Day 718: Slow Down

Because at a fast pace we often move, perpetuating the saying “Stick and move, just stick and move”, then get stuck in a moment trying to figure out our next move, because we’ve moved too fast and lost our groove, you can only multitask when things are smooth and on track, where you then have time to sit and look back at what you’ve done thus far, the point of second checking oneself, to see if there is anything left undone, but in the midst of a run you can’t do that, because critical points just fly by, where you end up tripping over the same s*** twice, then repeating the same mistakes you’ve walked in life, over again to again having a wake up call, and if not careful, again you’ll fall, as the point of monotony becomes our calling card, to calling out for help while looking to the stars, that never will answer the “Prayer” you sent, which end up being a wasted time spent, trying to run through the consequences that needs to be walked through, which always ends in creating more consequences for you.

I mean all this talk that I’m talking, I experience in real time, while feeling the urge to get to the finish line, which will never happen if I’m running around in circles, chasing after the tale that all is fine. I was once told that I would only like to experience the good things, before correcting and sorting out the pressing things, the things that requires my attention to detail, which can’t be done if I’m sprinting to fail, it’s these things that needs to be fixed first, in order to experience my true self-worth, that’s worth it, after the worst has done me in, which could have been avoided without all the thinking and wondering and staying within the energy of pondering, which is muscle constricting and heart pounding that feels like thundering and lightning, going on inside me, now everything I do seem to be frightening, which is eluding the truth that I shouldn’t have been flying, when all I had to do was to; “Slow your ass down”.

Moving at the speed of life is not done at light speed, but the focus it takes for one to breathe, in every moment and at times a snails pace is needed, to see what can easily be overlooked and missed, to missing the majority of a moment at hand, to handing yourself another problem that will and can, set you back from a financial point of view, and now faced with the decision on what to do, we then overcomplicate things and read too much into it, and when the moment comes tell ourselves I knew it, but who knew that it’s still all so simple, without a mind to define the way we walk through it.

Interesting how helplessness comes into play, when running out of energy in mid-stride, but don’t want to ask for help because of our pride, and not wanting to be seen as a basket case of problems, when we all have them, but think everyone else is fine, because of a projected presentation we see in them, that we’ve also presented to veil our sins, but still think we’re the only one, but not, it’s just our turn to correct and stop what we’ve been perpetuating by being in a rush, and got to the point of wanting to give up, that is until we realized to just slow down, and take the necessary step that needs to be enacted now, so for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move at an extremely fast pace, when walking should be the case when consequences are present. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create more consequence by attempting to rush through the consequences I’m walking. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to slow down even more while walking through consequences. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how slowing down, minimize the overwhelming effect that consequences may bring – that taking a breath is all that’s needed, to not go racing off in my mind and into making more mistakes and bad decisions. Therefore;

When and as I see myself racing off into my mind looking for a quick resolve to the consequences I’m facing, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that a slow pace is need, and at times a snail’s pace to see what I’m missing and so have missed the first time, to stop more than just every “Blue moon” to take a breath, because running out of breath bring forth anxiety/nervousness/helplessness and fear, the fear that comes when thinking that we may not b able to get through it (but will), and so have come to realize slowing down is the gateway to my resolve, and so commit myself to slowing down and walking up this hill of consequences while correcting myself and into my resolve, to get that much closer to reaching my utmost potential and over this point that I’m walking.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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