Day 882: Family + Humility

Often times we’re quick to dismiss family/family members as, they’re just like that, not considering we may be seen as the same in their eyes as well, from leaving home, away from family to only visiting every once and a while, thing is we tend to want to pick up where we left off, so if it ended in conflict, we’ll pick up with being timid, and if it ended with a happy/fun memory, that’s where we would want to pick up at with them, but interesting how if anything changes with them outside of what we once defined them as, that sort of alters our definition of them, we’re quick to think/say that’s not who you are, in exchange for impressing our certain change upon them, where in most cases, we present ourselves as having learned to the tee, all that was taught to us/forced upon us growing up, as the modality in which we should live by, that’s quite limiting I might add, and so stay within idea/perception and belief (with a few minor adjustments) of what was deemed as the norm for how we all grew up, and call this expanding ourselves.

While in the mean time the only thing that has grown is our self-interested Ego, (That I have experienced) mastered in personality and character, thinking my only responsibility was to stay within this limited point of view, but boy was I wrong. The disassociation and wanting to get away from… was eventually short lived when moving from place to place with part time friends and relationships that didn’t really mean a thing to me, because I simply didn’t have a relationship with myself, therefore everytime I would go into a relationship, it would fail, that showed in hindsight how I needed to go back and correct my initial relationships of the past, to so create a substantial one with myself first.

I mean it’s a humbling experience when you get to a point of having said all you can say to someone, under the guise that they do understand you, but don’t, where most conversations end up with blame being the name of the game, blaming the past one grew up in, to blaming the present in the position we’re currently in (that was blamed on the past), to blaming the future and the world for being a f***** up place, to giving up on one’s self for being in a f***** up space, not considering, “Hey wait a minute, how did I get to this point”, and for some, start crying claiming one misses home and our family, to getting over the sad energy by passively moving into the next happy energy experience we get ourselves into.

That’s just it, I often went from one energy experience to the next, and only when I found Desteni did I realize what I was doing, where lol the first person I was in contact with told me “When you’re ready to let go of these energy experiences we’re here for you”, and for some reason I broke down into tears in that moment, which I later on realized – showed how I had been neglecting myself on many levels, but back to the point.

Interesting how once I stared walking process, I became overzealous in wanting to share (more like tell) all my family members what I found, but from a starting point of debunking my past and/or wanting to show off, not realizing how by doing this would push them further and further away, that taught me a valuable lesson, thing was at the time I didn’t consider how I needed to rebuild a relationship with them, because as I mentioned, where I left them was how I still saw them, and so had separated myself from them and from whence I came.

Once I got to the consideration point (Of course after listening to “Friends and Family” by Alice Bailey) I then started the process of figuring me out, where I learned how my verbalization was shot in a sense, and so when communicating with others, it was all about someone else, and not a sharing about myself, with realizations I had and/or what I walked through/been through, but the things I had and can do, under the guise of having status, which states, Stay away from Us, to being all about me.

Since then I’ve slowly but surely started re-connecting back with my family, up till a recent visit I just had with a few of them, where I realized how for most part it was never really about them, but more so about me/us who choose to say “Well if they don’t reach out to me, I won’t reach out to them”, unless we unconditionally have and that’s another story, but interesting how it’s sort of a sense of relief (On both sides), when humbling oneself to being vulnerable to sharing what has happen since we departed away from each other, where they may see that, and become comfortable in doing the same, I mean all it takes is for one or the other to step up and share unconditionally, to have such a humbling experience, even if it becomes one sided, its still good for those of us that do. You may be surprised at how things may turn out for the betterment of all, when re-connecting with a family member/family.

So what I realize within the point of Family + Humility is that it helps to strengthen existing relationships in our own worlds, where a friend might be as a family member to you, that may open up a push to connect/correct with more people, because if just one of our relationships with someone is substantial, shows our ability to blueprint any relationship we choose to go into, that make for a better, more substantial relationship connection with each other, and so the world as a whole. Enjoy the process.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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