Day 480: Last Man Standing Syndrome

last-man-standingWhere is the consideration of others, if we all must and will get to the point of completing this process together, humanity as a whole? I mean it’s easy to accept the fate of someone excommunicating themselves from around you, then chase after the energy of being/wanting to be the last one/man standing (per se), happily saying to yourself; “I must be doing something right, because I’m still around, so fuck em”, they have their own process to walk, which for most part is true, but what we fail to realize, is that, for every person that loses interest (for whatever reason), makes humanity as a whole process that much longer, so all and all, it’s not an I thing, it’s a we thing, unless the I = staying my course to expand my understanding of how things work, so that I’m able to say more to someone then just; “you should or shouldn’t be doing this, that and the other, it ashamed how we allow this energy to come up within and as us, as an excited rush of sort, in our lives when someone leaves the group, company or get fired from the job, why do we feel better about ourselves, about our standing when things like this happens.

It seems that being that last one standing would be a lonely place to be, being that everyone else fail to the waste side, so is it really worth it? I mean at last I’m finally standing for something, that I know is real for an astronomical amount of reason and the last thing I would like to feel is an energetic experience/rush within me of someone leaving, but this is how it’s been for me throughout my life, whatever I was a part of something, if someone would leave there would be this positive feeling of sorts coming up within and as me, as if I was hoping to be the last one standing.

This was so engrained within me, that even if I was going down on a losing team, I would say “oh well”, at least I’ll be the last one standing and went down with the ship, which happen when I used to work at a radio station in Las Vegas, were although we were the #1 Hip Hop station in town for some years, for whatever reason Corporate decide that they would change formats, so everyone started leaving going to different stations and such, but I decided to stay, with my cocky ass and was let go before they shut down.

Thing is being in a group is where it’s at, especially if the group live the principle of Oneness and Equality, meaning if we all stand together, there’s no need to be the last man standing, but to remain standing at last until this is done, as the commitment, I’ve made for myself to continue doing.

So, this is just a few words that was on my mind, take it how you will, but when it’s all said and done, make sure you are Standing at Last and not the Last One Standing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wanted to be the last man standing in and throughout different situation, throughout my life where, whenever someone would leave a group that I was participating in, a job, some friends or associates, I would have this positive energy coming up within me, as if I was doing something right, not taking into consideration others, but as a me thing, which I ended up along as the last man standing, a lonely place to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize that it takes more than just me as the last man standing for this world to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have experienced this energy of sorts coming up within and as me, when someone would leave from around me, of feeling better about myself, which ended up being worse for myself, being that I was left with more work to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that I should have been standing at last, instead of being that last man standing, because, standing at last is standing for all as me, as one and equal with everything around me, so

When and as I see, myself wanting to be/be seen as the last man standing, I stop and breath and realize that if I’m the last man standing, who would be around to see me, so it’s useless. I see/realize/understand that I need to remain standing at last, for standing at last is standing for and with all in Oneness and Equality, and thus I would be doing that which is best for all and not only me.

I commit myself to standing at last, until this is done, until I become who I am as life and able to assist and support others to do the same and forever more.

I commit myself to taking others into consideration leaving the old “about me” thing in my past, to not pass judgement on other for what they do or don’t do, nor onto myself for that matter, but to stand as who I am as life at last.

Thank you for reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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6 Responses to Day 480: Last Man Standing Syndrome

  1. Tormod Hvidsten Gjedrem says:

    thanks for your awesome blogs Carlton: much appreciated!

  2. mijn reis naar leven says:

    I like your clear writings, I can see that you are very well aware of what is going on in your/this world.

    Keep up the good work you do!

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