Day 780: Rushing into a Familiar Pattern

More related to jumping to conclusions, then wanting to make a statement because of the idea that things are different than what they are, where the pattern of becoming angst supersedes the common sense of patience when things are already set in place for one to walk right into, which is really a fix of energy, wanting to be certain and for sure when certainty has already been established, and so compromise oneself within a mild momentary mind possession, that could have been avoided, within a moment of instability. It’s like ‘come on man, why did you just do that, you know better’ that requires my immediate correction, and apologies to the persons we direct it towards, and/or involve within, with or without their knowledge, All the time.

Although some things may seem small, that needs no correction, if not corrected correctly, may accumulate into something bigger, leading you back down the road from whence you came = no matter how small the problem may be, all at some point needs correcting.

Why do we impress upon others our own uncertainty with urgency, just to realize it wasn’t worth it, then become nervous with what a mistake we’ve made, when realizing I just repeated the same pattern again, where within this process, the mind rest on assumptions and some of us miss the obvious at times, although we’re familiar with this patterns design, we trap ourselves within the ‘Web’ thereof, like rubbing salt on a self-created womb and closing it back up with the tingling still there.

The self-manipulating factor that you did nothing wrong is the sheer reason why these things needs to be corrected, where when you say to yourself, I did nothing wrong, you bypass the opportunity of self-correction, therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to excuse a point of occurrence with uncertainty, when certainty was already set in place for me to walk right into, but instead followed the idea in my mind that I needed to make sure, and in turn made an irrational decision within a moment of instability to reach out to someone, asking an already answered question.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question myself, when seeing myself going into a mild mind possession about something that was already set in stone, and/or approved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my uncertainty onto others, in order to satisfy and validate the state I was in, instead of protecting my stability by checking in with myself when experiencing this emotion within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let emotions cloud my judgement in clarity of seeing and/or remembering a response that was already given to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to with such a vast memory, momentarily choose not to remember, something as important as a response already given to me, that it was ok to do something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself rest on the assumptions of my mind, instead of the steadfastness of my will, and will myself to remember the important things that matter, in my life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the underlying point of fear within it all, that was from something totally different, that really had nothing to do with the point of me wanting to be certain, when I should have been self-correcting.

I mean it easy to uncover a point that’s already been walked, that we hide behind the fear and/or expectation of things being a certain way, when walking into a familiar place with familiar people, everything comes rushing back and out the wood works, lol, from “what ifs” to wonderment, that makes no common sense for us to even bring up again, but we do, so for every “do” that I do, I’ll have a correction for.

When and as I see myself rushing back into an ‘Oh so’ familiar pattern, that could have been avoided, I stop and breathe. I see realize understand that, old habit come rushing back fast, when I don’t take the time to check within myself to correct what’s coming up within and as me, that has nothing to do with making a decision that’s irrational in a moment of instability/mind-possession, that compromises my steadfastness within the process I’m walking, therefore;

I commit myself to slowing myself down, and checking in with myself when I see/feel this uncertainty coming up within and as me, to stop what I’m doing and see where this is coming from and simply correct it.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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