Day 709: Boundaries

I now set precedence on what I will and will not accept and allow in my world, as a line drawn to not be crossed, but beforehand, what I liked and didn’t like (Out of self-interest) was the driving force to the boundaries I set and so felt violated if they were crossed, but interesting how I would cross them myself, when coming across a perceived good time, but would only do this when no one was around, where no matter what it was, would invalidate the boundaries I set in the first place, and so in hindsight, how could I possible become angry when someone else would cross the line with me, and I’ve done it to myself, i.e. accepting the point of victimization from another at the onset of a potential relationship and that’s just not it, more so the shit I put myself through to be in the “Good Graces” of others, which only caused “Good Grief” for me, and even more to see, how these boundaries also limited me, as in staying with an Idea of a belief system, such as religion for instance, that compelled me to look no further, there for a while, so when someone would tell me anything different; “You crossed the line buddy”, and would talk down or bad about them, because how could they possibly not agree with me, when so many have.

Not realizing that half the time I didn’t know what I was talking about, but only reciting what I thought I knew about, that didn’t really resonate with me, but force upon me, that I created a boundary around as a defense mechanism, that I didn’t really know how to defend, which brings up an interesting point of setting up boundaries that we’re not willing to defend, let alone know how to defend, and would easily turn coat at the minutest point of resistance, recanting our words, saying; “That’s not what I mean though, what I really mean was”… I can either take it or leave it’, and so have bound ourselves in fear of what another’s perception of us is.

The fear point is also interesting, because we’ll set boundaries out of the fear that something we’ve heard and/or seen happen to other, could possible happen to us and so don’t want to put ourselves in the same position, in which case caution is cool, but when the fear ‘thereof’ exceeds the caution level, where we start look at everyone and everything as an imaginative possibility of harm being done to us, is where we sabotage ourselves and a potentially successful relationship with people we come across in our worlds, and so end up losing ourselves within the boundaries we set.

In another aspect boundaries meaning, I’ve bound me to a dreary idea and/or belief that I’m all I got and need to stay clear from those who’s not my same race/creed/color or nationality, is where racism comes into play, where we’re racing straight into the point of destruction, because with division comes corruption and where there is corruption there is greed, and where there is greed there’s an Imbalance in society, and within this Imbalance the boundaries then change for and to the haves and the have nots, no matter the DNA, but ‘hey’, that’s just the way we have limited ourselves for so long as a whole, that has created a life that’s not worth living for most, but have become accustom to maintaining just to get by, then die and realize I had the ability to change my life and didn’t do it, because I accepted the boundaries I’ve placed upon myself and so this world as a whole, that’s a part of me.

Within an effective boundary set, the corrective placement of ‘When and as I see myself’ is needed, being that without this corrective statement, one is bound to lift the draw bridge of the boundary set, giving ourselves leeway to go back on our stance and so let prance in, our acceptances of old, because our boundaries wasn’t written and set in stone as something to live by, but only set as a barrier to not face the lies we’ve told ourselves an still believe to be the truth of who we are, Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have set boundaries that I wasn’t necessarily willing to live by, as a pass time belief that in doing so would rectify my life for the better, then would let them down to allow my self-interest to be fulfilled, then afterwards, put them back up towards the next person I see, as the perfect presentation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have missed a victimizing point from another in my world as a potential relationship prospect, due to not setting this as a boundary as something to look out for in the first place, that would have changed the way I went into relationships, for the better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the ability to change my life, is in fact within how resilient I am with maintaining the boundaries I set, as the things I will and will not accept and allow for myself in my world.

And on another note, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gone overboard with setting too many boundaries, in fear of things going wrong in my world with people in my world, which limited me from getting to know, sharing and expanding my interaction with those I’ve came across in my world., that I in turn, downed, because of a made-up assumption about them in my mind, that I gathered from old interactions with others in my world, believing that it would be the same old thing, when all that was needed was for me to change my stance, and so on and so for, until the boundaries we set, stand for the change in us, and so would change our separation into an invitation, that what I’m learning to live, can be lived by all, because I’ve inverted the boundaries I’ve set outwards, inwards towards me, that would then be projected back outwards to all, as doing what’s best for all..

