘that’s “Just” the way it is’, but “Just “because “Just” is a created fact, doesn’t mean that there’s a “Just” cause for being, “Just” because I said so. I mean we scream No “Justice” No Peace, when it’s “Just” us who fail to take responsibility for the pieces of ourselves as others we neglect in every which way possible, making it possible for “Just” to be understood in the context of what’s best for all and not “Just” in a sense of “Oh Well”.

For what it seems as Aon’s of time we’ve been told to wait for “Judgement” day to come, that “Judgement” day is coming, so in the wait we walk around “Judging” others for not being ready, not realizing that we’re the “Judge” to our own demise, for the simple fact that we fail to face ourselves at every turn, believing that if we put someone else in the lime light, maybe what we’ve done will go unnoticed, as the same as looking in the mirror saying to yourself that’s not me, an impossible Feat to do, being that you will face yourself to be “Judged” by you, and me, me.

Positive

Defined by a belief system I believe criticism to be a Positive form of Judgement, where my opinion became the catapult to downing the next Mans work, because it wasn’t up to par with what I was doing, as I’ve defined as industry standard, no matter the case or type of work being done, we believe some form of “Judgement” is in order, in order to keep everything running the same, leaving no room for Change, because simply put Change doesn’t make the money, so we claim if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, “Just” let it be, because, again, that’s “Just” the way it is.

Negative

Afraid that people would look at me funny is how I would “Justify” my “Judgments” of them, as Negative, by stating to myself, “Just” if I’, looked like this or that way, or didn’t have this or that mark on my body, then I wouldn’t have to worry about them, as an easy out of taking responsibility for my own Self- “Judgements”.

Sounding of the Words

Justify

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lived my life from one Justification to the next, thinking that I needed to Justify why I was the way I am, as so different than other, not realizing that the environment in which I was raise, and how I was raise, played a major role in the way I look and turned out, instead of Just accepting me for me. I commit myself to accepting me for me and living the words Self-Acceptance, not more Just if I, but how about I just take responsibility for myself.

Just-If I

Judgments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I’ve written about Judgement enough in my past, only to find myself still Judging myself, being defined as a necessary medium to keep myself in line, but the question is with what, therefore I commit myself to removing all self-judgements from within and as me, and living as what I’m meant to be, which is Life.

Joking

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have said and done things toward other in a Joking manor, defining Joking as the pointing out of other mishaps in the moment, for selfish pleasures, instead of see/realizing the Joke was on me, being that I could only point out what I saw and/or have done within myself, which is no laughing matter, therefore I commit myself to living and using the word Joke/Joking in the context of pointing out my own mishap as a laugh that would assist and support someone to see what and how I’ve walked through a point

Justice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about myself when looking for Justice for a wrong doing, stating, Just us/Just me, I’m the one that was wrong, so help me get vengeance, while 1/3 of the world have No one standing up for them in anyway, because our only concerned is on Just Us and our petty excuses of self-interest, so I commit myself to continue finding myself in everything around me and in existence, to ultimately change Justice from Just Us, to All.

Thanks for Reading.

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Day 609: “I”

You’re looking at him, “I”, Me in the flesh, as the only statement we agree to recognize the body with, other than that, we see “It” as a vessel, as “If” “It” was a 18’ wheeler hauling around our “Important” perishables, “In” essence our junk, consisting of a brain, a few organs and a soul and a mind, not realizing that “I” am not the mind, but so much more than that, you as an “I” = “Individual” “Is” so much more than that, “In”-Divided-“Into” different expression, as One whole. “Individually” speaking one’s Opinion, “Is “In fact a way to Spite facts, without the facts “In” front of you, as a way “I’ve” used to fight back with myself, keeping myself “Integrated” within and as my mind, while claiming “I” don’t mind, (which is a lie), ‘I” have my own opinion and you have yours. “I”, “I”, “I”, “I”, “I”.

Lol, “I” experienced an eye opener when listening to an “Interview” in the Reptilians Series; ‘Language the Sceptre of Creation’ (Pt. 2) 71 with Marduk, where “It” was discuss how “In” existence at what point we started separating ourselves through language, where beings no more communicated themselves through there beingness with each other as beingness sharing, but instead it now became, look at me, look at how “I” am, look at what I am experiencing, and how from then on, no being ever communicated with each other, they were always communicating themselves, where for example when a being would communicate with them, “It” wouldn’t be a hearing a sharing, a seeing of who that being “Is “in” the totality of themselves, everything would move “In” sound to the other being and the other being would then resonate and activate all of their personalities, definitions, language an symbols , and then communicate, but this is what “I” am experiencing’ within me, that you’re activating, ‘Within me’, ‘Within “I”, where previously it was, “I” see with you, “I” see as you, I experience with and as you, let me expand with what you’re saying, and so on and so forth, I mean after listen to this “Interview”, “I” see why “I” have defined everything all about me/“I”, that sort of a blinding mechanism to seeing myself/expressing and understanding the totality of another being/person and all that’s me/.

