Day 431: My Relationship to Patience

My-relationship-with-patienceMy relationship to patience has been a little shaky, being that I have become a patient to the mind, instead of standing adjacent to Self, Here and waiting the time it takes for things to be done, get done, everything is a process at hand, involving steps specifically needed for things to work right, correctly, to be corrected, even to finish cooking, as simplistic as it sounds, some of us can’t wait to eat, we want things quick fast and in a hurry, just to hurry up and wait, where patience is then forced upon us, so in actuality we do experience patience either way, whether we’re aware of it or not.

It seems that we become impatience with things of self-interest, but resist anything that leads to common sense, such a change, where we’ll wait till the moon fall out the sky before we lift a finger to do anything to help Self become life.

I’ve heard that patience is dangerous, which is true in the since where, in my life the point of getting even was very prevalent, where although I learned the concept of turn the other cheek, yes I would turn it, but would harbor resentment to the person I felt wronged me and could wait forever until they needed something from me, then would bring it back up in their face like, look remember this buddy, which had a backfiring mechanism attached to it as well, where what went around came back around and found myself experiencing the same when I needed them.

An interesting aspect of patience or might I say impatience, is mostly perpetuated in movies where it seems that the guy and girl can’t wait to have sex with each other, to on the other end say that your mine and I love you, which is pretty strange because in reality it doesn’t really work that way, more like have sex, argue then can’t wait to leave, or just can’t wait to leave, the patience within this comes in the buildup, which is not really patience at all, but manipulation to get what you want in the long run, to run off in the end with a notch on your belt, not only men, but it goes both ways.

Standing in line at the Bank or the grocery store, in rush hour traffic or driving through a construction zone, waiting for your sibling to come out the bathroom or waiting for a ride to school, all the places where patience is need, but waiting for the world to change is not patience, but an excuse to not take action, responsibility in creating the change you want to see, but most importantly to be patience with yourself.

The point of being patience with yourself is the point where work is needed, where I have been hard on myself at times when I don’t get things right away and/or will do something in a rush then go back and realized that I could have waited a bit longer for a better outcome, so where does this rush come from? What comes up is excitement, the excitement of completion, getting through to the final stage of a project, a lesson, an assignment, then lose a bit of focus in wanting to race to the finish line per se, which beings up the word competition, in which case we’re just competing with ourselves and not have any patience with ourselves, so for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my relationship to patience to be a little shaky, where for somethings I would have patience for the others I wouldn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have no patience when it comes to waiting for things that I like out of self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in having no patience, have become a patient to the mind, instead of standing adjacent to Self, Here and waiting the time it take for things to be done, get done.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that everything is a process at hand, involving steps specifically needed for things to work right, correctly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want things quick, fast and in a hurry, just to hurry up and wait, where patience is then forced upon me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become impatience with things of self-interest where I couldn’t wait to get to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used patience to get even with someone in my life that I thought wronged me, where I would harbor resentment towards that person and would wait forever until they needed something from me, then I would bring it back up in their face like, look remember this buddy.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this behavior had a backfiring mechanism attached to it as well, where what went around came around and found myself experiencing the same, when I needed them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have waited for the world to change, not realizing that this doesn’t consist of patience, but is an excuse to not take action, responsibility in creating the change I want to see in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that I was having patience when I was waiting for the world to change, not realizing that I lacked taking responsibility, to make it happen.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for creating the change I would like to see in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not been patience with myself, where I have been hard on myself at times, when I don’t get things right away and/or will do something in a rush then go back and realize that I could have waited a bit longer for a better outcome.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush because of the excitement of getting to the completion of something, getting through to the final stages of a project, a lesson, an assignment, then lose a bit of focus in wanting to race to the finish line per se, opening up the door for me to make a mistake.
Within this, which brings up the word competition, in which case I am just competing with myself, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to open up the word competition and compete with myself, instead of being patience, here with myself. So;

When and as I see myself not being patience, here with myself, where I would come to the final stages of a project, a lesson, an assignment and want to race to the finish line per se, with the excitement of completion, which shows that I am only competing with myself, opening the door for possible mistakes being done, because of rushing, I stop and breathe. I see realize understand that everything is a process at hand, involving steps specifically needed for things to work right, correctly, to achieve the best possible outcome, in which case patience is warranted, without it mistakes are made.

So, I commit myself to having patience with myself and no longer being in competition with myself as I see/realize this is the mind directing the rush of things in me, to a possible detrimental outcome = lack of effective completion.

I commit myself to being patience with the things I am implementing to get to an effective outcome.

I commit myself to stopping my sense of rush and in this case, brush my mind aside and directly walk through the situation, project etc. clearly seeing all point necessary for an effective completion/outcome.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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