Day 821: Worst Case Scenarios (Embrace the Past)

I embrace my imperfections, when living in a perfect world of images that thinks perfection is the way we alt to go, in wanting to be the perfect person, that separates us from being the person we alt to be, and so stimulates fear to reach perfectionism, by thinking other have it in for me, and call this professionalism, that shows how we create a worst case scenario for others in our world by stepping on their toes, on our way to the top, and top this off by surrounding ourselves with a barrier of people who Will bury us if we don’t do what we’re supposed to, deep into our own worst case scenarios.

The worst of us was born into the worst world ever, when spoken to for the first time and told to ‘shut up, you’re disrupting my thought process’, in unspoken words when speaking out loud, by a parent who was spot on in thinking they made a wrong decision to bring us into the world, and now responsible for the rebellion they fostered within us, through personality creation we became their worst case scenario when showing them the worst of themselves, that they tried to punish out of us and into submission – that we would let go of and soon forget, as a kid, then say I love you mom or dad, that stuck in their heads afterwards thinking what the hell have I done?

Thing is, we’re all the same, from our parents to us, to our children alike, preprogrammed to live within a system of survival, that makes us fear the worst when our survival is threatened, to thinking it’s a threat to question how we survive, so we threaten anyone who gets in our way, and stand there impaled into a mind of hate, closed off to reality in so many way, failing to embrace the past to see a way to change it, that after starts with correcting what we were thinking, and the blame we’ve perpetuated to other human-beings and things outside of ourselves that takes one breath, and self-forgiveness is the first steps out of this hell, and into living life as a responsible human-being, to watching things in our world change drastically, to that which is best for all life equally, and equally live with all without thinking the worst could happen. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when based in religion, think that I have accepted the devil within me, that made these worst case thoughts come up in my mind, that I created scenarios around, to fear myself being hurt and/or my life/freedom taken away from me, without realizing, as long as I fear the thoughts I exist as, I will never be free, meaning From Energy to Expression.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that it’s me standing in the need of correction, for the blame I perpetuate toward any others in my world, including any outside entities such as the devil or a God deity – that I deny responsibility for the scenarios I create in my mind, and feel the detrimental effects of, thinking if only I could see the worst, when not wanting to see the worst in me I’m doing to me, just in case I don’t like it, and so spite anyone who shows it to me, by thinking the worst about them, will I change, Where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think the worst about others, instead of correcting the worst in me/of me, that would pardon me from abdicating my responsibility onto others, because I’m responding with correcting the worst of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allow myself to follow the invention of “Thinking the worst and hope for the best”, as if any best case scenario would come from thinking the worst, where the inversion thereof is the reverse of the same, and so live in verses instead of the living words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to coerce me into believing my body is crazy, for the pain I feel, when inflicting it onto myself, by way of creating my reality around worst case scenarios, believing them, becoming anxious/nervous and fearful of the idea of something happening, that I didn’t realize had an adverse effect on the reality I/we now live in, and so only now choosing to correct this untimely creation, so in time as my world change, so will this one, that starts with each one of us doing the same. and so on and so forth, for each individual specifically for our individualized worst case scenarios we create in our mind and project onto others in our worlds, that houses illusions of grandeur.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how these illusions of grandeur I bring up in my mind as worst case scenarios, disrupts the very core of me into experiencing dis-ease and so want to take medicine, that only suppresses this dis-ease even more within me, that after it’s all said and done, may end in hospitalization for some of us, that can easily be circumvented with immediate self-correction, when and as I experience anxiousness, nervousness and fear from the thought I allow to come up in my mind, in a moment of doubt through self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt the power I have to correct myself when moving through a minefield of thought, and so allow hopelessness to set in that lead to a point of giving up, So;

When and as I see myself thinking/perceiving/believing that I’ve realized something, that comes in the form of a worst case scenario, seemingly so real, because I’ve accepted the picture presentation from my mind, that all is bad, in hopes that It’s not, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand how this thinking is disruptive to my well-being and so detrimental to my physical body, that have and adverse effect on/to/towards myself first and foremost and people in my world, that what I’m doing is feeding the system of conflict, that spreads throughout this world as a whole and manifest the dislike of one another onto us, into separating ourselves from ourselves, in becoming a mind circuit that’s being mined for energy, but don’t want see it, hear it, nor know about it, because that’s too deep for me, therefore;

I commit myself to waking myself up from this slumbering slump that I’m in, every time I accept and allow my mind to think the worst could happen, by taking more moments like this one to investigate what’s coming up within and as me, that causes unrest in my life – to from here no further will I accept and allow myself to continue creating as the worst of me, in thought/words/deed, but to instead correct the worst of me, so that I may experience the best that life has to offer, as the best of me, in my world and reality and so this world as a whole.

Thanks for reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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