Day 731: From Facing Myself as the Problem, to Realizing Myself as the Solution

No one wants to admit that I did this to myself, (this being the situations we get ourselves into), let alone comprehend how I did this to me, when following the laws of man that’s written as a code of ethics for the s*** we get ourselves into, where we eat/shit and die every day, just to survive and try to stray away from a problematic future we create from our past, longing for a way to be free at last, that’s loosely put, with no visible chains or ropes, but a Mind you can’t see that has encapsulated most if not all of humanity, the “Hand Me Down” of beings, who have the capability to correct and change everything, from seeing that I am the problem, to realizing I am the solution, then doing something about it in the midst of confusion, when things get tough, we bluff to take action, and continue to stay within the problem we’re in.

Listening to the words; “You need to”…, never comes as an acceptable point of cross reference, but cross ties with the make shift belief that I am not the problem, given from an outsiders perspective , we take it as a point of judgement, into deception and self-manipulation, instead of correction, but who can see this when believing we did nothing wrong, and claim ‘Life happens, just deal with it’, with no Idea how to live our life, outside of what we’ve programmed ourselves to believe and think and follow religiously.

But to see that I am the problem is to backtrack our behavior as creators of the personalities we’ve become and savor, in the moment of perpetuating the same thing twice, then three times as the problem becomes much bigger, to being stuck with this situation trying to figure a way out, that our sight doesn’t see, or even realizing as me, but I’m still sitting right hear stopping my thought that may turn into fear if not corrected. Therefore; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play part in fear that things won’t work out, when going through a rough patch in my life, within a situation created by my negligence of attention to detail, that tells me, I could have done things differently.

We see it, but don’t realize it until the worst of it comes out, then look for quick ways to band aide it, this present that’s presented to us, as a gift of occurrence that’s currently present to be corrected correctly, that takes time to walk through, (as the consequences we face), to ensure that I never make the same mistakes again, in trust of the idea that things will always be around and last forever, that never works out, but carefully crafted and drafted into a feeling of doubt and Helplessness when faced with a rough patch/time in one’s life, it’s time that we pause and consider all life and the choices we make as the problems and mistake, to taking action as the solution we are, and raise the bar to a level of equality, where equally I see you as the man in me, that stands no more as a complete failure of competing with the man I once was before, that gave too much consideration and his power away to the idea and belief that others are more than me.

This be the tale of a man who never cried but tried my best to suppress it inside and never corrected it because of my pride, in the midst of a break down, and tried to frown it away, which wasn’t a solution in any case. Therefore; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that a frown was a solution to the pent-up energy I had stored within me, that would accumulate into a break down, where instead of letting it all out, I suppressed it that cause a tenseness in my physical body, that would cause me pain.

So, the solution in me, has become more than just a realization, but the responsibility taken immediately when such a problem occurs, that I can see clearer when stopping and breathing, to stop competing with the idea that other have it better off than me, but pay attention to the me that it all stems from, and for you, the you that it all stem from, where the correction would be;

When and as I see myself only regarding myself as the problem and not the solution, shifting the attention off of myself onto other that I think house the answers to and for me, about what I’m facing, without looking within myself first, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that in doing so, I am not Here in the Home of Self/Myself, but (hypothetically speaking) have went into a neighbor’s house and world, in search for a solution to what I can correct myself, about myself, within myself at Home, and then ask for assistance if need be. Therefore, I Am the Solution to the Problems I Face.

Thanks for reading.


About carltontedford

In Process.
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