Day 830: Who Is Self (Me)

Why are we so prone to addictions and reactions, always passively accepting what’s happening.? Is the core of me just defined by servitude, is it rude to say NO when knowing the truth? Have I designed my life to always be in the service of other, is it smothering to impress my feeling onto others? How is it that we really don’t know ourselves, when stepping into position that’s bad for Self? Who makes the choices that control our lives? Why isn’t everything just cut and dry, and plain and simple and not accidental, where simplicity is one of the most feared word in existence, in a sense of existing with no common sense and when told that we’re the problem we look in suspense, as if it’s the shock and awe treatment and wonder what was meant, by “I am the problem” when we are the Selves who created our problems, that looked for others to step in and solve them, while remaining Hardcore, Dead set in our ways, because these days it’s frowned upon to share VULNERABLY, that’s looked upon in stupidity – then stated “I wouldn’t put myself out there like that”, but blast the next person for doing the same to you, when the holy grail of Help is within the sharing of Self to others, in realizing how one is disconnected from the reality of Self, while in fact actually looking for the Self of Me.

We the people are all one Self in fact, that has separate ourselves from the Self we are, picking apart any connection points that held us together, by way of creating (And oddly enough) family comes first, when it’s not necessarily bad to put family first, but the worst of ourselves comes out when dealing with our families, where over time we become superficial with each other, scare to talk to one another as Self, so we compliment the S*** that they’ve worn plenty of times before to break the ice, while the real S*** is the stuff we ignore, then turn and walk away in sigh of relief, that I didn’t piss them off and got through the day, that suppresses any real feeling we may have towards them, and walk the rest of our life missing pieces of me.

Who is Self – the living breathing life force within you, that will not accept and allow anything less than who you are, and so do things in support of the beings ‘Life’ as you, with inflictions to circumvent the systems inside us, presenting a warning signal of pain, showing the points we need to change, where all we have to do is ask the question (to self), ‘what’s wrong with me, what am I missing’, and rest assured you’ll get the answer, and learn what it means to really trust self.

Interesting how pain is more healthy than bad for us, where at least you know when to go see the doctor (for what it’s worth), where the more it hurts, means the more we’ve suppressed the subtle nuances that was presented as aches, to now being possessed by a full on dis-ease, and need meds to attend to what’s ailing me, claiming I need to be fixed instead of fixing me, so run to the doctor to be propped up, but imagine (if you will) there was No warning signals at all and would see people just dropping on the floor in the mall, would we then stop and take notice of our Self’s well-being and support, which is actually the Flesh residing under our skin that supports each one equally as life in fact, a singularity manifested into life in fact, and the skeleton bone structure connects to the earth that grows with the earth as the earth manifest, that’s how we get taller, then deteriorate fast, from not listening to the self of our bodies in the past, but allowing our minds to long for leaving it here, and so disconnect ourselves from the Self that’s been Here.

Throughout my life I’ve been living as a selfless Self, and ‘Oh Boy’ what a selfish me, when the self of me I couldn’t see, and for the like of me I couldn’t be, and the rest of me lacked the recipe, to question me for the self I was, and all the above is my-self opening up with statements adjacent to what I perpetuated, instead of seeing things in reverse, in utilizing selfishness as a point of getting to know who self is, I created the worst self ever and called this being me.

To be continued…

About carltontedford

In Process.
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