Day 488: The Weirdest Dream of Abuse

the-weirdest-dream-about-abuseAs a preface, the littlest thing that we don’t pay attention to, think that, it’s nothing to be concern about, that we can use it, abuse it and discard it, because it’s the normal thing to do, is that of ourselves that we’ve forgotten about, forgot that this, that and the other thing is a part of me, down to the smallest piece of paper we use for different thing, I mean it may sound weird, but how many times have you started writing something and didn’t like what you we’re writing, then scribbled on the piece of paper out of frustration, balled it up and said “2 points” as you shoot it towards the basket, but missed and it fell on the floor, where you just left it for a while? I mean it’s just a piece of paper, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s there for our use and abuse, and to be discarded, shredded or burned, if it houses the secrets we don’t want others to see, then turn right back around and scream bloody murder, when we see the destruction/the devastation that deforestation brings, like in the Amazons and create organizations called Green Peace, while using the very thing we’re protesting being cut down, burned down, I mean it’s a tragedy to say the least anyway you put it, but that being amiss, being that we need paper to write on, I mean just something to think about that need to be investigated and corrected at some point, which starts with watching our consumption.

In the dream, I was Auditioning (along with others) to get into the Television Industry, and you know how dreams just jump from one scene to the next,’ after I finish Auditioning, I went back to see where I stood, my standing/ranking for position, in other word, did I make the cut, and as I was waiting, there was this guy who came out of nowhere, who started talking to the person in charge on my behave, stating that I had all these credentials, that I had no idea I did, which made them pick me to go to the next phase, ok cool so, in the next phase, (the next part of the dream), I was with this girl where we went onto a set in another building, where when we walked up to the Actors, surprisingly enough it was a group of girl, I knew in my past and I introduced this new friend of mind to them, and was explaining how we just made it to this next phase of Auditions, but while I was explaining, I notice none of them were really listen to what I was saying, but more interested in the girl I introduced to them, walking around her and checking her out, as if they really liked her, so I had something to go do and left this girl with them (mind you this is a dream), and when I came back, I found the girl all battered and bruised as if she’d just been abused, and when I asked her are you ok, what happened, she said; “I’m fine it’s ok, I’m a Toothpick”, then transformed her shape back into a Toothpick and said; “See, I get that all the time”, which surprised the shit out of me and woke me up out of my sleep, I initially started laughing about me talking to a Toothpick and all, but then stopped and started seeing the message in it all, what this dream was showing me.

I mean to look back at all the things we’ve abused, that we’ve taken things out on, unaware we’re only taking things out on ourselves literally, such as kicking and punching walls, when we’re frustrated or angry or throwing our phone or our partners phone, mad for some reason or another, I mean I’ve heard that you can communicate with the things around you as you and if it’s true (which it is), means everything in your world and reality is aware of themselves being you, so why not realize them to be us too, so the next time you go use something that’s there to support you in whatever way that’s need for you, take heed to that thing being you and take care of it, maybe say thank you for a change, I mean I’m sure you’ve said it to money at some point within your life, (Thank god I got this money), which is just a piece of paper, how Ironic, so why not to everything else in your world, this being the realization I had from the dream I had the other day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse some of the things I took for granted as the things around me, I choose to assist and support me in my day to day living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard some of my material possession, by wearing them out before time, due to my frustration, taking it out on any given particular thing of mine that was in the vicinity when I decided to become frustrated and or angry at someone or something that had nothing to do with this particular thing/object.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the support any particular thing gives me, but in return, not take care of this particular thing, that it can support me for a longer period of time (per se)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed in my mind with just me alone, unaware of the things around me being me + me = all one.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand, everything around me as being aware as me, and thus treated them like “This dumb piece of paper,” and so on and so forth, and such.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have broken things because they we’re in my way and I wasn’t aware of them.

Throughout my life I’ve been told to take care of things, for them to last a long time, but obviously I let my mind step in at times to change this equation, but also only saw this as being the superficial things like my music equipment, clothes and cars , which kept me in a way in a limited existence, with a limited awareness of things, so as I am a work in progress, I commit myself to being more aware of Everything around me and my interaction with Everything around me, the things I use and disregard, to at least say thank you, which looks and sound weird if you’re reading this for the first time, but after you start doing some investigation into you, you’ll start to see that everything around me is me.

Thanks for reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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