Thanks for reading

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Day 708: Redefining Satisfied

Contentment as limitation in sticking with what has been my normal way of doing things throughout my life, where I would so easily grab onto something new, and/or something I was given and hold on to it with a tight grip, (so to speak) with the words coming up in the back of my mind, “Be satisfied with what you got”, that stuck with me as a limiting factor to not advance any further than what was afforded to me and so stay within my means, meaning to be happy with the way things were in my life, which left no room for Expanding/Growing/Developing myself to reach my utmost potential, simply because I was satisfied with the status quo of who I was, what I came to know and so talk about.

That I still see nowadays poking at me, when walking certain points in my life, while walking my process, where, I find myself becoming satisfied with just scratching the surface of the point, only peeling off the top layer that’s in my face and leaving the root cause in place, thinking I did enough, because the initial pain I experienced on such point is now gone, without realizing that with the roots still in place, the same point as the same problem will continue resurfacing for me to face, over and over again until I correct it in its entirety, and so within this instance I have defined Satisfied as; “Becoming content with being comfortable, as I Sat there confiding in my mind”, believing that I was at the pinnacle of understanding me, but far from it.

I’ve became easily satisfied, when starving myself from interacting with others throughout my life, which I realize is not healthy, and so when starting to interact again, I have found myself going back into old characters once perpetuated in past interaction with others, that I now look at, then say to myself; “Hold on, this is not who I am”, only after the fact, thus defining Satisfied as; a point of Character Perpetuation when receiving attention from others during a moment of interacting with them.

I find that I’ve become extremely satisfied throughout my life, when told you’re doing a good job/have done a good job with certain things, and so became a praise seeker, where I have create the point of praise into a moment of inspiration and motivation, which changed my motive of being inspired to a point of desire and desperation, and so have also defined Satisfied as; “A point to attain, by the way of seeking praise”, which is an energy fix to say the least.

As a Positive, I have defined Satisfied as a Positively Charged Energy Rush, in believing this feeling would last forever, but then short lived when in a whim of a moment, my thoughts change to having had enough of it, to wanting to be alone again.

As a Negative, what comes up is the point of Blame or a Realization, when hearing from someone and/or saying to someone; “See what you did, are you Satisfied now”, to accepting the my-fault aspect when it’s not our fault and/or Realizing that it is our fault, which should then bring up the point of correction.

What also comes up (for me), when looking at the word Satisfied is the word “Enough”, which can be Positive in the sense of being dissatisfied with what’s going on in my life, and so say ‘enough is enough’, but Negative in the sense of being overwhelmed with what I’m experiencing and so believe and say “I’ve had enough”, then return to the Satisfaction of being oblivious to the pain I experience, as the point of giving up, with Nowhere to give up to.

In essence (For Me) being Satisfied has been a moment to moment point of temporary contentment, going from one energetic experience to the next, from a positive high to a negative low and back to high again, while being in neutral, waiting for this ride to stop, without realizing my ability to stop it, and so now take responsibility for it as a point of Correction and Redefinition.


satisfied: [sat-is-fahyd] adjective
1. content:
a satisfied look.
2. completely paid, as a bill.
3. convinced, as in an argument:
Their opponents were finally satisfied.

Sounding of the Word

Sat-is-fine, (abdicate my responsibility to not change my self-positioning placement/stay within the funk)
Status-Fine, (belief that a Character State is who I am and so ok)
Sad-is-fine, (in accepting an emotional state as who I am)
Sit and confide, (as in confiding in one’s mind that I’m ok with what I got, where I am and who I am in the moment and content)
Stand and Defy (as to relinquish the comfortability of sitting and waiting, but facing and walking through any and all resistance hanging over my head, until I have done all I can to change this world, starting with me, will I be Satisfied).


