Day 451: Does The Good You Do Outweigh the Bad?

does-the-good-you-do-outweigh-the-badWhen one is on a diet and have been following the guidelines of the diet to the tee, what comes up is the thought of doing something bad, like eating cake or sweets, things that bad for your teeth and so on that doesn’t coincide with your diet you’re on, but tell ourselves; “Well I’ve been doing Good, so it shouldn’t matter if I have just one piece…”, where we then play our self against our self and justify the “Bad” that we’re about to do, have done or in the process of doing, against the “Good” we’ve done.

That is but one aspect of looking at it, but what I found within my process is similar to this but different, where, I’ll do a lot of good things per se, (According to the changed me), but when I do something bad per se, make a mistake or forget to do something, I’ll scold myself and while making the proper corrections, what’ll come up is the thoughts/memories of when I did something good, as if I was telling myself; “Well what about this or that I did” , which is kind of trick because it happens so quickly that if I’m not careful, I’ll fall into the thought of; “Yeah I did do this and that” and this is where self-honesty comes into play, because if I’m not self-honest with myself, I’ll start believing that the Good I do outweigh the bad, which is a cocktail for disaster.

What I do within my process that I didn’t do before I started process, should have been my normal way of doing things throughout my life, but it wasn’t, such as being aware of where I’m walking, picking up things in my path, having a substantial morning routine, waking up before the crack of dawn, no longer readily reacting to things, being considerate of other people, stopping my mind and so on and so forth, so by these things becoming my normal way of doing thing, in showing me the nature of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become; when I but for a moment go outside the norm, it’s like my mind steps in telling me; “It’s ok because you did this that and the others so don’t worry about it’.

Now that to me is a problem, consisting of a back door to giving up and giving in to my selfish wants/needs/desires, then would find myself right back at square one, because I’ve stop correcting the bad, but only justified the good outweighing it. So for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought the good that I do, outweighed the bad that I have done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made mistakes and thought they were justified, because I’ve done a few things right, (for a change).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lived the balance between the polarity of good and bad, not realizing that a true form of polarity is either doing or not doing, self-honesty or self-dishonesty with no in between.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I’ve made a mistake or forget to do something process related, I would scold myself and while making the proper corrections, have these thoughts/memories come up within and as me of, when I did something good, as if I was telling myself; “Well what about this or that you did” as justification.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize this as a tricky situation to be in, because it happens so quickly that if I’m not careful, I’ll fall into the thought of; “Yeah I did do this and that and would start believing the good I do outweigh the bad, which is a cocktail for disaster.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life as a normal way of doing things, haven’t been aware of where I’m walking, picking up things in my path, have a substantial morning routine, wake up before the crack of dawn, not readily react to things, be considerate to other people and stopping my mind, so now that I have implemented these things in my life as my normal way of doing things, when I but for a moment go outside the norm, it’s like my mind steps in telling me; “It’s ok because you did this, that and the other, so don’t worry about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind step in as a consoling change of direction from the normal way I now do things, as if my inactions at times is justifiable, which is a problem and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that this problem consist of a back door to giving up and giving in to my selfish wants/needs/desires, where I would then find myself back at square one, because of not feeling the need to correct my bad, but justifying to myself the good outweighing it.

When and as I see myself thinking that the good I do outweigh the bad that I have done, where whenever I’ve made a mistake, or forgot to do something, accept and allow my mind to step in, bringing up thoughts and memories of the good I did, trying to justify to myself the bad I’ve done, being ok, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that there is no justifying the bad I have done, the mistakes that I’ve made, nor my forgetful nature, with the good or the right that I have done, because in doing so, shows that I’m nuts first off and it leave open a back door to giving up and giving in to my selfish wants/needs/desires, stale mating my process, where I would then find myself back at square one, because I would become lazy and stop correcting the bad/mistakes I make/ have made, so;

I commit myself to sticking to and correcting all the bad I’ve done, to not repeat it again, the current mistakes I still make at times, correcting and taking responsibility for them at the time they happen and remembering to focusing on what it is I’m doing in the moment, so that I remain equally weighed and stable.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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