Day 437: On the Ropes

On-the-ropesIn boxing when a guy is on the ropes, it may seem that the fight is about over and if the guy is not strong enough, he might give in/give up before being knocked down, what happens is the crowd that was rooting for him then turn against him and start looking for a knock, while Booing the person on the ropes and screaming/yelling “Knock him out”, “Knock him out” to the aggressor in the match., insinuating if you’re going through things, who’s going to stick around and support you all the way through, seem as if people have a quick change of heart and don’t want to be seen on your side (per se) when it’s not looking good for you, but on the other hand, (Contextually speaking) as soon as you say “from here no further will I…” then bounce back off the ropes, the tides in peoples mind will rapidly change as no one wants to be on the “losing end of the stick”, but be seen as and with the winner..

There’s this song by Nina Simone with lyrics that goes; “Nobody wants you when you’re down and out, but as soon as you get back on your feet again, here the all come running like they’re your long lost friend”, which is a testament to what I’ve been through a few times in my life and I’m sure a few more of us have as well, where there’s time when we’ll find ourselves on the ropes financially and then get Booed (per se) by our “Friends”, Family members, Associates and so forth, where even if they had the longevity to stick it out with us, they still don’t, I mean very few do, but it’s a small few and the majority will chalk you up and leave you where you’re standing, I mean forget about it, you’re on your own, but as soon as you show signs of life per se, meaning you’ve found a way to bounce back off the ropes, they then want to take credit for you come back, as if it was them bringing you back, by saying things like; “See I knew you would come back” (Which wasn’t the case) or “See I had faith in you and was always rooting for you” (Which is a bold face lie) or “See if I would have helped you, then you probably wouldn’t have bounced back” (Which is a slap in the face), and a note to self, this person never gave two fucks about you and you shouldn’t trust them.

It’s funny all the call you get when your back on your feet again, off the ropes, back into the fight/survival so to speak. “Hey man, I was just touching bases with you, haven’t spoken to you in a long time”, “How are you doing” (knowing Damn well you’re good now), then say, “If you need anything let me know”, as a plea for acceptance again, because you’re doing good. I mean that’s the way it goes, or might I say how we have made this life into a Spite filled Mine Field, where everywhere you turn you’re being Spited in every which way possible.

Oddly enough, It’s not about being helped or not or that people will leave you when you’re on the ropes and come calling back when you’re back on your feet, it’s about your reaction to what’s going on, will you react to what others think when you’re on the ropes, will you react when they leave you, will you react to when they come calling back, because two (2) Spites don’t and won’t make it Right and if you know that people are this way, from being this way yourself, why react to what you’ve done towards others, that’s being shown to you through the mirrored imagery of someone else action, you must take responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been on the ropes per se and have realized that people really didn’t care about what I was going through and left me to go through it, but when I got back on my feet again, they came calling back again, as if nothing ever happened, where I then reacted with anger to them leaving me and resentment to them come back and calling me as if nothing ever happened.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize my nature being shown to me, as having done the same to someone else before in my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have done the same in relations to leaving someone on the ropes, in not having the longevity to stick it out with them, but only came back after they were doing better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry for being left on the ropes, when going through a situation, where I expected others to be there for me, and they weren’t, within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have expectations of other being there for me, when I was on the ropes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have resentment, to resent others for coming back, calling me back, when I was back on my feet, and having backchat of; “How dare they, even have the audacity to even try and reach out to me, when they left me hanging”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that my reactions make no sense, especially since I know my own nature, the nature of others and should have realized what goes around comes around and that my reactions are to my own detriment, forgetting the fact that I need to forgive them as I have done the same towards others and the cycle needs to stop by my hand and get past this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate a cycle of anger and resentment, towards/unto others in my life who’ve left when I was down and out/on the ropes and came back when I got back on my feet. I see realize understand that it’s not their fault for leaving, but my fault for reacting to them leaving, it’s not their fault for popping back up out the blue, but my fault for harboring resentment towards them when they came back, so

From there no further will I accept and allow myself to react to the actions/inactions of others, but instead to see myself within and as them and remain stable in what I’m going through.

When and as I see myself becoming angry, when I’m on the ropes and realize that others don’t really care what I’m going through, but when I get back on my feet, harbor resentment towards them for leaving and coming back and calling me, then having the back chat come up of; “They have the audacity to come back after what they did”, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that my reactions are not warranted and that it’s not their fault for leaving, but my fault for reacting to them leaving and it’s not their fault for coming back but my fault for harboring resentment towards them when they came back.

I commit myself to no longer react towards other, for what their actions towards me has been, because of the situation I’m in, but instead to remain stable in walking through what I am going through, as this will keep me focus on resolving the situation more quickly.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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