Hard headed and up to no good, when doing the opposite of what we should be doing, saying,; “Just wait a minute and give me a moment to finish what I’m doing, because it interest me to keep pursuing my fascinations and infatuations, my wants/needs and desire to keep playing this game we call life, but a game of chance it is, to staying within the romance of uncertainty, that’s a flirt away from the urgency that I need to do something about what I’ve inserted within me, as my self-interest.
Where a thought becomes an idea and an idea becomes an interest, and with interest we only pay attention to what makes us happy, as a manufactured crappy way to live, I say jump you say how high, I say leap and you say with faith, and everything else in our world can wait, to I’m interested in you because of the way you look, instead of reading the whole book that you are, I mean how far will we take this self-interested thing, when the self-interest of men created Kings, to rule in self-interest over a figment of Self, to be idolized as different and something else, to attain to for you to become you and be, that spawned the creation of the American Dream, to get rich by ways of being a happy slave, that’s all of us including Caucasians these days, no one is exempt when self-interest is at play, which makes it an understatement that, it’s time for change.
But interesting how the real self is not in the equation, but the identity of denying me the right to impress upon life, and would fight for it despite knowing that you may die for it, to never correcting and changing the self that we’re in and have become, to quitting it all together in one lump sum, thinking that it’s important to do the things that we do, but within that is the ignorance that springs the limitations in you, that’s not seen because we’re trapped behind the veil of an idea, to live as we would like to live and only give when there’s much in it for me to gain.
It’s a shame how we love to go against the grain of pain, that shows us how we have corrupted parts of our brain, as Here’s a point for you to walk through, and there’s a point for you to see, but would rather take Meds instead of responsibility for the interesting dichotomy between wrong and right, death and the life we chose to live within, the lack of breath when frozen in a state of self-interest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frozen in a state of self-interest and the interesting dichotomy between what’s wrong and what’s right, that has denied me the trust to have in my-Self, to be self-honest in what I choose to do and direct me to the best possible outcome, in a society where survival is keen, but remember to take responsibility for everything, seen and unseen, this way my interest change to what’s best for all, instead of staying only interested in the self that I’ve become.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bum around in the funk of depression when my self-interest is not fulfilled, even for a moment that stops me from seeing a way out.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how self-interest clouds the vision forward to seeing a way out, and forward movement and progress, unable to process things effectively and so stay within the confines of the problem, that without self-interest, the gateway to correction is visible, with change looming on the horizon, and so commit myself to losing this self-interested me.
Thanks for reading.