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been Satisfied with the status quo of who I was throughout my life, in character playouts, that I used as a point of contentment, to stay within the bounds of what I had/was given and was taught to know and so lived by, which limited me from expanding growing, developing myself to reach my utmost potential, that I still see at times rising up from within and as me, walking my process, placing limitations above investigation at times, staying within a point of neutrality, instead of brutal self-honesty, that there’s more to being just Satisfied to realize, and so calls for a Redefinition.

Creative Writing

A fine line to not see pass the vines of time, to have a look at what’s really going on in my world and minds, outside the limitations of contentment, to resenting my own self-positioning placement of staying within the energy of the moment i.e. (the funk), because I was satisfied with the energy based experiences I was having, positive and negative, that plus and minus me through polarity, while scarily staying within the neutrality of things, sitting and confiding in my mind, telling me that ‘everything is fine, and you just stay right there in the sadness of blame because it’s not your fault, it’s just who you are’, so be satisfied with who you are and the status you have or else, I’ll take it away from you, to thinking this may be all there is, while pushing up against the point of giving up, then STOP, to standing up and defying all odd, because I’m tired of sitting around waiting and have become too comfortable with pacing back and for, scraping the floor with the heels of my shoe trying to find a break through, because the point of being Satisfied as I have defined it is Not good enough and so enough is enough. Therefore;


I hereby redefine Satisfied to the continuous Standing and Defying all odds as the point of comfort within pockets of resistance, to keeping my head up when told that I’m limited, knowing and becoming the expression of walking through it, until I’ve reached my utmost potential and accelerated my process to being a living example of having given all that I can = will I be “Satisfied”.

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Day 707: A Self-Analyzing Perspective

Being that we’re so analytical sometimes can reach a tipping point, where in a moment of correction, self-correction that is, we tend to go in and pick apart what we have just told our Self, i.e. “This is too much, No I stop”, then repeating the same thing over in our minds of what we just said to ourselves, after the moment of saying it, as if to antagonize our Self and analyze the realization, which can be a bit much, but engrained within and as us as far back as I can remember (when looking at it), not realizing that this same analyzation is the same that we use when projected towards others, that has corrupted our relationships with each other, in a society that’s separated to the extreme, mind you self-analyzation is not a bad thing, but to repeat over in our minds what we’ve just said to ourselves, as in checking ourselves after we’ve corrected ourselves, is where the problem lies, because in this checking, it lead to other thoughts and backchat towards self, in a subtle way, like saying in our minds, “I know” afterward, which is also a form backchat, believe I or not, I mean I’ve found myself doing this quite a few times, then ask myself, why am I repeating the same thing back to myself that I just said, like a broken record of antagonization, antagonizing the placement or stance I’ve just taken?

The answer lies within the point of still being too analytical towards others in our world/my world, especially in those subtle instances, that can easily go unnoticed, when saying things like; “Why don’t you do this”, “You need to do that”, “I don’t think you need to do this”, “I think you need to do that”, then “Why did you do that” and “Why didn’t you do this”, and “You should have looked at this” or “You should have look at that”, instead of inverting these statements onto/towards ourselves, and working on ourselves as the statements in which we ask others, in which case would show that we’re living and talking about the points that we’ve walked through, instead of just making analytical statements of grandeur, thinking that we’re really helping somebody out. But analyze this, if there’s something that we’ve walked through, have been through and now living as the example of it, then it will show in our words/ways and deeds, and so picked up on by others, making the analyzation of them null in void.

So when taking it back to self, once one has checked oneself into a moment of self-realization, the repeating aspect of the mind, I find will soon stop, but again only after one has lived to stop analyzing others, and walked into living as an example of what we speak about and say to others in regards to what they’re going through that we’ve been through, that should only be mentioned after a question asked, and so is an effective way to assist and support other, without analyzing them, that would possibly strengthen the relationship we have with them, but with ourselves first and foremost in fact. And that’s all I got to say about that.

