Day 582: Jumping the Gun

In rush hour traffic, we tend to jump the gun everytime we seeing an opening in the other lane, but as soon as we jump over into the other lane it comes to a halt, and the lane we were previously in moves ahead, where we’re then wonder why we switched lanes in the first place and if you’re stuck in traffic for a period of time, (such as the LA traffic), you’ll find yourself doing this quite a few times until you reach your destination, which can get a bit nerve wrecking, for those who are not that used to driving and waiting in rush hour traffic for an extended period of time.

Now the same of sorts I see happening in one’s process, where let’s say your Mind is like rush hour traffic and the points you walk through are like different lane, where we’ll start in one lane, working on/walking through one point, then get to a point where you’ve walked everything you see in the moment, thinking that you have a grip on it, and then go to change lanes/move over into the next point and come to a standstill, but when looking back over at the previous point, you’ll find that you’ve missed something, because something is still moving inside you, that cause you to slip back into and old behavior that you didn’t see, but decided to jump the gun, and move onto the next point/the next lane in rush hour traffic, as your mind, then end up saying; “Man I’ve been down this lane/road before, but did see the underlying point (the pothole) I just slipped into, because it was blocked by the cars in front of me, before I switched over into the other lane and on to the New point.

Point being, I’ve found myself doing this a few times in my process thus far, that I see has/is only prolonging my process, where, what may seem as a resolve to a point that I walked, may at times only be a mirage, because I haven’t tested every aspect of the point I’ve walked out thoroughly, so then when a different approach comes my way, I’m not ready for it, meaning, I didn’t see that coming, but could have, if I would have tested for myself that approach as well.

Sometimes placing oneself in a similar position of reaction (for example), that one has walked through, is not the only test needed to confirm that one gets the point/have walked through into transcendence of the point, the point, I mean I’ve once heard that a point must be tested out in every possible way, to check and see if there’s any movement what so ever coming up within and as you, and if so, then you haven’t totally transcended the point, meaning there’s something else that needs more investigating;

Which I wasn’t following all the way through, but have only gotten to the point of making sure I didn’t experience any reaction on a major in your face level, but on an subtle, constant nagging by someone (per se), I wouldn’t really check myself on those, but just do a quick self-forgiveness and push it aside as if it was a fleeting thought, but it wasn’t, it was now a suppressed reaction, which over time would accumulate into one big reaction that would come out at the wrong time, all because I jumped the gun and moved on to the next point without totally clearing myself from the first point first, now it’s like having to back from scratch, and re-walk the point up until the part I missed and take the time to re-investigate it again.

So, at that point was where I kept finding myself, giving myself the runaround in essence, to the point of something a bit more serious happening, from having missed the underlying point of a point that I’ve previously walked. Know my initial reaction was to beat myself up about it, but that would have only created a new point for me to walk through, and what reminded me of this fact was, after explaining this to someone, they simply said; “You have walk that path now and learned from it – so simply breathe and let it go”, because I have a tendency to hold onto things a bit too long, but as a learning, understanding, correcting in to live experience, I now see/realize the importance of testing out a point in every possible, conceivable way, before “Jumping the Gun.

Thanks for reading.


About carltontedford

In Process.
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