Day 855: Deflecting my Direction (Flipped Perspective)

I’ve spit myself into so many ways, spread thin into intersections of dismay, and so deflected the idea of bringing myself back together, because I detected the comfort-ability that lies within resistance, and so enjoyed the rest of being a bum to responsibility, which is obvious, I clearly didn’t know which direction to take or what direction was for that matter, that defeated my purpose and posed a threat, to my sense of forgetfulness I never forget, or forgave myself for in retrospect, I’ve only perpetuated direction as an external thing, when giving it to others without first giving it to me, but I was good at it, I knew exactly how to lead, with what I did know I thought complemented me, I could follow orders on how to give orders to others, but never ordered a change to the imbecilic me, back then I was betting on concealing my flaws as much as I saw that was externalized to, like the way I dressed if something was out of place, I would cover it up to look a different way, or change the direction in which I stood, as if to point out the flaws of somebody else, which eventually made me the point being talked about, because of the way I sought out deflecting my direction.

It’s hard to mustard up the courage to do something else, especially when what we’re doing seems to be working so well, so we block it, trying to blot it out of our minds, just to find it was really something we needed to see, like a second chance at directing me, that we long for but think it’s too hard to achieve, so instead of rolling up our sleeves and getting down to business, we complain, I need to know a little more about it and let doubt set in as the consequences accumulate, and hopefully it’s not too late to start right now, in telling oneself, I am the point of direction, and dictator of defining my life accordingly, according to living in an orderly fashion, and fashioning my mind to doing what’s best for all, so when all else fails I’m standing tall, in the sense of having molded my foundation out of bedrock.

I’ve placed myself in such a tight spot plenty of times, squeezing through my imperfections, because I’m perfect at disconnecting myself from taking the point of direction in action, that’s a massive disconnection from me, to supplementing it for the desire to feel free of responsibility, that’s the acceptance in design of doing nothing, but noting down how we don’t really feel like it, in spite of knowing it’s something we need to do, that clues the direction in which we should take, for each one in our very own way – to pay attention to the details that swells our understanding on how to stand as director in moments of panting and pacing around with our hearts racing, that mostly take place when anxiety strikes and anxiety strikes when the tight spot becomes a restriction, we simply make it hard for us to listen and breathe, when allowing our mind to dis-ease our direction, that actually starts with a more simpler point of deflection.

Where with word, we’re so apt to question a question in conversation with others in our worlds, where if it’s something we’re not ready to answer, our answer would be the same question back to them, the spotting of spite despite the importance of knowing, that what they’re asking need to be talked about, especially in relationships with careful consideration, do consider our best interest might be at play, and although for most part it’s out of concern, a wall of worry sometimes dampens our starting point, which allows deflection to come up rampantly, uncontrollably because we’re not directing ourselves, on both ends our direction should be the clearing of points, and walk away leaving no stone unturned, that way when the mind sits in a director’s chair we make sure “Assistant” is in front of it.

Standing equal to and one with the point of deflection in self-honesty, is a point of directing the context of what’s being presented, like getting to a point without being interrupted, because we all know how we like to take thing out of context, before they’re finished being talked about, before the point is made, and so need to be reminded to stay away from our beliefs, that thieves our understanding of what’s said thus far, so the deflection is “Hold on one moment” and to “Here a person out”, that way we can then direct the information we received, in it’s entirety to choose the best value for me, in which case deflection can be used constructively, as a point of directing what we’re trying to get across in all honesty.

What I realize is (At times) both directing and deflecting goes hand and hand, in certain situations where both are required, and if we’re directing each situation to the best of our ability, we’re accepting all that we’ve deflected, to see within others, who shows us a replicated mirrored image of ourselves, and to deflect this is like turning a blind eye to our self-growth potential, that’s instrumental to the process in which I’m walking, learning how to be the sole Director of me. And that’s all I have to say about that for now, as I am a work in progress. Direct Yourself!!

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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