Day 486: What If (The Flip Side of The Coin)

what-if-flip-side-of-the-coin“What if was 5th”, then I would be drunk, every time I went into my imagination seeing things that hasn’t happen, struck by the idea of ‘what if I didn’t have to write this blog, then the world would be a changed place, as crazy as it sounds, I realize now the IF of the matter as being I Fail or I Failed, where in, I Fail to see reality for what it really is, so I create an alternate reality in my mind, imagining what if. I Fail to take responsibility for the world I live within myself, to correct/change my imagination from seeing things in my mind, to being Here all the time. I Fail to see and accept what’s right in front of me, so through my nonacceptance, this imaginary picture in my head, is the claim of what if this happened, because this world is not enough as stimulation for me to move myself, I need conflict to stimulate me, so pardon me if I think what if a car came by and splashed me with this puddle of water in front of me, while standing on the corner, at the cross walk, waiting for the light to change, then it happens.

Every time ‘I wish’ is an abdication of our responsibility from accepting the reality we’ve created, as in what if I had the power to blink myself changed, we use this very much so in religion and mind games, hoping for a way to make our problems magically disappear, but fear still persist, so no one hears, because that in which we believe in and pray to, Giveth and Taketh away, even the idea of freedom is such a limited space, as a child I learned to stand, then fell from grace and ever since then, I’ve been to scared to face who I am in what I create, in the bad habits and distaste, then think myself to another place, because I’m tired of being Here.

Stuck in this reality I’ve created for myself, envious of those that have it better than me, saying what if I had the money they have, I would make a difference, for everyone out loud, thinking that if I say everyone, what if it happens, while secretly in my mind only thinking about me, I mean what is it about me that I want to change, hoping by saying what if, will save the day, then I don’t have to do the work it take to innate change onto myself.

What if, is an inaction that will never happen, being that if you took action on everything you’re enacting, what if would be null in void, instead of avoiding responsibility, make a choice to stand as and do the what if you want to happen with passion, unless the what if you want to happen is based in self-interest, I mean we can all say what if this world was a changed place, but without changing ourselves, it will and always remain the same.

Why is it that every memory we have come with an add on, a what if I had done things differently, even the good memories, where we in our minds add on the what if to make that memory even better than it is, I mean it’s non-stop, we’re constantly what if-ing ourselves, as a hell of a point to walk through, because at times we don’t even realize that we’re doing it, but once you catch onto yourself doing it, through other ways than saying what if, you’ll realize, just how much you’ve been what if-ing yourself.

The magic spell of ‘what if’ happens because I can’t spell things out for myself and the resistance is too strong for me to change, in fact, we’re look at the what if I didn’t change, right now, and have gotten too comfortable with being the same, like being acclimated to Hell and enjoying it, with heaven looming on the other side of our minds, which isn’t a what if, but an inevitability, Here it’s not what we make of it, but will we make it Here, What If.

Point is, if we change our ‘What If’s to When, How and Now, the satisfaction will come in knowing that I didn’t Fail to take responsibility, but responded with using my ability to make something out of me, and live and be the change I want wo see in this world and reality as me.

Thanks for reading


About carltontedford

In Process.
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