Day 619: “S” for What “Self” “Sees”

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”.

“Sitting” in this “Sanctuary” in which I call home, “Surrounded” by these walls that “Seems” to close in whenever I’m in my mind and forget to Breathe out in “Space”, as the time “Slowly” “Slips” by, I find my-‘Self” dozing off, then wake up like holy “Shit” what was that, “Stating” I’m “Sorry” to my body for “Shutting” down, in the moment that it was “Showing” me the face of Procrastination I often times participate in, as the first “Sin” of Rebellion, but unable to “See” it because my mind is (Let’s “Say”) elsewhere and not Here.

Being that I was “Stuck” in a moment of wanting to be “Saved” that I’ve engrained within me, as the first “Step” of Religion, the belief that one needs to be “Saved”, but from what though, was my question, while holding open a back door just in case I couldn’t “Save” myself., then realized ‘Hey wait a minute “STOP”, this is not who you are, but only after the fact of a wasted moment, I mean this is what “Self” “Sees” that I fail to take responsibility for.

“Short” “Shirts” and mini “Skirt” busting at the “Seams” that “Screams” the “Statement” look at me, I’m ready for “Sex”, that preys on the imagination of the innocent, driven by movie “Scenes” at the Cinema, that will eventually turn predator because the prey has become “Selective”, as to who they’re dressing up for, that “Society” deems to be an acceptable as a way to find a mate, but wait what happen to comfortability as a Theme, that’s now only remnants of a dreams when living in the 50’s, I mean where did we all go wrong. Was it at the point of “Searching” for “Salvation” to “Save” our “Soul” in order to live a Positive Life, while in the meantime manifesting “Satan” to take the blame for the thoughts in our “Secret” Minds, that we Perpetuate at Night times or when nobody’s looking, “So” we think, but it’s written all over our face, when trying to “Save” Face in front of others – that who we are is what we “See” in fact, and think the “Same” thing. This is what “Self” “Sees” that I/We haven’t taken Responsibility for.


Being born in “Sin” and “Shaped” in Iniquity, without realizing what the word even means, lol, is one step away from asking for a “Savior” to “Save” me or at least explain this word to me, that I have “Seen”/used the word “Savior” in a Positive connotation in there of it, which takes me back to the “Sanctuary” I call home, “Stuck” in a moment of wanting to be “Saved”, and thus have defined being “Saved” as a Positive thing. 


– Without “Seeing” the Negative that I was manifesting within the words,” Satan” made me do it’, that’s the easiest “Scapegoat” Religion has, while claiming that in the name of Jesus, “Strike” him down, because he made me Negative, I mean how In- “Sane” is that, and if you’re reacting to this, then you’re Negative, and “Satan” didn’t make you do it.

Sounding of the Words


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Self in a mild sense of me being connected to my Mind, thinking/believing/perceiving the Mind to be who I am and so Self, instead of Seeing/Realizing/Understanding it to be that humble aspect of Me as Life, Patiently waiting for me to stand up and become equal to and one with it, that has been there as a support system throughout my tenure of being trapped in my mind, until the time comes that I Amalgamate to my body, as the Flesh, as Self as Life. Therefore, I hereby commit myself to redefining Self to; that which is in me that assist me to seeing/realizing/understand my ability of utmost Potential as it, as the Flesh, as all, as Life, to no longer accept and allow myself to disregard Self in any way whatsoever, but I fact to stand Equal to and One with it.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word Sorry and/or I’m Sorry as a Hindsight seeing then realizing, what I did purposefully has taken a toll on myself and/or others, instead of weighing out my Actions beforehand, to see the consequences I may cause to myself and/or another person, therefore I commit myself to becoming more aware of the thoughts that comes up in my mind, that would lead me into an Action, and end up saying I’m Sorry for, that I will get to a place within me of Standing as the point of Stability within my Words/Ways/Deeds and Actions.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word Showing in a Sense of pride, and being proud of a material possession and/or what I could do, instead of as an assistive tool from myself, showing me my inherent Human Nature, so that I’m able to See, Correct and Change me to doing that which is best for all, as a Showing to the world that it’s possible for one to Change. So, I commit myself to inverting my Showing from them to Me, accepting, then investigating what it is that I now See How to change within me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have said I See as an interim for a conversation or interaction with someone to continue, without really Seeing and/or remembering what was being said or discussed, but as a blind courtesy in making it seem as if I was on the same page as them, instead of admitting to what I really can see (within a point) and asking question when I don’t, see it/get it. Therefore, I commit myself to saying what I can See clearly, and asking question about what I’m not Seeing as clear.

Sex [Refer Here]

Thanks for reading.


About carltontedford

In Process.
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