Day 888: Energetic Value (I See)

Images are like actual incidents in cadence with the mind when reacted to, like looking at an old picture that houses happy memories, then comes the smile, and the feeling we get from it, that turns into wanting to relive it, and go back to the same experience we had in those times, that I allow to take me away from being here, because I’ve given energetic value to it.

The same as a bad/negative reaction to a picture in my mind of an incident I had with another in my past that has surfaced in my present, then comes the frown, connected to an emotion and a down feeling, as if to blame them for being the reason I’m experiencing myself in such a way, which is not the case, because I’ve given energetic value to it, and so placed myself in a possessive mind state, because I didn’t correct the incident within myself first, completely, to so let go of it unconditionally, releasing the energy from within me in order to see it for what it is, just a shaking up of resistance within and as me, that I let create my value to energy when seeing this picture.

Interesting how the things we value are material at best, before valuing a friendship that’s best for me, where I’ve valued friendships for self-interested reasons, instead of seeing the true meaning of what a friend really is, as someone who’s quick to walk through a reaction with you, that’s supportive for the both and keeps the friendship alive, that takes no energy to be on the same side, I mean it’s kind of hard to deny someone who mirrors the best of you, and will talk through with you the worst of you both, although most friendships are kept for energetic value, I value all my friendships that has no energy, that takes no energy to say what you want to say, and when you want to say it is always the best time, but it’s best to watch the words that comes out of our mouths, because the energetic value we give to them is shown within the tonality in which it’s presented, like using ALL CAPS when texting a friend, instead of calling them and telling them what’s really on your mind, and then comes a belief, “I don’t need them in my life”, until the energy dies out and boredom set in, then back to making an excuse to connect back with a friend.

Then there’s an energetic value I’ve given to time, where what comes up is the rush of things I do in my mind, chasing after the energy of a stressful feeling, and/or rushing to get to a perceived happy time, plus the point of acting on, “Time is of the Essence”, brings forth the bubbling in anticipation to get things done, instead of valuing the walk through at a consistent slow pace, I energize the point when starting too late, as if to debate whether or not I have time to do it later, that’s overcome by resistance, to being press for time, transforming patience into a form of desperation, negating waiting to playing a game of hurry up and wait.

From the clothes we wear, to the cars we drive, and the houses we own that most of us rent, is a testament in type and style the energetic value we give to it, where growing up it was, “Stay out of the dining room”, and “Don’t use the dishes the China Cabinet”, that turned into, “Don’t touch my stuff and “Stay out of my room”, and “If I catch you I’m telling momma on you”, that we took with us into adulthood, and call this keeping my property safe, that has manifested the world into an unsafe place, because everything we have we put on display, to see if others would value it the way we do, just to suck off of the energy from seeing their face, but if they’re expressionless we experience dismay, all because our level of excitement wasn’t reciprocated.

Being that energy is created through friction and conflict, we value the friction and conflicts we go into, unaware how this energy is to our demise, but still choose to step into it just to say “I’m right”, to win and argument or a fight with another, for others to say “Man they’re not playing”, then walk away pumped up with Hot Air Energy, Valuing the stance we think we took, but more so a romance with falling down, because the energy we’ve gathered will soon run out, finding ourselves in a depressive state, waiting for Energy to come and save our day, and so Value it

So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put an Energetic Value to the things I like/cherish and hold dear, that moves me into a happy state of being, not seeing that if I think I need to cherish or hold dear something, then I’m not standing equal to and one with what it is, but accepting and allowing the fear of loss to be present, thinking “if I lose this, I won’t be the same”, that shows how I’ve became possessed by all my possessions, through clinging onto them as if my life depended on it, from material things and even people/friends in my world, not realizing how I was diminishing my own Self-Value, and valuing the depreciating of my own Self-Worth, for self-interested reasons I gave more value to things, claiming with these things I feel completed, but completely missing the point of ‘All as me’, that these things Are me I just externalized, to get an Energetic rise from whenever I saw fit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an energetic experience around the energetic value I’ve given to some of the things I see, as if just looking at them unconditionally was not an option, and so at times became overly opinionate and emotional about these things, instead of remaining stable about them within my beingness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times not see, the slight moments I lose stability when energizing things that come up in my presence, from knowledge and information to looking at another person, as if I’ve rehearsed slipping into an energetic mind state, so seamlessly it seem to be a natural occurrence, until I’m assisted back to the present by the cross-referencing of pain, I mean in ashamed how it takes pain for some of us to be here, and so here I stand correcting the point.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize how it’s really painful in the long run to continue placing an Energetic Value onto things, that sucks the energy right out of the physical, to feeling depleted after the energy is go, then cycle myself back into the same experience again.

I see/realize/understand that even though for me, it’s being done on a subtle level, it still behooves me to continue to correct these subtle occurrences, as if they are still big, that way when walking and participating in my world day to day, I’m more alert and aware of my physical experience, and so emplace from Energetic Value replaced by Self-Value, the stability I’ve placed upon myself, to be able to Value the gift given from seeing/looking at things, that would show if I have corrected or need to correct a point.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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