Day 799: ‘Used by You’ (On Going)

Domination is never a factor per se, but a point of submission given, that’s given in a moment of weakness or addiction, addicted to a feeling, sought after to compensate for the lack of self-intimacy one should give to oneself before falling victim to the plight of usury and abusiveness, reciting the lyrics “Some of them want to abuse you”, “Some of them want to be used by you”, and “Some them want to be abused”, defining such as sweet dreams, and after the two minute drill of pleasure is complete, feel incomplete and depleted and want a cigarette to contemplate on what the F*** I’ve just done, for nothing. [Ring a bell!].

All in a moment of enjoying the perks of hell, that twerks our body into feeling useless as hell, and so want to get away, when coming back to reality, thinking that this reality is the cause of it all, when all in this reality cause our own hell, by using others and different things to advance our advantage, never taking the opportunity to advance one another, but see the girl in the red dress as a piece of meat and the guy in the red shoes as your saving grace, to be milked for goods.

Vampires in fact, with admirers we gain using the reel in affect as our picture perfect presentation, but behind the mask is a horrific mind, on either side where the deception runs deep, then go to sleep and have lucid dreams about being a predator, that’s a connection point created through the eyes of the mind, while thinking, this is the best God send of all time, then with nerves of steel look towards the heavens with clasped hands saying “Thank you” for sending me an “Angel”. Like really!

But little do we know the S*** we just got ourselves into, that shows how s*** for brains we really are when making decisions, like the decision being made on how this all relates to the point of Usury, that ‘I had no clue that I’ve been using you’, after the point comes out in the form of a break up, then wonder how can we make up the mistakes we’ve made, that’s already been made up, but in the wrong way, so forget about it and start correcting yourself today. Therefore, the correction would be;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be subject to the point of usury, for using self-interest to my advantage, instead of taking the opportunity to advance my relationships and that with another in a productive way, and stay with the bounds of both being ready player ones.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe in being ready for anything, without proper preparation, the equation of self-acceptance and understanding through investigation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission through the eyes of addiction, to attain a feeling of energetic proportion, where the more I desire the more I lose sight on being intimate with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overlook the point of being used by you, in hopes that the using would be a mutual thing, that always end in confusion, because of the abuse that’s accepted on either end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been the engine that brought down a sinking ship for allowing myself to be overly used, and abused with the idea that another would reciprocate, once I’ve done so much of what they’ve asked that never happened, and I never ask the question as to why am I allowing this to be done to me, and so became comfortable with being used – that abuses the point of being comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept victimhood in a strange fantastical way, as a collective with estranged ways of doing things, in role playing, rolling around in our minds in search to find someone else to excite our togetherness, but that’s a secret no one should know about, that most have done that needs to be corrected, except when the fantasy is about you and me, with no attachments to the point of usury.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and Use, ‘Using’ a moment to take the opportunity to give as I would like to receive, that would insinuate the point of USE’ being US being Enough for one another, in any type of Friendship/Relationship/Partnership you’re in, as a definitive factor in the redefinition of Use, because it has always in all ways been Us anyway.

Point being the usury of self is projected outwards, that’s not seen to have an avid effect on the user in fact, because the energy feels great, but a point of pain we can’t see – that’s why in the midst of pleasure a lonely tear rolls down your cheek, and claim I’m in love. Think not, but to Correct, as “I” am a work in progress in every aspect of the words I speak.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org

About carltontedford

In Process.
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