Day 652: I Changed My Mind

In hindsight, how is this possible, unless you’re standing equal to and one with it, that’s misconstrued and alternated (at times) with a change of heart, as a more “cordial” way of saying it. So, here’s what takes place, as I see it;

After the debate in one’s head, that for a moment changes one’s indecisiveness into a fixed point or position of self-interest, while stating internally; “I might as well (or not), because of this, that and the other”, is the suit we follow, thinking that we’re in the command position with our opinionated self, never seeing the hand of the mind, behind the scenes at work, with a smirk on our face, believing that we got our way and/or doing something on our own, which is in fact a neglect of ownership rights to ourselves, paid for by the statement of; “I Changed My Mind”, else/or, one would not have to say it, but live as an expression of self, decision making.

The excuse we give our-self, firstly through internal conversations, then possibly to the other is; “After Thinking about it, I’ve decided not to”, but the decision only came (for most) after the fear of loss sets in, believing that we would somehow get left holding the short end of the stick, stemming from following the self-created scenario presented by our minds, telling us to change it/change me/don’t trust yourself/ don’t trust them, then walk away satisfied with it, stating I knew it, without realizing what just actually took place.

And/Or, “After deep consideration (and a No), I changed my mind, with an elaborate excuse of grandeur as to why a sudden change of Heart, that would feed off of the excitement of the other, because of this sudden change, where here again one weighed the option of either being spiteful with all the power to say No, or seeing and outcome that would put us in a winning position of good karma, thinking positive acts makes for a good life, which in fact it should be natural to do unto others what you would like to be done unto you, if that’s the case, but rarely see it that way, because we’re blinded by the idea of free choice and it’s my right to choose whether or not I want to, until one finds oneself on the other side of the table (per se) in the same position of needing assistance.

But after deliberation and investigation, can the change out of one’s mind truly take place, where the Mind Changing comes in a form of realization of oneself on the verge of perpetuating/repeating an act of old, after the correction of it has taken place, then it becomes, I’ve changed and will not accept and allow my mind to direct me into making the same mistake again, which for most part is the non-consideration of others, to considering another as I would myself, in all ways, therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say at times that I change my mind, to suit my self-interest, instead of investigating the sudden changes that comes up within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I am able to change my mind without standing equal to and one with it, but Instead follow the urge to do so, that my mind presents to me, without question.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be indecisive when initially leaning towards one way of doing things, then at the last minute and deliberation thereof, I change my mind, instead of realizing that it was my mind changing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself have a debate in my head for the best candidate of self-interest on whether or not to do something after saying that I would or wouldn’t, instead of silencing my mind and going with it, as long as it’s not compromising to oneself/myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have blindly followed my mind, in thoughts/words and deeds, actions and inactions, believing it to be who I am and justified my actions by saying; “I changed my mind”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have told someone in my past that; “After thinking about it, I decided not to” that suited my self-interest, and the truth in essence, being that of a thought deliberation, not the self-directed true of who I can be when living the word, unconditional decisiveness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that a mind change should be in a form of realization, that I am on the verge of perpetuating/repeating an act of old, after the correction of it has taken place, where then it becomes, I’ve changed and will no longer accept and allow my mind to direct me into making the same mistake again, and instead to live the words Self-Directedness and so I commit myself to living Self-Directedness and no longer accept and allow myself to believe a mind change is necessary, but instead to change my participation from within and as my mind, into living Self-Awareness and Directedness.

Investigate and Change your own Mind, HERE.

Thanks for reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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