I mean we get to this point, by being “Idealistic”, where an “Idealistic” way of thinking is to invoke my way on how “I” think things should be/done, because “It’s” my “Idea”, “I” came up with “It”, which actually leaves no room for expansion, through the perspective of others, I mean I was good at that, but it only got me to looking at things objectively and one-sided, because of the “I”, “I” exist as and have patronized within myself, which caused such “Isolation” of me in my world and reality.

“Isolate’, where “I” was always so late, because “I” had closed myself off to the rest of the world “In” a way, to not receive, “Important” “Information” that would expand my horizon to eventually arise from behind the “I” and communicate as the “We”.

Positive

My “Interpretation”, the way I’d said things was a Positive, even the word “In” “Itself” “Interpretation” – as a point of view/an Opinion, “I’ve” used in a Positive connotation of the word, meaning “It” was cool to me for all to have their own Opinions /” Interpretations”, because that meant no one would question me about mine.
“I”, “I’ve” always used in a Positive connotation of the word, being that “I’ve” always wanted everything to be about me, the center of attention, selfish to the we, “It” was Me first, unless the we suited my “Interest” of self, but still then “It” was all about me.

Negative

Any “interruptions” to the “I”, “I” saw as a Negative, and thus see/saw the word “Interruption” being used “In” a Negative connotation of “It, as a bad thing, where for example an “Interruption” to my resting/sleeping, triggered a reaction from within me, but on the other hand “It” would be Ok for me to “Interrupt” others, because my excuse would be valid, which “Is” a partial way of looking at things

Sounding of the Words

I

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made things all about me/I, my point of view, how I would experience myself when in conversation with others, instead of seeing what they were sharing and then adding to the share as I was seeing them as me, which in essence, I was defining I, without considering others, who they are as the shared with me themselves, therefore, I hereby Redefine I in to the context of all, during communication with another being, as a hearing, a sharing and seeing who that being is in the totality of themselves, without placing myself in as a reaction to how they made me feel by what they’re saying.

If

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the word If in a spiteful sense, stating, what if this or that happens, in a worst case scenario, bringing up my Imagination that would provoke a reaction for the I, I have defined as me, Instead of seeing the word If as a possibility to do within a timeframe I am given, therefore I commit myself to using the word If as a measure of support through communicating to others what I am or not able to do within a timeframe I am given, no longer a “What if”.

Important

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have only considered things of my own self-interest as most Important, instead of seeing/realizing myself as all, making all as Important to me, in the sense of doing that which is best for all, within includes me, therefore I commit myself to considering and seeing that I’m-Part-All, as the whole as me, and using the word as such

I’m-Part-All

In

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from all through being an introvert, creating a want within me to be IN with the IN crowd, group, people in general, instead of seeing/realizing the connection we all have to each other as IN Humanity, therefore the only separation that doesn’t belong is of the Mind, and so I commit myself to no longer creating a down and out feeling about wanting to be IN, but instead to see/realize/understand and express that, I am the IN in which I seek, as part of the whole.

Individual [See Desteni.org]

Interview [See above Link]

Idealistic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an Idea of me and how I only see things being done my way, stating that, because it’s my Idea it shouldn’t be changed and/or can get no better, that should stay the same, without realizing how limited and primitive my Ideals have become, because I left no room for perspective from other, who would see what I wasn’t, to input a correction or change to make it/or me better, and so I commit myself redefining Idealistic from that of being stuck on the I aspect of the deal, to that of sharing my deals with other, that would leave things open for perspective/correction and addition if needed, to improve on that which is already Here.

I-Deal-In-Sickness

Isolate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had the behind closed door syndrome in Isolation from myself through guilt and suppression, first and foremost, that would cause my to seclude myself from my own reality, living the word, I-So-Late, instead of seeing/realizing communicating and sharing myself with the We as all to be on time and up on the times, so when it’s time to assist and support others as myself, I’ll be on time and so I commit myself to living the word Openness and vulnerability

I’m-So-Late

Interpretation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see all and all’s Interpretation as a positive thing, thinking/perceiving/believing that opinion through freedom of choice, was the way to real individualism, without realizing, the I as defined through separation, is the starting point of all’s participation, therefore I commit myself to redefining the word Interpretation from that of having a free choice to give one’s opinion, to that of sharing a realization after a walking through investigation and correction.

Interruption

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become reactive whenever I was interrupted with what I was doing, especially when resting, and then turn right back around and believe it to be ok to interrupt others, thinking that my excuse is more valid, instead of breathing my way through the stop of what I was doing, as the consideration of the interrupter as me, and/or communicating the importance of what I’m doing to the interrupter, as the acknowledgement of what the interrupter wants, I commit myself to taking into consideration what others are doing as I would like for myself, to no longer accept and allow myself to blatantly become the interrupter, but to consider what others are doing as important, if not more than what I’m doing, when faced with the same/similar situation. I commit myself to living the words consideration of others, making the I, I exist as more of a We thing.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 608: “H” as in “Help”

As one of the most Predominate words starting with the letter ”H”, that I’ve used, consisting of;

“Help”, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up, but not good enough, except when your fall is physical, other than that, it’s like begging for Hell-Please, that falls on deaf ears, although “Heard”, but no compassion for those who can’t “Help” themselves in the broad scheme of things, I mean if you’re literally deaf dumb and blind, all you got is your mind, which is one “Hell” of a way to live, and “Half”, (If not all the time) we act def, dumb and blind, when following the mind, so give me a “Hand” please, without clapping, because my one “Hand” is on figuring out my problems and the other is gesturing to get your perspective on what I have done thus far.

