Day 428: A Change of Heart

Change-of-heartWhat makes a person drop everything they believe in and suddenly have a change of heart about what they knew? Times are ever so changing, this world, the Earth, Humanity as a whole and the information we receive, I mean we have the internet now, which makes a change of heart just one click away and ever so trending. Peer pressure (I would say) is probably by far the number one (1) cause of someone having a change of heart, (Don’t believe me Just go ask a friend), where if everyone else is doing it then, so am I and if not, then I’ll have a change of heart.

The most common change of heart that I see is the words; “I love you”, “I don’t love you”, said with the change of the wind, I mean in actuality, if your heart really did change or skip a beat, you’ll probably be dead, so why do we use such a metaphor? It’s fairly easy to see when dealing with the mind, that a change of heart is the reversal of one’s feelings, intentions or opinions, in fact this statement does not refer to the physical heart in one’s body, but the Red drawn heart in one’s mind, that can be torn, broken and mended back together all in a matter of moments, with a few selective words, Meaning I changed my mind, but the feeling I got was in my chest area, so I’m calling it a change of heart.

In the moment what suits you is what’s on you mine and your heart’s fine, who you’re with and how long they’ll put up with your bullshit, but as soon as they challenge you with a bit of common sense, you suddenly have a change of heart and not want to deal with them anymore, claiming that things just didn’t work out and this person is an asshole and makes me feel bad or why are they always so negative, I mean how many of you have experience this? A change of heart.

Another common change of heart is; “I know I promised it to you, but I went with the highest bidder”, I needed the money more than you needed this produce, is what we’re really saying and no matter if it ruined our friendship, it was mine to sell any way, they’ll get over it. Within this case one can see that money clearly can buy a change of heart as a fraction of example and on a Global scale, that’s how we sold each other into slavery, with a change of heart, bought by yours truly…

What’s interesting is that a change of heart is also an indecisive lack of Self-Trust, in which case one becomes scared to make a decision either way on a particular point and thus end up making the wrong decision because it was the easiest thing to do and say I had no choice, where you thought about change then decided to have a change of heart about changing yourself. Most common.

There have been plenty of times that I’ve had a change of heart, when things didn’t go how I wanted them to or when I saw greener pastures on the other side of the fence, I mean who wants to go down with a losing team, I thought, so at the last moment I would have a change of heart, especially in my relationships until that last change was too hard to get over, which in essence forced me to change to who I am today, an ever so changing man, doing his part, so for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life have had a change of heart on different things, situations and against others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had changed my heart when things didn’t go how I wanted them to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had a change of heart when I saw greener pastured on the other side of the fence (per se), thinking that if I stayed on this side, I would go down with a losing team.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had a change of heart especially in my relationships, that is until that last change was too hard to get over, which was the catapult to me forcing myself to have to change, because all of my relationships had failed and I was left alone with my “ever so changing heart”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my “ever so changing heart” would be the downfall of any partnership/relationship I would ever get into. Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stick with one person, because of my “ever so changing heart”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have dropped everything I believed in and about a person and suddenly have a change of heart, out of self-interest about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have saw things on the internet and I have had a change of heart about what I believed in that moment, with just one click.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been easily persuaded by the things I was told by others to suit their self interest in order to get what I wanted from them, thus I had a change of heart.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at a time in my life, have let Peer pressure make me have a change of heart.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had a change of heart in using the words; “I love you”, “I don’t love you”, with the change of the wind so easily.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that in actuality, if my heart really did change or skip a beat, I would probably die, so in fact, the change of heart I was experiencing was not of the physical heart in my body, but the Red drawn heart in my mind, that can be torn, broken and mended back together all in a matter of moments, with a few selective words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought/perceived/believed that any particular feeling I got in my chest area, constituted a change of heart and was me changing my heart, instead of realizing that it was just an energy experience from reacting emotionally to whatever situation I was faced with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a change of heart is also an indecisive lack of Self-Trust in a way, where I would be scared to make a decision either way on a particular point and thus end up making the wrong decision, because it was the easiest thing to do, thinking that I had a choice in the matter, but it was just me thinking about change then decided to have a change of heart (Mind) about changing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take so long to have a real change of heart about the way I was living, until I was placed in a position of having to change myself, which in hindsight, I’m in a way glad it happened the way it did.

When and as I see myself deluding myself (once again) into believing that I am having a change of heart about a person and/or situation that doesn’t suit my self-interest, where I would have this energetic experience within my chest area and think that my Heart is ever so changing lol, instead of realizing that it’s not my physical heart that’s changing but the Red drawn heart in my mind that can be torn, broken and mended back together again, all in the matter of moments with a few selective words, constituting me changing my mind, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that a change of heart as I have defined it is, but a reversal of my intentions, feelings and opinion etc., which is all energy based and doesn’t relate to my physical heart in any way, but to my mind. I also realize that a real change of Heart is a complete life changing experience, where I no longer accept and allow myself to participate in any of the things I used to, but instead to correct me in every way possible to become who I am as life.

I commit myself to continue changing myself from who I have become in this life, to who I am as life, to stand equal to and one with who self is – Knowing living who I am, as my physical body and all the organs within it, namely my Heart.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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