Day 865: Selective Reading, Selective Seeing, Selective Hearing

Lol, See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil is what comes up, as the preprogrammed validation to how we interpret things, where if all doesn’t resonate with my way of thinking in the moment, I accept my mind leaving out vital specifics, that would substantiate the parts that we do hear, before coming up with our own interpretation of what’s being said, thinking that we’ve understood something in it’s totality, but then after the fact when going back, see how we’re sadly mistaken for jumping to conclusions, including our own understanding as the ‘that’s all there is to it, when it’s not, that makes apologies and self-apologies a continuous thing, instead of continuing something that’s supportive to our well-being.

I mean for me, have a look, when going back over any of my/any one of our conversations with someone in our worlds, especially written text, it can be mind-blowing just how much is missed (being a point of support) and the context in which it was written, but what I find interesting is, if there’s any excitement or praise, or something to look forward to, most are quick to soak it up, but leave the rest to wither away in a way, like not reading the fine print, that also may state how we have gotten ourselves to this space/place and time, in our lives and how the experience of us (no matter what it is), shows in our expression, like things being written all over your face, that oddly enough shows in what we write as well.

Whether quick messages/chats or statements, I realize all things need to be look at carefully to be totally understood and not taken personal, and if not completely understood ask question, which is also a huge flaw of mine that comes up from time to time, but know the correction to it, so in time it will show that along with listening and/or reading attentively, I able to recap with certainty what I heard, read and understood thoroughly. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times read selectively, where I would (in a rush for no apparent reason) skim over what I see (reading), and only taken things I think is the sum to all that was/is written, and only go with a partial imprint of the information given for a quick response by me, with the idea to appease the other that I understood, but in a way stood under what was said, that went right over my head and now have to go back over it and correct myself, where I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how important recaps are, to show that I’m on track with the information given, especially when being directed towards me, and/or asked as a collective for a shared response, and if not understood to ask questions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Selectively see things in a sense of turning the other cheek to not see how I am existing a certain way, within reactions or having a pity party with all the bells and whistles, whistling dixie about how I’m messing up, being hard on myself, judging the things that I do and don’t do at times when I should or shouldn’t, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also at times only look at things that appeals to my self-interested Ego, that revenges my new inventions (points of creation), with the attempt to achieve them by way of old habit/patterns/behaviors, that ends up being another failed creation, because I didn’t look at the underlying specifics on how to correct my vision to see what I’m missing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed myself to selectively hear only what I want to hear and have at times cut down the volume on everything else, taking what I thought was the sum to it all and interpreting it in my own words that sounds good, but not the totality of what was said (at times), not realizing the distortion that can be created from it in the long run, when only stating bits and pieces of it, instead of all that was said, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave piece out of what’s been said when sharing it with others no matter what it was/is, because I only picked up on certain parts, and chose not to ask in the moment “What did you say”, and/or “Can you repeat that”, at which time (when re-shared) would undeniably be without doubt, a verbatim broadcast.

So, Responsibility lies within self to stand as you will, as I will stand every time I see what may be seen as a slight mishap within me, and so do the corrections, and for each our own, as this is what I see works best as a starting point to reaching my utmost potential, because we are all a work in progress in our own individual processes.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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