Day 556: Let’s Talk About Me

Making a good impression around those you’ve just met is one thing, but when making a good impression is abided with “Let’s talk about me”, changes the dynamics of things, being that I’m-pressing myself to come up with a character to make myself look good in front of others, with the belief that who I am is not good enough and therefore must be altered/changed or added to, as the insinuation of something that I’m not.

Let’s start from the beginning, where parents do this oh so well, allowing there child to have company over to their home, just to invade the mind of the young guest, while claiming that they have the best interest of their child in mind, as some parents want to be seen as the cool Mom or Dad, and other first impression is to be seen as a controller and/or maybe protector, so for those few seconds of introduction, believe it or not, the parents to play the game of; “let’s talk about me”, that comes in the form of Ground Rules, and/or the “carefree” attitude type, stating “Have fun Kid” or “Don’t do what I wouldn’t do”, leaving the company to perceive them (the parent) as something that they’re not on a daily bases, that’s why the majority of the time, once we as the child enter into our own space with our guest, the first things that come out of our mouths is; “Don’t mind them”, meaning get them out of your mind, because they’re not usually like this, adjusting the other kid back to normal.

Rarely do sibling introduce their friends to each other to a point of them conversing with one another, outside of, “This is so and so” and this is my brother/sister”, the exchange of greeting and that’s it, because obviously, that’s our friend and when we (me and my friend) are together = “Let’s talk about me” and not you, which brings up the point of, the center of attention.

Better yet, wanting to be the center of attention, where during Junior High and High School, the most talkative people becomes the center of attention, leaving virtually no room for others to get a word in elsewise, once they have the floor, it’s let’s talk about me, how I feel , how I view things, what I like and don’t like and if you don’t like it, leave, because nobody asked you to come around anyway, which is a lie, but since it’s said in a public domain, those who follow suit , start’s believing the lie they’re hearing and ends up agreeing with the Liar, which creates a Layer of separation between you and the person in question, because you see, within this context, Layer are Lies that we use to coverup and not face the truth of the deception we’ve allowed, by listening to the loud mouth speak about themselves. (There’s one in every group).

We then graduate to showing off in most cases, as we reach Young Adult, to Adulthood, where the prime objective is to create yourself into anyone you would like to be, because the ones who know you most are no longer around, once you decide to leave your home town, as I did, in which I applied the saying of, what happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas, to moving away from Flint, Michigan, where what happened in Flint, Michigan stayed there when I left and moved to Hawaii, and now I was able to talk about me in a different way because nobody knew me and I didn’t want them to know how I was raised, so the talk about me, became of what I could do physically and the skills I had, which really wasn’t about me, but another Layer to hide the truth of who I was.

These layer eventually came tumbling down one by one, as I continued creating the next character and then the next, as myself, to keep the talk about me going, funny thing was, now of course I had characters, but what I did while perpetuating these character added up to haven done a lifetime of shit, more than a normal person would go through, but not in a negative way, but in the sense, having been to different places around the world and have done things that people would only dream of doing.

Interesting fact, before I found Desteni, was when I was hanging out with a Russian friend of mind in Vegas, where his female friend came in town to the U.S. for the first time in her life, so he invited me to hang out with them at his Pad (Home), so on the way there we were all talking and I started talking about me and some of the things I’ve done, that I at that time though to be a normal conversation, so as we got to his place, I continued talking about stuff that I did, which was for most part true, but eye openly enough at the break point of our conversation, she simply said, hey you’re a cool dude, but you don’t have to talk about yourself so much, you’re cool enough just being you, which was the first time someone ever said something like to me, where in looking at what she said, I pondered there for a moment and was blown away that she was right, like WOW, and there was nothing I could say about it, because although I was telling the truth about things, for that first time I stood outside myself and observed exactly how I had been perpetuating this character of talking about myself for the longest, so from then on, although I caught myself doing this a few more times, I became more aware of when I would talk about myself too much., but the correction didn’t come until later.

To be continued…

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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