We repel silence as if it was killing us, stemming from when we were young and told to go take as time out or it’s quiet time, I mean without something going on or playing in the background, it’s hard for one to be calm, so we think. Have you ever had that friend who couldn’t go to sleep without listening to music or the TV on real loud, where they’ll sleep like a baby when it’s on, but as soon as you turn it off, they start tossing and turning and at times wake up grumpy, saying you disturbed my rest, I’ve see this a few times with a few friends of mine and when I asked why was that, they said that they like hearing sounds when they sleep, because if it’s quiet it feels like death, like WOW, that was pretty fascinating, because for me I sleep pretty light and would wake up at any sound, but when awake and moving around I would need music to do so, sort of like having a Theme song or songs, we use as travelling music, then react to the best parts of the songs, rewinding it just to play that one part again, was how I used music as the movement inside me, thinking I needed it as a daily interaction to cope with what was going on in my life, my world and reality.
Music really do make people react in weird ways, depending on the type of music you’re listen to, no matter who you are. Funny story, so the other evening I was coming back from running errands and pulled up to the stop light before getting on the freeway and looked over to my left and saw what it seemed like a clean cut all American white family, where the little daughter who was sitting in the front seat had like these Shirley Temple curls in her hair, while the clean cut white Dad was driving and the two son was in the back seat, where the oddest thing then happened, where on their radio I heard one of the most hardest rap songs out there coming on and the little girl started bopping her head then look at the Dad who started bopping his head, then look at me, so I chuckles and started bopping my head to, then they really got into it and everyone in the car started bopping their heads really hard to this hard ass rap song, so when the light turned green, the Dad then sped off, I mean like pedal to the floor and as we pulled onto the freeway another car came up from behind us going pretty fast, so this sweet American Family, started racing with this car, weaving in and out of traffic, until they went their separate way, like WOW again, and you could tell that it was because of the type of music they were listening to, were for some reason they just felt it, turned into whichever characters they saw fit and went all out there for a moment, as if it was just for me to see. Goes to show that music does move people in weird ways
The point of this blog, with context is, so since I started doing the business I’ve been doing for the last 4/5 years, while working, there’s always been music playing and when I first started, I was still letting the music I lessoned to/that I heard, define me in a way, by reacting to it and bringing up all these old ‘has been’ memories that has been dormant for some time, about the person who I was, the life I lead, the person who I was with, and the nature of our break up and so on, where I would become pretty Emotional as if I was internally crying and telling myself, why, why me, while presenting a solemn shell on the outside, but as time went on, I felt myself reacting less and less to whatever music that was playing, to the point of where the other day, as I’ve started back listening to music while working, notice that no matter what type of music or song that came on, I wasn’t reacting the way I used to, which was sort of liberating to say the least.
So now that I wasn’t reacting, I was able to listen to and see the pattern of how the repetitive nature of music today, was creating this movement inside me , where the words they used in every song meant something else, where it had become so blatant to me, I started sharing this with the two guys I was working with, they saw it and begin to share their perspective as well, which was pretty cool to see the transformation from the reactive me to the me of today, Although I still have a ways to go. So in the next post I’ll do some Self-Forgiveness on this point.
To be continued…