Day 805: The Desert of Me

Is it deserving that we have deserted ourselves into a field of dreams, while starving our bodies in the non-consideration of our well-being and being well with it, baron and desolate, disassociating ourselves from the speak easy in self communicating in self-trust of me? Giving way to technology at our finger tips and creating big machines, instead of planting a tree, the tree of life in fact that resides inside each and every human being, all of us, that stands in our stead when we’re not able to stand for ourselves on feeble legs, that’s a notable occurrence when noticing how we’ve separated ourselves from bringing things back to self, from which they stem.

Simply put our roots needs nourishing, in order to flourish into our utmost potential, that’s as simple as correcting the patterns as reactions we exist as, when thinking/perceiving/believing what we see in this field of dreams is real, but miss the obvious that our sight is filled with dust molecule that blinds us from seeing just how much we have deserted ourselves, running away from all problems, wasted opportunities that causes ones physical body to deteriorate, while wanting to remain wrinkle free, with colored dye to cover up the gray signal protruding out of our face and head hair – that we’re thinking too much.

Where have all the pure essence gone in our bodies, the same as saying where have all the trees/plants/flowers and algae gone in the deserts, that’s now remnants of life that desperately need to be cared for, just as the human physical body desperately needs to be cared for, more than just eating good and taking supplements, green drinks and lemon flushes, that won’t correct the amount of ‘stuff’ we’ve subjected our physical to, mentally, with every thought we think, every emotion we experience, every feeling we have and every reaction we perpetuate, it creates a deserted space of deterioration within this form of life (our bodies) that’s been carrying us around life after life, I mean speaking of unconditionality, Life is it, and not an idea/way of living, but the ‘Physical’ in fact, that we so often try running away from, to attain, “Heavenly Glory”, that can be achieved right here, just as long as I/we bring the desert of me/the deserts of we, back to self and into life.

Coughing up dust clouds, because I fail to intake the amount of water needed for my body to function correctly, interrupts the connectivity with joints/muscles and organs, that’s unseen, as we hustle to the doctor for a treatment of quick fixes, instead of fixing a glass of water for me to drink, is unacceptable to the body and probably do more damage than good, I mean why is it that the Doctors kids never needs to go to the Doctor, is it maybe because the Doctor knows the detriment of his or her own practice, and so practice preventative measures in their own home, the same as preventing oneself from being alone and self out stretched, the self-ostracization that’s far-fetched, because of not seeing it yet, that can be retractable, if the refraction I promoted is demoted through substantial Self-Forgiveness and bear witness to living the change thereof. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desert myself into a field of dreams, where things seem crystal clear and clean to me, but just down the road in my mind, I see the facade it is, that covers up the dust on the desert floor I’m choosing to stand on/in and with as, within myself., that will eventually wash away, because it’s not stable or suitable for structure/s.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize the mirage I’m standing in, only shade my mind from the exposure thereof, that makes it hard for me to see the way back to who I really am, because of the smoke screen, as dust storm/cloud I blow off and behind me hasn’t dissipated yet and so live with foggy ideas/perceptions and beliefs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disassociate myself through subtle occurrence, from the reality I come to know oh so well, that has gotten me to the point of standing up and walking my process thus far and for so long, thinking I got things down pat, because of receiving validation from others in my world, that loves the stories I tell, and so found myself slowly slipping away from the real me/who I am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the label of anointed godhood in fact, without realizing how I was Going Down the wrong track, with no tact in my communication methods and felt blessed when others think that I’m something else, and so attend to the attention I get from them and in the end find myself suspended with no friends, because I hadn’t once (really) befriended myself, but befriended the idea that I’m the last one left, in disregard of those whose been walking along side, and so now feel the need to hide my face, in disgrace for the way I acted out my reality, and just now seeing a way out of this maze (mess).

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that I am actually blessed, in the sense of having the tool to behest the Character Personalities I exist as, into extinction and alleviate the friction I caused between myself and others in my world, and so, I hereby take a world of responsibility for my acceptances and allowances and to continuous move forward from here on out.

And from there the specificity within the desertion of me, comes in for each one alike, detailed that we only know best ourselves and self-honesty is the key, because it’s not up to me to point out points I need to work on within myself, into the projection of others, as a protection and defense mechanism of my own slumber-ness – that Yes we ALL are a work/walk in progress.

And so, the Answer to my initial question is “Not it’s Not” (Deserving).

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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