It is vitally important to let go of past memories of what you think has been done to you wrong by other people in your world, understand one thing, what comes up within you will come out, no matter how much you try and suppress it and when it comes out you’re fucked, if you don’t know how to direct it.
When you sit around with nothing to do and start to reminisce what happens is the thoughts start off all warm and fuzzy where you chuckle to yourself at the good times you’ve had and smile, then all of a sudden the good moment turns horrifying, where the bad will inevitably surface, you then start thinking about the things you’ve done and what you should have/could have done differently, then start feeling depressed/ down and out at what you didn’t do, at that point we then look to blame someone for the way we’re feeling and who better to blame than someone who you were in conflict with back then, that you’re still in touch with, i.e. an old girlfriend/boyfriend/homie/brother/sister or associate etc.
Why is it that we still want to explain our side of the story of something that happen years ago, that’s most likely forgotten by others who were involved? But when you bring it back up, it’s like taking off the band aide and pouring salt in the womb of the other person, while you’re looking to feel better about yourself, to get closure on some shit you’re not or didn’t take responsibility for back then.
Thing is, I too was in the same position, where I didn’t understand why things happened the way they did and wanted to know what/if the other person was still thinking about our past excursions, because it came up in my mind, where I allowed myself to be mind-possessed about it, which opened old wombs and I ended up severing an already mended relationship, by not being able to control myself, to stop my mind from directing me into another (mended) then failed relationship again. I mean I’m sure some of us have experienced this once or twice in our lives, then looked back at it and said; “What the fuck was I thinking”, as if now since things were on the up and up, I could bring up some old shit to try and make my point as if they would now accept it, well they didn’t and then realized that I just sealed the fate of another relationship. Oh, boy what a bummer.
The explanation of why this happen is within you and should be taken responsibility for, by yourself, by myself, which brings up the regaining trust factor, where why push it, when a person is showing an attempt to trust you again, then you become mind possessed one morning and write this long ass text message in detail about something that happen in the past/years ago, because you’ve sat there and in your mind thought that you might “Clear the air” when the air was already clear, I mean they don’t want hear this shit, I don’t want to hear this shit and you wouldn’t want to hear this shit if the shit was in your ear, so why shit on a new found agreement with someone of old? It’s not worth it.
That’s why one must be careful what you say, bring up, re-hash, thinking that you’re doing the right thing, but ask yourself is the right thing, what’s best for all, what’s best for you and the other person involved and if not, ‘Let It Lie’, because you’ll be lying to yourself thinking it’s a good idea to let come out, what comes up within and as you, unless corrected/take responsibility for, then shared as a realization of my fault in the matter and even then, it still might be too much for the other person to handle, so there definitely a fine line to walk here to see when and where, if one wants to bring it up or at all.
What I’ve found as a cool solution to; “what comes up, will come out” is, first to realize what comes up is me, and being that it’s me, I must take responsibility for it, meaning if I decide to pollute the air with what comes out of me, I must expect to suffer the consequences for doing so, so my thing now is to when and as I see myself wanting to re-hash, bring up any past excursions that I’m not resolved about, that I’ve had with someone who I’ve mended a relationship with or in general for that matter, I stop and breathe at the onset, and stop myself from going into another mind-possession, by forgiving myself, the thought, the memory and any emotional attachment I have towards it, and let it go unconditionally, accepting my fault in the matter and let by gone be by gone, unless brought back up by the other person, at which time you’ll be able to direct the other person into forgiving and letting go of it, but if you yourself haven’t walked the point then it’s useless to even re-visit it, as it would only cause conflict into another failed relationship, so learn how to stop what comes up within you, that will come out eventually, most likely at the wrong time. HERE.
Thanks for reading.