Day 710: In the Good Graces of Yourself

Interesting realization, I was in the bathroom at a store in town and on the wall above the commode, read a sign, saying; “We aim to please, You aim too please”, which I thought was simplistically hilarious, and it was, then after some time pass, what came up within me is how we tend to please others before ourselves, to be in their good graces, instead of being graceful with and to ourselves, to be in the good graces of me in essence, because for so long we have disregarded this body that have carried us around and still do to today, in the experience of ourselves in this reality, and so as a believer, believed our bodies to be temporary and illusion, but a delusion how we’re eluding the fact that it is Life, and the real illusion is the thoughts we react to that generates the mind we’re in and so creates strife in our world.

Some would say that; “It’s in your best interest to keep your friends close”, without realizing in doing so, is a free-end to me, where we lose ourselves and all capacity to distinguish between the point of existing for me or that of others, with the belief that I need to be completed, validated, liked and loved and so give this to another above ourselves, expecting the same to be done in return to us, but in the end find ourselves feeling so empty, because we gave all the graces we had away, and now find ourselves slowly drifting away into depression and sorrow, as if tomorrow will never end, unless I find someone else to be friends with, but what about me?

Not to say that friends are bad and being in the good graces of others is wrong, but when we find ourselves sucking up to them, is where the disconnect from ourselves happen, I mean even in a relationship, where there should be a level of selfishness, meaning (at times) a little me time, getting to know myself and gracing me with the understanding of who Self is, then being that Self for myself and then as them, as the point of being in the good graces of ourselves.

But more so than just physically befriending someone, what I find interesting is how we tend to think more about others, than ourselves, when by ourselves with no one is around, where our second guessing is not an investigation as should be in some cases, but a premeditation of what would ‘They’ think if I did this, when the situation is personal and involves nobody else.

I mean imagine what life would be like with no one in mind but Self, for me, by me, about me, then all else after that, gives the saying, “Getting your s*** together” a new meaning, which starts with taking self-responsibility for the mental s*** we put ourselves through, like the time wasted in gracing another presence in our minds, instead of in person, so when we do see them, the grace of ourselves will show as an expression of us, because we have now moved towards being in the good graces of ourselves.

More than an elegant movement, being kind and gentle towards oneself in the presence of self, is what’s needed for self as well, in order to get to know who this Self/Your-Self/Our-Self really is, I mean the endless possibilities and capabilities that we’re unaware we have are waiting to be discovered, that will be shown to us once coming into the good graces of ourselves (as I see it), not to put others down, but would make our interactions with them (as us) that more enjoyable, and joy we all seek in some way. So, for me, why not get to the point of being able to say; “I enjoy myself and then so life/my life, because the life I’m living is brought to you, courtesy of being in the good grace of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have put being in the good graces of others more than myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take away from me, time from gracing myself with the understanding of me, whenever I would impress upon others an impressionable pictured presentation of me, that I aim to please without pleasing myself first, that’s not really who I am, but a perpetuated character I’m presenting. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the character of aiming to please other to get/be in their good graces. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have aimed to please others more than pleasing myself first, outside of self-interest. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had the interest of others in mind before me, instead of inserting grace as an expression of me, onto myself, to so live, walk, talk and be graceful in everything I do, that would show in my everyday life, and others as the grace of my presence.

That way Self is brought into the equation first, that shows good graces is not necessarily something to be in for others first, but for ourselves first, as something to be lived as myself, then shown as an expression of who self really is as me and picked up on by others, that I am graceful and thus have shown them the grace that I am, for myself.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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