I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined scheduling as something done to appease other people, where it seemed as if I was always on someone else’s time and not my own, growing up. In essence knowing that I had to do something and/or be somewhere at a certain time, begs me to question, what was I getting out of it, because back then and now looking in hindsight, I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that I needed to do certain things, at certain times, a certain way in order to survive in this world, and those things took scheduling.
If it wasn’t of my liking, why should I have to do it, without saying a word, but conforming to the formalities of doing what I was told, as any scheduling was done for me, straight up and throughout my Service Time, although the importance came to life during those times in a way, when training for and going into combat, where at certain times we had to do certain thing like clockwork, but be that as it may, those things became less important, once I was released and thrown back into society at which time a laziness took effect.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gotten used to others doing the scheduling for me, as a demand to survive when placed in a compromising situation, such as a war front, where the training then paid off.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize, scheduling practice after practice, in order to get good at a certain skill set, then placed in the Arena to where that skill set is needed is the key to survival, i.e., not limited to having, finding and maintaining a Job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become so used to following a made-up schedule, that when It was time for me to write my own, I only stuck to the basic of things I had to do, as a necessity, and not the actual getting my life in order type scheduling.
This laziness I speak of came in the form of having rebelled against the idea that my life has to be lived by a schedule in this day and age, where since I was so used to living by others scheduling for me, there was a sense of not wanting to do it for myself now that I had to, so at times I became too lazy to schedule for myself and still wanted to wing it, which worked some times and at other times didn’t.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become too lazy to schedule things for myself, where I would invoke the stigma I had to scheduling as an excuse to not do it for me all the time but partially.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the benefits of scheduling, because I’ve hadn’t really look at it in the sense of it being beneficial, but only as a job, something I must do at times to stay on top of things and not fun.
Being that I do schedule now more than I ever done, the point of this blog is to redefine scheduling to where I see it as something fun to do not only s necessity, because it will assist with the organization of getting my life in order.
So I commit myself to redefining scheduling from that of being something I dreaded doing and saw only as a necessity, where, I believed it to be in service of other people and not me, to that of creating structure for the things I’ve committed myself to do at specific times throughout my day, week, month, year and life, that would assist me in getting to the point of living my life to the capacity of my utmost and fullest potential, which in fact would make, having/making a schedule a fun thing to do.
So, this point of schedule my life into organization so to speak, lol, is but one point in a group of points to be walked and lived in my life, so in the next post, I will move onto the word Goals, to also create a basic layout for redefinition of this word.
To be continued.