Day 436: You Can’t Breathe Your Way Out of a Thought

You-cant-breathe-your--way-out-of-a-thoughtAt times I find myself stuck in my mind, bringing up one thought after another, mostly being old memories, I mean anything New coming up would falls under my imagination, which is fascinating, because it shows that I’m not directing myself enough to create any New thought, which brings to ponder what would one think about when creating a New thought? In the moment of thinking I see that there is a lack of self-directive-ness on my part, but what do I do, I find myself saying stop in the middle of the thought and try to breathe my way out of it, then catch myself after the fact like “Really, you just tried to breathe your way out of that thought, and think it’s going to work”; By that time it’s too late, in which case I find that I am continuously letting the same thoughts/memories loop over and over again, then become frustrated that they’re not stopping, until I stop myself and take a breath, apply Self-Forgiveness, then take another breath before proceeding with what I am doing in that moment.

Within that I see myself over exaggerating my breathing as if I’m trying to catch up for lost breaths or something, which only makes me think more, it’s funny because hurray if you do, and damned if you don’t do it the right way or not at all and then you die. I mean there really is no catching you’re breathe, if you’re already breathing, but to breathe to slow your heart rate down.

The point is to realize your breath in every moment, and what I realized is that you can’t breathe your way out of a thought, but in realizing your breath in every moment you stop the thoughts from coming up in the first place, so for this;

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to think that I could breathe myself out of a thought, in the midst of thinking and it would work, without going through the correct steps in stopping the thought completely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I find myself stuck in my mind, bringing up thoughts/old memories, not stop them in the moment of realization, but let them persist almost to the point of reacting, then try and stop them with an exaggerated breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exaggerate my breathing, when I found myself stuck in my mind about to react to what I was thinking and/or the memory that came up in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose track of my breathing and find myself stuck in my mind, as if what’s in my mind is more important than being Here, focused on what I am doing in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted, by the thoughts going through my head, while writing my self-forgiveness on this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself enough to create any New thoughts, but instead let my imagination take the place of my expression. Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed m imagination to take the place of my expression, in relations to bringing up any New thoughts, then believe that’ was me expressing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know the difference between self-expression and my imagination, as self-expression would be self-direction/movement in the moment, but if there is a thought coming up before hand, it’s the mind and my imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continuously let the same thoughts/memories loop over and over again, while doing physical work, then become frustrated that they’re not stopping, as if they’re there for my pass time enjoyment, helping me to get through what I’m doing, which means that I’m not directing myself within the moment to choose what comes up or not.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to direct myself in the moment, by choosing what comes up in my mind or not, while doing physical work, working.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated that these thoughts and memories kept looping over and over again, not realizing the more I became frustrated the more they would continue.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that frustration escalates the continuation of any pattern that you’re dealing with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my breath incorrectly to try and correct myself from thinking too much, which didn’t work, but only made matters worse, meaning more thoughts came up.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted ad allowed myself to see/realize/understand that you can’t breathe your way out of a thought, but in realizing your breath in every moment you stop the thoughts from coming up in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I was catching my breath, when exerting a lot of energy, instead of realizing that I was already breathing, but only slowing my heart rate down, to stabilize my body.

When and as I see myself, thinking that I could breathe myself out of a thought, in the midst of thinking, without taking the correct steps to stop my thoughts completely, where when I find myself stuck in my mind, bringing up thoughts/old memories and not stop them in the moment of realization but let them persist almost to the point of reacting, then exaggerate my breathing and because my exaggerated breath didn’t work, I end up reacting any way in frustration that the thoughts/memories keep coming back up, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I am fucking with myself extensively, by not correctly releasing myself from these thoughts/memories, through self-forgiveness, but trying to cut corners (per se) and breathing my way out of it, which of course doesn’t work. I also realize that you can’t breathe your way out of a thought, but in realize your breath in every moment you stop the thoughts from coming up in the first place.

I commit myself to stopping these thoughts/memories from coming up in the first place, by realizing my breath in every moment.

I commit myself to when and as a thought or memory come up while doing physical work, to stop, breathe and apply Self-Forgiveness in the moment, then breathe again to release this thought/memory and no longer accept and allow myself to try and breathe my way out of a thought.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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