Day 768: What Are you Doing (I mean, Really)

We put off things in our lives and before you know it, your story just ended up fading away, along with all the rest of the idealist laying in the graveyard, where that’s all she wrote, another wasted life consumed by hope and a belief system that’s high on dope, I mean I should have did this a long time ago, but watched time go by slow, and then you get old, and wonder where the time went, while the kids nowadays are full of suspense, and even if you’re young it’ll soon make sense, because it’s inevitable that we all follow the same pattern, as those that’s gone before us like a never ending movie that repeats the same score, or chorus of a sad song that bores us to death, with no way to stop projecting the reflection of the past that’s depressing and unsettling, and at best it will pass, that’s why we pray to God that there’s something after this.

But what if you were told that this is all there is, with no real rules to the game and man shouldn’t be ashamed or confined by any means, or seen as anything outside of a human being, and that complacency is but a programmed inserted into a machine, and dreams are there to show us the things we’re missing, and listening is the first step to making an informed decision, and collision are designed from accumulated consequences and consciousness is not what you think it is, and life revolves around every action you take, and hate is but a rush into an undeserved fate, that’s why we pray to God that there’s some other place and can’t wait, just to find what you have to Face is YOU.

Where if you think you’re doing enough then you should do more, and having a lot of money is not enough anymore and those who have nothing should really get what they want, so they don’t have to worry about the things that they need, and limitation is nothing but a brain freeze, that causes dis-ease until you decide to sneeze, that’s taking one step forward and rolling up your sleeves, to do something about the position you’re in.

And then; The Solution of Action as Self-Movement begins, that’s often times met with a lot of resistance, that’s common sense – if you move a little a lot will manifest, that damages the idea we had of our-Self, that’s a cool thing when changing into the self you want to be, as a point of changing ones life to the best version of Me, living the best words I speak, with no desire to seek after energy fixes that sucks the life out of me, I mean this process is unique if you look at it that way, that I’m slowly learning to see, to look at it that way, and hey we all make the same damned mistakes, in the same damned ways, doing the same Damn things, so it should be easy for us all to close off the Dam of thing, that has flooded our existence, with doing absolutely Nothing.

But rushing into a debate and out of it fussing, is what we call having a productive discussion, lol, this is one hell of a way of being shown ourselves, agreeing to disagree about something outside of ourselves, saying as long as you give me my space, Ill give you yours too, but the space in between is my connection to you, and my face in the mirror is an image of you, in so many ways as a reflection you, so this the discussion we’re having is a projection from you, to see what I’m doing in my life to change me.

And please, yes this is all about me, and this is all about (in this moment) who I choose to be, that’s why I write a lot now to keep my sanity and investigate to manage what’s going on inside me, because when you really look at it, I can’t hide from me, and for only so long can we abdicate our responsibility, to live responsibly is what I’m getting at here, so what I’m really doing, is stopping my Fears, by taking Action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lay wait for too long in my life within the brain freeze of limitation, to not move myself to keep moving or do more, when thinking that I had things figured our with a purpose, then watch my purpose be crush by an advancing factor that I didn’t figure in, and so found myself stuck in a moment of wondering why things happened this or that way, that made it hard for me to see the gift of needing to correct and change my stance, so that what I create from hence forth would be in the best interest of reaching my utmost potential and so much more.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to check in with myself, in asking myself the question; “What are you doing” (I mean really), that would stop me from spinning on the merry go round in my mind, with the repetitive thought of thinking; “No way this can’t be”, and see that this is for the betterment of me, that change isn’t a bad thing, but the flip side to the point of comfortability, that I’ve stayed in for too long in my life whenever I’ve gotten to a point of doing something different, instead of seeing it as a stepping stone within the Solution of Action as Self-Movement.

Therefore the solution is me/is you and have always been – that it only takes one more extra step, when experiencing resistance at it’s peak, that would show us a sneak peek of the door cracked open and our foot in it, (so to speak) and all we have to do is to push the door open the rest of the way, and walk through it, lol, to greener pasture on the other side – that’s pastoring ourselves to corrective living and change, as I remain a work in progress.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s