Day 661: My Relationship with A Mirror

From the walk by and sneak peeks, to the shaving of my head and brushing of teeth, at times have been afraid to look myself in the eye, without ever once investigating why, what are my likes and dislikes that I hadn’t stood one with and equal to, the changing faces to bring different characters through, who will I be today, according to who
I will see today, are just excerpt of my Relationship with A Mirror.

So, when listening/watching “The Mirror Process” on SOUL, opened up within me my absolute relationship with a mirror, as in what exactly do I do in the mirror, how do I see myself, am I looking in the mirror at me or through the eyes of any other that would see me today?

As per my perspective; It’s rather interesting how what I realized is that when I am in the mirror, mostly in the morning during my routine, what stands out is my face, where there’s a belief I have that if my face/head is ok then I can feel good about myself, and then glance at my body and move on, I mean there is little to no investigation as to how/why I stand the way I do/move the way I do, make certain gestures and facial expression the way I do. For one, why does it take me standing in the mirror to adjust my posture and not be aware of it throughout my day, (For Myself) because when walking by a person of interest or as I see someone approaching, I would unconsciously only then adjust my posture and start walking with my head up/chin tucked in and shoulders back, which is interesting because this usually happens after finding myself in my mind and so not paying attention to how I am carrying my Physical body.

Thing is, most of the time when walking a certain way in public, it’s not in consideration or regard for our bodies, but in service of how others would look at us and what they would think, which is too much thinking, and at times lose focus as to where we’re walking, trying to look straight ahead and end up tripping or bumping into something, then becoming embarrassed and even more self-conscious of ourselves and yes guys do it as well, in relations to making cool faces in the mirror and squinting our eyes to look cool, instead of being the plain faced beings that we are.

It never fails that anytime anyone walk passed a mirror, we look in it and call this, checking to see if everything is in place and excuse this behavior as fitting in, but in essence not wanting to be judged/laughed at, because that would make us feel bad, then carry this throughout the rest of our day, which make this mirror peeking even more prevalent in our lives.

It’s fascinating how we let a feeling/mood define how much time we would spend in the mirror, how much make up we put on, whether we shave our beards or not, because today, I’m just not feeling it and don’t care what people think, which should be all the time, but projected in the wrong context considering the starting point that we perpetuate this ‘lack of care’ per se thereof, obviously we do care, but only around certain people and if energy is attached to it, which then makes the Mirror our best friend.

Funny how when going out with someone, let’s say with your partner, girlfriend/boyfriend we make ourselves look real pretty in the mirror, get to where we’re going, party or public outing of sort, and in the midst of, go to the bathroom and look in the mirror to make ourselves up more, (why is this) the thing that gets me (when looking at it) is at that point, who is this re-adjustment for, is it for the person you’ve been with and possibly known forever, who don’t care how you look, or is for the next on-looker to achieve an extended glance from them, that gives us a sense of approval, and the reason we give for this behavior, is because I’m a representation of you honey, which is then accepted with a proud look, like yeah that’s right, but for most, have been manipulated into thinking so. And believing that you’re really loved, which is in very, very few and rare cases, in relations to the whole of relationships in Humanity.

An innate reflection of ourselves a mirror is and should be seen as a gift that show us who and what we have become, how we have disregarded our bodies/ourselves, as a sign to investigate who is this me that I’m look at and how have I got myself to the point of not accepting what I see as me and how can I correct myself, internally as to what comes up within me when looking at myself in the mirror, so that I’m able to embrace the reflection of me in its totality, as who I really am as life, and live these corrections. Self-Forgiveness to come.

Thanks for reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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