Day 846: Taking Responsibility for the Experience of Me

The sayings “Step up” and/or “Break a Leg” are two idioms synonymous for ‘take care’ and ‘do a good job’ where giving it all you got is my bests in action and the ability to respond is a well needed attachment, in fact when taking responsibility the experience of me is glee, because it’s me actually correcting and changing every part of me, every morsel, every molecule, way down to the bone gristle, I mean it’s fickle to think we can’t reach our utmost potential, and mental to believe that this process is simple, when haven’t never taken responsibility before, but gored through every situation I didn’t understand, and ignored every opportunity to direct it effectively.

We become sad because we picture ourselves in such a horrible light, unable to explain what we see in our minds, and so fiend for understanding that’s quick to take us away, where everything we come across, we grab onto for safety, in fear of somehow being taken away, which makes the experience of me a crying shame, because of crying and ashamed of being afraid, of ‘what if’s’ and ‘could be’s and others might say, why is it that we judge ourselves this way, and project it onto others who think nothing about us, and doubt that we could ever change the experience of me, to living with myself knowing that I’m the creator of this, and if I’m the creator that salutes the possibility, that I also have it within me to change to who I am.

The belief that a red carpet should be laid out before you, or that heaven should open its doors and pour out its love, is a smudge that stains the way life should be lived, to give as you would like to receive and not just expect others to always give, I mean I lived that for so long on either end, giving all that I have without realizing what I had, that on either end perpetuates sadness from a self-positioning placement and can’t wait until we totally get back on our feet, to clean up the mess we’ve made in disbelief, that I could ever let things fall apart in the first place, but s*** happens the first time we fall apart, that creates the experience we find ourselves in.

They say take the good with the bad, because without the bad how do you justify the good, or better yet testify about the changes you’ve made, from rage to being calm, from reactive to being solemn, from f*ck you to no problem, it’s the experience of me that’s bothersome before a way is figured out, because we keep on getting mad, before ‘The’ way is figured out, and often times part ways with the resolution before it’s resolved, to believing this experience of me can’t be solved, so never evolve away from a place of complacency and so stay within a place of being comfortable permanently, it has to be a point of make belief that someone can live this way, in disbelief that my mistakes is the things that could save me.

Simply put, imagine an endangered species going extinct, unable to see what’s being done unto thee, then imagine finding out that it’s all your fault, with no one else to blame but what You “Thought”, where the realization thereof is exponential and instrument when waking up and realizing this for yourself, that all I ever done was create a life in shambles, no matter how much money I have/had we’ll ultimately go extinct, from not taking responsibility for the experience of me, but living within the idea of self-defeat, without realizing what we sow we definitely reap, and this is what’s creating the experience of me. Correction to come.

To be continued…

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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