Day 512: Management Pt 4

Wrapping up this blog series on Management, I now see the seriousness needed to Manage oneself at all times, I mean seriously it’s not that hard to do, it only takes investigating one’s relationship to the word management, then one’s relationship to oneself, to become one with self, it takes management to change from the Man-Anger/Wo-Man-Anger (Manager) you were, to become equal to and one with Self as life as who you really are.

Continuing Self-Forgiveness… For more context go HERE Day 510 Management Pt. 2

management-pt4I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that once I reach my man-age, I am supposed to be able to manage myself, although in a way I did, but didn’t realize, to really manage myself takes more that the basic things I was taught.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to once I was out on my own, even though, I took
that I’ve learned growing up, I still wasn’t able to manage myself correctly and ended up scratching to surviving instead of living my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in managing myself take the good, the bad and the ugly, as the things I saw that needed to be managed and use this management as a controlling/covering mechanism of sorts, trying to control/cover up the amount of bad and ugly that would get out to the rest of the world, if not managed correctly, instead of investing in self a form of correction, by investigating the bad and ugly that exist within and as me and correcting it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage myself back in my hay days, whenever me and certain friends would get together, where we would become overly expressive, encapsulated in our own little banana world and becoming unrulily in the energy experience of ourselves we existed as, due to the extra energetic additive we took, while out partying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have mismanaged myself in the past, every time I would go out partying with old friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to the other day when an old friend got in touch with me and showed me pictures of my old self, react surprisingly to how I used to be, instead of realizing myself to be this person I was looking at too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take crazy looking pictures of myself with other, while inebriated, clearly showing how I had mismanaged myself, back then, time and time again, while claiming that I was having fun.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how fuck up I was back then, until I saw these pictures, although knowing I wasn’t myself, back then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then laugh at the mental state I was in back then, not realizing that it was no joke nor laughing matter, but sad to say the least.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how the way I was, affected others around me, because of mismanaging myself, that I’m sure in a way pushed people away, as well as drawn some closer to me, where through my actions, probably change them from who they were, before the met me, into a likeminded personality, so for that to all the being that I am unaware of that probably changed because of me, I’m sorry and asking you to please forgive me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself have not really manage myself during those times, but let myself be managed/controlled by my mind and whole heartedly believing that being in this state was who I really was.

So in essence, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grow up as a religious fanatic, then get out on my own with no awareness of what I was getting myself into, to being comfortable doing what I was doing, all the way to the point of perpetuating this unrulily behavior and enjoying it at the same time, not realizing that this is what happens when you grow up sheltered, blinded by a belief system that keeps you dumb downed to what’s really going on in this world and reality, but still the fault lies with me, because, I am the one who perpetuated, accepted and allowed myself to live as the Man-Anger (Manager) I was.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I left home (as they say) went ‘Praying on my way and prayed so much that (hypothetically speaking) God answered my prayer of wanting to be free and do what I wanted to do, straight into the mismanagement of my life, my world and reality. And, within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage my life, my world and reality. And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage all my relationships, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage almost every job I had and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage just about all the friendships I had and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back then mismanage any means I ever had to survive in a way, and found myself with nothing, not realizing that this is what happens when you think you know how to manage yourself, but never seize the opportunity when given a chance to answer the question, Who Am I. So;

When and as I see myself not taking the management of myself seriously, I stop and breathe. As I see/realize/understand that it takes corrective management to correct oneself, but on the other hand all it takes that one time chasing after an energy experience of any type, to slip into mismanagement mode and fuck everything up, meaning by repeating a pattern or falling for the same Trigger point that would draw you/me back into my old ways of doing thing, and so I can’t manage that, but instead I commit myself to staying on top my words/ways/deeds and behavior with awareness and stopping any trigger point that would lead me into temptation and back into the mismanagement of myself.
Learn how to really manage yourself and not just manage to get by, HERE @ (Desteni I Process Lite) Free Online Course

Thanks for reading

Desteni.org

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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