Day 605: “E”

When will “Enough” be “Enough”, after falling then getting up and “Expecting” the world to hand you a bone, “Eagerly” awaiting for someone or something to step in and take the blunt of our responsibility, I mean when is “Enough”, “Enough”, as a momentary way of saying in layman’s terms, I don’t want to play anymore right now, I’m tired, until the next “Energy” “Experience comes alone, then back to falling again, while being sidetracked by looking at the lady in the red dress, so to speak, with no “Emphasis” on life, but only an “External” stimulation that satisfies and suits my own self-interest., “Evidently” “Enough” wasn’t “Enough”, but defined as an “Easy” way to stop the pain in the moment, and when the pain had subside. it was back to living life rough.

“Enjoyment”, only as a momentary pause from reality, described in the statement; “Enjoy” it while you can, heard and “Expanded” upon as a rush to combust the “Energy” that “Existed” within and as me, feeling the need to “Enviably” let it all out, mad at those in my world who wasn’t raised as I was, always thinking of the “End” times, so I had better “Enjoy” the little moments of solitude while I Could, in which case “Enjoyment” = Something momentary and attainable, but only after a series of strenuous “Event”

Filled with “Empathy” for the little man, came from being in no position to do anything about things I was faced with in my past growing up, that I used as an “Excuse” to take out my frustration on the bully in question as recompense for what I was incapable of doing in my past, instead of setting an “Engagement” to oneself/myself to correct and let go unconditionally the memories I suppressed within and as me.

Positive

Oddly “Enough”, I used “Escapism” in a positive connotation of the word, meaning if I didn’t have to go through something or face something, it must be a good thing, instead of realizing the more I abdicated my responsibility, the more I would trap myself in the midst of a problem/situation, but if I could always “Escape”, I must have been doing something right.

Negative

Not understanding the reverse of “Evil” as the life I was living, I’ve placed this word as a Negative outside of myself, a thing that was unseen to the naked “Eye”, a force to be reckoned with, that could determine, whether or not I lived or died, without seeing the “I” as me that was “Eternally “Enslaved “Eternally” as the “Evil I let possess me, “Even” though I was the face looking at me through the looking glass of life.

Sounding of the Words

Enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Enough as a momentary pause in my reality for the pain to go away, then back to doing the same old thing. I hereby redefine it to being a statement of closure, an end to a monotonous way of life, into becoming who I am as life.

E-Nuff

End-Rough

Expecting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be Expecting things to happen for me on its own, instead of realize, I’m the one who needs to do the work, in order for things to happen for me in my life, world and reality, in Essence stop looking for enablement, and be dependent on myself.

Ex-Pecking-Thing

Eagerly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Eagerly look for an Easy way out of the messes I got myself in throughout my life, instead of seeing this lie as a way to stand up and take responsibility for myself, to be Eager to investigate and correct myself.

Eager-Lie

Energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by Energy Experiences, thinking that my inner chi is who I am, instead of seeing/realizing myself as life and not these spurts of adrenaline rush’s.
Inner-chi

Experience

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to utilize/see/understand that an Experience is something that should be learned from and/or cross referenced with and not just that, that one programable-ly,
goes through.

Expert-Entrance

Expire-In-Sequence

Emphasis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have only used Emphasis as an accent point of Self-Interest and not on that which is best for all life, I hereby commit myself to putting more Emphasis on my process and that which is best for all life, because I’m for common sense.

I-For-Instance

I’m-For-Sense

External

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay more attention to my External-Reality, the things that goes on, including the blame I perpetuate outside of myself Externally, instead of taking responsibility for all as me Internally first, then Externally.

Ex-Turn-On

Ex-Turn-All

Evidently

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Evidently as a spiteful way of validating my point of view, in which an Eventual lie was Eminent, instead of seeing/realizing Evidently as a matter of fact, when investigating through consequences a point of occurrence that can be change, and thus I hereby redefine Evidently to correcting and changing those parts of me that’s seen and unseen.

Evil-Then-Lie

Eventual-Lie

Easy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think just because he-say or she-say the way things are, makes it easy to follow them, instead of realizing a level of complexity within each person’s starting point.

He-Say

She-Say

Enjoyment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that Enjoyment was only momentary and something to attain to, but only after a series of strenuous “Event’s”, instead of realizing that real Enjoyment comes through self-Awareness and the willingness to change.

In-Joy-Moment

End-Joy-Moment

Expanded

I commit myself to Expanding my understanding of myself, my awareness to life as everyone and everything around me, and my vocabulary, in order to communicate Effectively with others.

Existed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have Existed in the ignorance of not knowing who I am, now seeing that this word is more than the usage of those that are no longer around, I can use it to cross reference and see when I am living an old pattern.

Exited

End

I commit myself to End/Stop all of my old patterns/ways/behaviors that would cause me to End my own life, if I were to let them persist.

In

Event

I commit myself to taking the Energy out of any Event I’m faced with, and to replace it with a walk of stability through it and/or to Experience without any movement of sorts coming up within and as me, i.e. concert etc.

Energy-Vent

Empathy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay more attention to those like me who couldn’t stick up for themselves in one way or another, where I would have empathy for them in trying to step in and fight their battles for them, all because, I wasn’t able to do this for myself growing up, and now derive energy as recompense for stepping in and or wanting to get Even, which is really pathetic to say the least.

I’m-Pathetic

Excuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give an Excuse as an Extra Cause to why I did something, to not just be straight forward in acceptance for the real reason behind my actions, instead of being straight forward, admitting to all of what I have perpetuated

Extra-cause

Escapism [See Here]

Evil

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to Embrace/Accept and correct the Evil within me, as me, first and foremost to be able to live life to my utmost potential and that more abundantly, but instead only projected it outwards as something out there in separation from me. I hereby accept and Embrace all of me that is me, and commit myself to live the reverse of Evil as Life as who I am. Energy Free

Energy-Filled

Live

Eye [Refer to Desteni.org]

Eternally [Refer to Desteni.org]

Enslaved [Refer to Desteni.org]

Creative Writing

Even though I felt that Enough was Enough, but it wasn’t, which was Evident in my repeating the same patterns over and over again, I Eagerly Expected someone or something to save me from taking responsibility, for going into Energy Experiences, Emphasizing that Externally I would Eventually take the Easy route, in hope for an Easy way out and being that my Enjoyment was only momentary, Self-Expansion was Nowhere in my vocabulary, I only Existed as the End of the word mentality, but showed Empathy for those too weak to stand up for themselves, without realizing that this process can only be walked alone, that I can’t save anyone, while living the Excuse; “Nobody helped me” as an Extra cause for Escapism from living an Evil (Energy Filled) life, therefore what my Eyes couldn’t see, Entrapped me to living a life of Enslavement, as I lived these words starting with the Letter “E”

To be redefine and live as Expressions of Seeing/Realizing/Understanding/Expanding/Growing and Developing myself, my vocabulary, verbal Expression, communication with Emphasis of Correction with the Enthusiasm of a Child in the midst of Exploring life for the first time.

Thanks for Reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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