Day 444: Too Close For Comfort

Too-close-for-comfort“Oh shit that was close”, when putting ourselves in a compromising position of remembrance of a past place, time, situation or incident, where we find ourselves conforming to the possibility of bringing up old memories again and repeating the past in that moment of remembrance, then state, “Shew, that was too close for comfort”.
Have you ever visited, seen, ran across, by chance stumbled upon a place you’ve been, lived in, went to, created memories in and found that those memories still exist within the place, where they then come back to life when you walk in the place, and if someone is there with you, you experience a light shift within you and find yourself, either talking different, acting different, being the way you were when you first entered and/or lived at that place, some years ago, then catch yourself like; “Holy Cow, what the fuck am I doing”, as the shock wave hit you head on?

It’s interesting how for most part we never realize our actions, how we would act until we’ve acted out, played out a past memory, in an oh so familiar place, then beat ourselves up about it afterwards. This experience is fascinating, where the energy is so strong that you feel a tingling inside, as if you’ve just stepped inside a simulated time machine and end up treating the person that there with you, like a blast from the past, an old friend, acquaintance, x-partner, someone that was in your life during that period of time, I mean not necessarily in a bad way, but you know how you were back then, how you acted, how you behaved, that just came back up and out in a split second, and although the person you’re with don’t realize it, think it’s normal, You do and it troubles you in a surprising way, where you then say; “Wow I got to get out of this place”, that wasn’t cool.

A shocking realization of a point that you just found walking around, as if you were playing Poke-man Go and walked into a battle with yourself, as something else that you have to transcend and correct within yourself. This is actually, in a way a gift you’ve stumbled upon, because if you wouldn’t have gone back to this place, you wouldn’t have realized yourself still reacting in the presence of someone the way you did, triggered by the place that you’re in; that’s me.

Ok, so the other day, being back in a town I used to live in, I was at a friend’s place who stayed around the corner from the house I lived in, some years back, and as we were sitting at his table talking, he told me to flip the paper over that was in front of me, so I did and realized that it was an Open House for the old place I used to live in around the corner (about 12 or so years ago) that was to take place that afternoon, which was eye opening to say the least, but I soon forgot about it and went to handle some business with him, but as I was coming back it dawned on me to stop by and have a look, since I was in the neighbor and had a moment to spare, so I did.

I got to the place and walked inside and was greeted by one of the realtors, who asked if I needed to be shown around, so I said ok, and as we proceeded I told them that I used to live there and saw all the renovations that the last owner had made, and as I was explaining how the place used to look before the renovations, all these memories started coming up within and as me, where I then started talking to this person in character as if I was re-walking the steps I made in that place and felt this tingling energy coming up within and as me, which shocked me that I was acting this way, I mean it was for most part unnoticeable to them (as it seemed), but I knew, this wasn’t me, W.T.F. was I doing and who was this guy.

I then in the moment took a step back and took a breath as a wakeup call, calling myself back out of my mind, trying to locate myself, but at that moment, it didn’t work, this Character was there, and I had to go, so I was courteous, took their card, said thank you and walked out, (In a nutshell). Once I got outside, it was like myself returned and I immediately started applying self-forgiveness out loud and kept saying sorry to myself as this was the first time I experienced something like this in this way, so the entire time travelling the incident kept coming up, circulating in my mind and I kept forgiving myself for it. When I got home the next morning, I wrote it out and did self-forgiveness again on the specific points in depth.

The eye opener for me was in seeing that memories never disappear from any place you’ve been just because you’ve left, but only lie dormant until you take responsibility for them, release yourself from them and let them go unconditionally, thing is now I know, so when and as I just so happen to revisit a place I’ve been before, where I’ve created an extensive amount of memories within, I’ll be sure to watch out for personality shifts and subtle movements coming up within and as me, to use as a flag point and a gift that’s showing me points that I may have overlooked and/or need to still transcend, because that was “Too Close For Comfort. Boy what a day.

Thanks for reading.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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