Day 591: How did I Get to this Point Pt.3

Ok, so I left off in my previous post with: Day 590: How did I Get to this Point Pt.2

Being that for some reason I was too scared to join the forums because I didn’t know what to say, but had a million and one questions about what I was experiencing, I just continued liking the new video that would come out, mainly vlogs of others on my YouTube page. So, in the next post I’ll continue with how I came to finally join the forum and really start walking my process as well as why I am writing this.

The vlog I followed the most was Marlen’s Vlogs and Blog, which were like some of the first I came across, that resonated with me, but in the meantime, I was still going through a lot of self-induced fear, paranoia and anxiety, and my situation wasn’t getting any better, so one evening while going through an extreme Mind Possession, of questioning is all of this even real, I became frantic and actually though that I was in a simulation of sort and everyone else had already gone through it and was waiting for me finish, I mean it was a pretty intense, looking back on how I was pacing around the warehouse where if I had any hair on my head I would have definitely pull it all out, emotions and feeling was just coming from all side and I couldn’t stop them in that moment.

Then at the height of my possession the most interesting thing happen, I picked up my phone as something to do to try and take my mind off of what I was going through, and realized I had a few new emails, and just so happened the first one was a comment that Marlen liked my YouTube page, and then Martjin and one after another a few other Destonians like my YouTube page, because the only things that was on it was all Desteni videos, interview and Vlogs that I Liked, and at that moment I dropped the Mind Possession and burst into tears, as in an unbelievable WOW, this is real.

So after I calmed down, I text a thank you response back and received a reply back from Marlen, saying something along the lines, and straight to the point of; “If you’re done chasing after these Energy Experiences, we’re Here”, or something like that, which blew my mind and me away, but from that point on, I didn’t experience anymore Mind Possession to That Extreme, but still was a bit reluctant to move forward and join the forums, that is until one day I woke up and notice that there was no activity on YouTube, no vlogs/blogs nothing that I could see from Desteni, so I thought to myself this is weird and the entire day something didn’t feel right, so I did my day’s work and went back to the warehouse thinking, ok I sure someone posted something, what’s going on, and then there was a post by Marlen, with an update on what happened, as which time I became extremely scared, like Oh NO, NO, NO, wondering if I missed the boat, so the next thing I did was to go straight to the forums and joined, introduced myself and I knew at that point that if I did that, it was no turning back, so I did.

After my Introduction, it was suggested to start the DIP Lite Free Online Course, so that’s what I did, and
“Oh boy”, what I experienced firsthand was an Awakening of my Awareness, Literally, need I say more, lol, I mean while learning about the Mind, my Thoughts, Feelings and Emotions, what are they and where they come from, the importance of Writing/Self-Forgiveness and Corrective Application, the Fear point that existed within me was Really tested and pushed to the limit, to the point of me wanting to stay away as long as I could, because with every Lesson came a New realization, and a New point of Awareness, until no more proof was needed to be give, as something that was initially hard for me to face, but with a buddy made things easier. And with the help of my buddy, I got through it.

Into moving onto the last lesson of the DIP Lite course, my buddy at the time directed me to start Writing a Blog and that’s what I did and haven’t stopped since, thing is, the decision I made to join Desteni, is why I am Here today, alive and well and for that I am extremely Grateful.

Point being, in realizing that this process is forever, at times it may seem like, I’m not experiencing any forward progress and/or thinking about change, have I really changed, and at times, being stuck in one point, leaves room for the mind to wonder, speculate and lose sight on what one has done thus far in one’s own process, so how did I get to this point, becomes a cross reference for me to see where I have been, and what I have walked through, who I was, blind and unaware of my own reality, to who I am now and all the better for it, and most importantly, as motivation to the continuation of the path I’m walking, my Journey to Life, from Consciousness to Awareness.

So Here I stand as a work in progress and as the main Principle of “How did I Get to this Point”.

Thanks for reading.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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