Day 559: Soliciting Reactions Pt. 2

What I see as the difference between Soliciting Reactions and Soliciting A Reaction, is that with soliciting reactions, comes from my mind, in the form of bringing up continuous thoughts back to back, as what I experienced and shared in my previous post, verses Soliciting A Reaction, is what I have perpetuated unto/towards and received from other, that the difference only became clearer to me after I written my previous post to be more specific, because when interacting with someone, usually it’s that one point that we attempt to drill into someone our dismay, to out of spite Solicit A Reaction from them, which comes from the Mind point of Soliciting Reactions at any given moment to any given thought, as I see it.

So, the Self-Forgiveness, I will do in two parts, one for Soliciting Reactions as a mind point and the other, Soliciting A Reaction to a specific point one would bring up when interacting with others.

Soliciting Reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dumbfound with the minds ability to soliciting reactions from me, where after an undistracted observation of myself and my mind, in the midst of doing some physical work, I realized the amount of random thoughts that was coming up within and as me nonstop, which were specific in nature, to things and times throughout my life, that may have/has cause me to react before, in order for me to react to them again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have reacted to thoughts coming up in my mind after being solicited by my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to solicit reactions from me and fall for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become emotional in reacting to the thoughts that comes up in my mind, where I would follow the thought around in my head as if I was back in the memory connected to the thought, as a waste of time from focusing on what’s in front of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of remaining focus on the work in front of me/what I was doing, follow the thoughts around in my head into reactions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize, what the mind brings up, is connected to fear that exist within me, in relations to relationships of my past, fearing the belief that I won’t be able to experience being with someone again, instead of investigating my starting point of feeling the need to be with someone again, as in why, what’s the urgency, when I know good and well that being with me should be my priority in adjusting to my New found self-intimacy, that would get me to the point of being ready for any future potential Partnership Relationship Agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have followed preordained thoughts around in my head that would lead me back to the same point everytime, that of being and/or missing being in a relationship with someone, then wake up from this Memorex Nightmare, (As the oh so ever rewinding Tape Player) just to realize; “Awh Man I did it again”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize that reacting to old thoughts/memories solicited by my mind, is like having an allergic reaction, (Now) to something I ate 10 years ago, meaning, it just don’t make any sense at all, which only the mind is able to bring up and present something like that to us, as we blindly follow it, into living a life of Sickness, everytime we regurgitate these ever so carefully selected memories of our past as Soliciting Reactions from our minds.

Soliciting A Reaction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have expressed my dismay about something towards another, in the attempt to solicit a reaction from them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the midst of my frustration and/or anger, concern and worry, wanted others to side with me, so in telling them my situation I would emphasize the main point in the attempt to solicit a reaction from them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize how one-sided and selfish I’ve become, in the attempt to solicit a reaction from other, so that I can feel at ease for the part I played, Yes, the trap I’ve place myself within a problematic situation in my life, that had nothing to do with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and make others happy, by attempting to solicit a reaction from them, because I was happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made others angry, through soliciting a reaction from them, because I was angry.

I forgive myself that I have I have accepted and allowed myself to have said things to others in a certain way to solicit a reaction from them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the moment of wanting to seek revenge on someone for making me feel a certain way, said specific words in a different tonality in the attempt to solicit a reaction from them and within that, I forgive myself that I have accept and allowed myself to have believed that someone could make me feel a certain way, instead of realize myself to be the sole controller of my emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have throughout my life, purposefully solicited a reaction from other to get them angry/mad and/or frustrated, because I was experiencing said emotion at the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to growing up haven seen people soliciting a reaction from one others, and the outcome they got is stuck with me to the point of me creating a personality from it, as I saw this as an efficient way to get my way, what I wanted at times, which in the end only created consequences for myself, in the form of others pushing my buttons, soliciting a reaction from me, then reacting to their solicitation.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand, that what the mind do to us, we do and perpetuate onto towards others, with no understanding of where this comes from and how it work, therefore no correction is taken.

But through Desteni, in utilizing the tools that given of Writing, Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective and Commitment Statements, I have the ability and able to stop what my Mind perpetuates onto me through Soliciting Reactions, and what I perpetuate onto/towards other through Soliciting A Reaction from them. So;

When and as I see myself, accepting and allowing my Mind to Solicit Reactions from me, I stop and breathe and take a step back, as to interrupt my thought patterns and then inject self-forgiveness where I see fit, that’s needed to slow myself down and stop the soliciting of Me. I see/realize/understand that by exposing myself through reactions, I am limiting myself from ever expanding/growing/developing myself to reach my fullest potential, and becoming who I am as life. I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to react to the thoughts as memories coming up from my mind, but instead to forgive and let go of these memories unconditionally.

When and as I see myself, going into reactionary mode and reacting to something in my life, where I then want to bring others into it, through soliciting a reaction from them, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that my problem is my problem to solve and my reactions only escalate my problems to no resolve and to bring others into it, is an excuse after the fall, so al and all reactions are useless acts that only feed the mind pieces of me. So, I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to perpetuate such spiteful behavior, in the attempt to solicit a reaction from other, as I see/realize/understand that in doing so, I am opening the door for the same to be done unto me.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to bring others into my world of emotions through solicitation, but instead to investigate and correct myself for the emotions I’m experience from falling for being solicited by my mind to react.

Thanks for reading

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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