“I can do it”, “Ima get to it and through it”, then lose the inspiration in the midst there of, being that we’ve talked it into and back out of existence, with every angled covered, to the point of believing I’ve done it already, and glad about it, then all alone become sad about it, and mad about it, because I’ve talked a good game but it wasn’t enough, when it came time for me to put up or shut up, meaning nobody wants to know what you’re implementing until you’ve implemented it, or will steal the idea that you have and call it their own, along with things not working out how you talked about it, and watch your words become highly doubted, so best to have your s*** in order in order for things to work out how you mentioned, because no solid road is paved with only good intentions.
Thinking out loud to talking what we think, to thinking about what others are talking about, without going through the motions of figuring it all out, before we go right ahead and open our mouth, it’s the little things that count no matter what it is we’re doing, or wanting to be a part of, as a point of pursuing, from talking about change and knowing how to do it, then get to it and thinking how hard it is, because of the consequences that come right along with it, that we can’t just talk ourselves right out of, but have to walk ourselves slowly up out of, down a tedious path that’s egregious and outrageous, when finally realizing there’s no one to save you.
I mean how else can you say it when talking is not enough and rough time are really rough, but know that you can’t give up, even if you tried, I’ve come too far to subside and lay down by the wayside soaking in sorrow, they say tomorrow is not promised, but I decide my experience today, that my words is not for nothing, so let me simply say in words you can understand; “I Am Not Giving Up”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I’ve said all that I can, due to the extensiveness of the consequences I’m facing and walking through, that seem endless, but know where there’s a beginning there’s an end.
And so, continue walking through them one step at a time, breathing within every moment that comes and passes by. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think out loud, then talk about what I thinking, as if to reach a solution, when silence should be the case in this case, that these times calls for, knee deep in a system that will eat your words up, if not corrected and lived correctly, where Mums the word from hence forth, unless the words is written in Self-Forgiveness, being that these consequences have become a bit overbearing, and to speak upon them is to fall deeper into them in an instance, in an experience that’s eye opening with hinges, ‘As I am’ in the system, and not of the system, but need to understand the system to correct it, which starts with me Right Here and Right Now.
I commit myself to continue learning more about me, my Habits/Ways and Behavior and how I have separated myself from everything that is me, that I’m facing, how I’ve acted in separation of the characters I’ve created as who I was, an am, that I’m seeing as I walk through my present, correcting my past, to create a better future for myself in my world and reality for me as the showing of those around me.
I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to separate me from the past Me’s I used to be, but to embrace them as me to see myself to correction, because I have become too soft in a world with no shame for those who don’t follow the status quo, creating the term ‘no sleep for the weary’, and so remain awake to see through the clearing, an end in sight, to not Ever find myself in this position again. Now Breathe…
Thanks for reading.