Is it really “Hospitable” to “Help someone after they’ve gone down the tubes when trying to figure things out for themselves, then “Hey” this person needs “Help”, but by that time, they “Have” one foot on a banana peel and the other “Halfway” off the cliff of insanity, because all their life the details on “How” to, was a bit blurry, and the explanation they received was standardized, which doesn’t work for every single person, I mean I should know because I’m one of them. Then you “Have” those who only step in after one person took the initiative to do and say something, as if to say; “Oh this person is cool now”, let me share my perspective, I mean 1 person can’t Help everyone in the world alone, and maybe not even 2, so “How” can I claim that I’m one and equal with everyone alike, when I don’t respond to and or give them the time of day/patience/courtesy and respect the same as I done those who I know? Really.

So you see the word “Help” “Has” been somewhat of a battle throughout my life, being that when I didn’t readily receive it, I would give up in a way, but if I really had to do it, I would do it my own way, and blame the fact that others didn’t want to “Help” me, on the way things turned out, but How about now, one would ask as a question raised under suspicion, defining the “Help” I should be giving myself, and giving myself; but to completely live the word “Help” as an Expression of me, a redefinition is in order, but first

Positive

I have used the word “Help” as a Positive connotation of the word, in a sense of needing a “Hand” for “Heavy” lifting and/or moving things around, as a question of uncertainty growing up of “How” to tie my shoe, and as a point of need when first starting out on a new phase of things.

Negative

I’ve also used the word “Help” in a Negative sense of the word, when laziness arises in the moment of resistance claiming; “Ah man I don’t feel like doing this, I need “Help”, as an abdication of my responsibility. And seen used unto me, as a cause for chastisement coming from a Parent or older Guardian for the moment stating, this will “Help” you to remember next time, which is a lie and really used for an Egotistical Power trip of releasing one’s anger and as a control measure.

Sounding of the Words

Help

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have Defined Help in the sense of resisting the chance to take self-responsibility for figuring things out, as a preliminary investigation to a point I’m walking in my life, where laziness sets in at the sight of seeing something that seems complicated then thinking I need Help, which in that case is more like a call to saying I want to remain in Hell-Please, instead of seeing/realizing Help to be that in which I ask for only after I’ve gotten to a point within my own self-investigation and need assistance to further my understanding on the current subject matter, therefore I Hereby Redefine Help to being that support received, when asked, after I have come to widths end or deadlock within a point of situation in my life.

Hell-Please

Heard

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have added my version to something I’ve Heard with the intent of making it more than it seem and/or making it sound good, as if I was the creator of it, Defining Heard as my perception of knowledge and information received, instead of listening intensely to what’s being said to not mistake or change any of it.

Hell

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have believed Hell to be someplace out there one would go to, if they didn’t follow the design of a belief systems God, instead of realize, the induction of Hell I place onto myself on a Daily basis, by following my mind around, that I’ve given the Master Controls of my life to, to direct me. Therefore, I commit myself to Helping myself to regain Directive Principle of me, by stopping my participation in this Hellish way of thinking that I Have patronized myself to living/being/becoming, to becoming who I am as life, as all as one as equal, bringing forth Heaven on Earth for all to live in.

Hand

I forgive myself that I Haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize my hand as two points of assisting myself to create that which is best for all life, in all ways, but have created self-abominations that I would call, my work, because society Has deemed it to be cool, which left no room for me to lend a Creative Hand to those really in need, because I wasn’t in fact Handing myself the Help I needed to learn How to create and How I was created. I commit myself to Handing over to me that in which I’m missing as the point of Self-Creation.

Help-And

Hospitable

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to only perpetuate an act of Hospitality, whenever it suited my self-interest out of spite to some who didn’t agree with the way I would Help other and for what reason, in some cases, but in other , chase after the positive energy of doing so, which in fact is consequential to myself on both end, therefore, I commit myself to living the word Hospitable as a form of expression to myself first, before I try and project it onto others in a Positive or Negative way.

Hold-Spite-Able – meaning no spite involved

Have

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have not accepted the responsibility for the things I perpetuated onto towards others, as the HAVES when writing out my Self-Forgiveness statements, therefore I commit myself to continue taking responsibility for the HAVES I Have done unto others through the continuation of writing my Self-Forgiveness Statements.

How

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to Have used the word How as a point of questioning a Self-Interest, not as a point of questioning myself through introspection, so I commit myself to gifting myself the word/question How, when coming to a point where introspection is needed.

Thanks for Reading.

Desteni.org

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