On another note the best definition I find on Self-Analyzation is best served as Self-Investigation, that would pick apart the lies within ‘An-All-Lies’ (Analyze), that includes me too, and if you’re looking down on this, include you too. So, who am I when looking at myself in the mirror of time, that lays everything out for us to see and redefine our lives one point at a time, no picking apart need, because it’s all a process of piecing ourselves back together again, from spreading ourselves too thin and being lost out there without going anywhere, trapped within the belief of Separation and Sin, but who cares –

And so, stand up for what I see that needs to fixed in my life, connected to the grid, I mean if I’m living as a system, in the system then something has to give, and so stand up for life to become life in fact, which takes me walking points like this to no longer react, and act in the repeat of myself and stop repeating myself, to get to the point of doing things right the first time for myself, and only talk about what I’m living as the correction of myself, because I’ve just Analyzed Me.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 706: A Victimizing Perspective

Interesting the dynamic when thinking/believing that the way we are and what we’ve experienced throughout our life is because of someone else, what someone else have done onto us, which in turn spawns the hatefulness and anger we have towards them, which is really at ourselves for picking and choosing the situations we’ve put ourselves in, and later on tell ourselves things like, why am I always choosing the wrong guy or girl to be with, I mean it’s like I’m always attracted to the thug and/or gold digger, and after that’s finish, go into the next relationship or dating situation, with the story to tell, that every guy or girl we’ve been with treated us wrong and now want a fresh start with someone new, not realizing that the person you was with, is out doing/saying the same things that didn’t work out for them either.

Where the gullibility of the person accepting this flattery, (if things initially work out), will turn into becoming an actual victim in fact, being that the calling cards was already laid out for us on the table, that we didn’t choose to see at the time, that; “I am apt to playing victim and will blame You when things go south”, that’s veiled mostly by the way the person looks. And or a ‘resume given that I did this, that and the other for them, that then sits in our minds, of the same being done for us that never will be, because this is just mumbo jumbo coming from a point of victimization of the person we’re attracted to.

So where is all of this coming from? Ok I started ease dropping in on a conversation, when hearing this person tell the other, (in what it seems as a dating situation) that every guy they’ve been with has treated them wrong, and to my surprise the other person stopped it immediately, by saying; “You need to drop the victimizing”, which shocked the other person who then said; “You don’t know what I’ve been through in my life” with a smile their face (showing their attraction to them still), then the other person smiled back and calmly said; “The victimizing you’re doing, not cool”, in so many words, which caught me off guard as I wasn’t expecting to hear that, and had a chuckle to myself, lol, then looked into my world where I have experienced the same, but didn’t say anything, because of the attraction as a distraction I assume to have for the other person.

This attraction in which I speak about is interesting to say the least, because, it stops us from really hearing what the other person is saying and/or if we did hear, don’t say anything about what they’re saying/have said, because that would most likely make it harder for our self-interest to come into fruition, so we think, instead of setting somewhat of a boundary from the get go, that certain things I will or will not accept and allow, then let the chips fall where they may, but in past situations as such I didn’t see things this way, that could have stopped me from going into (and creating) so many dead end relationships, or could have made the relationships I ended up being in better, because of the preliminary boundaries that I set.

What I realized is that when these boundaries are not set, it’s easier to fall into victimization, after the fact, because we accept certain things to happen within the relationship that then accumulates to the point of fearing to say anything at all, because now since our self-interest has been met, we attach ourselves to the energy behind it and so don’t want to lose it, until all is lost in the relationship, then claim that I’ve been treated wrong/taken advantage of, misused and it’s unfair, instead of how did I let this happen, to not repeat the same pattern again, when going into the next relationship.

Which takes us back to the beginning of going into the next relationship/potential relationship, victimizing ourselves, following the perpetual design of what we have created and continue to relive and replay over and over again, from an energetic high to an extreme low, blame and victimization and it don’t stop until we stop it, with the correction of;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept victimization from others when going into a relationship with them, because I let my attraction to them stop me from speaking up when I saw this point coming up, and only wanted my self-interest to be fulfilled, where within this acceptance, I then perpetuated the same victimization of blaming them when things didn’t go right within the relationship, afterward towards others I attempted to start a new relationship with, and continued perpetuating this same cycle over and over again throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that it’s easier to blame, instead of taking responsibility for accepting victimization in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself/play the victim to get what I wanted, while in a relationship with other, because of accepting the definition of self, as a victim from the onset, from both parties involved, that was done in a tit for tat way, instead of stopping this madness, that would ultimately be the downfall within the relationship.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to speak up and stand up for what I will and will not accept and allow within any potential relationship, that’s at a dating point and/or initial conversation and something comes up, but instead let my addiction to wanting my self-interest to be fulfilled blind me from seeing and making the correct decision and correction when needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not been aware of subtle points like this coming up at the onset of any relationship I started/wanted to be in, to see that this victimizing point could/would also be the beginning of the end of the relationship as well. So;

