To see discretely what I’m about tell you, is like an unspoken oath we take after saying “Yes and of course”, to not tell the person we were told not to tell what we heard, although at the end of the day all secrets must and will come out. Beyond gossip, what secret lies underneath the secret that was told for you to keep, is the question we’re look at here.
Being that the ball is now in your court, so to speak, you’re now thrown into a decision-making process to now process the information that ‘Wasn’t’ given along with that little bit you’re told, I mean who knew it would come to this, ‘am I being tested to see where loyalty lies’, which means that loyalty in this since could be a lie and partial to those who suits your self-interest. “Well I don’t want to hurt the person who told me”, but what about the person who’s on the receiving end of your fabrication, your fabulous lie, where you’re now stuck in limbo deciding who’s right (especially if you know the person), but what if it’s a choice between who lives or dies, without knowing the outcome of what you will or will not tell.
Common sense would say, if it’s hurtful or detrimental to the person, if you tell them, then don’t, but if it would assist a person in making a correct life decision, then by all mean tell them, I mean for the longest I’ve struggled with whether or not to tell someone what someone told me not to say and a lot of times I would end up making the wrong decision, but only a few times would I get it right, meaning for example, if someone would tell me something about a mutual friend of ours, two things would either happen that would constitutes the saying; “Damned if you do/Damned if you don’t”, where in the end, one of them would be mad at me, as I would find myself more of a divider than a neutral person, while claiming to be someone who brings people together, thing was in the context of friends, although I told myself that, I hated gossip, I was still addicted to hearing it, then in my ignorance, I would go back and tell the next person, thinking that in doing so, I would be bringing the two together to resolve their differences, but back then, little did I know about the one thing standing in the way, “The Mind”, where at times when we think it’s the right thing to do, may not be so after all, and in the aftermath you’re stuck in the middle with both parties looking at you, with distrust and disdain in their eyes. Lesson well learned and now since I’ve pretty much walked through that point, want recently opened up is another dimension in it all.
Dreams have an interesting way of showing us things that we’ve missed or hadn’t seen a deeper dimension of, where the other night I had a dream of me, my mom and a friend of hers in the house I grew up in, sitting at a table talking and in the conversation the lady was saying that her husband was coming over and everything was fine, but she didn’t want her husband to know that she already came by and asked for me to keep a secret, so I said ok as she went somewhere in the house and came back with this jar her husband had hidden, which had these crystal circular pills in it and gave me a few, where I then ate one and put the rest in my pocket, her and my mom then left and her husband came over and as we were sitting out on the front porch talking, he asked if his wife had been there, I didn’t say anything, but slightly shook my head, as if I was insinuating no, I haven’t seen her, so after a while, as I adjusted my sitting position, one of the pills fell out of my pocket and rolled straight towards him, as we both looked at the pill and each other, he then went inside the house and came back out with the jar and said are you sure, knowing that I was caught red handed as I went to tell him the truth, I woke up.
Although this secret wasn’t such a big deal in my dream, what was though, was the aspect of lying, when asked if I knew something, I refused to say yes, and as I look back on it, in a way I had accepted a payment in the form of a Crystal Pill to keep my mouth shut, so that’s two point that needed investigation and the relevance of the house I grew up in, was showing me how I had been this way since I was a child, in accepting things from others, to keep their secret and the relevance of my mother being there, showed me where I got this pattern from, which WOW’d me that I saw with clarity and understood the different aspects of the dream, so I then wrote about it when I got up and gifted myself the point of lying within keeping a secret, and how I for the longest accepted different things in returned for keeping someone’s secret.
To be continued…