Day 771: Hide and Seek

Or better yet Hide and Sneak, in tip toe away from the things we left hanging in the balance, unbalanced with the life we seek to live, with our heads slightly lowered, arched back and a cringe on our face, hoping that what we left won’t show its ugly face, so we can move on to that happy place, care free of worry, but it doesn’t necessarily work that way, because the bad in me is connected to our nature and as they say, let nature take its course, and it will, accompanied with life as the rectifier and source of everything, it’ll show you what it means to be in a time loop, until we uncover what’s hidden and take the time to correct it, because the truth will set you free, but only after realizing it’s me who needs correcting, and not the rest of the world, first.

So, the question was asked in a challenge; “What have you done to support yourself through the worst of yourself, hard times, let’s say the despicable natures we can live within”?

It takes the same tough skin we used to turn our backs on ourselves and others, we’ve left dealing with a problem we created for them and didn’t care, until the bad and ugly, stares us in the face, saying ‘hey I’m still here and haven’t went nowhere’ at the most unforeseen time, and as it was said, the Ego will have its revenge, and revenge it will, that reveals our true nature that slip out of turn, and have the nerve to be surprised, when all your bridges are burned, and only then we become concerned with something is wrong, and so waited too long in the scheme of things, to correct this.

For me, just in the last year, it’s be one ’Hell’ of a realization – that things needed to happen in a way for me to see the Human Nature of Self, Myself, because ‘Self’ is an Overstatement that Stands when I choose to sit in my mind, where last December I was gifted to be able to see my capabilities/the Who I really am as Life, and can be all the time, and enjoyed every moment of it, with supportive individuals whose walking the same process.

Being that I had that chance to see this potential in me, all there was to do is correct the lingering Human Nature (In the Bad and Ugly) of myself, within myself and live the change, but didn’t realize the compounding effect of accumulated consequences that would take place in my life, shortly after I got back, where Everything can to Head, I mean EVERYTHING and hard times ensued, rough patches became field of worst case scenarios in actuality, and so naturally became perplexed at what was taking place in my life, where now that I saw the ‘True’ Darkness, verses the illusion of light that I was living in, it was time to take responsibility, because I alone am responsible for My past, and you yours.

The reaching out I did for assistance, in different way, was in awareness, and so stayed on course to return the favor until things changed within the industry I’m in, that created a “Controlled” spiraling affect of things going downhill, “Controlled”, because now (unlike the past), I have the tool to keep me stable within the continuation and duration of walking through what I’m going through, which I can say is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in my life, and not an easy feat by any means. (No Sympathy Needed, that pathetic), thing is with Self-Forgiveness being my stabilizing factor, the pressure I face for the refractions I’ve made and the ripples I’ve caused, is the reason I’m here today, still walking my Process, with much still to correct and change, but no longer estranged within the wonder of ‘How’.

I was told that it’s also the bad and the ugly, along with the good that got you to this point in your life, and if you’re experiencing some form of clarity, you didn’t just so happen to do it all yourself (in so many words), these things also played a major role in the shaping of who you are today, so gifts of sorts, for me to open up, investigate and sort out the point within them that needs to be, and so, everything that started happening back to back, to back, to back, none stop, was met with the Tough Skin, I mentioned earlier, I REFUSE to give up, and within this Refusal, I am being shown a direction towards my resolve.

But to continue walking and stalking out these patterns/ways and behaviors I exist as, to change their directions, and shake things up in the malt of my life, that opens the door for molding and creating myself anew, into the New Me/You of who you really are, ‘Not a Brand or a Character replacement, but a space filled Awareness of all as Life, as who we really are as all as Life, NO MORE Hide and Seek.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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