When and as I see myself going into any relationship, where I see a point of victimization coming up, within the talk of another, I stop and breathe and speak up on what I’m seeing, to explain myself in so many words, of a detrimental outcome formulating, if said point is not realized and corrected, but in a nice way though, lol. I see/realize/understand that this often lead to becoming a self-defining point of any relationship, that’s unhealthy in every way, and so commit myself to establishing who I am/what I will and will not accept and allow within myself first, before going into any relationship. And that way one is clear on ones starting point, outside the initial attraction point which is cool, but shouldn’t stop us from speaking up when needed.

So this was an interesting, but cool realization to see and hear, coming from others who are in their own location position placement, walking their own process, that assisted me to look at different ways we all have sabotage our relationships without realizing it, through perpetuating and accepting the point of victimization coming from ourselves and/or others in our lives, that could have been stopped/avoided from the onset, by simply “Speaking up”. (Because saying the word boundary really, is too revered by most and should be looked at and redefined), So in post to come, I’ll open up the word boundary to see how I saw/see and have lived this word.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 705: A Debating Perspective

Where the thrill is in the debate, but when a solution is talked about we often want to run away, to not see or face ourselves as the solution in fact, because that would mean that we’re the problem, and would rather act as if we don’t know anything and there is no way to know or find out, plus if the real truth is known, there would be nothing else to talk about, so let’s just debate about it, as if to compare whose apple is the reddest, when there’s green pears on the other side of the fence that’s more sweeter, so to speak, but don’t want to go get them, (in essence not wanting to hear) out of the fear that something bad would happen, and that something bad in this case is, losing my ability to interest self into continuing to follow my free will, because I’m enjoying the sideshow.

From family conversations and debates growing up, to High School debating teams and being told that you’re a good talker, into believing that what you’re talking about is the truth, because of the way we word the scripts that we now got down to a science, to electoral colleges and candidates that only say thing that you want to hear, and stay away from that in which we should hear, that everything is f***** up and we all are the problem, but who wants to hear a negative speaker over the loud speaker out loud, I’d rather plug my ear, because they can’t be talking about me now, when all I want to do is to be free, but in the sense of not having to work and live life on vacation, that would vacate the promise I made to life, but don’t remember, while stuck in a splinter of a minds design, and listening to my mind saying that everything’s fine, and all we have to do is keep kicking the ball back and forth, and keep debating until the problem sorts itself out, like putting a band aide on a broken arm that’s the long arm of the Law, to giving us the watered down version, as things that I’ve seen thus far.

But it’s not about those in power, it’s easy to blame the establishment, instead of establishing a solid foundation for self to live in, meaning seeing within oneself what needs to be fixed and fixing the problem that we’ve created and only debated about, as their problem, a preliminary point of blame that’s hateful in fact, because what I realized is that in order to act out the hate you have to blame someone first, that’s why we like the idea of having someone in control, so when the s*** hits the fan, God bless their soul, it’s better them than me is our mentality, where conversations like this is not discussed, but casually pushed aside whenever it comes up, with the claim of being overwhelmed, I wasn’t looking for help like that, that’s too much to think about, I’m not ready for that, which in some cases may be true, but who’s really saying that, is it your mind or you on “A Debating Perspective?

Thanks for reading.

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Day 704: Doing it For Me

When listening to This interview, close to the end of it, an interesting point came up of doing things for ourselves, in relation to changing oneself, experiencing the change (in essence) within oneself and wanting to go tell others, like look at me, I’m changing” but a touchy subject this is, for most when claiming that everything I do is for me, or is it?

