Day 836: It Happens When You’re Alone (All One)

Skin deep and that’s it, we surface the purpose of thinking about other who’s not around, but sitting right next to us in spirit and even hear them talking back to us, in rebuttal to what we think they may think about what we’re thinking, sinking deeper into the perks of aloneness, that’s only lonely because we’re not prepared for the present of being here, where it’s clear to me now that this is where the thoughts of despair is formulated and premeditated upon, that makes it hard for one to get to know me, when preemptively attaching oneself to the green screen of ideas in a mean scene that’s unclear, because what we’re thinking about is just Not Here.

Then think, In my eyes I’m in control of everything, from the conversations I’ve been in, to the confrontations I’ve lost, I mean you can’t tell me nothing, because I’m the one talking and you’re just a ghost in a machine that’s subservient to me, in my mind a figment of imagination, that I imagine doing what I didn’t do or say what I didn’t say to you in real life, in spite of knowing my thoughts hold no weight, but make me feel better about myself.

Going into time out as a child, puts one into the corner of the mind to pout, and oh what a dangerous place this is, imagining the worst being done unto them, by you times ten and then some in their eyes, then build thick skin around the likes of others, to wanting to get even with them, but behind closed doors, that sores the infection we inflict upon ourselves, that’s a reflection of the s*** they took from you, that motherfucker’s the motherfucker we turned out to be, not once ever considering the point of self-honesty, and this is what happens when we’re all alone.

The organization of the mind is outrageous at times, when hanging out with a few things we call our friends, like Emotion that puts me in an Emo mood, and Feelings that stirs up the excitement in me and Reactions that have me running around in circles, that flirts with the idea of wanting to hurt something, courtesy of the acceptance we give to them, when no one else but you can read your own mind, in laymen’s terms we live this outrage in silence, but stay out of the way when reality strike, like staying out of the ghetto in the middle of the night, where we think something is sure bound to happen in the dark, and so close our eyes and dream on these things, then wake up hoping that the world has changed.

Not seeing that the world is one collective entity, with individuals in it that have no empathy and can’t see in to me I see, as a solution, and the thoughts we think is what causes pollution, like smog from a factory, we pollute others mind and whine about the crime we created ourselves, to shelving the possibility that we need help, that only comes when opening up the door for yourself, that starts when you’re alone all by yourself, investigating what comes up in our minds, and the correction is to all the proverbial lessons we’ve learned, that shakes loose the bubbles we’ve been bouncing around in, to becoming aware of ourselves in our own skin, and embracing the good/bad/ugly that got us to this point, as me.

Looking from the outside in is but a taste of realizing how far out I’ve been away from here, everytime I choose to point in the direction of another, creates one more layer that thickens the separation between me and my Self, that mostly happen when alone without any lash back, but on the same token, this aloneness is the point of bringing things back to self, with no excuses – as the gift of correcting oneself without interruption, that’s actually easier to do then tough being done.

Where all one have to do is to question one’s Self Positioning Placement to Self, by asking why are these thoughts prevalent in my mind, like how is it that I think others are in control of my feelings, when I’m the one who is in control of my feeling, or am I, and if not how do I control myself from reacting to what’s coming up in my mind, I mean I’ve been that person in so many ways that person, and still the same person asking my Self personal questions, that’s personable to me, about the persona’s I’ve created from the personalities I’ve embodied from the moment I opened my eyes.

So what happens when we’re alone is blueprinting how we live and what goes on in our everyday life, and when this point is corrected we start seeing things simplistically, in a complex world we create complexities about others, but to stop this I’ve looked into finding THIS that change the whole way I interact with me, when Alone I’ve learned to take self-responsibility, and now walking through changing every part of me, and that it. Check it out for yourself. Enjoy!

It happens when you’re alone.

Thanks for reading

About carltontedford

In Process.
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