Day 776: A Dark Perspective

On many levels this word is a hush hush topic, outside of the statement; “It’s Dark outside” and/or Dark Chocolate candy, lol, where we love it at times, and others, dread being associated with it, so pardon me if I offend anyone for what I may have to say, about what I see as a point needing to be corrected, in my own life, world and reality, enjoy.

Spooky it is, with Big eyes piercing through the dark with black skin, and called a jigaboo, because I like to dance and look different than you, but don’t get offended, I blend in with the darkness of the night, but just as scared as you, in fear of something or someone darker than me coming to take my life, that I can’t see, but Believe have it in for me, because we were raised Afraid of what we couldn’t comprehend and that’s just the beginning, but eat, shit, think and sleep all the same.

“Step out of the darkness and into the light, so I can see you”, (they say) or better yet the illusion of who we’ve made ourselves out to be and hide behind, as an acceptable picture that’s pleasing to the eye, connected to sockets of lust, and addicted to frustration when I can’t have what I see, and so the dark side of me comes out, that scribbles all over the picture, because if I can’t have it nobody can, no matter what color you are, we all have done this.

Let’s open up the Darkside that’s sparked by anger, in looking to take revenge out on something or someone, we feel has threatened our self-interest, and existence of an Self tainted with fear, thinking that it’s healthy to be scared of change, and so remain light hearted when walking through the dark times in our lives, that’s filled with justification in spite of knowing this is not the best of me, where the rest of me is spread thin throughout memories of a past I still hold onto, and haven’t totally let go of yet, unconditionally, to simply just be with me Here.

Seen as shade or a cover of sorts, is the perception of hiding something behind it, ‘the dark’, which is really in reverse, because in the day time we put on a façade, to not be seen as we are when letting our hair down in the night, with no makeup, where the true nature of self comes out behind closed doors.

That’s why some of us enjoy the sunset so much, because it’s the point in between the façade and showing our true nature, because of all the energy it takes to keep up this façade (the hiding point) throughout or day and how easy it is to just show our “ass” so to speak at night, where within the space between awareness and “I could care less” is where we transition, because when darkness falls, all hell breaks loose, and this is one hell of a way to describe having fun.

When happy times are interrupted by the reality of what someone is or has said, we call them Dark and Deep, stating ‘why are you so negative’, ‘I don’t want to talk about that dark shit’, but asked a question of interest and couldn’t stand to see/hear the answer to what was asked, (as I have experienced on both ends), simply because it was showing me the nature of my ways, plus it was still day light outside, lol, (hypothetically speaking).

A ‘Dark Spin’, as a over tone to insinuating a point we want others to believe wholeheartedly, so we attach a negative connotation to it, to excite the emotions of the listener, in order for them to feel how we feel about the issue at hand, so we can stand within the ignorance of our own perceptions, that lessen the possibility of correctly correcting the issue.

[Caution] Dark Matters, or better yet Black Lives Matter, but so do every other LIFE on this planet, I mean if we continue to plan out our future in separation, separation will keep happening, but I guess we enjoy the blame game so much – that if we saw each other as equals, we would then have to take responsibility for the mess we’ve made of this existence, so if it’s they’re fault for putting me down, then it’s mine for staying down, where a movement or revolution won’t change this, until we move to change ourselves, but wait, Don’t get offended, because in the end we’ll all get through this, to see that WE all have made a grave mistake, by saving face and coveting one another’s space.

A Dark Perspective that shines light on all that we/I have become in connection to the word Dark, my relationship towards it, seen as something negative and rarely spoken about or mention, that runs ramped in a mind filled with Dark thoughts, that alt to be erased (through correction) from a memory bank, filled with lies about who am I, and why I’m here and so on, that was taught to me in fear of the unknown, that’s now know to all, that we have separated ourselves into oblivion, therefore the word ‘Dark’ is the Matter of You and I, being that from which we came.

Interesting how when seeing the words written by others we often times drift toward/gravitate to the conflictual gossip within it all, to make ourselves feel better, in comparison to what’s being said, that at times, put a halt to our point of correction, thinking that the Dark cloud is now lifted off of us and onto the next person, but not so, it’s just an energetic experience, going from feeling down, to a sign of relief that I’m not the only one who’s f****** up in life, but shouldn’t postpone the correction any longer, therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself within different forms of dark/darkness/the dark/the dark side of me/dark matters/a dark spot/dark thoughts, and in relations to race a darkie (lol), as in black/skin tone, believing that these ideals of dark is just the way things are, that can’t be corrected and I have to accept it, because I didn’t realize the solution to the darkness in me, is Me, but chose to blame the world for being a dark place, without taking responsibility for my participation within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, how I accepted and allowed these ideas, as dark thoughts to fester in my mind, and continue to push them down, hoping they won’t surface, that would show the true nature of me, in public or around any other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put on a façade in the day time, so that the darkness within me won’t be seen, but when the sun goes down, let down my hair, so to speak, and it all comes out, believing that we’re really hiding something, and when the next day comes, act like a ‘faithful Christian’, that has done Nothing wrong, without realizing myself to be the point of correction and needs correcting – that’s best before the Ego takes its revenge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a collective and myself, succumb to the labelling between the races, with a heart racing into a reaction when called certain names or titles out of my name (that was given anyway), but when I use it, it’s ok, which is really asinine, being that we are all human from one race, humanity, that eat, sleep, shit and think the same, that needs to realize that the point of “Thinking” in itself is the problem in fact, needing to be looked at and so corrected within each one individually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think what I keep in the dark is my secret and no one will ever know, which is not the case, being that if we’re all connected, we each one have experienced the same coming through us, but would rather blame each other for being the only one, until we reach the grave and realize, ‘S*** I was just the same’, so why not correct it right here and right now.

I commit myself to correcting my relationship with the word dark, through redefinition, that of being something negative, in separation from all that is me, to a gift of acceptance that allows me to see the negative in me, in the thoughts I bring up, that spawn any action I taken that’s not who I am, so that I don’t Doit-Again-Repeating-Karma (so to speak).

Thanks for reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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