Day 511: Management Pt 3

For context start Here Day: 509

management-pt3Corrective Management = Managing the inner most Core of oneself, meaning what constitutes who you have become, to correcting and changing yourself to who you are as life, which was beyond me at that point in my life, as I still was aligned to the religious aspect of thing, I mean even still today as far as management, there is much more managing that needs to be done on myself in order for me to reach my utmost potential, so Here I’ll do some self-forgiveness to expedite this process, so I can get to the point of expanding myself even more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when thinking of the word management think of a hierarchy, the upper echelon, authority figure, the elite or my boss, anyone who is above me that runs a company, business or group, where in my past I hadn’t considered the point of self-management, but have given my power away to these authority figures to manage my life for me, in telling me what was best for me, instead of me figuring it out on my own and doing what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to in my life, manage myself, until I started to investigate this self (me) that needed to be managed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been the first to tell someone what to do, but on the other hand, never really told myself what or what not to do, I just left what I did or didn’t do up to chance, meaning, I gave my mind the power to manage me, unaware that I was doing so.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that self-management involves, listening to oneself, which I thought I was doing, but in fact I was listening to my mind. Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have listened to my mind, thinking it was myself telling me how to manage me, but it wasn’t as what I was being told that I followed, ended up screwing up my life and only in hindsight did I realize, this wasn’t real self-management.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that I could manage others when I didn’t know the first thing about managing, let along how to manage myself correctly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I was discipline, being that I was raised in a disciplined environment, but did have enough discipline to manage myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that managing myself only consisted of, waking up in the morning, cooking myself breakfast, taking a shower and getting ready to go out and face my day and that was it, with no consideration of managing the thoughts I thought, the feelings I would experience, the emotions that would come up within and as me and the reactions I had/would have towards things and what other people would do/say to me in my world and/or in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manage to feed off of the conflict of others, in making it my own by reacting to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have suppressed the pain that would come up in my body, showing me what I needed to manage to correct within and as me, by using supplements, medicine pills and drugs as a remedy, in thinking it would stop the pain indefinitely, but it didn’t and all I was doing was pushing myself further and further, (through mismanagement) into my mind and away from being Here, getting to know myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mismanage and squander the previous opportunities I had to manage myself into correction throughout my life, to the point of losing myself in the world system for a period of time, not realizing that I could be in this world, but not of this world, although, I was preached this sermon time and time again in religion throughout my life, but never realize, the being of this world, meant my participation in my mind internally/within, that has created my external reality/without and the world as it exist today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have only listened to my body in the past whenever my stomach was growling and/or when I had to use the toilet and still then waited until the last minute to do so and always found myself in a rush to get there, reacting to everyone who was in front of me, as if it’s their fault that I didn’t make a good management decision.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand until late, that self-management is more than just a way of doing things, more than eating , sleeping and waking up, making money and taking a shit, that it also, who you are in every moment of breath, what you think, the thoughts that comes up in your mind about other people, your responses and behavior, your actions when interacting with other, more than how you carry yourself, alone the lines of how you carry on with your personality management, to character creation, to learning what your natural form of expression is and then some, that make us who we are and/or have defined ourselves to be.

Will continue more in the next post…

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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