Day 697: Walking through Consequences

Not an easy feat by any means, but one must do it to get to the other side of change, in the moment of taking responsibility for oneself positioning placement, to ensure that one never repeats the same thing over again, where stability is the key, but in the midst of it, the key is to get past the resistance and from there, everything (for most part) is downhill, although hard still, ones will power will make a way to reach your resolve in the end, to not do the same s*** over again.

To me, consequences is the sequence of events played out after an infraction has happened in one’s life, that caused a refraction to take place as a reaction to an action perpetuated and not faced, but turned a blind eye toward, until the compounding factor becomes your 20/20 vision, from asking how did this happen, to looking for a culprit to blame, to realizing I should be ashamed of myself for doing this to me, that I now faced with the consequences I didn’t foresee, that’s a bit overwhelming, I mean overwhelming as hell, I mean overwhelming to the point of me wanting to fail and give up, but by doing that would make it 10 times worse, and 10 times longer like walking backward in reverse, then turning back around and finally walking to where you’re going, to finally facing the consequences to what you reaped is what you’ve sown, that’s showing you/me that we’ve been fast asleep, while being of this world, believing that I’m free, to do what I want, but is this really what I want, when it’s our free choice and decisions that comes back and haunt us in the end, to feeling dirty in my skin, that I now have to walk through the same consequences again.

Did I do something in another life, is just the extended blame factor, that’s factored in when not wanting to really face what I’m seeing, but tell myself I’ve been a good person so why is this happening to me, and not them for doing the same thing, where in lies the problem in not seeing the gift, the gift that we’ve become more aware of what we’re doing, and so more aware of the consequences that follows, when living a life so shallow and hollow and empty, I mean what happen to living life simplistically, instead of over complicating things with emotions and feeling, to doing more than I can, and biting off more than I can chew, that’s now created consequences for me to walk through.

Although each person has a different way of creating consequences for themselves, the walk of shame is all the same as everyone else, where we feel bad and sad and first go into a slump, then getting mad at ourselves like WTF, but hold up, what I’ve found is that there is a correction to it all, when walking through consequences one Must stand tall, and keep standing within the understanding that this too will pass, but first I have to correct myself for my past, and after writing it out and applying self-forgiveness on what you’ve wrote, one’s stance become corrective about what you wrote, to moving more slowly and cautious when walking through our day, to being unwavering when faced with the same, because the consequences of what we’ve just walked through is fresh in you mind, where we’ll then be test quite a few times, but what will we now do?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created consequences for myself to walk through, but in the midst of walking through them experience a sense of being overwhelmed, to wondering will I ever get through this hell, while looking for a back door to escape out of with no luck, being that I’ve locked myself into this position in the first place, that I now have to clean up the mess I’ve made for myself in order to find the key to release myself from this room, with a lesson well learned from being in this room, and I’ve learned to not repeat the same thing again. And that right there is how it’s done, until one is done reliving the same mistake from our past, to no longer accept and allow myself to put myself in this position again, but to be aware of what I’m doing in every moment and watch what I’m spending.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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