That was inspired by a conversation I had with my brother, about family dynamics and how those of us that grew up in a religious based system, experienced being in a state of Judgement towards one another and others in our worlds, which is more like a state of emergency, when urgently looking to be in the lime light, to appease the one we call Pastor/Bishop or Reverend, that tells us to expose others WHOA, and what they do good sweep under the rug, while preaching the scripture; “Judge not less Ye be Judged”, that changes the family dynamics from loving to, I’m telling momma on you, because you’re not supposed to do that, which becomes the dividing factor between sibling when they get older, scared that you’re going to judge them for what they do now, that has had a profound effect on the way we choose to live our life, around the people we’ve known all our lives, up until the last time we connected with them, back in the state of Judgement, as how many of us were raised.
Being unable to relate fact with fiction, we created Friction between the two polarities and barely knew which one is-which, then Judged each other for it, because that’s all we knew, without realizing, I would be judged too, under the claim that exposition is the way to freedom from accusations, without asking the question why are-we being exposed in front of a congregation and judged for not following suit.
Because the tailor couldn’t get the dimension correct in what they were saying and so scared us into a tight corner, and forced into a tight suit that restricted the blood flow, as the limitations to our self-expansion, and so remained within a state of judgement, that sticks to your flesh, because it hard to scrape off the vest that’s part of the three piece suit, as the trinity that religion brings, stating that who so ever, can’t relate to these things, Judge them until they do, then bring them into the fold, to be controlled too, and as well.
So now walking around with this shell trying to break free, everything and one we see, we look at differently, then initially judge them for being different than what we’re used to seeing and being around and talking to, without really talking to them to get to know them, because the idea of knowing them may shake the fabric of the suit we’re in, and since it has been a part of us for so long, we feel that without it, would leave us bare and naked, vulnerable to the element, that would only eliminate the idea and belief we have about things, but in the moment of a potential interaction, we freeze up and go straight into the state of judgement.
I’ve come to realize that vulnerability is not all that bad, being that holding everything in eventually makes one sad and mad at judging oneself for what we’ve done, and think that others are exempt from making the same mistakes, then project the idea of our mistakes onto others without realizing we need to clean this s*** up, and the way to doing that, is to become vulnerable in accepting as a gift the mistakes we’ve made, instead of judging ourselves for the state we’re in, then when it come to friends or family, it’s easy to accept them for who they are or have become since the last time we really interacted with them, without judgement, and with someone new, to look within oneself first to assess what comes up and if anything correct it if needed, with self-forgiveness before interacting with them, as in; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this person in front of me, for the way they look, that I perceive them to be different than me, but haven’t talked to them yet to get to know them as who they really are.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I’m superior to this person, because of the way I was raised – that told me to see others who didn’t follow the belief system I grew up in, as inferior to me and so (in a way) judge them until they follow what I now believe, other than that separate myself from them. And so on and so forth until one has corrected oneself for what came up in that moment – that would stop us from always being in the state of judgement towards others we don’t know, because we’ve corrected our-Self first.
But towards those in our immediate environment/household/family members and/or close friend, the correction comes in the way of; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall prey to being in a state of judgement, and so prey on my sibling growing up by judging them for stepping out of line, and so felt the need to expose them as the normality of occurrence that was acceptable to me back then as our way of life, that I didn’t see would put a damper on the relationship I have with them now, that has become more superficial than beneficial for the both of us, and so for so long shied away from having a meaningful conversation with them out of fear of being judged.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, how I had given my self-control and reasoning away to the idea of a belief system and those in charge as the authority figures, and blindly followed what was being told to me (to judge and expose), instead of truly loving and accepting my sibling/close friends for who they are and how they are, which would have created more of a trustworthy relationship between us all, because of accepting the vulnerability within each other, without exposing them, through gossip or and other way.
And so, we begin to break the mold, and move out of the limitation that being in the fold brought into our lives/family/friendships and worlds, that would stop one from always being and living within a state of judgement.
[Side note]: Embarrassment is only an Illusion. Try it out.
Thanks for reading.