From the clothes we put on, to the way we dress our hair, in certain moments of not being Here with ourselves, from what we buy, to what we drive and the house we chose to live in and the stuff in it, even if no one sees it, is it really for our comfort or because we’ve seen and/or heard that someone else has the same thing and want to show it off, that makes what we do, for the approval of others, as a validating factor of my continuation in what I’m doing and/or trying to perpetuate, I mean what came up when listening to this singular point, is in fact what was being discussed, but also how I have experienced not doing things for me, in so many different levels, and in ways that I can see has happened to me (and others) in my world, which is evident that we’ve all at some point or another been down and/or still going down that road, with others in mind, instead of minding our own, Doing it for Me (in essence), which ultimately boils down to Changing me for Me.

Interesting how after a conversation with someone in our world, about what we’ve realized and now doing about it, what tends to happen is a total disconnect, (that I’ve experienced) brought on as the overwhelming factor of what we said, that was asked about and or pushed to the point of conversing about, meaning, when/if someone is adamant about sharing with you what they believe, then look for your approval, and when it’s not given, they go one step further with the continuation of their structured belief system, as if to force it upon you, one has no choice but to share one’s own common sense reasoning, through the realizations one has gain while walking the point of change, I mean after the point do we say well you asked, or just leave it at that, when in fact how long could one actually stand by and not speak up for oneself, especially if one has been down that road before, point being afterwards We/I tend to go into my mind, thinking if what I said was too much, which opens back up the point of, “who am I doing this for’, “Why am I second guessing what I said”, when what I said, is what I’m living – and so evident the ball is now in their court, and they just so happen to take their ball and go home (so to speak), for whatever reason or another, and there’s nothing one can do about it, but to continue doing what was talked about, for me.

I mean throughout my life the point of doing thing for me, was always overshadows by what others would think about what I’m doing and/or have done, so in the process thereof, I would relinquish part of my presence of being here, while doing what’s Here, to the idea of, others matter more than I do, so instead of doing it for me, I would do it for you, and kept this mentality, that at times I still find shining through me, but covered and dressed up in a nice sealed pack of saying to myself; “I’m just seeing if I’m on track, and where I’m at in my process”, which is cool, but when one starts attaching the energy behind it with feeling and emotions, that’s where the problem come in and lie, until we lie to ourselves that we don’t have a problem, but feel a few different ways when people don’t like and like what we do. Therefore, the correction would be;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself, thinking that it’s not a problem to bring up others when doing things for me, where instead of see/realizing/understanding everything I do should be for me, I give others the final say so in my mind, with the subtle statements coming up of; “What will they think” and ”How will they feel about what I’m doing”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when realizing myself changing for the better, instead of letting it show as an expression of my resolve, want to go and tell other; “Look at me, I’m changing”, by way of conversation and/or perpetuated act that characterizes a different walk/strut or tonality in my voice, outside of what I now talk about, understand and realize, which is still not totally doing it for me, but for the approval of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have superficially dressed up for others and not for myself, as a validating factor that I use to expedite the point of Self-Acceptance, where second guessing oneself is evident, that’s a question mark for Self-Trust and Appreciation, and goes for other points in my life as well, that I believed validation was warranted and necessary, but only brought on by the Egos necessity to take its revenge out on me, at the most unforeseen time in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the strife I cause myself, but playing this game with myself of wanting others to like what I do, into asking how I did it, as a conversation piece, because other than that, I would have nothing else to say about me, that’s short lived when realized who’s the point of what I do but me, then correcting what I do, because I’m doing it for me. And so, on and so forth, to placing every reason we chose to not do things for ourselves, but in light of everyone else, onto the table and correct it through Self-Forgiveness.

