Day 656: Personal Reactions

Towards oneself, is when you realize that ‘Hey I’ve never been like this before’, as the Hawk with all eyes on me, that critiques my every move and different mood swing that comes up within and as my self-expression, while sounding out the words; “NO I STOP” to deflect off a Mind possession awaiting to happen, if I were to continue to follow that one thought around in my mind, that I allow to plague me at any time of Day or Night when becoming aware of my Sleep Walking Awake, that can easily turn into a Nightmare everytime we choose to go into our Mind .

Thinking that it’s fine to be hard on oneself in hindsight of a mistake made, stating; “Come on man, you know better”, fuck, shit and whatever else to follow, slowly going down a road leading straight into a mind possession, but when you’re alone and it’s about you, is it a possession in fact or the tipping point we chose to react to, I would say both, while being hot a bothered, by what comes up within and as me, to screaming in the mirror of self, as if you could really take back what you’ve done unto me.

You see the you in the mirror is the me that I speak about and pout when things don’t go our way, which is a, my way out of self-interest, only interested in how I feel in the moment, but the me that’s feeling, is only perpetuating a Personal Reaction towards myself, with nothing or no one to blame but me when self-honest with our-Self, or else end up repeating the same possession over and over again, then into another Personal Reaction.

Reacting to not being able to see how to move past the point into correction, because of this reaction a defense and protection mechanism comes up to veil the point even more, into a state of suppression and if left suppressed calcifies into my body, creating pain that I would feel in my feet, where walking it out is not enough to say the least, but a step in the right direction if one then direct oneself to walk out of this Mind possession.

A habit or a particular behavior played out on behave of one inherent Nature creates pressure in the back of my head regent, causing me to doze off for a spell, then coming back to like What the Hell is this infraction, that triggers me into a Personal Reaction of yell and screaming at the top of my lungs, then in one split moment it’s like, it’s all done and I’m wide awake, as if nothing just happened, when in fact when driving I could have been in an accident, I mean at times this shit don’t even makes sense, until I calm down and apply my Self-Forgiveness in a more quite tone, then start realizing how I got me into this state and place, what thoughts did I think, what route did I take in my mind, that spawned me into spiraling down this hole, and thinking the weight of the world is on my shoulder, but nowhere close, it’s just a Personal Reaction, which in fact could be a cause for one having a Heart attack, where the pressure builds up in one’s chest area and anxiety ensure, which is why one should be equipped with these TOOLS, that will stop such Personal Reactions at the inception thereof, and if it’s still unclear to you, investigate for yourself, the Link Above, because without these tools, my life would still be the same, I would still be playing the same old games, with myself and blaming the world for the way I experienced me, so to me these Personal Reactions are Self-Diminishing,

So (note to self), stop being so finnicky with yourself, it may not be as bad as it seems and if so keep correcting oneself to all is seen/understood and corrected to changing me, which would change me from how I have designed my personality, in to living life practically without any reactions, which would be my life in Journey to living Satisfaction for real.

Thanks for reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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