Day 890: Save Yourself

With bits and sprinkles of knowledge and information, we fall in formation with those who have gone before us, hustling to get the information out, because what was once foreign to us have now met open ears, to be filtered through and transformed into ideas/perceptions and beliefs, without knowing the ground rules so to speak, of what to do with it, so use it as talking point, with no understanding of how to practically apply this information into practical application in our own lives, to then bring ourselves out of the light and back into the dark (so to speak) from whence we came, as a living example that presents the share with no words needed, because evidently our starting point would be to “Save Ourselves”..

But oh what a ruthless act of pointing out the flaws in another, because the words we use are only a cover we discovered to hide the wrinkling thoughts we’ve conjured up about another in the back of our secret minds, where spite is the name of the game, but it’s ok because everyone is playing (so we think), looking for the reward of getting our way in the end or better yet Money the engine to momentary happiness until it’s gone, then back to thinking I need to be saved again and/or save someone else with a problem, without having corrected the problem I have with savings, within myself first.

I was once told that in order to get to all the good things that process have to offer, I must correct the bad that I existed as in my past first, wrapped in memories that causes me to react, that persecute the physical into experiencing pain, but interesting how only when you learn from your pain would you experience the gain or dare I say the gift for those who’ve chosen not to suppress it, but still then we think if we don’t experience anything, then everything is alright, which is much more than a lie, we’ve just become used to hiding it, and comfortable to the plight of thinking that “I Got it”, which is limiting in fact, due to process being done over a life time. Meaning when getting/understanding things, there’s always more to learn and expand on within and as myself.

Thing is, only when Asked, should we assist others to Seeing a little more of themselves/ourselves, instead of saying “Careful not to say or do this or that”, because how could you possible know what another is facing/have faced, unless you’ve walked along side them for some time, and still then we gave them the space to correct themselves/ourselves, to see/say “Hey I get it, I’ve made a mistake”, then move in direction of correction of the mistake that was made, because unless it’s a reminder how can we say what another already knows.

Now the fascinating part within it is a fine line in fact, where we turn “Bringing it back to self” into ‘what I would have done”, that I constantly remind myself of the things I’ve done and walked through and into realization to then be shared, where the words; “Some People/Them or They” is really a Superiority complex, I find for me, stating that I’m Perplexed about the state of my mind, so find things out about how others walk their process and process it in my own mind, thinking ‘Hmm’ maybe/could be/I can support them, without realizing how I’ve just placed myself on a pedestal or superiority above them instead standing equal to and one with and as them.

[Mantra] “I Can Only Assist and Support Another, If I Have Assisted and Supported Myself First”.

There is always more than meets the eye to someone else, when first stepping into getting to know them, more than just reading what they wrote in the moment or scrolling/trolling through pictures/blogs or post we’ve found of them, from them, thinking we’ve come up with an Honest assessment about them, which in this case is the Hard assessment of One’s own Self-Interest, like saying “If I was them I wouldn’t do that” and “look at what they’re doing” and “I don’t want to be around them”, as if one can really rub off on you, to having to go wash yourself, instead of Watching our Self, with what comes up in our minds about others, to so then use the tattle tale character as grown men and women to subtly spiting another saying “Oh Look what they’re doing”, so everyone in our circle can jumps on the bandwagon, all because of taking out of context what the person was trying to get across, as well as what they’re going through.

How easy it is to slip into a mind possession thinking I may need to help someone out, when I haven’t totally help myself out of my mind in the first place before thinking I can assist another, especially when the other knows what they know that’s unbeknownst to us, because we don’t have to walk their process, and even if we could wouldn’t want to walk what they face, so why is it we think we know what’s best for them or their purposeful purpose for doing what they do, instead of gifting ourselves the checking of our own reactions, where in fact I’ve reacted to most everything I haven’t corrected with myself, that makes it nearly impossible for me to walk another through what I haven’t corrected, therefore the savior complex should always be inverted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even while writing this blog go into a reaction, reacting to the savior character I’ve perpetuated in my life and at time still so, that’s easily excused as, just because I know self-forgiveness – doesn’t means I know what to do, or should ostracize you for what I think, about what I think you/another is doing or why, that’s an interesting dynamic because within that I’m lying to myself hiding behind the forefront of another’s flaws, that in the end causes more consequences in other ways for myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t taken the time to totally correct myself, before sharing the perception of what I think is going on in others world, and so have in times jumped on the bandwagon of what’s being shared, without investigating the point for myself first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in knowing how it feels on the other side of thing, still have chosen to be the perpetuator of thoughts/ideals/perceptions and beliefs, all in service of thinking about others instead of me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how it’s just as detrimental to self, rather writing thoughts/reaction or thinking them silently, it’s still the same effect on one that also needs correction.

Where all of this is based in energy, and where my inner reality is not looked at with clarity, because I accept and allow the idea of others to be present in my mind, and so find myself missing out on what’s really going on within myself, to then experiencing myself rushing to catch up with me, for the simple things I missed, that could have taking me one step closer to reaching my utmost potential, instead of adding time to my process.

Therefore, I commit myself to reeling myself back in, out of my mind about others, to so go fishing within myself to catch any personal reactions I may have about things in my world, to be corrected – that’s saving myself from drowning in a self-created emotional experience of doubt about what I think is going on to so equalize myself back into saving me.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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1 Response to Day 890: Save Yourself

  1. mijn reis naar leven says:

    Awesome blog, thank you!

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