So, doesn’t it really matter if you’re liked or disliked, or that you’ve changed, if you’re not living it in your life, for yourself that needs no validation or help when walking your process in your own location by yourself, I think not, therefore ‘Doing it for me”, is all I got.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 703: From Self-Seclusion to Self-Inclusion

Because we’re so apt to not invite Self along in everything we do, even when we’re alone with ourselves by our Self, we’re still a long way away from standing equal to and one with Self in fact, in a nut shell, what has become evident is the blatant disregard of our bodies through secluding ourselves away from our Self, in the flesh which is Self unequivocally, in essence more than just eating vegetables and working out that counts as a regard when disregard is at play, because the relationship we’re having with our minds is like a charred stain that won’t come out, unless we include self without any doubt, that this is all me and I am Here with no more fear of standing up and participating with others in my world unconditionally.

Saying to oneself that I can face everything alone, is like listening to a constant drumroll of thoughts that don’t stop, then lose ourselves while sitting in the same spot, surrounded by four walls inside a box and believe we’re comfortable and in control, while pressing play on the remote control of our lives, thinking these are the days of our lives well spent, or is it just the process of being hell bent on spending our life alone.

Listening to sad songs that makes you cry, when one is alone and in a bad mood, ready to face our day in a do or die situation, I do it because I have and I’ll die if I don’t, which has some validity to it, being that we’ve made this world and our own about survival, and in our own, survival is but an idea surrounded by the fear that it’s possible for someone to harm us, because we watch TV and see it on the News, so I’d rather seclude myself away from others, instead of creating, then going out and experiencing the life I really want to live.

I’ve selected to curse myself with a mind, that defines the seclusion we experience for most part, trapped within the art of self-interest, drawing pictures and painting my world with vivid colors and nice people that I can talk to in my head, that won’t talk back to me, and listen to everything I say and give me answers I want to hear, even when I’m within the fear of anger and yelling a the voices in my head, there’s no rebuttal, because I’m unaware of the pain that comes up so subtly, then blame it on being sick, then get sick and victimize myself to the inclusion of everyone else, and repeat these steps to the death of me. But where’s the freedom in that, better yet where’s the ownership that we all at some point have done this in our lives without correction, but now claim that only crazy people do that, without looking in the mirror at oneself, because evidently our life is fine at the moment.

The ask for help/assistance or support is short lived, when thinking that I can sort this out by myself, because I don’t want others to know what I’m going through, that’s most likely going through or have been through the same thing and what’s better than two or more in my name, slogan, meaning I am = we are and can converse and share ourselves in the process of understanding and getting to know ourselves, to correcting what we now see and know about us, individually and independently that was brought on by more than just me assisting one another. So, in fact it may take a village to feed on child, and a nation to feed a village or just a few like minded individuals to spawn the standing up for life, openly and without fear, that would include the whole of the masses of humanity, which includes you and me, that will change our history of separation and seclusion forever, to the inclusion and creation of a world that’s best for all Life equally.

But what about me? I have lived these points of seclusion throughout my life for a considerable amount of time, with again no consideration of my Self, meaning the interaction that I mentally and physically needed was short lived by the idea of getting to a point of thinking that the world owed me something, because of what I put myself through, (that we all do and don’t want to admit it) so I could either take it or leave it, meaning I would rather be alone and not have to deal with or face others, unless they came to me, that would be the only way I would open up to others, so I surrounded myself with things to do and places to go (as again, we all do), but no people to meet, because I was with me, the me of my mind that kept me company and accompanied me everywhere I went, and end up, falling behind the times and couldn’t tell you one thing that was going on in the world, better yet in my immediate environment, in which I locked myself out of plenty of substantial opportunities that could have, (and in hindsight) would have made my life that much better and more comfortable in a way, but I didn’t see it by wanting to stay within the seclusion of me.

Simply because I was soaking in and hold onto every confrontation and situation of things that didn’t go right in my life, to the point of being possessed by them in victimization of them that got me nowhere, and until I realized that this was complicating things for me, did I stand up from within it – that I had to let these things go unconditionally, but of course not without a bit of help/assistance from self to keep looking and fine what resonated with me as Desteni, and with this came the tools needed to release myself from these possessions and suppressions, which is as simple as Self-Forgiveness and started walking my process of self-correction and change, to including myself, into and with myself in my world for the first time in a long time, and it feels great, and now share this space with people from around the world who feels the same way. Thanks for reading.

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