I am, as something I tell myself, because recently I’ve joined a gym and started working out again after quite a few years of not doing much, where the only thing I’ve done throughout the time off was maybe a few pushups here and there and a little arm work and of course ride my bike, (as that was my only means of transportation, there for a while), but not any full body regiment as I once did many years ago, and the interesting thing back then was, and the main reason I worked out always had to do with someone else and never for myself, as a complete connection of all my extremities working as one unit to achieve my physical utmost potential, to become one with my human physical body, aligning every muscle to one accord, and although I may have been in shape way back then, it was all for show, to be seen by someone and/or talked to and about as someone cool, because of the way I looked, as looks prevailed and was of the utmost importance to me back then, being that I was living a superficial life.
So, while working out in the gym back then, I would perpetuate a character every time I would see someone looking at me, where if it was a girl, lol, I would start huffing and puffing as if I was really doing something, then put on this tired/it hurts face after my set, as the ‘show off character’ for some sort of sympathy, while peeking out the corner of my eye, to see if I got her attention, but on the other hand, if it was a guy, I would put as much weight as I could on the bar and max out for one set, as if I was antagonizing him like saying, ‘see that’, then would end up eating my own words when someone else would came up and put on more weight than I could ever lift, at which time, it was time for me go.
Thing is looking back on this, it really didn’t make any sense because, I would be the one going home sore, experiencing cramps and pulled muscles, which only hurt my body more than it helped in the long run, you see, it would then take me an extra-long time to heal myself and get better and then once I got better I would do the same thing all over again, letting which ever character I deemed fit work me out, and another thing was whenever I would walk passed a mirror in the gym, I would look at myself and erect my posture to fit the character that I was perpetuating, touch my arms and or cockily flex my muscles, as if to say to myself; “Man you good” lol., which was only my Ego talking.
I mean it’s funny looking back at how I used to be really stuck in my mind with a big Ego, thinking/believing that I was living the good life, but it is no laughing matter the way I turned out, before I started walking my process, but when I started my process I remember writing a blog entitled Exercise, where I talked about the disregard I had for my body while exercising and was pretty much weary about doing any exercise at all, so from that point up until recently, I only road my bike out of necessity, until I got my truck, then there was nothing, outside of doing a bit of physical labor at times as work.
What I then experienced was sort of a disconnect with my joints, where my joints would become sore from not being active and I would find myself slouching while sitting down in chairs, and even standing up at times, as well as becoming tired throughout my days, as if I lacked the physical energy to do anything more than just typical work related stuff, outside of that I really had no life, and didn’t make any me time, but would finish my days off sitting behind the computer screen, so when the opportunity presented itself, recently to join a gym and start working out again, I jumped to the chance.
So, in the next post I’ll continue with the experience of me, being back in the gym and correcting this Character defect I existed as, that still at times rear its ugly head.
To Be Continued…